Agent Harry
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Insurance agents, the bane of the mingmongster. In recent weeks, I've had a couple of cold calls from these agents trying to sell me their stuff. Somehow, they seem to have a knack for calling at times when I most do not want them to. For example, I received a call while I was overseas, thus paying IDD, or calling me when I am sleeping which is definitely the WORST time to do so. And the problem with these guys is that they just do not know how to put down the phone. And the problem with me is that I am nice, so I try my best to get them to put down the phone without me directly asking them to get lost. The result is that nice people like me lose, and they talk longer and longer and longer. Therefore, I think I need to devise a way to get them off my back, at the shortest time possible, but at the same time, trying to be tactful.
Somehow, I suspect that all new insurance agent wannabies are put through a boot camp, where they are taught how to talk non-stop, undergo a skin graft (to make their skin as thick as possible), and learn the art of stalking (aka pestering/harrying). So these new Agent Harrys (as I call them for their unrelenting harrying methods), fresh from boot camp, eager to become Prince Harry or even the King of all the Harrys, are the most petrifying of its kind. Their favourite hunting grounds are the MRT stations. They camp outside the entrances, eyeing the crowd for potential victims who would willingly put their pen to paper and sign their moolah away.
In a recent article I read, Agent Harry, along with the property agents or car salesmen, rank among the most disliked professionals among people. I suppose Agent Harry knew that they aren't very well liked in society, and that means less people want to become Agent Harry, so they decided its time to give themselves a better name. They gave themselves a new moniker, Financial Planners. So when they introduce themselves to people, they might go "wooooo" or "ahhhh". But of course, once you know that they are actually Agent Harry under a guise, we stay clear of them anyway.
Agent Harry has the same tactics all the time, which is why I suspect they all undergo a centralised training. Agent Harry says the same things all the time, no matter what company they come from.
There was this Agent Harry who called me up in Europe, and I told him I am overseas, so I couldn't talk. He asked when I would be back. I told him. He said he'll call me back again. When I came back on Thursday night, he called me the following Monday morning, when I was asleep. Nevertheless, I still tried to be nice. And these are some of the things you should never say to Agent Harry, because they are prepared to counter it...
Mingmong: I'm sorry, but I'm not really interested in insurance at the moment. I don't really want to think about it at this time.
Agent Harry: Oh, that's the problem I think most people have. They don't really have an interest about insurance, and they don't think about it until they need it. I have a client who didn't buy insurance, but then he suddenly got ill and found that he needed insurance coverage, but by then it was too late.
Mingmong: (nabey, you cursing me so early in the morning ah) Errr, ya but then I have a policy that my Dad took out for me already.
Agent Harry: Oh, what type of policy is that may I know?
Mingmong: Life. I think.
Agent Harry: Oh, a life policy only covers a loss of life or disability...(blah blah blah). There are many other policies available especially for someone of your age.
Mingmong: (Still trying to get him to give up) Err...ok but I am have not started earning yet, so I think I want to wait till I earn a proper income first, before I get my own policies.
Agent Harry: Oh, I see. When do you start work?
Mingmong: August
Agent Harry: Oh, in that case, why not we meet up and allow me to share with you more about insurance first? No obligations at all. I just need 30 minutes of your time.
Mingmong: (irritated) Sorry, but I am not interested in knowing about insurance since I am not thinking of getting any at the moment, maybe next time.
Agent Harry: Ohh, I see. But I think that's the problem with most people. They are not really informed about what insurance is about...(blah blah blah). Would it be ok if you spare me just 30 minutes, we sit down for a drink and I just share with you. I just want to help you since you were recommended to me by you friend.
Mingmong: (makes mental note: tell all friends not to ever give my number to Agent Harry, otherwise they will use that against me) Nah, its ok. I don't really know when I will be free. I have a lot lined up over the next few days. Anyway, I also have friends who are in this line. I think I can approach them if I need anything.
Agent Harry: Oh, may I know what company your friends are from?
Mingmong: P*********
Agent Harry: Oh, but its ok, since your friend recommend you to me, I can help you as well.
Mingmong: (makes mental note: kill that friend) Ok, but I think I AM REALLY not interested at this point of time. Maybe later on when I am financially stable, and I find the need for it, then I will consider this (and I was thinking maybe 1 year later).
Agent Harry: Oh, ok. That would be fine. You start work in August am I right?
Mingmong: Yes.
Agent Harry: Ok, then is it ok if I call you at the end of August just to see how you are doing?
Mingmong: (Pengz! I give up!) Okok. Anything la.
Agent Harry: Ok thanks Eu Ming. I will sms you my mobile number, and this is my office number. If you have any queries regarding this, do feel free to call me anytime.
Mingmong: Ok. Bye.
That's just an excerpt of the main conversation. But it did go on for at least 20 minutes. Never has anyone asked me out for a "date" again immediately after I've just rejected them. I wonder if they are also this aggressive when it comes to chasing girls.
Just to prove my point that Agent Harry says the same things, uses the same tactics all the time, this is another conversation with Agent Harry. This time it is a girl, and I was awake, and more prepared. She said similar things to me, though they're from different companies. This time Agent Harry said she was in Wealth Management, another new "professionally" coined moniker that recently emerged. Same Agent Harry, just different product. This one's more investment based.
Mingmong: You're trying to sell me insurance right?
Agent Harry: Oh, no no. Its not the same. What we do in wealth management is to help people manage their money and offer them attractive returns as well.
Mingmong: Sorry but I am not working yet, so I have no funds to offer you.
Agent Harry: Oh, when do you start work?
Mingmong: Soon. In August.
Agent Harry: Oh, I see. But would you like to meet up for a coffee, and I can share with you more about what I do?
Mingmong: Erm, no thanks. I'm not really interested to know right now. No interest in this.
Agent Harry: Oh, but I think that's common among most people I meet. Which is why I want to help you, and share with you the potential benefits. Basically, we help manage the money people put with us...(blah blah blah).
Mingmong: Its ok, because I think I would like to manage my own savings.
Agent Harry: Oh, but we will definitely offer you a better return than the bank.
Mingmong: No, I meant I would rather invest my money myself in stocks etc.
Agent Harry: Oh, but we have specialists who can actually help you do a good job with that.
Mingmong: Ya I know, but I think I rather try it out myself and learn.
Agent Harry: Oh, but don't you think you might end up with DISASTROUS results?
Mingmong: (irritated) Well, I think that's a risk I have to take if I want to learn. And I think with my work, I will have the relevant experience to do it myself. (a bit exaggerating here)
Agent Harry: Oh, err, if you don't mind sir, what will you be working as?
Mingmong: (heheh...I think she's gonna be speechless) I'm gonna be a Trader. (I deliberately stopped short of saying oil)
Agent Harry: Oh. Err. Hmm...
Mingmong: (Muahaha!) Ya, so as I said, I think I can apply what I do at work to my own money, so even if you can help, I still want to do it myself.
Agent Harry: Oh, ok then. *pause* Err, is it ok then if I add you to my birthday calendar? I will send you a card or give you a call on your birthday or something.
Mingmong: (damn!) Alright. My birthday is XXXXXX.
So, typically, Agent Harry always wants to date you, Agent Harry loves to 'help' strangers as they claim, and the love to call you back again. Most importantly, they know how to talk. So, I have decided that I should be more prepared for the next cold call I'm gonna receive from Agent Harry, or maybe if he ambushes me outside the MRT station.
This is how I think I will reply their commonly used phrases, and hope they will give up...
If they try to date you...
Agent Harry: Can I meet up with you to share with you more about what I do? I just need 30 minutes of your time. No obligations at all, just need a little of your time over a drink.
Mingmong: Har...Where got 30 minutes? I need to bathe and change, already 30 minutes. Then I take bus and mrt down from my house to town another 1 hour. Then meet you 30 minutes. Then take mrt and bus home 1 hour again. Then give another 30 minutes miscellaneous admin like go toilet, altogether 4 hours leh. Too long la.
Agent Harry: (assuming he counters me) Oh, I can meet you closer to your house, then you don't have to travel so much.
Mingmong: Har....since you come closer to my house, then might as well come my house la.
Agent Harry: That's great, so I'll meet you at your house then?
Mingmong: No la...I say you come my house fetch me go out la. You say meet for drink, then you think you come my house I give you drink meh. Where got such thing? You ask me out for drink of course you buy me drink la!
Agent Harry: Oh, ok. I might not have a car available to fetch you.
Mingmong: You dunno how to take cab ah.
Agent Harry: (starting to think he damn lugi, but instructor say must persevere, tough customer also must lun4) Oh, ok. I'll come pick you tomorrow then and we'll go to Tampines Mall for a drink?
Mingmong: Eh dey, what Tampines Mall? I thought drink means drink alcohol? Go pub or what la. Say first, must open bottle one.
Agent Harry: (siao liao la! but bo pian, must lun!) Ok, tomorrow night we go Harry's ok? I can tell you more over drinks.
Mingmong: Steady la!
(at the pub...)
Mingmong: Eh, we must drink first then talk. You all always entertain clients, sure good drinker right? Come! I drink one you drink two. Bo tah bo lam pah.
Agent Harry: (lun. lun. lun.) Ok, cheers.
1 hour later, Agent Harry is drunk. Mingmong zhao go home and sleep.
If they try to "help" you...
Agent Harry: I want to help you. There are people who realise they are in need of money but have no insurance coverage. / I want to help you. You can put aside $50 with me each month instead of spending it without even knowing it. I am helping you to save for the future because I think people don't have a habit of saving...etc (and what ever help save the world shit...)
Mingmong: Wah, you practising for Mr/Miss Universe Q&A ah. You should say world peace la. You say so much, confuse the judges only. They like only 2 word answers then the let you win liao. Next time just say world peace!
Agent Harry: No no sir, I truly want to help you. I believe in my company's products and I feel its good for people. At least I share with you and inform you of how it can help you...(blah blah blah)
Mingmong: Wahhh...so noble ah. Ok la, since you just want to help people, means like volunteer worker la! Its hard to find people these days who are willing to help people and not reap any benefit. Ok la, I better not waste your time, I think more people need your help. I go find another guy to buy. You helping people not for the commission, so you better go talk to those who don't want to buy. I give someone else the commission to someone else la.
Agent Harry: Oh, no no sir, its ok, I can help you too. Don't need to look for someone else. Let me serve you.
Mingmong: Orh, ok la, since I'm talking to you already. But then now I got no time la, why not you type out everything you need to say then you send to me. When I free then I read la ok? Ok byebye.
And if they try to call you back...
Agent Harry: Can I call you back maybe at the end of August to see how you are?
Mingmong: Cannnnnnnn! Send me all your contact numbers ok! So I can call you if I need help also.
Agent Harry: Great!
Mingmong gets the numbers, save in his contact list. When the number calls, kup the phone.
Or...
Agent Harry: Can I add you to my birthday calandar and send you a card or give you a call on your birthday?
Mingmong: Cannnnn! But I don't want a call, nor a card, I want a present. I am currently in need of an iPod.
Agent Harry: Oh, err I'm sorry but its company policy not to send gifts to clients.
Mingmong: Liddat ah...ok lorrr. Too bad then.
Agent Harry: Ok so when is your birthday?
