Monday, February 28, 2005
RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
I went out for my dentist appointment and I hung out my bedsheets to dry. Yes the used one I washed and the one I found birdshit on which I also washed. And on my way back, the sky started looking gloomy, and rain seemed imminent. I prayed hard that the rain would hold till I got back, but unfortunately it did not. My only 2 bedsheets, hanging in the rain, getting washed again. I was so looking forward to coming back to sleep and now I can't AGAIN!!! Why must God and the bird keep me from sleeping?! Especially when I only had barely 2 hrs of sleep last night!
Fortunately, I have wonderful neighbours. When I came back, I saw Wayne and Joanne helping me keep my laundry, albeit a little too late, but nonetheless it was the thought that counts! Thanks Wayne and Joanne! I promise not to spy on you all when you 2 are alone in the room next time. Heh.
When I was younger, I was always facinated by the waterbeds I see on tv and I always wanted to have one. Well, today my wish has been granted. Not only did I leave the laundry out to dry, I left my windows open, and my bed is next to my window.
Rain + Open Window + Bed Near Window = Waterbed
That practically sums up my pathetic state now. Deprived of sleep when I need it most. Maybe its a sign that I must finish my work first b4 sleeping.
Anyway, this reminds me of something. Laundry and rain. This is not another discriminatory or derogatory story again. I'm just reporting facts and observations thats all. Anyway, the story goes... My friend Teckie and I have observed through our stay in hall that the foreign students (namely Ah Tiongs) are ingenious. Its no wonder why the Chinese claim to have invented so many things. This time, the Chinamen (this term is used only to distinguish the Chinese from the Singaporean Chinese, since we are Chinese too) have invented the WASHING CLOSET!
This is how it works: It functions like a closet because it is where they keep and hang their clothes, and it also functions like a washing machine because it washes their clothes and dries them while it is being kept! How ingenious is that?!
We came to this conclusion because we always see their clothes hanging outside the room, rain or shine. So we concluded that when it rains, it helps them wash their clothes, when the sun comes out, it dries it, and then they come out and choose what to wear. When they are done wearing it, they just hang it back outside for the rain to wash it again. Teckie has actually seen his ex Chinaman neighbour take his clothes from the clothesline outside to wear, when its been hanging there for days, after rain and sun. So it just proves our hypothesis that it is a new invention that he came up with. Saves closet space and saves washing.
I hope the day doesn't get anymore suay for me. Already not feeling too comfortable after the visit to the dentist. This time the tightening seems a little more painful than the previous visits. Can't eat in peace and can't sleep in peace. Only have 1 word to say now....
RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
p/s Refer to previous entry for story of the STOOPID BIRD.
Decided to change my bedsheet today, and with my used one in the wash, I laid out the other set. I was eagerly waiting to get some sleep 'cos I studied till 5 plus jus for a Conso quiz today. Luckily for me, last min work always seems to work well for me as it did in the past. So, with less than 2 hrs of sleep last night, I was ready to plunge onto my clean bedsheet when I suddenly noticed some white stuff on my bedsheet! (No it was not produced by me) Upon closer inspection, I realised it was birdshit!! on my bedsheet!
I was thinking, "SHEET!", but no, its SHIT.
On the other hand if I were a Black guy, I would probably say, "No shit! It can't be!", but as it WAS shit.
And if I were an ang mo, I would probably say, "Thats Bullshit!", but no it is BIRD shit.
Or if I were an Ah Beng, I might say, "KA NA SAI!", but no it doesn't just look like shit, it IS shit.
The dumbass bird must have dropped its bomb when I hung it out to dry the last time I washed it, and I kept it without even noticing it. Now I can't sleep because both bedsheets are in the wash.
RAHHH!
Friday, February 25, 2005
Wednesday night: King Alex called a meeting of the "Knights of the Square Table". So I went down to Alex's castle for another of our regular meetings. Let me introduce some of the more prominent characters of this Alexian legend.
Sir Mingelot - The first knight of the square table and never failing in pao-ing, xiao xiang gong or da xiang gong. Mingelot was also a knight who was very willing to feed others.
Tecklin the Magician - King Alex's adviser, prophet and magician. Magical wonders performed by Tecklin include 13 wonders (self-pick) and 1 & 9 da pai. He regularly summons his powers to perform more 13 wonders, and coming narrowly close many times.
