Insurance agents, the bane of the mingmongster. In recent weeks, I've had a couple of cold calls from these agents trying to sell me their stuff. Somehow, they seem to have a knack for calling at times when I most do not want them to. For example, I received a call while I was overseas, thus paying IDD, or calling me when I am sleeping which is definitely the WORST time to do so. And the problem with these guys is that they just do not know how to put down the phone. And the problem with me is that I am nice, so I try my best to get them to put down the phone without me directly asking them to get lost. The result is that nice people like me lose, and they talk longer and longer and longer. Therefore, I think I need to devise a way to get them off my back, at the shortest time possible, but at the same time, trying to be tactful.
Somehow, I suspect that all new insurance agent wannabies are put through a boot camp, where they are taught how to talk non-stop, undergo a skin graft (to make their skin as thick as possible), and learn the art of stalking (aka pestering/harrying). So these new Agent Harrys (as I call them for their unrelenting harrying methods), fresh from boot camp, eager to become Prince Harry or even the King of all the Harrys, are the most petrifying of its kind. Their favourite hunting grounds are the MRT stations. They camp outside the entrances, eyeing the crowd for potential victims who would willingly put their pen to paper and sign their moolah away.
In a recent article I read, Agent Harry, along with the property agents or car salesmen, rank among the most disliked professionals among people. I suppose Agent Harry knew that they aren't very well liked in society, and that means less people want to become Agent Harry, so they decided its time to give themselves a better name. They gave themselves a new moniker, Financial Planners. So when they introduce themselves to people, they might go "wooooo" or "ahhhh". But of course, once you know that they are actually Agent Harry under a guise, we stay clear of them anyway.
Agent Harry has the same tactics all the time, which is why I suspect they all undergo a centralised training. Agent Harry says the same things all the time, no matter what company they come from.
There was this Agent Harry who called me up in Europe, and I told him I am overseas, so I couldn't talk. He asked when I would be back. I told him. He said he'll call me back again. When I came back on Thursday night, he called me the following Monday morning, when I was asleep. Nevertheless, I still tried to be nice. And these are some of the things you should never say to Agent Harry, because they are prepared to counter it...
Mingmong: I'm sorry, but I'm not really interested in insurance at the moment. I don't really want to think about it at this time.
Agent Harry: Oh, that's the problem I think most people have. They don't really have an interest about insurance, and they don't think about it until they need it. I have a client who didn't buy insurance, but then he suddenly got ill and found that he needed insurance coverage, but by then it was too late.
Mingmong: (nabey, you cursing me so early in the morning ah) Errr, ya but then I have a policy that my Dad took out for me already.
Agent Harry: Oh, what type of policy is that may I know?
Mingmong: Life. I think.
Agent Harry: Oh, a life policy only covers a loss of life or disability...(blah blah blah). There are many other policies available especially for someone of your age.
Mingmong: (Still trying to get him to give up) Err...ok but I am have not started earning yet, so I think I want to wait till I earn a proper income first, before I get my own policies.
Agent Harry: Oh, I see. When do you start work?
Mingmong: August
Agent Harry: Oh, in that case, why not we meet up and allow me to share with you more about insurance first? No obligations at all. I just need 30 minutes of your time.
Mingmong: (irritated) Sorry, but I am not interested in knowing about insurance since I am not thinking of getting any at the moment, maybe next time.
Agent Harry: Ohh, I see. But I think that's the problem with most people. They are not really informed about what insurance is about...(blah blah blah). Would it be ok if you spare me just 30 minutes, we sit down for a drink and I just share with you. I just want to help you since you were recommended to me by you friend.
Mingmong: (makes mental note: tell all friends not to ever give my number to Agent Harry, otherwise they will use that against me) Nah, its ok. I don't really know when I will be free. I have a lot lined up over the next few days. Anyway, I also have friends who are in this line. I think I can approach them if I need anything.
Agent Harry: Oh, may I know what company your friends are from?
Mingmong: P*********
Agent Harry: Oh, but its ok, since your friend recommend you to me, I can help you as well.