Mingmong: 29 Febuary 1981. Do send me all your contact numbers so I can contact you if I need help in future.
Agent Harry: Sure, thanks alot!
And as usual, save the numbers, kup the phone if they call.
Anyway, I have some friends who have decided to go into this industry (this is not a direct attack at you guys!), and I told them not to preach to me about their products, and that I will look for them when I want it. If anyone of you is in this line, don't look for me either. Since I have people I know doing this, what for give strangers the business right? So dear friends who sell insurance or do financial planning or whatever, so long as you're Agent Harry, don't be angry. This is just for fun la. I will still give you some biz.
Mingmong _ c r a p p e d _ @ 8:32 PM |
Europe Roundup - Amsterdam
Sunday, July 24, 2005
To continue from the previous roundup, the next place we went was Amsterdam.
Amsterdam is a special place in this world where prostitution and drugs are commonplace, and very legal. I find it funny how the people and government of Amsterdam can actually accept and legalise prostitution and drugs to the extent that they actually seem quite proud it. Souvenirs commonly depict porn or grass, you have sex museums, cannabis museums, and whatever museums to do with sex and drugs.
I mean...even their national monument is a phallic-like obelisk.
And once we walked out of our hostel, abt 50 metres later, we found...
I deliberately resized the picture to smaller than usual, in case the under-aged readers are able to see the details in the background. Also, in case I am guilty of putting up pornography. Ha. And as you can tell, Gary really loves those stuff...
Well, we definitely did not do drugs, and we didn't even drink in Amsterdam. Its funny that we were in Amsterdam, where most people go to party, that we just didn't do what Amsterdam is all about. We did take a walk one night through the red-light district where all the "fish tanks" were. The area is actually quite organised and the girls seem to be segregated along different streets based on age, ethnicity, looks etc. For example, we would walk along one street where all the gals are fairly hot, then turn around the block and we're looking at older women. Or we check out the asian chicks and then suddenly the next street are the big gals. Best of all, you can bargain. Heh. Also, as I walked along the streets, some guy will come up to me and ask if I want cocaine. Naturally, I declined. But he was nice, he walked with me and talked a little, and he even knew how to speak some Mandarin (not just the standard "ni hao").
There wasn't much that we did in Amsterdam actually. On the day we arrived, we dumped our bags in the hostel and took the train out to the countryside. We went to this town called Zaandam, where we could find the windmills. There is also Keukenhof, which hosts the world's largest garden of flowers. Too bad we missed the flower season by a couple of weeks. The place only opens during the flower season between March and May. Nevertheless, Zaandam also has its charms. An old, quaint town with windmills by the river and farms. Definitely better than Amsterdam itself I feel.
So basically, this is what Zaandam is all about...
The windmills in the background...
Then we went to this small farmhouse that makes cheese...and I took the opportunity to take a photo with 2 Dutch milkmaids. Hot milkmaids.
And played with the farm animals...I tried feeding the ducks some of my milkshake...
Cute little duck seemed to love it...and wanted more..
But somehow, they seemed more interested in Huijing. The birds, the ducks, the whatever, all kept flocking to her. And Huijing was rather terrified of them, so she stayed on the bench...
Then, when the ducks were distracted, she would run across to the bench on the other side to take cover, but somehow, the ducks and birds just followed her there and stood below the bench, watching her, stalking her...
Soon, the ducks got a little more bold and tried flying close to her, possibly trying to kiss her...
That's when Huijing panicked...
She stood on the bench and refused to come down...
Gary and I decided we finally know why she always gets the animals during mahjong... because she has a natural ability to attact animals, alive ...or tiled.
After watching Huijing being chased by farm animals, we went by the river, lay down beside it, and slept. Shiok. Refreshing.
So anyway, that was it with the countryside, and it was back to the city. The next day, we set out to see the main touristy stuff in Amsterdam. First up, the sex museum. Its like a museum of porn, but in a rather academic kind of way. There are pictures depicting all kinds of human fantasies, and they try to explain what and why these "ideas"/"acts" come about. Then there's this section where they have a collection of porn photographs dating all the way back to the early 1900s or earlier I think. Like a history of porn. Kaoz. Then they're also those crappy stuff like sexual ornaments and stuff. I was quite surprised the girls didn't feel grossed out la. Cos some of the stuff really quite gross la. Like 47cm "Long Dong Silver" I mentioned before.
Just an example of the crap they had inside...
Long Dong Mong, at your service...
Then there was this special chair. When you sit on it, and lean back against the back rest, this thing under the chair starts poking ur ass area from beneath the seat cover. Then we decided to play a prank on the gals. We told Huijing to take a picture with us at the seat (which just looks like an ordinary seat in a resting area), then we made her sit on the "special" one while we sat beside her, then Gary and I put our arms around her back and pushed the back rest. Well what happened next was...
Huijing: "OH MY GOD!"
And she jumped out of the seat. Then she decided to have another go at it. (I wonder why). With her happy meal box in her hand. She looked kinda happy.
Next target was Jiawei. But she already suspected something was amiss so the mission failed. She tried figuring out what was wrong with the chair, looking up, down, left, right, above, under etc...so in the end we told her the secret. Then she decided to give it a go. And somehow, there was no "oh my god" unlike HJ, but she jus sat there thinking, and smiling, and she really did sit there for a while. Ha.
So anyway, that's that. Then, we went around Amsterdam on bicycles. Most of the pple there travel with their bikes. There are special lanes catered just for bikes. Well, HJ somehow always seems to be in the thick of the action. She's not really a good cyclist and somewhere along the way, she buanged, and broke her fall with her chin. Poor girl. Heh.
We went to the Heineken brewery. Walked through the place for a history of the beer and stuff. And also had the beer too, all included in the trip.
I think the nicest part of the whole Heineken Experience was the Heineken bar.
Nice decor with the lighting and the Heineken bottles behind the bar... I think its similar to the one that was in the advertisement.
Then, we also had a picnic lunch in the park, Vondelpark, biggest park in the city if I am not wrong. We kinda got accustomed to slacking around in parks and any patch of grass we see. Somehow, just didn't feel like walking and seeing and walking and seeing, prefering to take it slow.
This is just one of the many 5 main canals that runs across the city of Amsterdam...
This is the typical street around the area too...
So basically, that's it for me in Amsterdam. 2 days. Half of it spent in Zaandam, and the rest in the city just selectively browsing through the sights. Unless you're there for some hardcore stuff, I guess 2 days is sufficient.
And then we hopped on board a train to Berlin to meet Alex...
And on board the train we played Texas Hold'em! An American who stayed in our room taught us the game which is "really big in the US". And, I found that it is the only game I can actually win money from HJ. Ha.
Ok..that's all for now....
Mingmong _ c r a p p e d _ @ 4:46 PM |
For those who believe in luck
Saturday, July 23, 2005
If you believe in luck and want one of those 4-leaf clover thinggies, my friends shop is at the Concourse along Beach Road. If its too inaccessible, you can visit the website at
www.julieroberts.com.sg
Here's some free advertising for you Josh. =)
P/S: My mahjong kakis will be turned away. There can only be one 4-leaf clover on the mahjong table. And it would be mine. Heh.
Mingmong _ c r a p p e d _ @ 12:19 AM |
Redang
Friday, July 22, 2005
Just got back from a dive trip to Redang last night. Redang is definitely a better place to dive than Tioman. The visibility was very good, at least 12-15 metres at times, and there are loads to see. I saw more stuff in a single dive than the 7 dives I had in Tioman. In the first dive alone, the moment I descended into the water, the dive master pointed out a black-tip shark to us.
The trip was fun apart from the diving. We talked crap, relaxed by the beach, played cards (and I realised that Hearts is actually a damn fun game), sang karoke (since its free) and slept (my favourite pasttime). The food was edible, but since its free, I shan't complain, and since there wasn't any other alternative source of food (unless I go fishing) I had no choice. We stayed at Redang Kalong Resort. Not too bad, but nothing compared to the reknown Laguna Resort where Xia Ri Mo Mo Cha was filmed. Huijing and gang arrived there 1 day after me, and I walked over to check it out. The beach was somehow nicer than the one outside my room, even though it was jus the beach next to ours. Pay more, get more I suppose.
The only downside of the trip was the bus ride up and down. 10 hours there, 12 hours back. The ride there was overnight, and I was expecting to sleep my way through it, only to find that it was impossible. The bus had the most screwed up suspension. Each time I find myself slipping into a slumber, I would be jolted out of my sleep by a bump, or I would just find myself airborne for half a second. The way back was just as bad, but I think I was too shacked out that I KO-ed the moment the bus moved off. Slept quite soundly despite being in oscillatory mode. Some kid in front of me puked halfway too. Sian 1/2. The funny thing is, both buses were different. Conclusion? Never take buses from Enjoy (the bus company). Enjoy? Enjoy what? Maybe they should rename their company, call themselves "Suffer", maybe.
Also, the sea got the better of me this time. We took a small little speed boat out to the dive sites and each time I got out of the water from the dive, climbed up the boat, my stomach would give way and I would feed the fishes. The waters were quite choppy and with the boat anchored, it would just sway side-to-side, and a small boat makes it worse.
Anyway, some pictures to show the beauties of the underwater world.
First of all... Me. Ha.
Alright, kidding. Here's Josh and I fooling around.
Upclose shot of a sea anemone
And the Nemos found in it. They're apparently very friendly...
A Moray Eel. It bites.
Met my childhood sweetheart, Ariel,
and her friend Sebastian too...
A huge school of fish (not decide whether they are fusiliers or snappers) which we swam beside. Found quite a few hundred of them hanging around the reef, so we swam behind/beside them, like herding sheep.
A huge turtle. Find them amazingly cute...despite their age.
See...so cute!
And many, many more...just don't want a picture overload cos I noticed my blog is becoming more like a picture book, especially with my heavy picture posts of Europe coming up.
Once again, whatever I typed disappeared because of a blackout in the house. I was just about to hit the publish button when the lights just went out. Sian half.
Off for a jog with my sis. Bet she's gonna whip my ass at it.
Mingmong _ c r a p p e d _ @ 11:04 PM |
NKF - Mingmong version
Sunday, July 17, 2005
The story that has been the talk of the town for the past week has been the dispute between Singapore Por-c Hua (SPH) and the Never-ending Kitty of Funds (NKF).
The main characters of this National Kidney Fiasco are:
T.T. Dulan - Disgruntled by people snooping around his private toilet, he decides to take them to court. Also an afficionado of toilet fittings and gold. Famously known as "the man who never flies first class".
Darth Vinder Singh - The powerful "dark" lord who has sentenced one too many high profile characters to their downfall. A cunning linguist, he withers his victims down slowly till they yield to him.
Prior to the hearing, reporter of the Mingmongster, Ming monster, had an interview with our protagonists...
Ming monster: Hi Mr T.T. Dulan, would you mind if I ask you a few questions?
T.T. Dulan: Sure!
Ming monster: Ok. Firstly, what...
T.T. Dulan: First? No I don't fly first class.
Ming monster: ?!?! Err...ok...what do you think of your chances in winning this case?
T.T. Dulan: I am very confident of winning. I have a first class lawyer to help me with this. Opps. Wait. I didn't say first class did I? I never fly first class.
