Shotgun has changed my life
Monday, August 08, 2005
Dear friends, I urge you to always think with your head before you act. People seldom heed this warning until its too late. One moment they are free to enjoy themselves, the next moment, you're holding a baby in your arms. Having a baby is no joke. It requires you to spend most of your time with it, watching over it, cleaning its pee/shit, waking up in the middle of the night when it wakes up, feed it at fixed timings, bathe it...etc. Basically, it changes your life and your life will practically revolve around it.
Often, visual pleasure causes us to do things at a moment when our senses are highly charged. I call this fatal attraction. Because of temptation that attraction brings you, you will indulge in that which people say is what Man sometimes love the most. I would say it is even Man's best friend. ;) However, you will realise that you have paid a heavy price and maybe you should have stopped for a while before you plunged into that act. But then again, I now understand how hard it feels to abstain and pull yourself away once you've entered a place, which just numbs your mind and lets your senses lead the way, to an unexpected, long term commitment with a baby.
I am now speaking from experience. I regret to say that I might not be able to blog as often as before. Initially, I thought that starting work would be a life changing moment. But now, 1 week before I start work, my life has changed beyond my wildest expectations.
On Friday, I became a father of a baby boy.
This is why I am writing this to warn everyone. Think, before you do something that you might live to regret. Think, before you enter a place you know will just make you go weak in the knees. And even if you are intending to have a baby, think, and research, so that you know what it takes to be a parent of a child.
I always pictured myself having 3 kids. I never imagined having a baby could be this difficult. I think I just didn't realise how much commitment, patience and effort it takes to raise a child and provide it with all that it needs. Now I know.
Now, I spend most of my waking hours cleaning my baby. Each time it pees/shits, I have to clean up the mess. I think I have done more cleaning in the past few days than I had all my life. I have to wake up early every morning to feed it, when I used wake up anytime I want. I cannot sleep late anymore because I am so tired after looking after my baby that I need to sleep once it goes to sleep. Also, because if I don't sleep, I won't get enough sleep as it wakes me up in the middle of the night too. I cannot go out because I cannot leave him alone at home. I can't pass on the burden to my family because I am responsible for it after all. But even when I did go out for a while, my mind was on him all the time, worrying if he is alright, worrying about everything, such that I will be so bothered by it, I will just go home as fast as I can. I have rejected pple asking me out since then because I prefer to be at home with my baby.
In contrast, although I love my baby, and it is irresistably cute, he does get on my nerves sometimes. All that cleaning, when I am tired, hot, sweaty, sleepy...etc, makes me irritable. I initially thought of putting him up for adoption, because i didn't know what to do with it. I was going to work in a week, I wouldn't be home to take care of it, my parents work too, my sis and brother have school, there would be no one to take care of him. And when I was tired and cleaning up so much, I just wanted to give up.
But then, it is my baby, how can I give it away just like that. But then, what if I don't give it enough care and it suffers in my hands? I am really between the devil and the deep blue sea.
Even now, I am typing this with the little time I have while it is asleep, the only free time I have now. I didn't even have time to turn on my computer the whole of yesterday. Thus, I guess I wouldn't be blogging much anymore in future, unless I am lucky to have time, in addition to my work.
Therefore, I once again urge all of you, to think properly before you act. You might not be ready to be in my shoes. Especially if you are young. Neither might your parents be that supportive of your baby.
Yes, you may be tempted when you see/hear friends doing it, but that doesn't mean you must do it. Wait. Till you are mentally, financially, emotionally ready, to commit to a living being.
Remember, it is a life we are talking about.
And it changes the way you live. Trust me on that.
Mingmong _ c r a p p e d _ @ 6:47 PM |