Mingmong: (makes mental note: kill that friend) Ok, but I think I AM REALLY not interested at this point of time. Maybe later on when I am financially stable, and I find the need for it, then I will consider this (and I was thinking maybe 1 year later).
Agent Harry: Oh, ok. That would be fine. You start work in August am I right?
Mingmong: Yes.
Agent Harry: Ok, then is it ok if I call you at the end of August just to see how you are doing?
Mingmong: (Pengz! I give up!) Okok. Anything la.
Agent Harry: Ok thanks Eu Ming. I will sms you my mobile number, and this is my office number. If you have any queries regarding this, do feel free to call me anytime.
Mingmong: Ok. Bye.
That's just an excerpt of the main conversation. But it did go on for at least 20 minutes. Never has anyone asked me out for a "date" again immediately after I've just rejected them. I wonder if they are also this aggressive when it comes to chasing girls.
Just to prove my point that Agent Harry says the same things, uses the same tactics all the time, this is another conversation with Agent Harry. This time it is a girl, and I was awake, and more prepared. She said similar things to me, though they're from different companies. This time Agent Harry said she was in Wealth Management, another new "professionally" coined moniker that recently emerged. Same Agent Harry, just different product. This one's more investment based.
Mingmong: You're trying to sell me insurance right?
Agent Harry: Oh, no no. Its not the same. What we do in wealth management is to help people manage their money and offer them attractive returns as well.
Mingmong: Sorry but I am not working yet, so I have no funds to offer you.
Agent Harry: Oh, when do you start work?
Mingmong: Soon. In August.
Agent Harry: Oh, I see. But would you like to meet up for a coffee, and I can share with you more about what I do?
Mingmong: Erm, no thanks. I'm not really interested to know right now. No interest in this.
Agent Harry: Oh, but I think that's common among most people I meet. Which is why I want to help you, and share with you the potential benefits. Basically, we help manage the money people put with us...(blah blah blah).
Mingmong: Its ok, because I think I would like to manage my own savings.
Agent Harry: Oh, but we will definitely offer you a better return than the bank.
Mingmong: No, I meant I would rather invest my money myself in stocks etc.
Agent Harry: Oh, but we have specialists who can actually help you do a good job with that.
Mingmong: Ya I know, but I think I rather try it out myself and learn.
Agent Harry: Oh, but don't you think you might end up with DISASTROUS results?
Mingmong: (irritated) Well, I think that's a risk I have to take if I want to learn. And I think with my work, I will have the relevant experience to do it myself. (a bit exaggerating here)
Agent Harry: Oh, err, if you don't mind sir, what will you be working as?
Mingmong: (heheh...I think she's gonna be speechless) I'm gonna be a Trader. (I deliberately stopped short of saying oil)
Agent Harry: Oh. Err. Hmm...
Mingmong: (Muahaha!) Ya, so as I said, I think I can apply what I do at work to my own money, so even if you can help, I still want to do it myself.
Agent Harry: Oh, ok then. *pause* Err, is it ok then if I add you to my birthday calendar? I will send you a card or give you a call on your birthday or something.
Mingmong: (damn!) Alright. My birthday is XXXXXX.
So, typically, Agent Harry always wants to date you, Agent Harry loves to 'help' strangers as they claim, and the love to call you back again. Most importantly, they know how to talk. So, I have decided that I should be more prepared for the next cold call I'm gonna receive from Agent Harry, or maybe if he ambushes me outside the MRT station.
This is how I think I will reply their commonly used phrases, and hope they will give up...
If they try to date you...
Agent Harry: Can I meet up with you to share with you more about what I do? I just need 30 minutes of your time. No obligations at all, just need a little of your time over a drink.
Mingmong: Har...Where got 30 minutes? I need to bathe and change, already 30 minutes. Then I take bus and mrt down from my house to town another 1 hour. Then meet you 30 minutes. Then take mrt and bus home 1 hour again. Then give another 30 minutes miscellaneous admin like go toilet, altogether 4 hours leh. Too long la.