Ming monster: What about the gold plated tap? What do you have to say about that?
T.T. Dulan: Firstly, it was within the guidelines set by the Board. Secondly...wait. I didn't say first did I? I never fly first class.
Ming monster: Err...okayy. I guess we should stop here. Thank you very much Mr Dulan.
T.T. Dulan: Not a problem. If you need me, just call me at 1900-112-6868. Anytime. If you hear an operator, it means I'm not in, but just keep calling till I pick up the phone. *wink*
Ming monster: Ok. Thanks. Oh, by the way, too bad you don't fly first class. The service is really good and the flight attendents, whoa, they're usually the young and hot ones!
T.T. Dulan: Oh yes yes! I totally agree! The service is simply impeccable. And, I usually drink wine like nobody's business. But one thing I feel airlines should improve in the first class area is their toilets. I mean, we deserve better toilets. Maybe a gold plated sink or something.
Ming monster: Oh...but I thought you never fly first class?
T.T. Dulan: (turns to his lawyer) He knows too much. I want him in c0urt too.
*
Ming monster: Mr Singh, would you spare me a few moments of your time?
Darth Vinder: Sure!
Ming monster: What do you think of your chances against Mr T.T. Dulan?
Darth Vinder: T.T.? No, sorry I don't drive the Audi TT.
Ming monster: No, I said what do you think of your chances against Mr Dulan?
Darth Vinder: *adjusts his helmet* Oh, I'm sorry. Sometimes I tie my helmet too low that it covers my ears. Yes, about the case, I have confidence in breaking Mr Dulan just like I have with all my other victims, such as Mr Cheep Soon Kuay.
Ming monster: Do you have a different approach to this case?
Darth Vinder: Nope. Same as always, I will use my famous TTTTTT tactic.
Ming monster: TTTTTT?
Darth Vinder: Haven't you watch Toyko Raiders before? They introduced a drug called TTTTT: Till They Tell The Truth. But I went one T further. I don't use drugs (otherwise I will get hanged), I just Talk Till They Tell The Truth.
Ming monster: Wasn't that a chinese/cantonese movie?
Darth Vinder: Eh why? Singh cannot understand chinese isit? Even Gurmit Singh can speak chinese. *Makes heavy breathing noise*
Ming monster: Oh no no, I didn't mean that. Well, all the best to you Mr Singh.
Darth Vinder: Thank you.
*
The trial was a heated affair. Both Dulan and Darth Vinder engaging each other with their oral skills. Darth Vinder was in the driver's seat, taking the more active role, trying to penetrate Dulan's defences. Dulan tried to respond to each and every move Darth Vinder had but Darth Vinder was always on top of him, lapping up everything that came out of Dulan's mouth and shooting more attacks back at him. Darth Vinder got more aggressive and thrusted more at Dulan. The trial reached a climax when Dulan finally came...to his senses and slumped back into his chair, spent. Dulan was visibly worn out by the oral prowess of Darth Vinder. He then decided he could not meet Darth Vinder's request for more...answers, and so he relented and decided to come clean.
*
Revelations of Dulan's remuneration package shocked the people. Let's examine the public sentiment with regards to this earth-moving piece of news...
Ming monster: *walks over to the nearby kopitiam* Err...Uncle ah, can I ask you a question regarding the NKF issue?
Uncle: *puts down his mug of beer* Cannnn...no problem. *hic*
Ming monster: What do you think about the salary the Mr Dulan is receiving?
Uncle: *takes another sip of his beer, looking dissatisfied* Umm... Peanuts.
Ming monster: !?!? Peanuts?
Uncle: Ya, I need more peanuts to eat, can help me take?
Ming monster: *deadpans*
*
The trial has since ended with Darth Vinder victorious once again and the NKF waving the white flag and retreating. But questions still remain in the minds of the people, many of whom feel cheated and misled into donating to a worthy cause.
The NKF, does it really Need King-like Facilities in its toilets? Was our sympathy and empathy for the needy a fallacy that caused us to Naively Keep Funding the NKF's call for donations? Or was it those National Kindness Facades that they show on television that cajole us to pick up the phones to dial that all too familiar number (which even a person who never donated (eg. me) would know that number by heart)? Among those who railed against the "Non-profit-making Kidney Foundation, it would probably be the poor who feel the most injustice. A man who earned $1000 a month could have donated $50 to the Never-ending Kitty of Funds, only to find that the good people over there have Nipped Kidney Funds for their personal benefit. As a result, the donations from the public will fall and penalise the kidney patients. These patients now need a new NKF, they Need Kind Forbearance from the public to continue donating to their cause. However, with no more trust in the organisation, not all donors would be able to bear such cognitive dissonance. Fortunately, the Never-ending Kitty of Funds seems to be enough for more than a decade as revealed, and it is unlikely that the fall in donations will be a short-term problem.
Personally, I still prefer to see who my money goes to. I say, why not help the needy who do not have the fortune of having media publicity to help garner donations. For example, that blind man selling tissue in hawker centres or that old lady collecting cans from rubbish bins. In contrast, the blind man singing in the Orchard underpass is probably getting enough money from passerbys over the years. The old man selling towels in Chinatown with 2 retarded kids also had some media coverage to improve his income. Thus, I prefer to divert my donations to those who get less of the pie.
*
After the stepping down of the Board and the CEO, the staff of the NKF cried. One would wonder why they responded in a way that was so different from that of the public. The Ming monster decided to investigate this phenomena...
Ming monster: Excuse me auntie, why you so sad ah? Everyone asking for them to step down but you and your colleagues seem to want them to stay.
Auntie 1: *sobs* Aiyah, boss go already, no more nice toilet to use la!
*
Ming monster: Excuse me auntie, you in-charge of cleaning toilet right? Why you also so sad ah? Now no boss to make you shine his toilet bowl already you should be happy what.
Auntie 2: *Wails* Aiyah, I still haven't finish scrapping off all the gold from his tap la!
*
DISCLAIMER
Characters in this post are all fictional. Any similarities or resemblances to real-life people or names are intentional, but with no defamatory, calumnious, nor pejorative intent. Readers should read at their own discretion and should bear in mind that the content was written purely for entertainment and humour, and real-life people bearing any semblance to these fictional characters should be held in a good light.
*
Ok, just had to be sure I included that in case I become the next talk of the town with a visit to court.
Mingmong _ c r a p p e d _ @ 11:07 PM |
Convocation
Friday, July 15, 2005
The past few days have been quite packed for me. So glad I can stay home and slack today. If I am so tired just by going out each day, I wonder how I'll survive when I start work. *shudders*
On Tuesday, I went down to my future office to get my contract signed. Finally settled all the administrative procedures and now all I have to do is sit and wait till 15 August when I officially step into the corporate world. Caught Initial D after that. Now I know what the fuss is all about. Jay Chou, Edison, Shawn Yue for the gals, fast cars for the guys. But then, don't you all think the whole show is just a super long Jay Chou MTV? Also, I think in the next few months, there will be an increase the number of road accidents as many people will be trying to drive like Jay Chou. Left hand on the stering wheel, right hand supporting the head and resting on the door. Tried it already. Ha. And being a right-hander, I can't control the car as well with the left hand. Nevertheless, I think the show was entertaining enough, though they really could have chosen a better looking female lead.
Wednesday. Convocation day. The ceremony was what I expected it to be: Boring. Just sat there waiting for my 3 seconds of fame on stage. The pro-chancellor for my session was Wee Cho Yaw. Unfortunately, I didn't get to shake his hand. With my surname being Lim, I was the 303rd person to go up on stage that morning and somewhere around the 200s, I think he started to get quite shack, so I think he asked someone to take over.
My main motive for going was to take pictures. After the ceremony, everyone was busy doing that. Or rather, most people were busy doing that. Others were, however, attacking the food at the reception upstairs, which I didn't even know existed. When I finally did find out that there was a reception, all the food was gone. Didn't get to take many pictures in the end because some people rushed off to take pictures with their family around the school (smtg which I don't seem to fathom), and others were just hidden in the sea of people. The main reason was because they split the whole graduating class from NBS were split into 3 sessions in the day. So I didn't get to see those in Biz, and those in Acc whose surnames start with T and onwards. Also, I was using the new Sony Cybershot. The camera is great, high res and huge screen and all. BUT, the images are blurred with the slightest movement when taking a picture. And when you get pple to take a picture for you, sometimes, they don't do it right and it doesn't come out well, while others just can't keep their hands steady. So I think when it comes to digital cameras, Canon is still the best.
Decided to ditch the traditional white shirt and go for a more unconventional purple one for the day.
Purple shirt, purple tie and to top it off, purple rubberbands on my braces. Ha. Wasn't really planned when I went to the dentist on Monday. But once I pulled on my shirt and tie and looked in the mirror, I realised it matched! Ok out of point.
Anyway, some of the pictures I took...
Me and Gavin. Smart joker who played in team NTU with me. Stuck my head behind his ass in scrums, while he sometimes cupped my ass in line-outs.
Me and Shuyi. I guess its out in the open now, so no harm saying that she is Mrs Gavin.
My FYP mates (the guys) and one of the top brains in school, Xunwen.
Mahjong kakis.
Alex and his teddy bear, and me.
Gaohan the brain.
Travel mates less Gary who is a Tan.
The Goddess of Gamblers, mahjong slayer, self-pick demon, and round tummied ice-cream and chocolate monster.
This is the only picture I took with the motar board on my head. You see that the girls are the ones with it on their heads because they pinned it to their hair.
We just HAD to take this picture of throwing the motar boards. I think after this picture, I finally understood why it is called a motar board, and not a hat, nor a helmet, nor a cap etc. It is because, when you throw the damn thing up in the air, it comes down like a motar bomb, and when it hits your head, good luck to u.
I AM actually in this picture. Just that my face is blocked by a hand. It doesn't pay to be tall. In future, when pictures are taken, short ones behind please.
And finally, Gary Tan. Waited till the next session so I could take a picture with him before he went in. And in typical Gary-fashion, he came fashionably late.
That night, we decided to go down to Zouk. Its been more than 4 months since I stepped in. I found that they reverted back to the old pricings where Phuture is a couple dollars more expensive than Zouk, thus pple entering through Zouk can't go into Phuture but not vice versa. Which is great cos I think that lessened the crowd in Phuture, though its still too packed. And once again, I derived no pleasure from the night out. I think I am really past it. Its time for a switch to a new environment that better suits me. Maybe next time it will be Velvet, or as Alex suggests, Balaclava, which does look quite happening from the outside. Gone are the times where dancing and trying to get drunk seemed like fun. I think now I just wanna sit down, have a drink and relax friends. Chill out, so to speak.
Thursday. Went to meet Josh to get my dive equipment. Will be going to Redang on Monday to dive. Decided to invest in my own equipment since I expect to be taking this up as a leisure activity in future. Spent quite a bit on a wet suit, mask, snorkel, fin, booties and sausage. Feel the pinch man. Think I am gonna go bankrupt before I even start work at the rate I'm going.
