The day has finally come. I will be flying off in 5 hours. A disgustingly long 13hr flight awaits me. Once again, I still am unable to get those front row seats where no one sits in front of you. Its really irritating to see short-farts taking those seats when tall people like me are the ones who really need the leg room. Got myself an aisle seat, but hopefully those sitting beside me will not have a running tap under their pants and wake me up from my slumber.
Flying has always been a dreaded affair since I was young. It all began when I was probably 4 when I took my first plane ride to Penang. All I remember from that trip was having a pain in my ears, and puking for the rest of the day. Don't remember anything else about that trip at all. Then came my next ride when I was 9. I was fooling around with other children in the tour group on the plane, and soon I realised I was giddy, and some serious stomach hurling followed, all the way to the hotel in Perth. And since then, travelling has become a chore, especially long haul flights, which was much longer in the past when aviation technology was inferior. A trip to Los Angeles took me 20 hours with a transit in Tokyo. That was pure hell for an 10 year old boy plagued with air-sickness.
What's interesting about this "sickness" of mine is that it is not motion induced. Its evident since I already start feeling queezy and sometimes even puke before the plane even takes off. After years of mental and physical torment, I sniffed out the cause of my human-to-merlion transformation. I attribute it to the smell of brewing coffee in the cabin. I don't get affected by the smell of coffee on land, but somehow, the smell of coffee in the airplane is just different.
So anyway, I finally got over my spewing spells once I hit 18. Realised it when I started frequent trips overseas after a 4 year hiatus. Managed to get through most of my flights since then unscathed, barring a few times where I just retched to make myself feel better. Although I have not suffered serious bouts of violent heaving in a long time, I still feel the pre-flight gitters, fearing a relapse. Barfing is definitely not on my favourites list. Which is prolly why I decided that getting piss drunk is dumb. Hopefully, this time I will be fine again.
This is just one of those quirky traits of the mingmongster. Another would be my abhorrence for Bee Hoon, which is another story altogether.
Anyway, as a preventive measure, I always try to sleep most of the journey on the plane. Neither do I eat much of the food they serve on board. Neither do I go to the toilet much. And only when I feel good inside, I will stay up to watch the movies. Therefore, I think I am the perfect customer for the airliners. Unlike Alex, who shamelessly proclaimed that he drinks as much as he can on his flights. Stewardesses loathe him for constantly pressing the call button. Passengers shun him for his drunken stupor. Airliners wish they have less of him on their flights. The only time I think he fits in well with the other passengers is when he flies to/from India. I hear the Indians are alcohol guzzlers on board. Probably because its free.
Personally, I don't maximize my air fare in the same way. The only time I make the stewardesses work for me is when I hand them my stomach juice filled air sickness bags to dispose of. I've always wondered what they do with it. Do they chuck it down the toilet bowl? Which reminds me of another thing I've always wondered about. Do they store the shit and pee in the plane while its in the air? Or do they release it sometime during the flight? If they do release it, I suppose its over the sea, since we don't ever see shit/pee falling from the sky. Only things that fall from the sky are: rain, dead birds, planes (choy! lucky I'm typing on a wooden table), and mangoes.
Funnily, as much as I hate flying, I love travelling. I hope that someday, someone will invent a teleport machine.
Anyway, as I type this, I am talking to Winnie, not the Pooh. She's telling me the type of guy she is attracted to...
Winnie: I like someone with ambition and determination, knows what he wants and how to get there and is doing something about it.
What it really means... Winnie likes someone who will have a good career and earn big bucks, so that she can sit at home and be a tai tai and shake leg and spend all his money.
Winnie: I like someone who can communicate with me, and I can be quite extreme in temperament, so he has to take it.
What it really means... Winnie likes someone whom she can bully. Keeping quiet and not complaining when being bullied constitutes being able to communicate with Winnie.
Winnie: I like someone who can be fun, and boring at times too, cos I can be very boring. I just wanna stay home and read my book.
What it really means... Winnie is a boring girl. She likes nerds who only stay home and read books with her.
She just had a recent Hong Kong trip with frens. She was with 2 couples and a single guy. On that single guy, whom she denies having any romance blossoming during the trip...
Winnie: I believe in attraction. For that other guy on the trip, there wasn't any.
What it really means... The other guy on the trip is butt ugly, thus Winnie was not attracted to him.
Sometimes, its really easy to decipher what girls really mean. Heh.
Alrites, time to rest and prepare to check in. Maybe I'll blog when I can when I'm over there. If lucky, maybe can upload photos.
I'm back from the dive trip to Tioman. Finally, I've completed my open water course after a 2 year wait. Hopefully I will get to do my advance soon.
Anyway, grouchy dive instructor aside, the trip was not too bad. The trip there was bloody long. Took a 3 hr bus ride and a 3 hour boat ride. Arrived in Tioman at 12 midnight. Paying $360 for a open water course plus meals, accomodation, equipment rental and transport, I thought it was a real steal. Even my Dad found it unbelievably cheap. I was told we would be staying at a resort with aircon and attached toilets. I think if you were to go to Tioman for a 4 day holiday and stay at a resort, you would pay about that price or even more, but less the diving. However, I guess I had high expectations because the resort was not really a "resort". Although its called Salang Resort, its more like a chalet type accomodation. Quite shabby but at least there was aircon and a toilet. I'm not too fussy about sleeping around anyway (alternative meaning does not apply here).
So after the neverending boat ride to the island, I was dead tired and waiting out side the resort for our room keys when I was bolted out of my weary daze by bombs raining down on us. Looking up to the sky, I realised we were standing below a mango tree. And every few minutes, a mango would drop. One mango hit a girl. Ha. It was practically raining mangoes.