Agent Harry: (assuming he counters me) Oh, I can meet you closer to your house, then you don't have to travel so much.
Mingmong: Har....since you come closer to my house, then might as well come my house la.
Agent Harry: That's great, so I'll meet you at your house then?
Mingmong: No la...I say you come my house fetch me go out la. You say meet for drink, then you think you come my house I give you drink meh. Where got such thing? You ask me out for drink of course you buy me drink la!
Agent Harry: Oh, ok. I might not have a car available to fetch you.
Mingmong: You dunno how to take cab ah.
Agent Harry: (starting to think he damn lugi, but instructor say must persevere, tough customer also must lun4) Oh, ok. I'll come pick you tomorrow then and we'll go to Tampines Mall for a drink?
Mingmong: Eh dey, what Tampines Mall? I thought drink means drink alcohol? Go pub or what la. Say first, must open bottle one.
Agent Harry: (siao liao la! but bo pian, must lun!) Ok, tomorrow night we go Harry's ok? I can tell you more over drinks.
Mingmong: Steady la!
(at the pub...)
Mingmong: Eh, we must drink first then talk. You all always entertain clients, sure good drinker right? Come! I drink one you drink two. Bo tah bo lam pah.
Agent Harry: (lun. lun. lun.) Ok, cheers.
1 hour later, Agent Harry is drunk. Mingmong zhao go home and sleep.
If they try to "help" you...
Agent Harry: I want to help you. There are people who realise they are in need of money but have no insurance coverage. / I want to help you. You can put aside $50 with me each month instead of spending it without even knowing it. I am helping you to save for the future because I think people don't have a habit of saving...etc (and what ever help save the world shit...)
Mingmong: Wah, you practising for Mr/Miss Universe Q&A ah. You should say world peace la. You say so much, confuse the judges only. They like only 2 word answers then the let you win liao. Next time just say world peace!
Agent Harry: No no sir, I truly want to help you. I believe in my company's products and I feel its good for people. At least I share with you and inform you of how it can help you...(blah blah blah)
Mingmong: Wahhh...so noble ah. Ok la, since you just want to help people, means like volunteer worker la! Its hard to find people these days who are willing to help people and not reap any benefit. Ok la, I better not waste your time, I think more people need your help. I go find another guy to buy. You helping people not for the commission, so you better go talk to those who don't want to buy. I give someone else the commission to someone else la.
Agent Harry: Oh, no no sir, its ok, I can help you too. Don't need to look for someone else. Let me serve you.
Mingmong: Orh, ok la, since I'm talking to you already. But then now I got no time la, why not you type out everything you need to say then you send to me. When I free then I read la ok? Ok byebye.
And if they try to call you back...
Agent Harry: Can I call you back maybe at the end of August to see how you are?
Mingmong: Cannnnnnnn! Send me all your contact numbers ok! So I can call you if I need help also.
Agent Harry: Great!
Mingmong gets the numbers, save in his contact list. When the number calls, kup the phone.
Or...
Agent Harry: Can I add you to my birthday calandar and send you a card or give you a call on your birthday?
Mingmong: Cannnnn! But I don't want a call, nor a card, I want a present. I am currently in need of an iPod.
Agent Harry: Oh, err I'm sorry but its company policy not to send gifts to clients.
Mingmong: Liddat ah...ok lorrr. Too bad then.
Agent Harry: Ok so when is your birthday?
Mingmong: 29 Febuary 1981. Do send me all your contact numbers so I can contact you if I need help in future.
Agent Harry: Sure, thanks alot!
And as usual, save the numbers, kup the phone if they call.