Josh brought me to his Dad's shop as well. His dad's place sells gifts and ornamental stuff. Their most popular items has been the 4-leaf clover collection for the past 2 years or so. As we all know, the 4-leaf clover is supposed to bring you luck. In the car, Josh was telling me how many of the people who bought the 4-leaf clover items came back to tell his dad that they struck 4-D or toto. There was even a woman who struck 1st, 2nd and 3rd prize 3 times each in 4-D. And many more testimonials. Well, I found it hard to believe actually.
Anyway, I went to his shop and on the way there, an insurance agent called me again to push her products. I shall go into this some other time, but if just for the record, I find insurance agents irritating. Anyway, I was on the phone, and I stepped into his dad's shop and decided to step back out to finish talking first before I could talk to Josh's dad. Then as I turned and walked back out, I notice something on the floor outside the shop. It was 2 folded $10 bills. WTF! Was what Josh said true?! So anyway, Josh showed me all the testimonials of the customers who struck 4-D and toto. They came back to the shop, took a photo with his dad and the shop and all. And it wasn't just 5 people. There was a STACK of A4 size testimonials, each with different people on it. It was probably about 20-30? Sounds too good to be true. Coincidence or does the legend really actually hold true? Anyway, I decided to use the $20 to get one of those 4-leaf clover stuff from the shop and also since Josh drove me around to get the cheap dive stuff, and also cos I hoped that maybe it would work against Huijing's mahjong prowess! So I got the handphone chain.
It costs $31 btw. Well, it is quite high for a handphone chain, but well, it has a reall 4-leaf clover in it. Not something you will find in Singapore. And since I found $20 outside his dad's shop, I should just "give it back". Well, about its mystical powers, I don't know if it exists, neither do I actually believe in it, but I did put it to a test. I played mahjong last night and I still lost. But then, Alex says, maybe it did help, it helped me lose less. *Deadpans*
Anyway, they didn't start selling this because of the superstition thing. They only started collecting testimonials when they realised there were quite a lot of people coming back to tell them about their winnings and introducing friends and all to them. Their shop is not in town or somewhere prominent, proves that the power of word of mouth is indeed a KSF to any successful business. Anyway, let's see if my luck changes.
Met up with my travel mates last night for dinner after getting my dive gear. Had a couple of hours to spare so I walked around Orchard. I deliberately went into Zara to check out the prices of the shirts I bought in Spain. I was pleased. Price in Singapore for their long-sleeved office shirts are $89.90 (though I thought it used to be $79, but oh well, all the better if its $89). Price I got mine in Spain: 29.90 euros, which works out to about $62 bucks or so. Heh. That's not all. Those I got on sale were 19.90 euros, although they are the previous season's collection, but still nice anyway. Talk about my shopping sprees when I talk about Spain next time.
However, I decided to walk into Kenneth Cole to just check out the belt prices too. Bought a KC belt from somewhere in Europe too (forgot where), and it was on sale. Got it for about SGD$50. Found that the belts here are twice the price. Ha. But then...went over to see the leather shoes and realised that the pair I bought before I left for my trip was on further reduction. Sigh.
After dinner with the guys, Alex, Huijing and I (eager to test my 4-leaf clover) adjourned to my place for mahjong. We picked up HJ's friend on the way since we're short of 1 ka. During mahjong, HJ's fren made a worrying revelation. She suddenly recalled an incident a while ago when she was on IRC. This guy came and tried to talk to her. Then he introduced himself as Jansen. Then he sent her pictures of HIMSELF. At that time, she already met me before cos we've played mj together a few times. So, she recognised the pictures this Jansen guy sent to her as ME. *STUNNED* I asked her how the photos looked like, and she said there was one where I was in a red T-shirt. So immediately I asked if I had gold hair. She said yes. Damn, it was my picture! Then she said, there was another he sent with me in the toilet. Damn, I knew that one too! The guy deinitely ripped them off my friendster profile. BLoody hell.
Then, she pressed him further for more details about himself, and he seemed to know stuff about me like I am from NBS and all, evidently he just took what ever minimal information he had from my friendster profile. As she pressed further, and asked if he was REALLY the person in the picture, he logged off. This is worrying. Someone using my picture to chat up gals! I don't even know a Jansen. Worst of all, he was on the NTU/NUS channel. Alex says someone is out to destroy me. Shuming (HJ's fren, the "victim") says someone is trying to sabo me. I say...he should not use such a ugly name as Jansen. Heh. Just kidding. But who ever goes onto IRC now? I always thought its dead. But this is serious. What if it was one of those guys who solicit sex on the Internet, and the girls are those who don't know me but see me in school or on the streets! OMG. IF anyone sends you my pictures, please get his number and arrange to meet him, and I will meet him personally.
AND...THOU SHALT NOT RIP ANY PICTURES FROM MY BLOG UNLESS AUTHORISED!
On a lighter note...You would think that girls are overwearing pink when you see this scene before you....
3 Girls, wearing a pink top and jeans in a row at a single ATM. There was actually another girl in pink top and jeans drawing money before I managed to whip out my camera, so that makes 4 girls in pink and jeans and withdrawing money from 1 single ATM at the 3rd floor of Wisma. Maybe its time to redo your wardrobe gals and guys(since guys are also into pink now)...pink is too IN to be IN in pink. So try why not try purple like me? Heh.
Ok enough for a day.
Mingmong _ c r a p p e d _ @ 4:23 PM |
Europe Roundup - Brussels
Monday, July 11, 2005
Bloody hell. I hate it when blogspot screws up and I have to retype everything. This one will certainly not have the same amount of enthusiasm.
Ok. From where I left off, I took a flight over to Brussels to meet the others after spending a week in the UK. I think I should first introduce each of them so I wouldn't have to point them out again in future.
First, Gary. The girls said that they thought of him as a serious person on first impression. Confident in his work, "zai", hardworking etc. But now they have revised their impression of him. In fact, it only took Peishan and Huijing 1 day to change their minds. Gary IS full of shit. 90% of the stuff that comes out of his mouth is rubbish. But of course it adds to the fun.
Next, Alex. Think I have talked about enough for me to leave out the introductory description. But there's one mystery about Alex which bugs me... He shits every day...but why he still so full of shit?
Huijing. Yes, the one who constantly milks me dry on the mahjong table. We found out her secret during the trip. Chocolates. All gambling fans know that the God of Gamblers, Gao Jun (Chow Yuen Fatt for those who dunno), loves chocolates. Huijing stuffs herself with chocolates everyday. Even if its not chocolates, she still has sweets, ice-cream, or nutella, or anything sweet she can lay her hands on. She eats so much sugar a day, we actually wonder where it all goes inside of her. (God of Gamblers is a show for those who REALLY don't know)
We are also speculating that putting tea bags on your eyes when you sleep helps you develop the power of looking through the back of a mahjong tile.
Jiawei. She's both brains and brawn. Top student of NUS Biz Ad. Don't pray pray. Soft-spoken, reserved most of the time, but once in a while, she also does take a gibe at us guys.
Peishan. She is independent, loves to take lead when we walk, so we let her to the topo, and then we hide while she does her usual charge ahead. Lucky for her, she managed to escape my camera.
Anyway, we only spent a night in Brussels because there wasn't much to see. Its a really small place, the city centre that is, and most of the sights are all a short walk away from each other. We completed all we wanted to see in just one afternoon.
First we went to check out the Grand Place, the most famous square in Brussels which is lined with nice buildings that were once guildhouses in the past, thus the tinge of gold on their exterior. The sky was overcast, so the pictures didn't turn out too well, otherwise the golden facade of the buildings around the square would have been nicer with the sun shining.
Just off the Grand Place is a statue of Everard 't Serclaes, some 14th century hero. Rubbing his tummy supposedly gave you good luck. But, obviously, as I have learnt, its a load of bull since I didn't win mahjong.
Next, we headed to see the famous statue of the Manneken Pis. Along the way, Huijing (not surprising, she loves sweet stuff) and Gary (not surprising, he's fat) decided to try out the Belgium waffles we kept seeing along the way. The stalls were everywhere. Just like Starbucks in the US. Unfortunately, I didn't think it was anything great. Wasn't that nice.
But Gary seemed to be enjoying his waffle.
And so did Huijing, such that she decided to leave some for tea. When we walk, and she craves for sugar, she would stick out her tongue and lick the sides of her mouth.
As we neared the site of the Manneken Pis, I noticed a crowd. Immediately I knew it was the statue. As I got closer, and saw the statue, I was thinking..."wtf, everyone comes here just to see this boy piss?!". Well, we know legend has it that this boy kinda saved the town from a fire by peeing, but then I expected the statue to be at least quite big or quite grand? But...its puny! Maybe when the little boy whipped out his hose and peed to put out the fire, that gave the fire fighters at that time to start using hoses to spray water instead of using buckets.
Up close...
Maybe its the way he poses that appeals to people? One hand on the waist, the other hand on the...and the back arched in a sexy pose. But, if that's the case, I can pose better. No hands even.
I was so disappointed. I decided that I would be a better Manneken Pis.
Anyway, we moved on. Met these 2 little kids along the street. Highly cute.
I love ang mo kids. I think they're the cutest, both in actions and in looks. Somehow, Asian kids just doesn't seem to be as cute. Unless of course, its me. Heh.
Ok. So we walk by this cathedral that looks very similar to the Notre Dame in Paris.
The girls wanted to go in and take a look, probably because they haven't seen much cathedrals yet. Gary and I have seen so many in Italy that its all the same to us now. And once you've been to the Vatican, no other cathedral can compare in terms of grandeur and majesty. But, this cathedral still had a nice big pipe organ mounted on the walls. Think its supposed to be one of the biggest in Europe or smtg if I remember correctly.
And also, the stained glasses which you'll probably find in every cathedral.
Next, we headed towards our final destination (yes, there is that little to see), the Royal Palace. En route, we walked through a park and decided to laze on the grass for a while. Rest and air our feet.
Huijing decides that she is a horse, and tries to sniff the flowers (weeds actually) on the grass. In Europe, people love to take their dogs everywhere the go. In the train, at the cafe when they eat, shopping etc. Some places, like Paris, you'll find dog shit everywhere, while other places, I the people bother to pick up after their dogs. So, Gary wondered, maybe a dog just shat on that same flower that Huijing just sniffed. Of course Huijing denies the possibility cos she didn't smell any shit. Then, we wondered, maybe a dog shat there before, that's why there are flowers there! Shit on soil = more fertile soil!
So, after lazing around in the sun, which wasn't hot since the weather was cool, we walked to the Royal Palace. Once again, nothing too fancy, even for a palace.
The highlight of the day was probably dinner when we had mussels. Gary says mussels and seafood are cheap in Belgium, so we should try it. Not really a mussel fan, but then it still tasted not bad. So long as the food is good, I'm a happy man. (Tip for the gals: The best way to Mingmong's heart is through his stomach. heh.)
Went back to our room which we had all to ourselves and played cards till we KOed. The next morning we had to catch a train down to Amsterdam.
Check out our bags (especially mine). Slowly you might notice that it gets bigger in size, things start to be hanging outside the bag and I have more things in hand. Think I started the trip with the heaviest bag pack at 18 kg.
En route to Amsterdam for 2 nights...
Shall type again tomorrow or smtg. Pissed off by blogspot for tonight.
P/S Alex is missing cos he only joined us in Berlin. He went to Copenhagen first.