Anyway, I had the privilege to sleep with the NTU dive comm since I kinda knew most of them and I went alone, so I got to sleep in a twin room while the other pple shared quads. However, my twin became a triplet because we had some room shuffling among us and stuff, and this other guy had to come sleep with me and my roomie cos his original roomie wants the room with his friend (girl). Great. So put 2 twin beds together and sleep 3 guys on it. Rule was: smallest guy sleeps in the hole in the middle since less weight means less likely to push the beds apart and fall into the hole. Fortunately, I am born big (alternative pun intended). Ha.
So the next morning we went out for our dives. First day was all training dives so wasn't much fun and little stuff to see cos it was all the training sites. Was quite nervous at first about descending down into the sea cos I was afraid of not being able to equalise since I have a little sinus problem. Nevertheless, found it surprisingly easy to equalise and after 2 dives, I was at ease underwater.
One major problem I had, and some others too, was that it was bloody cold underwater. Especially during the training dives where we have to just stay at one spot and do all those drills and wait while the instructor checks on the others. So without much movement, less heat produced in the body and I started shivering. And its really wonderful how the human body naturally protects itself with homeostasis. Everyone shivers when we're cold. A natural reflex to help generate some heat through these muscular contractions. But, we also pee more when we're cold. And this is definitely the one that I love most! Let me explain...
A wet suit keeps u warm underwater by trapping a thin film of water between your body and the wet suit. If the wet suit is too loose or overstretched, the water in the suit will move in and out more freely and thus heat will be conducted away by the water quickly. So, now this comes back to my previous point. When I was cold underwater, I peed. Unlike peeing in swimming pools where it probably just flows out of your trunks into the pool for others to enjoy/drink etc, peeing in your wet suit is different. The pee probably gets trapped in your wet suit. Disgusting as it may sound, you are practically soaked in your own pee. However, when you're cold and shivering underwater and waiting for you instructor to settle the slow bah kahs' drills, you would relish as much pee as you can get man! The gush of warm pee moving up your body through your wet suit, oh my god, is as good as sipping hot tea in winter. And somehow, I think my body knew I loved it cos I peed quite a few times each dive. Ha. My dive buddy didn't seem to like the idea of swimming in her pee. But after a few dives, she succumbed to the cold. Ha.
Gross stuff aside, my PMS instructor was awfully sweet during the trip. Never scold, suan, scream etc. Think she was kinda restraining herself cos I think the dive comm pple did talk to the instructors about not being too strict. Oh well, my instructor being sweet was a little awkward, but so long as she doesn't keep biting my head off, I'm fine.
Visibility was quite poor at most of the dive sites. Didn't really see many exotic marine life as I hoped for. I guess apart from the usual fish we expect to see, only the turtles, the Giant Garoupa and a few big bum-head parrot fish are the more memorable ones. I think the Nemos are the cutest fish in the see. Watching them play among the anemonaes is a joy to watch. Other not so memorable stuff were getting stung by a small jelly fish, and descending into a "mine field" on the seabed. I hear that if you get stung by jellyfish, you have to pee on the wound cos the ammonia somehow cures the sting or something. I didn't bother though, even though the rest of my body was covered in pee, but the thought of peeing directly on my arm... NAH! I pity anyone who gets stung on the face by a jellyfish. Or maybe the lips would be worse.
In another dive, we descended onto a "mine field" of sea urchins. The seabed was filled with those black spikey creatures. Had to watch where we stepped while clearing the area to allow us to kneel down for the drills. And while watching those black balls of spikes, I realised why I was so disgusted by the sight of it. They resembled spiders, my worst nemesis. I hate spiders by the way. Not small ones, huge ones, partly cos my house used to have frequent visits by huge spiders when I was young. A forrest used to stand opposite my house where Selarang Camp now stands.
Also, I had this Bah kah in my group. He's a weak swimmer, so I guess he's not too comfortable in the water. So I shan't fault him for that. Also won't fault him for being an oxygen guzzler, since if he's uncomfortable in water, he breathes more heavily and quickly. But, other than that, he gets a little irritating in the water. Once, I think he was quite kan cheong and din want to lose sight of the instructor, so he finned forward to get closer. He came past me and pushed me aside. WTF! Nevermind, give chance. Then I stay right at the back, so I won't get caught in the crowd trying to follow the instructor, then I get kicked in the face by his flippers. WTF! Nevermind, give chance. Then in one dive, he disappeared halfway. Alamak. Then as a protocol, the instructor will have to ascend to look for him. And since instructor goes up, we all have to go up too. Haiz. But I guess I was luckier. Another guy got "attacked by the KC spider (Kan Cheong Spider). Dunno why he suddenly panic underwater, the he wanted to grab on to something. And the nearest thing he could grab, was this other guy's regulator. I think that guy also panic sia. Someone trying to yank his regulator out of his mouth. Haha.
So basically, was a good experience but didn't see as much as I hoped for. The final night we had a BBQ, and of course beer. And that was when I was hit by a mango. Luckily not on the head, but on the shoulder, just missed my head by a bit. Karma for gloating at the girl on the first night who got hit. Anyway, we figured why the mangoes were raining down from the tree. We suspect that its the work of this monkey that roams around the trees in the area. Must be plucking the mangoes and throwing them at us.
Reminds me of another irritating kampong animal. The bloody rooster. CB, the first night we slept so late and the next morning had to get up at 630 for early morning dive. I think I only fell asleep at 4 because the bed was uncomfortable and 3 guys on 2 beds is not exactly that spacious. Then just as I slipped into my slumber, this bloody rooster started crowing at 530am. Non-stop. Moron, the sun wasn't even up!
Then after the 2nd night, the girls next door and my dive buddy found their bikini bottoms missing after they hung it outside to dry at night. Definitely got stolen by some pervert. haha. Boy were they pissed. Wonder why the hell people steal such stuff for. Prepare for the premiere of Batman Begins? On a grosser note, maybe they want to experience the scent of a woman. But then, guess the pervert must have been disappointed cos I bet it only smelt of seawater, or pee. Muahaha.