Anyway, I have some friends who have decided to go into this industry (this is not a direct attack at you guys!), and I told them not to preach to me about their products, and that I will look for them when I want it. If anyone of you is in this line, don't look for me either. Since I have people I know doing this, what for give strangers the business right? So dear friends who sell insurance or do financial planning or whatever, so long as you're Agent Harry, don't be angry. This is just for fun la. I will still give you some biz. Mingmong _ c r a p p e d _ @ 8:32 PM |
Insurance agents, the bane of the mingmongster. In recent weeks, I've had a couple of cold calls from these agents trying to sell me their stuff. Somehow, they seem to have a knack for calling at times when I most do not want them to. For example, I received a call while I was overseas, thus paying IDD, or calling me when I am sleeping which is definitely the WORST time to do so. And the problem with these guys is that they just do not know how to put down the phone. And the problem with me is that I am nice, so I try my best to get them to put down the phone without me directly asking them to get lost. The result is that nice people like me lose, and they talk longer and longer and longer. Therefore, I think I need to devise a way to get them off my back, at the shortest time possible, but at the same time, trying to be tactful.
Somehow, I suspect that all new insurance agent wannabies are put through a boot camp, where they are taught how to talk non-stop, undergo a skin graft (to make their skin as thick as possible), and learn the art of stalking (aka pestering/harrying). So these new Agent Harrys (as I call them for their unrelenting harrying methods), fresh from boot camp, eager to become Prince Harry or even the King of all the Harrys, are the most petrifying of its kind. Their favourite hunting grounds are the MRT stations. They camp outside the entrances, eyeing the crowd for potential victims who would willingly put their pen to paper and sign their moolah away.
In a recent article I read, Agent Harry, along with the property agents or car salesmen, rank among the most disliked professionals among people. I suppose Agent Harry knew that they aren't very well liked in society, and that means less people want to become Agent Harry, so they decided its time to give themselves a better name. They gave themselves a new moniker, Financial Planners. So when they introduce themselves to people, they might go "wooooo" or "ahhhh". But of course, once you know that they are actually Agent Harry under a guise, we stay clear of them anyway.
Agent Harry has the same tactics all the time, which is why I suspect they all undergo a centralised training. Agent Harry says the same things all the time, no matter what company they come from.
There was this Agent Harry who called me up in Europe, and I told him I am overseas, so I couldn't talk. He asked when I would be back. I told him. He said he'll call me back again. When I came back on Thursday night, he called me the following Monday morning, when I was asleep. Nevertheless, I still tried to be nice. And these are some of the things you should never say to Agent Harry, because they are prepared to counter it...
Mingmong: I'm sorry, but I'm not really interested in insurance at the moment. I don't really want to think about it at this time.
Agent Harry: Oh, that's the problem I think most people have. They don't really have an interest about insurance, and they don't think about it until they need it. I have a client who didn't buy insurance, but then he suddenly got ill and found that he needed insurance coverage, but by then it was too late.
Mingmong: (nabey, you cursing me so early in the morning ah) Errr, ya but then I have a policy that my Dad took out for me already.
Agent Harry: Oh, what type of policy is that may I know?
Mingmong: Life. I think.
Agent Harry: Oh, a life policy only covers a loss of life or disability...(blah blah blah). There are many other policies available especially for someone of your age.
Mingmong: (Still trying to get him to give up) Err...ok but I am have not started earning yet, so I think I want to wait till I earn a proper income first, before I get my own policies.
Agent Harry: Oh, I see. When do you start work?
Mingmong: August
Agent Harry: Oh, in that case, why not we meet up and allow me to share with you more about insurance first? No obligations at all. I just need 30 minutes of your time.
Mingmong: (irritated) Sorry, but I am not interested in knowing about insurance since I am not thinking of getting any at the moment, maybe next time.
Agent Harry: Ohh, I see. But I think that's the problem with most people. They are not really informed about what insurance is about...(blah blah blah). Would it be ok if you spare me just 30 minutes, we sit down for a drink and I just share with you. I just want to help you since you were recommended to me by you friend.
Mingmong: (makes mental note: tell all friends not to ever give my number to Agent Harry, otherwise they will use that against me) Nah, its ok. I don't really know when I will be free. I have a lot lined up over the next few days. Anyway, I also have friends who are in this line. I think I can approach them if I need anything.
Agent Harry: Oh, may I know what company your friends are from?
Mingmong: P*********
Agent Harry: Oh, but its ok, since your friend recommend you to me, I can help you as well.