Lady Jingevere - Although looking demure and lady-like, she can deal a deadly blow when on fire. When she's on fire, no one stands in her way. She is suspected to be learning black magic from Tecklin because once she almost pulled off a "di hu" (earth game). Unfortunately, she might have been focusing her eyes on the suave and ever charismatic King Alex, thus not seeing the chance to finish us off.
Anyway, let me introduce the indomitable and impregnable fortress of King Alex which has made him so formidable and invincible on his home ground.
The insurmountable Feng Shui defence system of the fortress:
1) His fans. 1 huge ceiling fan, and 1 smaller fan. Not to mention his aircon blowing at him. These blow wind at him, that's why he always gets the Winds.... I mean, who needs 2 fans and 1 aircon in a room anyway?
Sir Mingelot - The first knight of the square table and never failing in pao-ing, xiao xiang gong or da xiang gong. Mingelot was also a knight who was very willing to feed others.
Tecklin the Magician - King Alex's adviser, prophet and magician. Magical wonders performed by Tecklin include 13 wonders (self-pick) and 1 & 9 da pai. He regularly summons his powers to perform more 13 wonders, and coming narrowly close many times.
Lady Jingevere - Although looking demure and lady-like, she can deal a deadly blow when on fire. When she's on fire, no one stands in her way. She is suspected to be learning black magic from Tecklin because once she almost pulled off a "di hu" (earth game). Unfortunately, she might have been focusing her eyes on the suave and ever charismatic King Alex, thus not seeing the chance to finish us off.
Anyway, let me introduce the indomitable and impregnable fortress of King Alex which has made him so formidable and invincible on his home ground.
The insurmountable Feng Shui defence system of the fortress:
1) His fans. 1 huge ceiling fan, and 1 smaller fan. Not to mention his aircon blowing at him. These blow wind at him, that's why he always gets the Winds.... I mean, who needs 2 fans and 1 aircon in a room anyway?
2) His flowers. 1 huge painting of flowers and a pot of fake flowers. This is probably what get him all his flowers all the time. Its especially irritating when he wins a 4/5 tai with ji hu (chicken win).
3) His library. Put his whole library of books ('shu1') in this room. No wonder we always lose to him.
4) His lucky pillow. The word on it says it all.
This is why King Alex's castle has been a place where I serve him the most. I practically pay for all this dates with his queen! Maybe in time, I will be paying for his wedding banquet too. Despite my tragic track record at his castle, I still find myself going back there all the time. Probably wanting to break my duck each time. And also partly because my little shack is too far from where most of the other knights live. It is a known fact that King Alex collects entrance fees for newcomers wanting to join the Knights of the Square Table. Ask any of the knights and you will find that its true. Knights like Sir Wilson, Sir Gary, Sir Ryan all have paid their entrance fees to King Alex. But, it seems like I am a season ticket holder unlike the rest cos I keep paying fees to him......
Since it was the last day of CNY, and it might be the end of the season for us till after exams, we decided to make things more exciting. We were contemplating whether to up the stakes from our usual 20/40 to 50/$1. But, Lady Jingevere was too afraid so we all compromised and settle for playing to a max of 6 tai.
So, the night started of again in usual fashion with King Alex showing us why he was the only one who can pull the Excalibur out of the rock. The climax of the night proved to be the most jaw-dropping, earth-shattering and eye-popping.
King Alex delivered the stunner of the night. XIAO SI XI! (SELF PICK!) i.e. "Small 4 Happiness"
I alm0st fainted. This was as shocking as the 13 wonders that Tecklin the Magician did, and the near Earth Win that Lady Jingevere almost did.
Just look at the smug look on his face when collecting his winnings. Lucky for him we upped the stakes to 6 tai. Fat win for him.
Just as I thought it was gonna be another normal night for me at the Square Table, my luck seemed to change. For once.
Notched up two 6 tais and one 5 tai later on in the game. But then, somehow King Alex still won more than me! 3 times more in fact! Its really weird because he gunned my 5 tai and one of my 6 tai.
So, finally I conquered at King Alex's castle, but then my win was marred by his even bigger win...but oh well, I did win anyway, which is good enough for me.
(Actually, I wanted Huijing to be the Lady of the Lake, but I guess not many of you will know this character in Arthurian legends. In brief, Merlin was smitten by her and taught her magic, and Merlin's downfall was caused by her. Also, I didn't want to reveal Mr Teck Ann's secret. Opps!?)