Some final notes: I am happy Liverfool won the CL. Though I am not a fan, and used to not like them since I am a MU fan, but now I think Arse and Liverfool are all good for me. The Arses play nice football, and the Liverfools have a great coach and are starting to look like they are playing real football. Its a pity they were plagues with so many injuries this season. I reckon they will be a force to be reckoned with next season. Common enemy now is Chelsea. Especially MORONho. American Idol. Waiting for the results show. I like Bo Bice, but sounds like Carrie is rigged to win it. Tomorrow is results day. Hopefully its good news. Got to go for another assessment for that job. Special case for me only, cos they wanna have a look at one component of my final assessment again. Guess its probably good news since its not an outright rejection but it sounds like they want me but just want to be sure about it cos I was overshadowed by an experienced trader in the trading simulation component. Finally, I will be flying off on Monday night with the Fags and the Bag. I realised FAG should be Four Accountancy Graduates and not Five. Because I don't wanna be a FAG. So it shall be Mingmong, the FAGS and the BAG. Effectively 2 days to study for CFA. Think I am gonna buang the exam. Sian.
Oh, I have been wondering...There are people that visit my humble blog that can't really identify. Like orange county and annoymous and annoymous and annoymous etc. Do I know you guys? Or have we never met?
Its been a while since I wrote something. Well, my school exams were over 2 weeks ago. Been kinda busy since then. Having dive lessons, interviews for my dream job which I hope I'll get, meeting up with the eurotrip guys, clearing out my hostel room, playing mahjong, and least of all studying for my CFA. On top of that, I don't have an internet connection to my own computer because I've yet to buy a network cable long enough so sitting down at the comp is not something I do at home, unlike in hall where I practically sit in front of the comp the whole day.
I've recently set a personal best for mahjong. I lost $100 in a night in 3 rounds playing 20/40. Amazing as it sounds, yes I did it. Courtesy of 2 paos max and further outflows of chips to big wins by wilSHEN and Huijing. $100...I wonder who can ever break my record man. Sounds more like the stakes were 50/1 or something. I don't know why I keep playing despite being raped by serial rapist Huijing all the time. Maybe I am just waiting for a day where it will become my turn to rape her over and over again. But for now, Teckie and I and Alex are all victims of her insatiable desire to suck us dry.
In other news, I've finally learnt how to breathe underwater. Although the lessons were just in a 2 metre deep pool, come monday I'll be heading to Tioman to find Nemo. Apart from getting screwed over by my female instructor, it was not bad so far. The instructor I got has a real attitude. First day I arrived late at 10am and the first thing she said to me was "You're late! Its supposed to start at 9am!". I said, "Oh sorry, but I thought its 930". She said "Even so, you're still late". I was like WTF?! I am paying to dive and not paying you to scold me. Nevermind, I tiam tiam. Then when getting ready the equipment, I dumped my fins on the floor. Dumped = dropped its rather than squat down to place it gently on the floor like its a vase. Then immediately she said to everyone, "guys, I hope you treat your equipment with care since you're renting it. Especially your fins, they can break also. There was one guy who broke the fins he rented by dropping it on the boat, and it was brand new even". While saying that, she stole a few menacing glances at me through the corner of her eye. I was like WTF!??! Nevermind, I tiam tiam. Then when I came home, I checked my email. There was an email from the dive centre reminding us of the lesson the next day. I read it and went WTF?!?!. This was part of what it said...
"Please remember that tomorrow's lesson is at 10am. We have a very serious problem of punctuality among the group of you. Some of you were even as late as 1 hour today."
Even when I got home, she wouldn't let it go. WTF!?!? I hope she gets poked in the ass by a swordfish one day.
Finally moved out of my hostel. Almost broke my back in the process. Shifting big heavy stuff down 3 levels. Thankfully Alex volunteer some help. He got his dad's company pickup and helped move all the bulky stuff home for me. Saved me the time, money and trouble renting a van or smtg. Furthermore, he helped a little with loading the pickup. And, as he said, I have a highly qualified driver, a Graduate Ahmad. The pickup is munual, and I haven't worked a stick since I got my license. Anyway, to reward him for his services, we had dinner at Fisherman's Village and I paid. Apart from the $20 jug of heiniken, the $50 hawker food was a rip off. Think the prices at fisherman's village is absurd. And it doesn't even taste that good. But oh well, rather than renting a van for the about the same amount, rather spend it on food and beer. Now that all the stuff is home, its just piled up at one corner. Gotta redesign and furnish my room now that I've returned home after 5 years of not staying home.
Just as I was almost resigned to entering the audit death knell, a lifeline was thrown at me out of the blue. Been interviewing for this job which seems like the perfect job for me. Never expected to get into the final round, but somehow it all just happened, and what started out as a go for fun thing became something which I really want. Getting this job will probably change my life in the future man. Well, but I guess if I don't get it, I can be proud of the fact that I'm the remaining 20 out of abt 1500 applicants from Singapore and China. They flew 10 China pple down here to stay in Mandarin for 3 nights btw. And added perks I had for the final round of 2 day interviews? 1 8 course dinner at Mandarin, and 1 lunch at the Top of the M. The revolving thing does make u dizzy. Ha.