Mingmong: (makes mental note: kill that friend) Ok, but I think I AM REALLY not interested at this point of time. Maybe later on when I am financially stable, and I find the need for it, then I will consider this (and I was thinking maybe 1 year later).
Agent Harry: Oh, ok. That would be fine. You start work in August am I right?
Mingmong: Yes.
Agent Harry: Ok, then is it ok if I call you at the end of August just to see how you are doing?
Mingmong: (Pengz! I give up!) Okok. Anything la.
Agent Harry: Ok thanks Eu Ming. I will sms you my mobile number, and this is my office number. If you have any queries regarding this, do feel free to call me anytime.
Mingmong: Ok. Bye.
That's just an excerpt of the main conversation. But it did go on for at least 20 minutes. Never has anyone asked me out for a "date" again immediately after I've just rejected them. I wonder if they are also this aggressive when it comes to chasing girls.
Just to prove my point that Agent Harry says the same things, uses the same tactics all the time, this is another conversation with Agent Harry. This time it is a girl, and I was awake, and more prepared. She said similar things to me, though they're from different companies. This time Agent Harry said she was in Wealth Management, another new "professionally" coined moniker that recently emerged. Same Agent Harry, just different product. This one's more investment based.
Mingmong: You're trying to sell me insurance right?
Agent Harry: Oh, no no. Its not the same. What we do in wealth management is to help people manage their money and offer them attractive returns as well.
Mingmong: Sorry but I am not working yet, so I have no funds to offer you.
Agent Harry: Oh, when do you start work?
Mingmong: Soon. In August.
Agent Harry: Oh, I see. But would you like to meet up for a coffee, and I can share with you more about what I do?
Mingmong: Erm, no thanks. I'm not really interested to know right now. No interest in this.
Agent Harry: Oh, but I think that's common among most people I meet. Which is why I want to help you, and share with you the potential benefits. Basically, we help manage the money people put with us...(blah blah blah).
Mingmong: Its ok, because I think I would like to manage my own savings.
Agent Harry: Oh, but we will definitely offer you a better return than the bank.
Mingmong: No, I meant I would rather invest my money myself in stocks etc.
Agent Harry: Oh, but we have specialists who can actually help you do a good job with that.
Mingmong: Ya I know, but I think I rather try it out myself and learn.
Agent Harry: Oh, but don't you think you might end up with DISASTROUS results?
Mingmong: (irritated) Well, I think that's a risk I have to take if I want to learn. And I think with my work, I will have the relevant experience to do it myself. (a bit exaggerating here)
Agent Harry: Oh, err, if you don't mind sir, what will you be working as?
Mingmong: (heheh...I think she's gonna be speechless) I'm gonna be a Trader. (I deliberately stopped short of saying oil)
Agent Harry: Oh. Err. Hmm...
Mingmong: (Muahaha!) Ya, so as I said, I think I can apply what I do at work to my own money, so even if you can help, I still want to do it myself.
Agent Harry: Oh, ok then. *pause* Err, is it ok then if I add you to my birthday calendar? I will send you a card or give you a call on your birthday or something.
Mingmong: (damn!) Alright. My birthday is XXXXXX.
So, typically, Agent Harry always wants to date you, Agent Harry loves to 'help' strangers as they claim, and the love to call you back again. Most importantly, they know how to talk. So, I have decided that I should be more prepared for the next cold call I'm gonna receive from Agent Harry, or maybe if he ambushes me outside the MRT station.
This is how I think I will reply their commonly used phrases, and hope they will give up...
If they try to date you...
Agent Harry: Can I meet up with you to share with you more about what I do? I just need 30 minutes of your time. No obligations at all, just need a little of your time over a drink.
Mingmong: Har...Where got 30 minutes? I need to bathe and change, already 30 minutes. Then I take bus and mrt down from my house to town another 1 hour. Then meet you 30 minutes. Then take mrt and bus home 1 hour again. Then give another 30 minutes miscellaneous admin like go toilet, altogether 4 hours leh. Too long la.