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Finally, I'm back! It must have been my longest hiatus from blogging. Well, the past few days have been a real pain in the ass. Here's why...
1) FYP has been a bitch...bloody deadline is coming and this is on my mind most of the time, not to mention taking up most of my time.
2) The sun has been a bitch. Even the moon has been a bitch The scorching weather is unbearable. Day or night, the heatwave doesn't seem to go and the rain doesn't seem to come. This is the only time I dread staying in hall cos there is no aircon. I can't wait to finish up the work in school and get home to my aircon room.
3) The mosquitoes in my room has been a bitch. Bloody mossies keep biting me each night. Can't sleep in peace. I cover myself with the blanket to prevent getting bitten, BUT! refer to number 2.
So, when mingmong is not feeling happy, he does not have the mood to crap. But, anyway I have gotten some FYP stuff out of the way for now and its time to update...
On Saturday afternoon @ 2:15pm, my secret identity had to be unleashed. It was a case of national security, the country's safety was at stake. And this was a job for....
MAMBO!
Years back, some dude decided to hit the gym, pump some iron, tie a red cloth over his forehead, call himself Rambo, and try to save the world with his guns. What amateur stuff. That dude was just a copycat of the real deal.
Anyway, the country need the help of a real action hero, and I had to be called out of retirement, PES E or not, Mambo had to save the country. At 1415 hrs on Saturday, my call sign "Full Moon" was flashed on the tv screens, announced on the radio, and they even called my hp. Sure sounded like they needed my help. So, like all true superheroes, I am always prepared to get back to action. I gave the secret vase a twist, and the secret armoury chamber opened....
Forget those crap you see on the tv where some bloke runs into a public phone booth and changes his clothes in a flash. What you get for rushing when changing is you wear your red underwear on the outside. But, real action heroes need time to prepare for battle. So I whip on my super hero outfit, but realised I forgot to bring matching socks...
What the heck, no one will notice anyway. Next, not forgeting my special Mambo knife...those Rambo ones u see on tv are just designed to look cool and mean, but a real fighter can wield any kind of sword.
Finally, not forgetting the most important preparation before any battle....WATER PARADE.
Other pre-battle prep includes: 1) did u have at least 7 hrs of sleep? (we all know its crap cos we can't anticipate a battle), 2) do you feel sick? (we also know that's crap cos we still have to fight)
Finally, all prepared to head out to save the country!
Looking mean huh? Anyway, as I was about to leave...I saw my neighbour Wayne. It must have been pure coincidence that he was decked out in camouflage prints too, or...he could be one of my many fans wanting to be an action hero too. He was even armed with a camera to take pics of his favourite super hero. Camera is shown in the pic.
So...I rushed down to the carpark. Just like Batman has the Batmobile, Mambo has the Mambobile!
That's the Mambobile in Jetmode. The car doors open up to become wings and the boot opens to reveal a rocket booster. And, Batman has his sidekick Robin, Mambo also has his side kick Alex. Though Alex is not as cool a name as Robin, but Alex is called Alex because he has the special power of shape changing: changing between male and female. When he is male, he is Alex, when he is female, he is Alexandra. Or should I say SHE?
So, off we went to save the country from destruction. Bloody hell, we should have just taken a cab there. We parked the car at the designated car park and waited a million years for the tonner to come pick us up. When we reached camp, it was time for action. We jumped off the tonner, sprinted to the frontline as fast as we could, using up all the energy we had, and we signed our names on the sign-in book. (frontline here meant front of the queue line.)
Then, that's all for saving the country. Our job was done. The power of Mambo's right hand. One wield of the pen and his job of saving the country is done. Didn't even get to rip off my top to show my rippling ab (singular) .
Then, Alex and I rushed back to shower and change. We both had hot dates waiting for us. All superheroes have their babes, so we have them too! heh. Ok my date is not mine la, Alex's is. In fact, Alex plans to take advantage of the tax rebate for having children early.
So, Alex went to watch Chingay with his darling supermodel cum pageant girl gf while I went to meet Ms. Huiying for dinner and movie. Well, because of my national duties, I was rather late, but still managed to eat dinner. We ate Pastamania, first time there, and she gave me a stunned look when I said i was a Pastamania virgin. Keen to show her experience in it, she whipped out her Pastamania card which showed like 6 or 7 stamps. The food was not bad, always knew it was good but just didn't have the chance to go eat it.