Yesterday, I met up with the Eurotrip guys to change money and finalise our plans. I call ourselves, The FAGs with a BAG. This means: The Five Accountancy Graduates with a Biz Ad Graduate. Had the most embarassing time yesterday while changing money. Alex wanted to get the BEST exchange rates so we had to go down to Arab Street. Just nice, we were just opposite Zam Zams and I brought them there for the best mutarbak you can have in Singapore. They all agreed. Anyway, we changed like about 8000 worth of money. Suddenly we realised we were shortchanged. We suspected that the uncle hid $50 away secretly while we weren't looking and then told us we gave him $50 less. We argued with the uncle for like half an hour or something while trying to figure out whether he's trying to cheat us or we miscounted or something. We were certain we gave him the correct amount and he was indeed trying to cheat us. Finally, he wanted to close his shop cos it was way past his closing time already (becos of us). So he said he will go do his accounts and if he finds an extra $50, he'll call us. We had no choice but to accept it and accept the fact that we were cheated. Just as we were counting our euro currencies and about to leave, I asked Gary, "how much Swiss Francs did you change?" Gary said, "oh shit, I didn't give $100 for Swiss Francs yet. I just gave for the Euros I wanted to change." -_- Wah liew, damn paiseh man. Had to say sorry to the uncles at the shop for accusing them of cheating us and holding them up and all. Bloody hell. Gary, future banker, making such a grave mistake. I forsee the headlines, "HSBC banker withholds cash negligently in forex trading payments, leading to billions in losses". And if you were wondering, if Gary din give $100, and we were $50 short, why is there an extra $50? Well, we figured that the only way for that to happen is for ALEX, who did the final count and handed over the money, gave him $50 less. ALEX, future auditor and potential trader/banker, make this kinda mistake. I forsee the headlines, "Auditor negligent in cash reconciliation causes Deloitte & Touche billions in legal fees".
Anyway, we'll be bringing a small set to Europe to help kill time and also maybe introduce the game to the Europeans. Ha. Word has it that Lady Jing plans to play a round before each meal/before getting the bill.
On a lighter note, its funny how people have been speculating about my love life. Friends, and family included. However, I'm sorry to declare that these are all groundless speculations. The recent months have been filled with relationship activitiy. Some have broken up while in 2 different countries, others have broken up after coming back from a country. Whats funny is that now the 2 separate individuals involved in those situations will be going to another country. Just pure coincidence and perfect timing maybe? On the other hand, some have gotten together, which has come as a shock to most people who were kept out of the loop. I still think that the exam period where people study together is the time when ALOT of people get involved or develop relationships. Proven time and again. However, in this camp, love activity has drawn a naught.
IN VIEW OF THE RECENT PUBLIC OUTRAGE OVER BLOGGERS BASHING GUYS/GIRLS OPENLY IN THEIR BLOGS, THE RISK AVERSE MINGMONGSTER HAS DECIDED THAT THIS PORTION OF THE POST BE DELETED IN CASE THE MINGMONGSTER HIMSELF GETS FEATURED ON THE NEWSPAPERS AS WELL.
HOWEVER, DIVE INSTRUCTOR BASHING HAS NOT CAUSED ANY DISSENT AMONG THE GENERAL POPULATION AND THUS MY DIVE INSTRUCTOR REMAINS BASHED ON THE MINGMONGSTER.
Ok, I think I've digressed immensely. Time to study a little. A $1500 investment is at stake.
Disclaimer: Nothing in this post is aimed at anyone, anything, any situation or any dive instuctor in particular. Don't sue me.
Partial freedom in 1 day. Mingmong _ c r a p p e d _ @ 1:26 AM |
Night @ Wala's
Sunday, May 01, 2005
Well, seems like there was some activity in my routine life recently. After the paper on Friday, I decided to take a break for the afternoon and watched Coach Carter on my comp. Good show. But I guess it only applies to me cos I have a thing for inspirational sports shows. For example, my all time favourite sports show was Remember the Titans. Coach Carter is not really as inspiring or moving, but the themes were different. Coach Carter's theme revolves around discipline and being that all-rounded individual in both sports and studies. Though its the same old predictable storyline about how a losing team gets transformed into a winning team, but this is the kinda show that I somehow take to.
Anyway, I did plan to resume studying that night but then Alex decided to play the devil's advocate and asked me and his gf at Wala's. Trying hard not to succumb to temptation, I rejected him. However, I soon discovered that Pingpong, Ryan, Jane and gang were all heading down there too cos they finished their last paper already. Since Ryan was coming to pick Pingpong from hall (hmmm...dubious), I decided to take the free ride and go down too. Later I also found out that some of my buds were also going! Wonder why everyone had the same inkling that day, but the more the merrier!
Sat with the "exam-over" gang for a while as they had their dinner before I went over to join Alex at Wala's. I don't know whether it was the weather that night, or just the pressence of certain people at the table, but it was really quite hot. I think its probably because of the 2 hottest people in NBS sitting at the table with us. One of whom was our April Hunk, Leon and the supposed April Babe Jane (who was unfortunately replaced by Fiona because she showed me her open fly).
Ryan was feeling so hot he had to go to 7-11 to get some air-con. We couldn't get a seat inside the restaurant also and that made it worse.
While everyone else was feeling hot, Kailin remained oblivious to the heat because there were more important matters bothering her: her stomach.
Anyway, I went over to Wala's to join Alex. Got myself some meatballs (good stuff!) and Wala's wings (even better stuff!) and some Boddingtons. Basket, Alex is getting from bad to worse. His PDA is getting too much for me to handle. Next time I will think twice about being alone with him and Fiona.
EIC plays at Wala's on Friday nights. They're really good I must say. Only reason why I would go Wala's considering the steep beer prices.
My buds came along late and Alex left a while after they came. Saved me from more graphic displays of affection.
Great night out with the guys and good way to relax after studying for so long.
I think Kim Liang is really changing. Though he is changing for the good, but sometimes I think he's also getting a bit crazy. I mean, sometimes the way he acts/looks, you'd jus know he's becoming a moron by just looking at him.
Its back to the same routine again now.
I've learnt something today: I should not assume things. When Eu Ming assumes, he is an ass. Why? Because he is ASS-EUMING.
p/s. Realised I wrote wrongly in one of the pics above. Supposed to be "Whose" not "Who's". Lazy to change.