Mingmong _ c r a p p e d _ @ 8:27 PM |
Agent Harry
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Insurance agents, the bane of the mingmongster. In recent weeks, I've had a couple of cold calls from these agents trying to sell me their stuff. Somehow, they seem to have a knack for calling at times when I most do not want them to. For example, I received a call while I was overseas, thus paying IDD, or calling me when I am sleeping which is definitely the WORST time to do so. And the problem with these guys is that they just do not know how to put down the phone. And the problem with me is that I am nice, so I try my best to get them to put down the phone without me directly asking them to get lost. The result is that nice people like me lose, and they talk longer and longer and longer. Therefore, I think I need to devise a way to get them off my back, at the shortest time possible, but at the same time, trying to be tactful.
Somehow, I suspect that all new insurance agent wannabies are put through a boot camp, where they are taught how to talk non-stop, undergo a skin graft (to make their skin as thick as possible), and learn the art of stalking (aka pestering/harrying). So these new Agent Harrys (as I call them for their unrelenting harrying methods), fresh from boot camp, eager to become Prince Harry or even the King of all the Harrys, are the most petrifying of its kind. Their favourite hunting grounds are the MRT stations. They camp outside the entrances, eyeing the crowd for potential victims who would willingly put their pen to paper and sign their moolah away.
In a recent article I read, Agent Harry, along with the property agents or car salesmen, rank among the most disliked professionals among people. I suppose Agent Harry knew that they aren't very well liked in society, and that means less people want to become Agent Harry, so they decided its time to give themselves a better name. They gave themselves a new moniker, Financial Planners. So when they introduce themselves to people, they might go "wooooo" or "ahhhh". But of course, once you know that they are actually Agent Harry under a guise, we stay clear of them anyway.
Agent Harry has the same tactics all the time, which is why I suspect they all undergo a centralised training. Agent Harry says the same things all the time, no matter what company they come from.
There was this Agent Harry who called me up in Europe, and I told him I am overseas, so I couldn't talk. He asked when I would be back. I told him. He said he'll call me back again. When I came back on Thursday night, he called me the following Monday morning, when I was asleep. Nevertheless, I still tried to be nice. And these are some of the things you should never say to Agent Harry, because they are prepared to counter it...
Mingmong: I'm sorry, but I'm not really interested in insurance at the moment. I don't really want to think about it at this time.
Agent Harry: Oh, that's the problem I think most people have. They don't really have an interest about insurance, and they don't think about it until they need it. I have a client who didn't buy insurance, but then he suddenly got ill and found that he needed insurance coverage, but by then it was too late.
Mingmong: (nabey, you cursing me so early in the morning ah) Errr, ya but then I have a policy that my Dad took out for me already.
Agent Harry: Oh, what type of policy is that may I know?
Mingmong: Life. I think.
Agent Harry: Oh, a life policy only covers a loss of life or disability...(blah blah blah). There are many other policies available especially for someone of your age.
Mingmong: (Still trying to get him to give up) Err...ok but I am have not started earning yet, so I think I want to wait till I earn a proper income first, before I get my own policies.
Agent Harry: Oh, I see. When do you start work?
Mingmong: August
Agent Harry: Oh, in that case, why not we meet up and allow me to share with you more about insurance first? No obligations at all. I just need 30 minutes of your time.
Mingmong: (irritated) Sorry, but I am not interested in knowing about insurance since I am not thinking of getting any at the moment, maybe next time.
Agent Harry: Ohh, I see. But I think that's the problem with most people. They are not really informed about what insurance is about...(blah blah blah). Would it be ok if you spare me just 30 minutes, we sit down for a drink and I just share with you. I just want to help you since you were recommended to me by you friend.
Mingmong: (makes mental note: tell all friends not to ever give my number to Agent Harry, otherwise they will use that against me) Nah, its ok. I don't really know when I will be free. I have a lot lined up over the next few days. Anyway, I also have friends who are in this line. I think I can approach them if I need anything.
Agent Harry: Oh, may I know what company your friends are from?
Mingmong: P*********
Agent Harry: Oh, but its ok, since your friend recommend you to me, I can help you as well.
Mingmong: (makes mental note: kill that friend) Ok, but I think I AM REALLY not interested at this point of time. Maybe later on when I am financially stable, and I find the need for it, then I will consider this (and I was thinking maybe 1 year later).
Agent Harry: Oh, ok. That would be fine. You start work in August am I right?
Mingmong: Yes.
Agent Harry: Ok, then is it ok if I call you at the end of August just to see how you are doing?
Mingmong: (Pengz! I give up!) Okok. Anything la.
Agent Harry: Ok thanks Eu Ming. I will sms you my mobile number, and this is my office number. If you have any queries regarding this, do feel free to call me anytime.
Mingmong: Ok. Bye.
That's just an excerpt of the main conversation. But it did go on for at least 20 minutes. Never has anyone asked me out for a "date" again immediately after I've just rejected them. I wonder if they are also this aggressive when it comes to chasing girls.
Just to prove my point that Agent Harry says the same things, uses the same tactics all the time, this is another conversation with Agent Harry. This time it is a girl, and I was awake, and more prepared. She said similar things to me, though they're from different companies. This time Agent Harry said she was in Wealth Management, another new "professionally" coined moniker that recently emerged. Same Agent Harry, just different product. This one's more investment based.
Mingmong: You're trying to sell me insurance right?
Agent Harry: Oh, no no. Its not the same. What we do in wealth management is to help people manage their money and offer them attractive returns as well.
Mingmong: Sorry but I am not working yet, so I have no funds to offer you.
Agent Harry: Oh, when do you start work?
Mingmong: Soon. In August.
Agent Harry: Oh, I see. But would you like to meet up for a coffee, and I can share with you more about what I do?
Mingmong: Erm, no thanks. I'm not really interested to know right now. No interest in this.
Agent Harry: Oh, but I think that's common among most people I meet. Which is why I want to help you, and share with you the potential benefits. Basically, we help manage the money people put with us...(blah blah blah).
Mingmong: Its ok, because I think I would like to manage my own savings.
Agent Harry: Oh, but we will definitely offer you a better return than the bank.
Mingmong: No, I meant I would rather invest my money myself in stocks etc.
Agent Harry: Oh, but we have specialists who can actually help you do a good job with that.
Mingmong: Ya I know, but I think I rather try it out myself and learn.
Agent Harry: Oh, but don't you think you might end up with DISASTROUS results?
Mingmong: (irritated) Well, I think that's a risk I have to take if I want to learn. And I think with my work, I will have the relevant experience to do it myself. (a bit exaggerating here)
Agent Harry: Oh, err, if you don't mind sir, what will you be working as?
Mingmong: (heheh...I think she's gonna be speechless) I'm gonna be a Trader. (I deliberately stopped short of saying oil)
Agent Harry: Oh. Err. Hmm...
Mingmong: (Muahaha!) Ya, so as I said, I think I can apply what I do at work to my own money, so even if you can help, I still want to do it myself.
Agent Harry: Oh, ok then. *pause* Err, is it ok then if I add you to my birthday calendar? I will send you a card or give you a call on your birthday or something.
Mingmong: (damn!) Alright. My birthday is XXXXXX.
So, typically, Agent Harry always wants to date you, Agent Harry loves to 'help' strangers as they claim, and the love to call you back again. Most importantly, they know how to talk. So, I have decided that I should be more prepared for the next cold call I'm gonna receive from Agent Harry, or maybe if he ambushes me outside the MRT station.
This is how I think I will reply their commonly used phrases, and hope they will give up...
If they try to date you...
Agent Harry: Can I meet up with you to share with you more about what I do? I just need 30 minutes of your time. No obligations at all, just need a little of your time over a drink.
Mingmong: Har...Where got 30 minutes? I need to bathe and change, already 30 minutes. Then I take bus and mrt down from my house to town another 1 hour. Then meet you 30 minutes. Then take mrt and bus home 1 hour again. Then give another 30 minutes miscellaneous admin like go toilet, altogether 4 hours leh. Too long la.
Agent Harry: (assuming he counters me) Oh, I can meet you closer to your house, then you don't have to travel so much.
Mingmong: Har....since you come closer to my house, then might as well come my house la.
Agent Harry: That's great, so I'll meet you at your house then?
Mingmong: No la...I say you come my house fetch me go out la. You say meet for drink, then you think you come my house I give you drink meh. Where got such thing? You ask me out for drink of course you buy me drink la!
Agent Harry: Oh, ok. I might not have a car available to fetch you.
Mingmong: You dunno how to take cab ah.
Agent Harry: (starting to think he damn lugi, but instructor say must persevere, tough customer also must lun4) Oh, ok. I'll come pick you tomorrow then and we'll go to Tampines Mall for a drink?
Mingmong: Eh dey, what Tampines Mall? I thought drink means drink alcohol? Go pub or what la. Say first, must open bottle one.
Agent Harry: (siao liao la! but bo pian, must lun!) Ok, tomorrow night we go Harry's ok? I can tell you more over drinks.
Mingmong: Steady la!
(at the pub...)
Mingmong: Eh, we must drink first then talk. You all always entertain clients, sure good drinker right? Come! I drink one you drink two. Bo tah bo lam pah.
Agent Harry: (lun. lun. lun.) Ok, cheers.
1 hour later, Agent Harry is drunk. Mingmong zhao go home and sleep.
If they try to "help" you...
Agent Harry: I want to help you. There are people who realise they are in need of money but have no insurance coverage. / I want to help you. You can put aside $50 with me each month instead of spending it without even knowing it. I am helping you to save for the future because I think people don't have a habit of saving...etc (and what ever help save the world shit...)
Mingmong: Wah, you practising for Mr/Miss Universe Q&A ah. You should say world peace la. You say so much, confuse the judges only. They like only 2 word answers then the let you win liao. Next time just say world peace!
Agent Harry: No no sir, I truly want to help you. I believe in my company's products and I feel its good for people. At least I share with you and inform you of how it can help you...(blah blah blah)
Mingmong: Wahhh...so noble ah. Ok la, since you just want to help people, means like volunteer worker la! Its hard to find people these days who are willing to help people and not reap any benefit. Ok la, I better not waste your time, I think more people need your help. I go find another guy to buy. You helping people not for the commission, so you better go talk to those who don't want to buy. I give someone else the commission to someone else la.
Agent Harry: Oh, no no sir, its ok, I can help you too. Don't need to look for someone else. Let me serve you.
Mingmong: Orh, ok la, since I'm talking to you already. But then now I got no time la, why not you type out everything you need to say then you send to me. When I free then I read la ok? Ok byebye.
And if they try to call you back...
Agent Harry: Can I call you back maybe at the end of August to see how you are?
Mingmong: Cannnnnnnn! Send me all your contact numbers ok! So I can call you if I need help also.
Agent Harry: Great!
Mingmong gets the numbers, save in his contact list. When the number calls, kup the phone.
Or...
Agent Harry: Can I add you to my birthday calandar and send you a card or give you a call on your birthday?
Mingmong: Cannnnn! But I don't want a call, nor a card, I want a present. I am currently in need of an iPod.
Agent Harry: Oh, err I'm sorry but its company policy not to send gifts to clients.
Mingmong: Liddat ah...ok lorrr. Too bad then.
Agent Harry: Ok so when is your birthday?