Decided to heck the braces and start smiling with teeth. I'm proud of my red and orange braces! Come monday, I'm gonna get pink again when I go to the dentist.
Anyway, we went to watch "A moment to remember" after dinner. Some Korean love show about this gal who falls in love with this guy and she gets Alzheimers even though she is still young. Suay. So she loses her memory gradually and the remainder of the show is all about crying. Quite sad show la, like all typical Korean love shows. Huiying was evidently crying cos I saw her wiping her eyes and cheeks and chin etc. Must have been alot of tears. So I kindly offered her my tissue, and secretly taking a piece out too when I did. Ya so I did let a tear drop from my eyes cos it was sad! I have feelings ok! The whole theatre was sobbing and sniffing. Its quite contagious. After the show she asked if I cried, but I said it was just some dust that went into my eyes. Never even offer to blow the dust out for me. So much for offering her tissue! Think she used up the whole packet of tissue too since I din see it again. Next time we watch a sad love show, I'll bring a bucket for you ok? hehe
One more thing, we got a bottle of green tea to drink in the theatre. So she took 2 straws and put it in the bottle. BUT, the bottle was too deep and the straws drowned. I gave her a 3rd straw and she put it in and it drowned again. That was the last straw (pun intended). Din get her anymore straws. She proudly posed for me even though I told her I will let the world know about her clumsiness.
After the show, we checked out a bit of the Chingay and she went meet her frens. While I headed home for another battle. Mahjong! I lost AGAIN. I don't know why I keep losing man. Do I suck or am I just not cut out to gamble. I lose in almost every gambling game. Oh well, I will persevere and I will be a Mahjong King one day. Just need to re- mark my tiles more clearly.
So that was the most event-filled day of the past week. The rest has been a bitch and I hope the next few days would be better.
Oh yesterday, air stewardess huiying got activated for duty too! Just like me. But she had 4 hours to get into action while I had 6. She is also actually part of the superhero fraternity too. She is........ Singapore Girl! ;)
Thanks again for the other good reviews I've been getting for my posts. See Gnip, everyone is taking it well unlike you.
Till next time...
p/s Don't tell anyone my secret identity!
p/s/s Ryan did not know who Gnip was. Fortunately, he salvaged some pride by solving it after a while, otherwise I would have another riddle again.
p/s/s/s Why must the codenames be so weird? Full Moon? They should have more garang/kilat code names like Silent Killer, Rippling Muscles, Iron Balls etc..
Thursday, February 17, 2005
I realised that my blog might be roughing up some people. Got my first hate msg on my previous entry from a person called Gnip. Never heard of this person before though and I wonder why he/she seemed to seriously object to my previous entry. Maybe he/she felt she (let's stick to gnip as a she, so I don't have to keep typing he/she) would have won the eating competition if I hadn't taken up one of the six places available and ate for fun. Well, I guess if I have a chance to make it up to her for missing out on the free food, I could offer her some food in return to satisfy her greed. Have some fabulous Cheesesticks to offer her. As much as I would like to eat the Cheesesticks myself, that is the only food I have now that I can offer to show my sincerity. These wonderful Cheesesticks were made by my long-time friend pingpong, and I love them as much as I love to eat bee hoon. But, offering my prized possession to gnip is the only way to show how apologetic I am for offending her in any way. Gnip, if you see this, do accept my offer of Cheesesticks and make peace with me.
Somehow, I was wondering whether my hate mailer typed her name wrongly. Its hard to imagine a person having a name Gnip. Or maybe that's her surname, sounds more like a surname than a name huh. Like on of those funnily spelt surnames like Ngo (like trini's friend Noel Ngo) or Nguyen (which is vietnamese) etc etc. But how would you pronouce Gnip? Would the "G" or the "N" be silent? Is it gonne be pronounced as "Gip" or "Nip"? Think "Nip" sound more like a possible surname that originated from some less known dialect. Heard of surnames similar to this, for example, "Lip" is one of those less common surnames. So if we have established that Gnip is her surname, and it should be pronounced as "Nip", what is her first name? I think it would be really cool if her name was Pearl and she is one of those that put their surnames in front of their first names, for example, Han Alex or Tan Julie. My hate mailer would thus be Gnip Pearl. Pronounced "Nip-Pearl".