The day has finally come. I will be flying off in 5 hours. A disgustingly long 13hr flight awaits me. Once again, I still am unable to get those front row seats where no one sits in front of you. Its really irritating to see short-farts taking those seats when tall people like me are the ones who really need the leg room. Got myself an aisle seat, but hopefully those sitting beside me will not have a running tap under their pants and wake me up from my slumber.
Flying has always been a dreaded affair since I was young. It all began when I was probably 4 when I took my first plane ride to Penang. All I remember from that trip was having a pain in my ears, and puking for the rest of the day. Don't remember anything else about that trip at all. Then came my next ride when I was 9. I was fooling around with other children in the tour group on the plane, and soon I realised I was giddy, and some serious stomach hurling followed, all the way to the hotel in Perth. And since then, travelling has become a chore, especially long haul flights, which was much longer in the past when aviation technology was inferior. A trip to Los Angeles took me 20 hours with a transit in Tokyo. That was pure hell for an 10 year old boy plagued with air-sickness.
What's interesting about this "sickness" of mine is that it is not motion induced. Its evident since I already start feeling queezy and sometimes even puke before the plane even takes off. After years of mental and physical torment, I sniffed out the cause of my human-to-merlion transformation. I attribute it to the smell of brewing coffee in the cabin. I don't get affected by the smell of coffee on land, but somehow, the smell of coffee in the airplane is just different.
So anyway, I finally got over my spewing spells once I hit 18. Realised it when I started frequent trips overseas after a 4 year hiatus. Managed to get through most of my flights since then unscathed, barring a few times where I just retched to make myself feel better. Although I have not suffered serious bouts of violent heaving in a long time, I still feel the pre-flight gitters, fearing a relapse. Barfing is definitely not on my favourites list. Which is prolly why I decided that getting piss drunk is dumb. Hopefully, this time I will be fine again.
This is just one of those quirky traits of the mingmongster. Another would be my abhorrence for Bee Hoon, which is another story altogether.
Anyway, as a preventive measure, I always try to sleep most of the journey on the plane. Neither do I eat much of the food they serve on board. Neither do I go to the toilet much. And only when I feel good inside, I will stay up to watch the movies. Therefore, I think I am the perfect customer for the airliners. Unlike Alex, who shamelessly proclaimed that he drinks as much as he can on his flights. Stewardesses loathe him for constantly pressing the call button. Passengers shun him for his drunken stupor. Airliners wish they have less of him on their flights. The only time I think he fits in well with the other passengers is when he flies to/from India. I hear the Indians are alcohol guzzlers on board. Probably because its free.
Personally, I don't maximize my air fare in the same way. The only time I make the stewardesses work for me is when I hand them my stomach juice filled air sickness bags to dispose of. I've always wondered what they do with it. Do they chuck it down the toilet bowl? Which reminds me of another thing I've always wondered about. Do they store the shit and pee in the plane while its in the air? Or do they release it sometime during the flight? If they do release it, I suppose its over the sea, since we don't ever see shit/pee falling from the sky. Only things that fall from the sky are: rain, dead birds, planes (choy! lucky I'm typing on a wooden table), and mangoes.
Funnily, as much as I hate flying, I love travelling. I hope that someday, someone will invent a teleport machine.
Anyway, as I type this, I am talking to Winnie, not the Pooh. She's telling me the type of guy she is attracted to...
Winnie: I like someone with ambition and determination, knows what he wants and how to get there and is doing something about it.
What it really means... Winnie likes someone who will have a good career and earn big bucks, so that she can sit at home and be a tai tai and shake leg and spend all his money.
Winnie: I like someone who can communicate with me, and I can be quite extreme in temperament, so he has to take it.
What it really means... Winnie likes someone whom she can bully. Keeping quiet and not complaining when being bullied constitutes being able to communicate with Winnie.
Winnie: I like someone who can be fun, and boring at times too, cos I can be very boring. I just wanna stay home and read my book.
What it really means... Winnie is a boring girl. She likes nerds who only stay home and read books with her.
She just had a recent Hong Kong trip with frens. She was with 2 couples and a single guy. On that single guy, whom she denies having any romance blossoming during the trip...
Winnie: I believe in attraction. For that other guy on the trip, there wasn't any.
What it really means... The other guy on the trip is butt ugly, thus Winnie was not attracted to him.
Sometimes, its really easy to decipher what girls really mean. Heh.
Alrites, time to rest and prepare to check in. Maybe I'll blog when I can when I'm over there. If lucky, maybe can upload photos.
I'm back from the dive trip to Tioman. Finally, I've completed my open water course after a 2 year wait. Hopefully I will get to do my advance soon.
Anyway, grouchy dive instructor aside, the trip was not too bad. The trip there was bloody long. Took a 3 hr bus ride and a 3 hour boat ride. Arrived in Tioman at 12 midnight. Paying $360 for a open water course plus meals, accomodation, equipment rental and transport, I thought it was a real steal. Even my Dad found it unbelievably cheap. I was told we would be staying at a resort with aircon and attached toilets. I think if you were to go to Tioman for a 4 day holiday and stay at a resort, you would pay about that price or even more, but less the diving. However, I guess I had high expectations because the resort was not really a "resort". Although its called Salang Resort, its more like a chalet type accomodation. Quite shabby but at least there was aircon and a toilet. I'm not too fussy about sleeping around anyway (alternative meaning does not apply here).
So after the neverending boat ride to the island, I was dead tired and waiting out side the resort for our room keys when I was bolted out of my weary daze by bombs raining down on us. Looking up to the sky, I realised we were standing below a mango tree. And every few minutes, a mango would drop. One mango hit a girl. Ha. It was practically raining mangoes.