Mingmong: 29 Febuary 1981. Do send me all your contact numbers so I can contact you if I need help in future.
Agent Harry: Sure, thanks alot!
And as usual, save the numbers, kup the phone if they call.
Anyway, I have some friends who have decided to go into this industry (this is not a direct attack at you guys!), and I told them not to preach to me about their products, and that I will look for them when I want it. If anyone of you is in this line, don't look for me either. Since I have people I know doing this, what for give strangers the business right? So dear friends who sell insurance or do financial planning or whatever, so long as you're Agent Harry, don't be angry. This is just for fun la. I will still give you some biz.
Mingmong _ c r a p p e d _ @ 8:32 PM |
Europe Roundup - Amsterdam
Sunday, July 24, 2005
To continue from the previous roundup, the next place we went was Amsterdam.
Amsterdam is a special place in this world where prostitution and drugs are commonplace, and very legal. I find it funny how the people and government of Amsterdam can actually accept and legalise prostitution and drugs to the extent that they actually seem quite proud it. Souvenirs commonly depict porn or grass, you have sex museums, cannabis museums, and whatever museums to do with sex and drugs.
I mean...even their national monument is a phallic-like obelisk.
And once we walked out of our hostel, abt 50 metres later, we found...
I deliberately resized the picture to smaller than usual, in case the under-aged readers are able to see the details in the background. Also, in case I am guilty of putting up pornography. Ha. And as you can tell, Gary really loves those stuff...
Well, we definitely did not do drugs, and we didn't even drink in Amsterdam. Its funny that we were in Amsterdam, where most people go to party, that we just didn't do what Amsterdam is all about. We did take a walk one night through the red-light district where all the "fish tanks" were. The area is actually quite organised and the girls seem to be segregated along different streets based on age, ethnicity, looks etc. For example, we would walk along one street where all the gals are fairly hot, then turn around the block and we're looking at older women. Or we check out the asian chicks and then suddenly the next street are the big gals. Best of all, you can bargain. Heh. Also, as I walked along the streets, some guy will come up to me and ask if I want cocaine. Naturally, I declined. But he was nice, he walked with me and talked a little, and he even knew how to speak some Mandarin (not just the standard "ni hao").
There wasn't much that we did in Amsterdam actually. On the day we arrived, we dumped our bags in the hostel and took the train out to the countryside. We went to this town called Zaandam, where we could find the windmills. There is also Keukenhof, which hosts the world's largest garden of flowers. Too bad we missed the flower season by a couple of weeks. The place only opens during the flower season between March and May. Nevertheless, Zaandam also has its charms. An old, quaint town with windmills by the river and farms. Definitely better than Amsterdam itself I feel.
So basically, this is what Zaandam is all about...
The windmills in the background...
Then we went to this small farmhouse that makes cheese...and I took the opportunity to take a photo with 2 Dutch milkmaids. Hot milkmaids.
And played with the farm animals...I tried feeding the ducks some of my milkshake...
Cute little duck seemed to love it...and wanted more..
But somehow, they seemed more interested in Huijing. The birds, the ducks, the whatever, all kept flocking to her. And Huijing was rather terrified of them, so she stayed on the bench...
Then, when the ducks were distracted, she would run across to the bench on the other side to take cover, but somehow, the ducks and birds just followed her there and stood below the bench, watching her, stalking her...
Soon, the ducks got a little more bold and tried flying close to her, possibly trying to kiss her...
That's when Huijing panicked...
She stood on the bench and refused to come down...
Gary and I decided we finally know why she always gets the animals during mahjong... because she has a natural ability to attact animals, alive ...or tiled.
After watching Huijing being chased by farm animals, we went by the river, lay down beside it, and slept. Shiok. Refreshing.
So anyway, that was it with the countryside, and it was back to the city. The next day, we set out to see the main touristy stuff in Amsterdam. First up, the sex museum. Its like a museum of porn, but in a rather academic kind of way. There are pictures depicting all kinds of human fantasies, and they try to explain what and why these "ideas"/"acts" come about. Then there's this section where they have a collection of porn photographs dating all the way back to the early 1900s or earlier I think. Like a history of porn. Kaoz. Then they're also those crappy stuff like sexual ornaments and stuff. I was quite surprised the girls didn't feel grossed out la. Cos some of the stuff really quite gross la. Like 47cm "Long Dong Silver" I mentioned before.
Just an example of the crap they had inside...
Long Dong Mong, at your service...
Then there was this special chair. When you sit on it, and lean back against the back rest, this thing under the chair starts poking ur ass area from beneath the seat cover. Then we decided to play a prank on the gals. We told Huijing to take a picture with us at the seat (which just looks like an ordinary seat in a resting area), then we made her sit on the "special" one while we sat beside her, then Gary and I put our arms around her back and pushed the back rest. Well what happened next was...
Huijing: "OH MY GOD!"
And she jumped out of the seat. Then she decided to have another go at it. (I wonder why). With her happy meal box in her hand. She looked kinda happy.
Next target was Jiawei. But she already suspected something was amiss so the mission failed. She tried figuring out what was wrong with the chair, looking up, down, left, right, above, under etc...so in the end we told her the secret. Then she decided to give it a go. And somehow, there was no "oh my god" unlike HJ, but she jus sat there thinking, and smiling, and she really did sit there for a while. Ha.
So anyway, that's that. Then, we went around Amsterdam on bicycles. Most of the pple there travel with their bikes. There are special lanes catered just for bikes. Well, HJ somehow always seems to be in the thick of the action. She's not really a good cyclist and somewhere along the way, she buanged, and broke her fall with her chin. Poor girl. Heh.
We went to the Heineken brewery. Walked through the place for a history of the beer and stuff. And also had the beer too, all included in the trip.
I think the nicest part of the whole Heineken Experience was the Heineken bar.
Nice decor with the lighting and the Heineken bottles behind the bar... I think its similar to the one that was in the advertisement.
Then, we also had a picnic lunch in the park, Vondelpark, biggest park in the city if I am not wrong. We kinda got accustomed to slacking around in parks and any patch of grass we see. Somehow, just didn't feel like walking and seeing and walking and seeing, prefering to take it slow.
This is just one of the many 5 main canals that runs across the city of Amsterdam...
This is the typical street around the area too...
So basically, that's it for me in Amsterdam. 2 days. Half of it spent in Zaandam, and the rest in the city just selectively browsing through the sights. Unless you're there for some hardcore stuff, I guess 2 days is sufficient.
And then we hopped on board a train to Berlin to meet Alex...
And on board the train we played Texas Hold'em! An American who stayed in our room taught us the game which is "really big in the US". And, I found that it is the only game I can actually win money from HJ. Ha.
Ok..that's all for now....
Mingmong _ c r a p p e d _ @ 4:46 PM |
For those who believe in luck
Saturday, July 23, 2005
If you believe in luck and want one of those 4-leaf clover thinggies, my friends shop is at the Concourse along Beach Road. If its too inaccessible, you can visit the website at
www.julieroberts.com.sg
Here's some free advertising for you Josh. =)
P/S: My mahjong kakis will be turned away. There can only be one 4-leaf clover on the mahjong table. And it would be mine. Heh.
Mingmong _ c r a p p e d _ @ 12:19 AM |
Redang
Friday, July 22, 2005
Just got back from a dive trip to Redang last night. Redang is definitely a better place to dive than Tioman. The visibility was very good, at least 12-15 metres at times, and there are loads to see. I saw more stuff in a single dive than the 7 dives I had in Tioman. In the first dive alone, the moment I descended into the water, the dive master pointed out a black-tip shark to us.
The trip was fun apart from the diving. We talked crap, relaxed by the beach, played cards (and I realised that Hearts is actually a damn fun game), sang karoke (since its free) and slept (my favourite pasttime). The food was edible, but since its free, I shan't complain, and since there wasn't any other alternative source of food (unless I go fishing) I had no choice. We stayed at Redang Kalong Resort. Not too bad, but nothing compared to the reknown Laguna Resort where Xia Ri Mo Mo Cha was filmed. Huijing and gang arrived there 1 day after me, and I walked over to check it out. The beach was somehow nicer than the one outside my room, even though it was jus the beach next to ours. Pay more, get more I suppose.
The only downside of the trip was the bus ride up and down. 10 hours there, 12 hours back. The ride there was overnight, and I was expecting to sleep my way through it, only to find that it was impossible. The bus had the most screwed up suspension. Each time I find myself slipping into a slumber, I would be jolted out of my sleep by a bump, or I would just find myself airborne for half a second. The way back was just as bad, but I think I was too shacked out that I KO-ed the moment the bus moved off. Slept quite soundly despite being in oscillatory mode. Some kid in front of me puked halfway too. Sian 1/2. The funny thing is, both buses were different. Conclusion? Never take buses from Enjoy (the bus company). Enjoy? Enjoy what? Maybe they should rename their company, call themselves "Suffer", maybe.
Also, the sea got the better of me this time. We took a small little speed boat out to the dive sites and each time I got out of the water from the dive, climbed up the boat, my stomach would give way and I would feed the fishes. The waters were quite choppy and with the boat anchored, it would just sway side-to-side, and a small boat makes it worse.
Anyway, some pictures to show the beauties of the underwater world.
First of all... Me. Ha.
Alright, kidding. Here's Josh and I fooling around.
Upclose shot of a sea anemone
And the Nemos found in it. They're apparently very friendly...
A Moray Eel. It bites.
Met my childhood sweetheart, Ariel,
and her friend Sebastian too...
A huge school of fish (not decide whether they are fusiliers or snappers) which we swam beside. Found quite a few hundred of them hanging around the reef, so we swam behind/beside them, like herding sheep.
A huge turtle. Find them amazingly cute...despite their age.
See...so cute!
And many, many more...just don't want a picture overload cos I noticed my blog is becoming more like a picture book, especially with my heavy picture posts of Europe coming up.
Once again, whatever I typed disappeared because of a blackout in the house. I was just about to hit the publish button when the lights just went out. Sian half.
Off for a jog with my sis. Bet she's gonna whip my ass at it.
Mingmong _ c r a p p e d _ @ 11:04 PM |
NKF - Mingmong version
Sunday, July 17, 2005
The story that has been the talk of the town for the past week has been the dispute between Singapore Por-c Hua (SPH) and the Never-ending Kitty of Funds (NKF).
The main characters of this National Kidney Fiasco are:
T.T. Dulan - Disgruntled by people snooping around his private toilet, he decides to take them to court. Also an afficionado of toilet fittings and gold. Famously known as "the man who never flies first class".
Darth Vinder Singh - The powerful "dark" lord who has sentenced one too many high profile characters to their downfall. A cunning linguist, he withers his victims down slowly till they yield to him.
Prior to the hearing, reporter of the Mingmongster, Ming monster, had an interview with our protagonists...
Ming monster: Hi Mr T.T. Dulan, would you mind if I ask you a few questions?
T.T. Dulan: Sure!
Ming monster: Ok. Firstly, what...
T.T. Dulan: First? No I don't fly first class.
Ming monster: ?!?! Err...ok...what do you think of your chances in winning this case?
T.T. Dulan: I am very confident of winning. I have a first class lawyer to help me with this. Opps. Wait. I didn't say first class did I? I never fly first class.