I hope Gnip Pearl would read my blog more light-heartedly and not be offended by anything I write on my blog. People like pingpong and Trini who have clocked the most web space on my blog since its founding have all been really sporting about the stuff I write. Hope you would too!
Anyway, before I wrote this I went to pingpong's blog and she somehow managed to get a copy of my matric card photo. I wonder how. Anyway, she thinks its really cute. Awww...thanks gal! So I thought I also share some of her cute pics here too! Was trying to give her some ideas for a halloween party...
But, in the end we decided that she should just go as herself.
To clear the air again, I would like to emphasize that the 'hot date' was my audit textbook. Had to make sure this point was put across in case more members of the Raffles and TCHS/NJC alumni start infering things again.
Also, to clear the air for pingpong, lest some koalas start taking my words literally again...She did not make choc chip cookies! She made CHEESESTICKS.
Its been an event-filled 2 days in school. NBS week has gone on for the past 3 days. For those who don't know what this is, NBS = Nanyang Business School, and NBS week is a week of free food, games, prizes and stuff. Yesterday, ryan and I decided to take part in the eating competition. We had 2 reasons for joining this competition: 1) To have our lunch, 2) to get the consolation prize of $28 (the winner gets $88 while the rest get $28). We really didn't intend on competing with the other contestants on finishing first though, so naturally we didn't think the food will be a problem...but that wasn't the case.
The food had to be eaten in this order...
1) 1 red bean potong ice cream
2) jollibean tau huay + 1 you char kway
3) 1 mee goreng
4) 1 big slice of watermelon
5) 1 gas drink
6) 1 chicken rice
7) 2 hard boiled eggs
8) 1 mango ice dessert
At first glance, these look like a piece of cake. However, the food were strategically arranged such that it became a nightmare. AND, there was a silent killer inside too!
My pre-eating competition prep involved not eating anything since I woke in the morning, bar 1 barley drink. I also made sure I had maximum space in my stomach and intestines for the food that awaited me, so I went to download the previous night's dinner in the toilet first.
So as the emcee said go, I peeled off the wrapper of my potong and took a bite. At that instant, the emcee announced that one of the contestants (lets call him George) had finished his potong!! I turned to look and he had shoved the whole potong into his mouth! Horrified, but not bothered, and ryan and I jus nibbled our potong bit by bit. There was this other contestant beside George who was also bent on winning the $88. (we shall call him Washington) Within minutes, George and Washington had both gobbled down their tau huay while ryan and I continued to lick our potong. The emcee tried to encourage us, reminding us that it was a competition, but we bo hiew him. Then, horror #1 happened. George poured some NEW water into his mee goreng to make it less dry. Washington saw and followed suit. As gross as it might sound, it was an innovative way to turn their dry mee goreng to mee soto.
Finally, I finished my potong and moved on to the tau huay and you char kuay. The YCK (not Yio Chu Kang) was mega elastic. Felt like I was biting on a tyre, and wearing braces certainly did not help much in chewing it. I resorted to dunking pieces of YCK into the tau huay to soften it, but the tau huay syrup was way too sweet man. I have to commend Washington on finishing his tau huay in 10 secs. He jus gulped down the whole thing. Amazing. Ryan and I continued to eat and take pictures while George and Washington moved on to their watermelon and gas drink. By now you should realise how deadly the arrangement of the food can be. First an ice cold potong. Perfect to spoil your appetite. Then extra sweet tau huay justs makes you lose all your appetite altogther. Then the mee goreng, ultra dry and hard to swallow. Then later the gas drink to try to induce you to burp and puke...etc etc.
Ok so ryan and I finally move on to our mee goreng. This was the silent killer I was talking about. The first bite we took, ryan immediately called for water. It was MEGA spicy. And they even added a lump of sambal chilli by the side. We told Xiaomin that it was too spicy, but she said she tried it before she bought it and she thought it was fine. She must eat chilli padi as a snack man. The mee goreng was dry and jerlat, and the spiciness made it even harder to swallow. Was breaking out in sweat as I ate it. In the meantime, George and Washington were neck to neck at their chicken rice. Then horror #2 happened. George poured NEW water into his chicken rice. Washington followed suit, but overdid it and emptied the whole bottle of water into the box. Even chicken porridge wouldn't be so watery. Looked really inedible to me, but Washington kept stuffing the rice into his mouth even though he had not chewed what he put in his mouth. The worst part was the water was FLOWING out of his stuffed mouth back into the chicken rice/porridge. Gross to the max.