Anyway, I had the privilege to sleep with the NTU dive comm since I kinda knew most of them and I went alone, so I got to sleep in a twin room while the other pple shared quads. However, my twin became a triplet because we had some room shuffling among us and stuff, and this other guy had to come sleep with me and my roomie cos his original roomie wants the room with his friend (girl). Great. So put 2 twin beds together and sleep 3 guys on it. Rule was: smallest guy sleeps in the hole in the middle since less weight means less likely to push the beds apart and fall into the hole. Fortunately, I am born big (alternative pun intended). Ha.
So the next morning we went out for our dives. First day was all training dives so wasn't much fun and little stuff to see cos it was all the training sites. Was quite nervous at first about descending down into the sea cos I was afraid of not being able to equalise since I have a little sinus problem. Nevertheless, found it surprisingly easy to equalise and after 2 dives, I was at ease underwater.
One major problem I had, and some others too, was that it was bloody cold underwater. Especially during the training dives where we have to just stay at one spot and do all those drills and wait while the instructor checks on the others. So without much movement, less heat produced in the body and I started shivering. And its really wonderful how the human body naturally protects itself with homeostasis. Everyone shivers when we're cold. A natural reflex to help generate some heat through these muscular contractions. But, we also pee more when we're cold. And this is definitely the one that I love most! Let me explain...
A wet suit keeps u warm underwater by trapping a thin film of water between your body and the wet suit. If the wet suit is too loose or overstretched, the water in the suit will move in and out more freely and thus heat will be conducted away by the water quickly. So, now this comes back to my previous point. When I was cold underwater, I peed. Unlike peeing in swimming pools where it probably just flows out of your trunks into the pool for others to enjoy/drink etc, peeing in your wet suit is different. The pee probably gets trapped in your wet suit. Disgusting as it may sound, you are practically soaked in your own pee. However, when you're cold and shivering underwater and waiting for you instructor to settle the slow bah kahs' drills, you would relish as much pee as you can get man! The gush of warm pee moving up your body through your wet suit, oh my god, is as good as sipping hot tea in winter. And somehow, I think my body knew I loved it cos I peed quite a few times each dive. Ha. My dive buddy didn't seem to like the idea of swimming in her pee. But after a few dives, she succumbed to the cold. Ha.
Gross stuff aside, my PMS instructor was awfully sweet during the trip. Never scold, suan, scream etc. Think she was kinda restraining herself cos I think the dive comm pple did talk to the instructors about not being too strict. Oh well, my instructor being sweet was a little awkward, but so long as she doesn't keep biting my head off, I'm fine.
Visibility was quite poor at most of the dive sites. Didn't really see many exotic marine life as I hoped for. I guess apart from the usual fish we expect to see, only the turtles, the Giant Garoupa and a few big bum-head parrot fish are the more memorable ones. I think the Nemos are the cutest fish in the see. Watching them play among the anemonaes is a joy to watch. Other not so memorable stuff were getting stung by a small jelly fish, and descending into a "mine field" on the seabed. I hear that if you get stung by jellyfish, you have to pee on the wound cos the ammonia somehow cures the sting or something. I didn't bother though, even though the rest of my body was covered in pee, but the thought of peeing directly on my arm... NAH! I pity anyone who gets stung on the face by a jellyfish. Or maybe the lips would be worse.
In another dive, we descended onto a "mine field" of sea urchins. The seabed was filled with those black spikey creatures. Had to watch where we stepped while clearing the area to allow us to kneel down for the drills. And while watching those black balls of spikes, I realised why I was so disgusted by the sight of it. They resembled spiders, my worst nemesis. I hate spiders by the way. Not small ones, huge ones, partly cos my house used to have frequent visits by huge spiders when I was young. A forrest used to stand opposite my house where Selarang Camp now stands.
Also, I had this Bah kah in my group. He's a weak swimmer, so I guess he's not too comfortable in the water. So I shan't fault him for that. Also won't fault him for being an oxygen guzzler, since if he's uncomfortable in water, he breathes more heavily and quickly. But, other than that, he gets a little irritating in the water. Once, I think he was quite kan cheong and din want to lose sight of the instructor, so he finned forward to get closer. He came past me and pushed me aside. WTF! Nevermind, give chance. Then I stay right at the back, so I won't get caught in the crowd trying to follow the instructor, then I get kicked in the face by his flippers. WTF! Nevermind, give chance. Then in one dive, he disappeared halfway. Alamak. Then as a protocol, the instructor will have to ascend to look for him. And since instructor goes up, we all have to go up too. Haiz. But I guess I was luckier. Another guy got "attacked by the KC spider (Kan Cheong Spider). Dunno why he suddenly panic underwater, the he wanted to grab on to something. And the nearest thing he could grab, was this other guy's regulator. I think that guy also panic sia. Someone trying to yank his regulator out of his mouth. Haha.
So basically, was a good experience but didn't see as much as I hoped for. The final night we had a BBQ, and of course beer. And that was when I was hit by a mango. Luckily not on the head, but on the shoulder, just missed my head by a bit. Karma for gloating at the girl on the first night who got hit. Anyway, we figured why the mangoes were raining down from the tree. We suspect that its the work of this monkey that roams around the trees in the area. Must be plucking the mangoes and throwing them at us.
Reminds me of another irritating kampong animal. The bloody rooster. CB, the first night we slept so late and the next morning had to get up at 630 for early morning dive. I think I only fell asleep at 4 because the bed was uncomfortable and 3 guys on 2 beds is not exactly that spacious. Then just as I slipped into my slumber, this bloody rooster started crowing at 530am. Non-stop. Moron, the sun wasn't even up!
Then after the 2nd night, the girls next door and my dive buddy found their bikini bottoms missing after they hung it outside to dry at night. Definitely got stolen by some pervert. haha. Boy were they pissed. Wonder why the hell people steal such stuff for. Prepare for the premiere of Batman Begins? On a grosser note, maybe they want to experience the scent of a woman. But then, guess the pervert must have been disappointed cos I bet it only smelt of seawater, or pee. Muahaha.