Ming monster: What about the gold plated tap? What do you have to say about that?
T.T. Dulan: Firstly, it was within the guidelines set by the Board. Secondly...wait. I didn't say first did I? I never fly first class.
Ming monster: Err...okayy. I guess we should stop here. Thank you very much Mr Dulan.
T.T. Dulan: Not a problem. If you need me, just call me at 1900-112-6868. Anytime. If you hear an operator, it means I'm not in, but just keep calling till I pick up the phone. *wink*
Ming monster: Ok. Thanks. Oh, by the way, too bad you don't fly first class. The service is really good and the flight attendents, whoa, they're usually the young and hot ones!
T.T. Dulan: Oh yes yes! I totally agree! The service is simply impeccable. And, I usually drink wine like nobody's business. But one thing I feel airlines should improve in the first class area is their toilets. I mean, we deserve better toilets. Maybe a gold plated sink or something.
Ming monster: Oh...but I thought you never fly first class?
T.T. Dulan: (turns to his lawyer) He knows too much. I want him in c0urt too.
*
Ming monster: Mr Singh, would you spare me a few moments of your time?
Darth Vinder: Sure!
Ming monster: What do you think of your chances against Mr T.T. Dulan?
Darth Vinder: T.T.? No, sorry I don't drive the Audi TT.
Ming monster: No, I said what do you think of your chances against Mr Dulan?
Darth Vinder: *adjusts his helmet* Oh, I'm sorry. Sometimes I tie my helmet too low that it covers my ears. Yes, about the case, I have confidence in breaking Mr Dulan just like I have with all my other victims, such as Mr Cheep Soon Kuay.
Ming monster: Do you have a different approach to this case?
Darth Vinder: Nope. Same as always, I will use my famous TTTTTT tactic.
Ming monster: TTTTTT?
Darth Vinder: Haven't you watch Toyko Raiders before? They introduced a drug called TTTTT: Till They Tell The Truth. But I went one T further. I don't use drugs (otherwise I will get hanged), I just Talk Till They Tell The Truth.
Ming monster: Wasn't that a chinese/cantonese movie?
Darth Vinder: Eh why? Singh cannot understand chinese isit? Even Gurmit Singh can speak chinese. *Makes heavy breathing noise*
Ming monster: Oh no no, I didn't mean that. Well, all the best to you Mr Singh.
Darth Vinder: Thank you.
*
The trial was a heated affair. Both Dulan and Darth Vinder engaging each other with their oral skills. Darth Vinder was in the driver's seat, taking the more active role, trying to penetrate Dulan's defences. Dulan tried to respond to each and every move Darth Vinder had but Darth Vinder was always on top of him, lapping up everything that came out of Dulan's mouth and shooting more attacks back at him. Darth Vinder got more aggressive and thrusted more at Dulan. The trial reached a climax when Dulan finally came...to his senses and slumped back into his chair, spent. Dulan was visibly worn out by the oral prowess of Darth Vinder. He then decided he could not meet Darth Vinder's request for more...answers, and so he relented and decided to come clean.
*
Revelations of Dulan's remuneration package shocked the people. Let's examine the public sentiment with regards to this earth-moving piece of news...
Ming monster: *walks over to the nearby kopitiam* Err...Uncle ah, can I ask you a question regarding the NKF issue?
Uncle: *puts down his mug of beer* Cannnn...no problem. *hic*
Ming monster: What do you think about the salary the Mr Dulan is receiving?
Uncle: *takes another sip of his beer, looking dissatisfied* Umm... Peanuts.
Ming monster: !?!? Peanuts?
Uncle: Ya, I need more peanuts to eat, can help me take?
Ming monster: *deadpans*
*
The trial has since ended with Darth Vinder victorious once again and the NKF waving the white flag and retreating. But questions still remain in the minds of the people, many of whom feel cheated and misled into donating to a worthy cause.
The NKF, does it really Need King-like Facilities in its toilets? Was our sympathy and empathy for the needy a fallacy that caused us to Naively Keep Funding the NKF's call for donations? Or was it those National Kindness Facades that they show on television that cajole us to pick up the phones to dial that all too familiar number (which even a person who never donated (eg. me) would know that number by heart)? Among those who railed against the "Non-profit-making Kidney Foundation, it would probably be the poor who feel the most injustice. A man who earned $1000 a month could have donated $50 to the Never-ending Kitty of Funds, only to find that the good people over there have Nipped Kidney Funds for their personal benefit. As a result, the donations from the public will fall and penalise the kidney patients. These patients now need a new NKF, they Need Kind Forbearance from the public to continue donating to their cause. However, with no more trust in the organisation, not all donors would be able to bear such cognitive dissonance. Fortunately, the Never-ending Kitty of Funds seems to be enough for more than a decade as revealed, and it is unlikely that the fall in donations will be a short-term problem.
Personally, I still prefer to see who my money goes to. I say, why not help the needy who do not have the fortune of having media publicity to help garner donations. For example, that blind man selling tissue in hawker centres or that old lady collecting cans from rubbish bins. In contrast, the blind man singing in the Orchard underpass is probably getting enough money from passerbys over the years. The old man selling towels in Chinatown with 2 retarded kids also had some media coverage to improve his income. Thus, I prefer to divert my donations to those who get less of the pie.
*
After the stepping down of the Board and the CEO, the staff of the NKF cried. One would wonder why they responded in a way that was so different from that of the public. The Ming monster decided to investigate this phenomena...
Ming monster: Excuse me auntie, why you so sad ah? Everyone asking for them to step down but you and your colleagues seem to want them to stay.
Auntie 1: *sobs* Aiyah, boss go already, no more nice toilet to use la!
*
Ming monster: Excuse me auntie, you in-charge of cleaning toilet right? Why you also so sad ah? Now no boss to make you shine his toilet bowl already you should be happy what.
Auntie 2: *Wails* Aiyah, I still haven't finish scrapping off all the gold from his tap la!
*
DISCLAIMER
Characters in this post are all fictional. Any similarities or resemblances to real-life people or names are intentional, but with no defamatory, calumnious, nor pejorative intent. Readers should read at their own discretion and should bear in mind that the content was written purely for entertainment and humour, and real-life people bearing any semblance to these fictional characters should be held in a good light.
*
Ok, just had to be sure I included that in case I become the next talk of the town with a visit to court.
Mingmong _ c r a p p e d _ @ 11:07 PM |
Convocation
Friday, July 15, 2005
The past few days have been quite packed for me. So glad I can stay home and slack today. If I am so tired just by going out each day, I wonder how I'll survive when I start work. *shudders*
On Tuesday, I went down to my future office to get my contract signed. Finally settled all the administrative procedures and now all I have to do is sit and wait till 15 August when I officially step into the corporate world. Caught Initial D after that. Now I know what the fuss is all about. Jay Chou, Edison, Shawn Yue for the gals, fast cars for the guys. But then, don't you all think the whole show is just a super long Jay Chou MTV? Also, I think in the next few months, there will be an increase the number of road accidents as many people will be trying to drive like Jay Chou. Left hand on the stering wheel, right hand supporting the head and resting on the door. Tried it already. Ha. And being a right-hander, I can't control the car as well with the left hand. Nevertheless, I think the show was entertaining enough, though they really could have chosen a better looking female lead.
Wednesday. Convocation day. The ceremony was what I expected it to be: Boring. Just sat there waiting for my 3 seconds of fame on stage. The pro-chancellor for my session was Wee Cho Yaw. Unfortunately, I didn't get to shake his hand. With my surname being Lim, I was the 303rd person to go up on stage that morning and somewhere around the 200s, I think he started to get quite shack, so I think he asked someone to take over.
My main motive for going was to take pictures. After the ceremony, everyone was busy doing that. Or rather, most people were busy doing that. Others were, however, attacking the food at the reception upstairs, which I didn't even know existed. When I finally did find out that there was a reception, all the food was gone. Didn't get to take many pictures in the end because some people rushed off to take pictures with their family around the school (smtg which I don't seem to fathom), and others were just hidden in the sea of people. The main reason was because they split the whole graduating class from NBS were split into 3 sessions in the day. So I didn't get to see those in Biz, and those in Acc whose surnames start with T and onwards. Also, I was using the new Sony Cybershot. The camera is great, high res and huge screen and all. BUT, the images are blurred with the slightest movement when taking a picture. And when you get pple to take a picture for you, sometimes, they don't do it right and it doesn't come out well, while others just can't keep their hands steady. So I think when it comes to digital cameras, Canon is still the best.
Decided to ditch the traditional white shirt and go for a more unconventional purple one for the day.
Purple shirt, purple tie and to top it off, purple rubberbands on my braces. Ha. Wasn't really planned when I went to the dentist on Monday. But once I pulled on my shirt and tie and looked in the mirror, I realised it matched! Ok out of point.
Anyway, some of the pictures I took...
Me and Gavin. Smart joker who played in team NTU with me. Stuck my head behind his ass in scrums, while he sometimes cupped my ass in line-outs.
Me and Shuyi. I guess its out in the open now, so no harm saying that she is Mrs Gavin.
My FYP mates (the guys) and one of the top brains in school, Xunwen.
Mahjong kakis.
Alex and his teddy bear, and me.
Gaohan the brain.
Travel mates less Gary who is a Tan.
The Goddess of Gamblers, mahjong slayer, self-pick demon, and round tummied ice-cream and chocolate monster.
This is the only picture I took with the motar board on my head. You see that the girls are the ones with it on their heads because they pinned it to their hair.
We just HAD to take this picture of throwing the motar boards. I think after this picture, I finally understood why it is called a motar board, and not a hat, nor a helmet, nor a cap etc. It is because, when you throw the damn thing up in the air, it comes down like a motar bomb, and when it hits your head, good luck to u.
I AM actually in this picture. Just that my face is blocked by a hand. It doesn't pay to be tall. In future, when pictures are taken, short ones behind please.
And finally, Gary Tan. Waited till the next session so I could take a picture with him before he went in. And in typical Gary-fashion, he came fashionably late.
That night, we decided to go down to Zouk. Its been more than 4 months since I stepped in. I found that they reverted back to the old pricings where Phuture is a couple dollars more expensive than Zouk, thus pple entering through Zouk can't go into Phuture but not vice versa. Which is great cos I think that lessened the crowd in Phuture, though its still too packed. And once again, I derived no pleasure from the night out. I think I am really past it. Its time for a switch to a new environment that better suits me. Maybe next time it will be Velvet, or as Alex suggests, Balaclava, which does look quite happening from the outside. Gone are the times where dancing and trying to get drunk seemed like fun. I think now I just wanna sit down, have a drink and relax friends. Chill out, so to speak.
Thursday. Went to meet Josh to get my dive equipment. Will be going to Redang on Monday to dive. Decided to invest in my own equipment since I expect to be taking this up as a leisure activity in future. Spent quite a bit on a wet suit, mask, snorkel, fin, booties and sausage. Feel the pinch man. Think I am gonna go bankrupt before I even start work at the rate I'm going.