Anyway, time was up and Washington won with his last gasp stuffing, while ryan and I were still stuck at mee goreng. We were 4th and 5th out of 6 contestants btw. Was quite a torture eating the mee goreng, but we were rewarded with our $28 ang pao. After that, my stomach felt like crap, and I laosaied. Regret joining that game man...should have just stuck to the other easier games.
Getting a little too busy to write with the FYP deadline coming up, but thanks to Hadi, Hongying and Joanna for expressing their support for my blog...so touched!
Back to work for now...crap later...
Riddle
Who is Hua2 Sheng4 Dun4, an ex-American president?
A) Dick Cheney
B) Vivien Balakrisnan
C) Isaac Newton
D) I don't know
If you were Pingpong, what would your answer be?
Answer: A, C and D
If you were Kailin, what would your answer be?
Answer: Vivien Balakrisnan is who ah?
Monday, February 14, 2005
Finally, its back to school after a 1 week break. Was already getting into the slacking mood and I'm finding it hard to get my momentum back, despite having a quiz tomorrow.
Anyway, its Valentine's day once again. Before I leave school, I guess its time I put in some effort to get myself attached before its too late. Finally, after much thought, I decided to make my move, and I got a date for today that meets most criteria of my perfect gal. We're gonna spend the whole night together later...
1) She's very intelligent, in fact, she helps me with my school work even.
2) She is fair, and her skin is smooth and white as snow.
3) She doesn't hide her feelings, and I understand her very well, if fact, I can tell exactly what she's thinking as though I'm reading her mind like a book. This is so important cos its really tiring to keep guessing what ur gal is thinking all the time.
4) Even though I've only known her for 1 month or so, I see her almost everyday in school and in hall. She spends time with me in school too, guess that's how our relationship developed.
5) Brought her home once already, dad didn't seem to object her eating with us at the dinner table. Satifies the getting along with parents factor
Only thing is that there are some stuff about her that's not too appealing...
1) She's a lil' square...its hard to have fun with her, she doesn't club and this is good in one way, but bad too cos sometimes its nice to go with gf la..
2) Sometimes, having a gf that's too smart can be bad cos she will make me feel dumb and she will know how to argue her way such that I wouldn't win since she is smarter.
Well, guess i'll try and see how things work out. I'll give it till the end of the semester and see how things go. If I like her, i guess it will be good since she loves audit and its hard to find a gf who's understanding enough to know the life of an auditor. But then, I suspect I will give up after the exams are over...once I'm out of school guess its on to the working world and I won't be seeing her anymore in school. My gut feeling is that I will most likely not want her anymore after graduating. Oh well...
Anyway as I type, ryan is asking about my hot date for today though I din tell him I had one.
FatNeRdSliM* : Support Your Local NTU DJs Cow & Dubious @NBS Week...{In Da Mood Ryan} says:
can i come n see see?
Merryless Mingmong says:
come lor..when u r done with ur hot date
Merryless Mingmong says:
LATER..now busy
*FatNeRdSliM* : Support Your Local NTU DJs Cow & Dubious @NBS Week...{In Da Mood Ryan} says:
orh... why now u doing "WORK" ah?
Merryless Mingmong says:
now i writing blog..she resting...later then start work on her
*FatNeRdSliM* : Support Your Local NTU DJs Cow & Dubious @NBS Week...{In Da Mood Ryan} says:
wah................!
*FatNeRdSliM* : Support Your Local NTU DJs Cow & Dubious @NBS Week...{In Da Mood Ryan} says:
haha ok
*FatNeRdSliM* : Support Your Local NTU DJs Cow & Dubious @NBS Week...{In Da Mood Ryan} says:
kiss kiss
*FatNeRdSliM* : Support Your Local NTU DJs Cow & Dubious @NBS Week...{In Da Mood Ryan} says:
rubba rubba
Merryless Mingmong says:
errrrr.....I dun think so
Merryless Mingmong says:
maybe u and bin bin can la
Merryless Mingmong says:
but I can't do that with my gal
Poor binbin..we all know what's gonna happen to her tonight when she goes out with ryan the dubious
Seems like everyone is gonna be interested in finding out who my hot date is man...well, I'll think about it first, maybe I will reveal who she is later...
Anyway, I got a surprise gift from long-time fren pingpong..she did get down to baking afterall..
This is what it looked like...minimingmong got one from her too..