Some final notes: I am happy Liverfool won the CL. Though I am not a fan, and used to not like them since I am a MU fan, but now I think Arse and Liverfool are all good for me. The Arses play nice football, and the Liverfools have a great coach and are starting to look like they are playing real football. Its a pity they were plagues with so many injuries this season. I reckon they will be a force to be reckoned with next season. Common enemy now is Chelsea. Especially MORONho. American Idol. Waiting for the results show. I like Bo Bice, but sounds like Carrie is rigged to win it. Tomorrow is results day. Hopefully its good news. Got to go for another assessment for that job. Special case for me only, cos they wanna have a look at one component of my final assessment again. Guess its probably good news since its not an outright rejection but it sounds like they want me but just want to be sure about it cos I was overshadowed by an experienced trader in the trading simulation component. Finally, I will be flying off on Monday night with the Fags and the Bag. I realised FAG should be Four Accountancy Graduates and not Five. Because I don't wanna be a FAG. So it shall be Mingmong, the FAGS and the BAG. Effectively 2 days to study for CFA. Think I am gonna buang the exam. Sian.
Oh, I have been wondering...There are people that visit my humble blog that can't really identify. Like orange county and annoymous and annoymous and annoymous etc. Do I know you guys? Or have we never met?
Its been a while since I wrote something. Well, my school exams were over 2 weeks ago. Been kinda busy since then. Having dive lessons, interviews for my dream job which I hope I'll get, meeting up with the eurotrip guys, clearing out my hostel room, playing mahjong, and least of all studying for my CFA. On top of that, I don't have an internet connection to my own computer because I've yet to buy a network cable long enough so sitting down at the comp is not something I do at home, unlike in hall where I practically sit in front of the comp the whole day.
I've recently set a personal best for mahjong. I lost $100 in a night in 3 rounds playing 20/40. Amazing as it sounds, yes I did it. Courtesy of 2 paos max and further outflows of chips to big wins by wilSHEN and Huijing. $100...I wonder who can ever break my record man. Sounds more like the stakes were 50/1 or something. I don't know why I keep playing despite being raped by serial rapist Huijing all the time. Maybe I am just waiting for a day where it will become my turn to rape her over and over again. But for now, Teckie and I and Alex are all victims of her insatiable desire to suck us dry.
In other news, I've finally learnt how to breathe underwater. Although the lessons were just in a 2 metre deep pool, come monday I'll be heading to Tioman to find Nemo. Apart from getting screwed over by my female instructor, it was not bad so far. The instructor I got has a real attitude. First day I arrived late at 10am and the first thing she said to me was "You're late! Its supposed to start at 9am!". I said, "Oh sorry, but I thought its 930". She said "Even so, you're still late". I was like WTF?! I am paying to dive and not paying you to scold me. Nevermind, I tiam tiam. Then when getting ready the equipment, I dumped my fins on the floor. Dumped = dropped its rather than squat down to place it gently on the floor like its a vase. Then immediately she said to everyone, "guys, I hope you treat your equipment with care since you're renting it. Especially your fins, they can break also. There was one guy who broke the fins he rented by dropping it on the boat, and it was brand new even". While saying that, she stole a few menacing glances at me through the corner of her eye. I was like WTF!??! Nevermind, I tiam tiam. Then when I came home, I checked my email. There was an email from the dive centre reminding us of the lesson the next day. I read it and went WTF?!?!. This was part of what it said...
"Please remember that tomorrow's lesson is at 10am. We have a very serious problem of punctuality among the group of you. Some of you were even as late as 1 hour today."
Even when I got home, she wouldn't let it go. WTF!?!? I hope she gets poked in the ass by a swordfish one day.
Finally moved out of my hostel. Almost broke my back in the process. Shifting big heavy stuff down 3 levels. Thankfully Alex volunteer some help. He got his dad's company pickup and helped move all the bulky stuff home for me. Saved me the time, money and trouble renting a van or smtg. Furthermore, he helped a little with loading the pickup. And, as he said, I have a highly qualified driver, a Graduate Ahmad. The pickup is munual, and I haven't worked a stick since I got my license. Anyway, to reward him for his services, we had dinner at Fisherman's Village and I paid. Apart from the $20 jug of heiniken, the $50 hawker food was a rip off. Think the prices at fisherman's village is absurd. And it doesn't even taste that good. But oh well, rather than renting a van for the about the same amount, rather spend it on food and beer. Now that all the stuff is home, its just piled up at one corner. Gotta redesign and furnish my room now that I've returned home after 5 years of not staying home.
Just as I was almost resigned to entering the audit death knell, a lifeline was thrown at me out of the blue. Been interviewing for this job which seems like the perfect job for me. Never expected to get into the final round, but somehow it all just happened, and what started out as a go for fun thing became something which I really want. Getting this job will probably change my life in the future man. Well, but I guess if I don't get it, I can be proud of the fact that I'm the remaining 20 out of abt 1500 applicants from Singapore and China. They flew 10 China pple down here to stay in Mandarin for 3 nights btw. And added perks I had for the final round of 2 day interviews? 1 8 course dinner at Mandarin, and 1 lunch at the Top of the M. The revolving thing does make u dizzy. Ha.