Josh brought me to his Dad's shop as well. His dad's place sells gifts and ornamental stuff. Their most popular items has been the 4-leaf clover collection for the past 2 years or so. As we all know, the 4-leaf clover is supposed to bring you luck. In the car, Josh was telling me how many of the people who bought the 4-leaf clover items came back to tell his dad that they struck 4-D or toto. There was even a woman who struck 1st, 2nd and 3rd prize 3 times each in 4-D. And many more testimonials. Well, I found it hard to believe actually.
Anyway, I went to his shop and on the way there, an insurance agent called me again to push her products. I shall go into this some other time, but if just for the record, I find insurance agents irritating. Anyway, I was on the phone, and I stepped into his dad's shop and decided to step back out to finish talking first before I could talk to Josh's dad. Then as I turned and walked back out, I notice something on the floor outside the shop. It was 2 folded $10 bills. WTF! Was what Josh said true?! So anyway, Josh showed me all the testimonials of the customers who struck 4-D and toto. They came back to the shop, took a photo with his dad and the shop and all. And it wasn't just 5 people. There was a STACK of A4 size testimonials, each with different people on it. It was probably about 20-30? Sounds too good to be true. Coincidence or does the legend really actually hold true? Anyway, I decided to use the $20 to get one of those 4-leaf clover stuff from the shop and also since Josh drove me around to get the cheap dive stuff, and also cos I hoped that maybe it would work against Huijing's mahjong prowess! So I got the handphone chain.
It costs $31 btw. Well, it is quite high for a handphone chain, but well, it has a reall 4-leaf clover in it. Not something you will find in Singapore. And since I found $20 outside his dad's shop, I should just "give it back". Well, about its mystical powers, I don't know if it exists, neither do I actually believe in it, but I did put it to a test. I played mahjong last night and I still lost. But then, Alex says, maybe it did help, it helped me lose less. *Deadpans*
Anyway, they didn't start selling this because of the superstition thing. They only started collecting testimonials when they realised there were quite a lot of people coming back to tell them about their winnings and introducing friends and all to them. Their shop is not in town or somewhere prominent, proves that the power of word of mouth is indeed a KSF to any successful business. Anyway, let's see if my luck changes.
Met up with my travel mates last night for dinner after getting my dive gear. Had a couple of hours to spare so I walked around Orchard. I deliberately went into Zara to check out the prices of the shirts I bought in Spain. I was pleased. Price in Singapore for their long-sleeved office shirts are $89.90 (though I thought it used to be $79, but oh well, all the better if its $89). Price I got mine in Spain: 29.90 euros, which works out to about $62 bucks or so. Heh. That's not all. Those I got on sale were 19.90 euros, although they are the previous season's collection, but still nice anyway. Talk about my shopping sprees when I talk about Spain next time.
However, I decided to walk into Kenneth Cole to just check out the belt prices too. Bought a KC belt from somewhere in Europe too (forgot where), and it was on sale. Got it for about SGD$50. Found that the belts here are twice the price. Ha. But then...went over to see the leather shoes and realised that the pair I bought before I left for my trip was on further reduction. Sigh.
After dinner with the guys, Alex, Huijing and I (eager to test my 4-leaf clover) adjourned to my place for mahjong. We picked up HJ's friend on the way since we're short of 1 ka. During mahjong, HJ's fren made a worrying revelation. She suddenly recalled an incident a while ago when she was on IRC. This guy came and tried to talk to her. Then he introduced himself as Jansen. Then he sent her pictures of HIMSELF. At that time, she already met me before cos we've played mj together a few times. So, she recognised the pictures this Jansen guy sent to her as ME. *STUNNED* I asked her how the photos looked like, and she said there was one where I was in a red T-shirt. So immediately I asked if I had gold hair. She said yes. Damn, it was my picture! Then she said, there was another he sent with me in the toilet. Damn, I knew that one too! The guy deinitely ripped them off my friendster profile. BLoody hell.
Then, she pressed him further for more details about himself, and he seemed to know stuff about me like I am from NBS and all, evidently he just took what ever minimal information he had from my friendster profile. As she pressed further, and asked if he was REALLY the person in the picture, he logged off. This is worrying. Someone using my picture to chat up gals! I don't even know a Jansen. Worst of all, he was on the NTU/NUS channel. Alex says someone is out to destroy me. Shuming (HJ's fren, the "victim") says someone is trying to sabo me. I say...he should not use such a ugly name as Jansen. Heh. Just kidding. But who ever goes onto IRC now? I always thought its dead. But this is serious. What if it was one of those guys who solicit sex on the Internet, and the girls are those who don't know me but see me in school or on the streets! OMG. IF anyone sends you my pictures, please get his number and arrange to meet him, and I will meet him personally.
AND...THOU SHALT NOT RIP ANY PICTURES FROM MY BLOG UNLESS AUTHORISED!
On a lighter note...You would think that girls are overwearing pink when you see this scene before you....
3 Girls, wearing a pink top and jeans in a row at a single ATM. There was actually another girl in pink top and jeans drawing money before I managed to whip out my camera, so that makes 4 girls in pink and jeans and withdrawing money from 1 single ATM at the 3rd floor of Wisma. Maybe its time to redo your wardrobe gals and guys(since guys are also into pink now)...pink is too IN to be IN in pink. So try why not try purple like me? Heh.
Ok enough for a day.
Mingmong _ c r a p p e d _ @ 4:23 PM |
Europe Roundup - Brussels
Monday, July 11, 2005
Bloody hell. I hate it when blogspot screws up and I have to retype everything. This one will certainly not have the same amount of enthusiasm.
Ok. From where I left off, I took a flight over to Brussels to meet the others after spending a week in the UK. I think I should first introduce each of them so I wouldn't have to point them out again in future.
First, Gary. The girls said that they thought of him as a serious person on first impression. Confident in his work, "zai", hardworking etc. But now they have revised their impression of him. In fact, it only took Peishan and Huijing 1 day to change their minds. Gary IS full of shit. 90% of the stuff that comes out of his mouth is rubbish. But of course it adds to the fun.
Next, Alex. Think I have talked about enough for me to leave out the introductory description. But there's one mystery about Alex which bugs me... He shits every day...but why he still so full of shit?
Huijing. Yes, the one who constantly milks me dry on the mahjong table. We found out her secret during the trip. Chocolates. All gambling fans know that the God of Gamblers, Gao Jun (Chow Yuen Fatt for those who dunno), loves chocolates. Huijing stuffs herself with chocolates everyday. Even if its not chocolates, she still has sweets, ice-cream, or nutella, or anything sweet she can lay her hands on. She eats so much sugar a day, we actually wonder where it all goes inside of her. (God of Gamblers is a show for those who REALLY don't know)
We are also speculating that putting tea bags on your eyes when you sleep helps you develop the power of looking through the back of a mahjong tile.
Jiawei. She's both brains and brawn. Top student of NUS Biz Ad. Don't pray pray. Soft-spoken, reserved most of the time, but once in a while, she also does take a gibe at us guys.
Peishan. She is independent, loves to take lead when we walk, so we let her to the topo, and then we hide while she does her usual charge ahead. Lucky for her, she managed to escape my camera.
Anyway, we only spent a night in Brussels because there wasn't much to see. Its a really small place, the city centre that is, and most of the sights are all a short walk away from each other. We completed all we wanted to see in just one afternoon.
First we went to check out the Grand Place, the most famous square in Brussels which is lined with nice buildings that were once guildhouses in the past, thus the tinge of gold on their exterior. The sky was overcast, so the pictures didn't turn out too well, otherwise the golden facade of the buildings around the square would have been nicer with the sun shining.
Just off the Grand Place is a statue of Everard 't Serclaes, some 14th century hero. Rubbing his tummy supposedly gave you good luck. But, obviously, as I have learnt, its a load of bull since I didn't win mahjong.
Next, we headed to see the famous statue of the Manneken Pis. Along the way, Huijing (not surprising, she loves sweet stuff) and Gary (not surprising, he's fat) decided to try out the Belgium waffles we kept seeing along the way. The stalls were everywhere. Just like Starbucks in the US. Unfortunately, I didn't think it was anything great. Wasn't that nice.
But Gary seemed to be enjoying his waffle.
And so did Huijing, such that she decided to leave some for tea. When we walk, and she craves for sugar, she would stick out her tongue and lick the sides of her mouth.
As we neared the site of the Manneken Pis, I noticed a crowd. Immediately I knew it was the statue. As I got closer, and saw the statue, I was thinking..."wtf, everyone comes here just to see this boy piss?!". Well, we know legend has it that this boy kinda saved the town from a fire by peeing, but then I expected the statue to be at least quite big or quite grand? But...its puny! Maybe when the little boy whipped out his hose and peed to put out the fire, that gave the fire fighters at that time to start using hoses to spray water instead of using buckets.
Up close...
Maybe its the way he poses that appeals to people? One hand on the waist, the other hand on the...and the back arched in a sexy pose. But, if that's the case, I can pose better. No hands even.
I was so disappointed. I decided that I would be a better Manneken Pis.
Anyway, we moved on. Met these 2 little kids along the street. Highly cute.
I love ang mo kids. I think they're the cutest, both in actions and in looks. Somehow, Asian kids just doesn't seem to be as cute. Unless of course, its me. Heh.
Ok. So we walk by this cathedral that looks very similar to the Notre Dame in Paris.
The girls wanted to go in and take a look, probably because they haven't seen much cathedrals yet. Gary and I have seen so many in Italy that its all the same to us now. And once you've been to the Vatican, no other cathedral can compare in terms of grandeur and majesty. But, this cathedral still had a nice big pipe organ mounted on the walls. Think its supposed to be one of the biggest in Europe or smtg if I remember correctly.
And also, the stained glasses which you'll probably find in every cathedral.
Next, we headed towards our final destination (yes, there is that little to see), the Royal Palace. En route, we walked through a park and decided to laze on the grass for a while. Rest and air our feet.
Huijing decides that she is a horse, and tries to sniff the flowers (weeds actually) on the grass. In Europe, people love to take their dogs everywhere the go. In the train, at the cafe when they eat, shopping etc. Some places, like Paris, you'll find dog shit everywhere, while other places, I the people bother to pick up after their dogs. So, Gary wondered, maybe a dog just shat on that same flower that Huijing just sniffed. Of course Huijing denies the possibility cos she didn't smell any shit. Then, we wondered, maybe a dog shat there before, that's why there are flowers there! Shit on soil = more fertile soil!
So, after lazing around in the sun, which wasn't hot since the weather was cool, we walked to the Royal Palace. Once again, nothing too fancy, even for a palace.
The highlight of the day was probably dinner when we had mussels. Gary says mussels and seafood are cheap in Belgium, so we should try it. Not really a mussel fan, but then it still tasted not bad. So long as the food is good, I'm a happy man. (Tip for the gals: The best way to Mingmong's heart is through his stomach. heh.)
Went back to our room which we had all to ourselves and played cards till we KOed. The next morning we had to catch a train down to Amsterdam.
Check out our bags (especially mine). Slowly you might notice that it gets bigger in size, things start to be hanging outside the bag and I have more things in hand. Think I started the trip with the heaviest bag pack at 18 kg.
En route to Amsterdam for 2 nights...
Shall type again tomorrow or smtg. Pissed off by blogspot for tonight.
P/S Alex is missing cos he only joined us in Berlin. He went to Copenhagen first.
Mingmong _ c r a p p e d _ @ 8:27 PM |