Agent Harry: (assuming he counters me) Oh, I can meet you closer to your house, then you don't have to travel so much.
Mingmong: Har....since you come closer to my house, then might as well come my house la.
Agent Harry: That's great, so I'll meet you at your house then?
Mingmong: No la...I say you come my house fetch me go out la. You say meet for drink, then you think you come my house I give you drink meh. Where got such thing? You ask me out for drink of course you buy me drink la!
Agent Harry: Oh, ok. I might not have a car available to fetch you.
Mingmong: You dunno how to take cab ah.
Agent Harry: (starting to think he damn lugi, but instructor say must persevere, tough customer also must lun4) Oh, ok. I'll come pick you tomorrow then and we'll go to Tampines Mall for a drink?
Mingmong: Eh dey, what Tampines Mall? I thought drink means drink alcohol? Go pub or what la. Say first, must open bottle one.
Agent Harry: (siao liao la! but bo pian, must lun!) Ok, tomorrow night we go Harry's ok? I can tell you more over drinks.
Mingmong: Steady la!
(at the pub...)
Mingmong: Eh, we must drink first then talk. You all always entertain clients, sure good drinker right? Come! I drink one you drink two. Bo tah bo lam pah.
Agent Harry: (lun. lun. lun.) Ok, cheers.
1 hour later, Agent Harry is drunk. Mingmong zhao go home and sleep.
If they try to "help" you...
Agent Harry: I want to help you. There are people who realise they are in need of money but have no insurance coverage. / I want to help you. You can put aside $50 with me each month instead of spending it without even knowing it. I am helping you to save for the future because I think people don't have a habit of saving...etc (and what ever help save the world shit...)
Mingmong: Wah, you practising for Mr/Miss Universe Q&A ah. You should say world peace la. You say so much, confuse the judges only. They like only 2 word answers then the let you win liao. Next time just say world peace!
Agent Harry: No no sir, I truly want to help you. I believe in my company's products and I feel its good for people. At least I share with you and inform you of how it can help you...(blah blah blah)
Mingmong: Wahhh...so noble ah. Ok la, since you just want to help people, means like volunteer worker la! Its hard to find people these days who are willing to help people and not reap any benefit. Ok la, I better not waste your time, I think more people need your help. I go find another guy to buy. You helping people not for the commission, so you better go talk to those who don't want to buy. I give someone else the commission to someone else la.
Agent Harry: Oh, no no sir, its ok, I can help you too. Don't need to look for someone else. Let me serve you.
Mingmong: Orh, ok la, since I'm talking to you already. But then now I got no time la, why not you type out everything you need to say then you send to me. When I free then I read la ok? Ok byebye.
And if they try to call you back...
Agent Harry: Can I call you back maybe at the end of August to see how you are?
Mingmong: Cannnnnnnn! Send me all your contact numbers ok! So I can call you if I need help also.
Agent Harry: Great!
Mingmong gets the numbers, save in his contact list. When the number calls, kup the phone.
Or...
Agent Harry: Can I add you to my birthday calandar and send you a card or give you a call on your birthday?
Mingmong: Cannnnn! But I don't want a call, nor a card, I want a present. I am currently in need of an iPod.
Agent Harry: Oh, err I'm sorry but its company policy not to send gifts to clients.
Mingmong: Liddat ah...ok lorrr. Too bad then.
Agent Harry: Ok so when is your birthday?
Mingmong: 29 Febuary 1981. Do send me all your contact numbers so I can contact you if I need help in future.
Agent Harry: Sure, thanks alot!
And as usual, save the numbers, kup the phone if they call.
Anyway, I have some friends who have decided to go into this industry (this is not a direct attack at you guys!), and I told them not to preach to me about their products, and that I will look for them when I want it. If anyone of you is in this line, don't look for me either. Since I have people I know doing this, what for give strangers the business right? So dear friends who sell insurance or do financial planning or whatever, so long as you're Agent Harry, don't be angry. This is just for fun la. I will still give you some biz. Mingmong _ c r a p p e d _ @ 8:32 PM |