Yesterday, I met up with the Eurotrip guys to change money and finalise our plans. I call ourselves, The FAGs with a BAG. This means: The Five Accountancy Graduates with a Biz Ad Graduate. Had the most embarassing time yesterday while changing money. Alex wanted to get the BEST exchange rates so we had to go down to Arab Street. Just nice, we were just opposite Zam Zams and I brought them there for the best mutarbak you can have in Singapore. They all agreed. Anyway, we changed like about 8000 worth of money. Suddenly we realised we were shortchanged. We suspected that the uncle hid $50 away secretly while we weren't looking and then told us we gave him $50 less. We argued with the uncle for like half an hour or something while trying to figure out whether he's trying to cheat us or we miscounted or something. We were certain we gave him the correct amount and he was indeed trying to cheat us. Finally, he wanted to close his shop cos it was way past his closing time already (becos of us). So he said he will go do his accounts and if he finds an extra $50, he'll call us. We had no choice but to accept it and accept the fact that we were cheated. Just as we were counting our euro currencies and about to leave, I asked Gary, "how much Swiss Francs did you change?" Gary said, "oh shit, I didn't give $100 for Swiss Francs yet. I just gave for the Euros I wanted to change." -_- Wah liew, damn paiseh man. Had to say sorry to the uncles at the shop for accusing them of cheating us and holding them up and all. Bloody hell. Gary, future banker, making such a grave mistake. I forsee the headlines, "HSBC banker withholds cash negligently in forex trading payments, leading to billions in losses". And if you were wondering, if Gary din give $100, and we were $50 short, why is there an extra $50? Well, we figured that the only way for that to happen is for ALEX, who did the final count and handed over the money, gave him $50 less. ALEX, future auditor and potential trader/banker, make this kinda mistake. I forsee the headlines, "Auditor negligent in cash reconciliation causes Deloitte & Touche billions in legal fees".
Anyway, we'll be bringing a small set to Europe to help kill time and also maybe introduce the game to the Europeans. Ha. Word has it that Lady Jing plans to play a round before each meal/before getting the bill.
On a lighter note, its funny how people have been speculating about my love life. Friends, and family included. However, I'm sorry to declare that these are all groundless speculations. The recent months have been filled with relationship activitiy. Some have broken up while in 2 different countries, others have broken up after coming back from a country. Whats funny is that now the 2 separate individuals involved in those situations will be going to another country. Just pure coincidence and perfect timing maybe? On the other hand, some have gotten together, which has come as a shock to most people who were kept out of the loop. I still think that the exam period where people study together is the time when ALOT of people get involved or develop relationships. Proven time and again. However, in this camp, love activity has drawn a naught.
IN VIEW OF THE RECENT PUBLIC OUTRAGE OVER BLOGGERS BASHING GUYS/GIRLS OPENLY IN THEIR BLOGS, THE RISK AVERSE MINGMONGSTER HAS DECIDED THAT THIS PORTION OF THE POST BE DELETED IN CASE THE MINGMONGSTER HIMSELF GETS FEATURED ON THE NEWSPAPERS AS WELL.
HOWEVER, DIVE INSTRUCTOR BASHING HAS NOT CAUSED ANY DISSENT AMONG THE GENERAL POPULATION AND THUS MY DIVE INSTRUCTOR REMAINS BASHED ON THE MINGMONGSTER.
Ok, I think I've digressed immensely. Time to study a little. A $1500 investment is at stake.
Disclaimer: Nothing in this post is aimed at anyone, anything, any situation or any dive instuctor in particular. Don't sue me.
Partial freedom in 1 day. Mingmong _ c r a p p e d _ @ 1:26 AM |
Night @ Wala's
Sunday, May 01, 2005
Well, seems like there was some activity in my routine life recently. After the paper on Friday, I decided to take a break for the afternoon and watched Coach Carter on my comp. Good show. But I guess it only applies to me cos I have a thing for inspirational sports shows. For example, my all time favourite sports show was Remember the Titans. Coach Carter is not really as inspiring or moving, but the themes were different. Coach Carter's theme revolves around discipline and being that all-rounded individual in both sports and studies. Though its the same old predictable storyline about how a losing team gets transformed into a winning team, but this is the kinda show that I somehow take to.
Anyway, I did plan to resume studying that night but then Alex decided to play the devil's advocate and asked me and his gf at Wala's. Trying hard not to succumb to temptation, I rejected him. However, I soon discovered that Pingpong, Ryan, Jane and gang were all heading down there too cos they finished their last paper already. Since Ryan was coming to pick Pingpong from hall (hmmm...dubious), I decided to take the free ride and go down too. Later I also found out that some of my buds were also going! Wonder why everyone had the same inkling that day, but the more the merrier!
Sat with the "exam-over" gang for a while as they had their dinner before I went over to join Alex at Wala's. I don't know whether it was the weather that night, or just the pressence of certain people at the table, but it was really quite hot. I think its probably because of the 2 hottest people in NBS sitting at the table with us. One of whom was our April Hunk, Leon and the supposed April Babe Jane (who was unfortunately replaced by Fiona because she showed me her open fly).
Ryan was feeling so hot he had to go to 7-11 to get some air-con. We couldn't get a seat inside the restaurant also and that made it worse.
While everyone else was feeling hot, Kailin remained oblivious to the heat because there were more important matters bothering her: her stomach.
Anyway, I went over to Wala's to join Alex. Got myself some meatballs (good stuff!) and Wala's wings (even better stuff!) and some Boddingtons. Basket, Alex is getting from bad to worse. His PDA is getting too much for me to handle. Next time I will think twice about being alone with him and Fiona.
EIC plays at Wala's on Friday nights. They're really good I must say. Only reason why I would go Wala's considering the steep beer prices.
My buds came along late and Alex left a while after they came. Saved me from more graphic displays of affection.
Great night out with the guys and good way to relax after studying for so long.
I think Kim Liang is really changing. Though he is changing for the good, but sometimes I think he's also getting a bit crazy. I mean, sometimes the way he acts/looks, you'd jus know he's becoming a moron by just looking at him.
Its back to the same routine again now.
I've learnt something today: I should not assume things. When Eu Ming assumes, he is an ass. Why? Because he is ASS-EUMING.
p/s. Realised I wrote wrongly in one of the pics above. Supposed to be "Whose" not "Who's". Lazy to change.