I couldn't really make out what it was..both by the look of it and by tasting it...I suspect it was supposed to be choc chip cookies..heh..But, thanks pingpong...so sweet...its my one and only vday present...give u credit la..for the packaging..hahaha..at least I decided on what it was...Trini is meaner..she concluded that its PASTRY...
Anyway, I went to do henna just now out of boredom. Did it before last time during nbs week also and so I tot I do it again. Since I can't get a tattoo...shall jus play ard with temporary ink..
got smudged a little..damned..now i'm gingerly typing and trying not to rest my arm on the table
Valentine's day...Is it overrated? Some people (usually the guys) feel that its just a day that's been to commercialised since everyday is valentine's day if you're in love. While others (usually the gals) think its important that they celebrate it cos if its a day to remind their usually unloving bfs to put in effort at least once a year.
My take is that its just not worth it to be extravagant on V day...yes the bfs can be romantic but being romantic doesn't have to involve spending. Wanna do smtg for ur gf/hot date/target? Why spend so much more an 14th Feb when the same amount can give u 2 or 3 days of the same amount of romantic outings? So, here's how a stereotyped V day outing will score with the gal compared to mingmong's cost efficient V day outing...(ryan, more tips for u, dun jus copy my baking tactics! heh).
Ordinary V Day outing.
You ask her to meet you at City Hall MRT station control [-10 pts]. Bad idea. You pick her up from home [0 pts] but have the car with you [2 pts], its a Mercedes [5 pts]. You are wearing your best outfit you have [0 pts]. If you had decided T-shirt and berms [-10pts]. She is wearing a tight tube dress and you look at her in awe [5 pts] but lustily [-9 pts]. She asks if the dress makes her look fat. You hesitate in responding [-10 pts]. You reply, "Where?" [-30 pts]. Any other response [-20 pts].
You take her for dinner at your favourite prawn mee stall [-10 pts], but then see the look on her face and decide to head for your backup plan at Equinox [5 pts]. You forgot to make a reservation [-5 pts]. You did make a reservation [0 pts]. The ribs are great and you are using your fingers [-5 pts]. She is vegan [-20 pts]. Fortunately, she liked her food [2 pts].
You take her to the movies [0 pts]. You want to watch Constantine [-5 pts], but decided to be safe and go for a romance movie [0 pts] but its front row seats since its V day [-5 pts]. While walking to the theatre, you see a hot chick and ur date catches you checking her out [-5 pts], the chick looks at u sluttily [-10 pts] and she has breast implants [-23 pts]. During the show, she cried and u gave her some tissue [2 pts] and lent her your shoulder [2 pts], but then you cried too [-13 pts]
After the movie, you take her to the park/beach to count the stars [0 pts]. She starts telling you about her day. You listen intently [0 pts], but your eyes spot a couple making out at the next bench and you keep looking [-8 pts]. You start to get cosy with her and lean forward to kiss her. Your breath stinks [-18 pts] but you ate Clorets first [3 pts]. You kiss her gently on the lips [3 pts], then you stick your tongue into her mouth [-14 pts]. Any placements of your hands above the waist [-100 pts].
You send her home [0 pts]. You walk her to her doorstep [2 pts]. You tell her how much you like her [1 pt] in a nice sweet poetic way [5 pts] but you forgot ur lines [-9 pts]. You kiss her goodnight [0 pts] and stick your tongue into her mouth again [-28 pts]. You say goodbyes and go home. You go straight to bed after showering [-10 pts].
Game Over.
Mingmong's V day plan (Ryan take notes!)
Bake some famous mingmong choc chip cookies [10 pts] and put it in a nice cookie jar [2 pts]. Make something she likes to eat [10 pts], though its jus something simple [-2 pts]. Go pick her from her home [0 pts]. Managed to get the car [2 pts] Whip out 3 roses [-5 pts].
You take her to the movies [0 pts]. You booked tickets for A soapy romance movie [2 pts]. While walking to the theatre, you see a hot chick but you don't check her out [0 pts]. During the show, she cried and u gave her some tissue [2 pts] and lent her your shoulder [2 pts].
Bring her to the beach [0 pts], whip out a picnic basket from the boot [5 pts]. Lay out a nice picnic mat [2 pts], and bring on the self-made food plus 2 candlelights [5 pts]. She doesn't think the food is that good [-5 pts] but then the mingmong choc chip cookies tastes great! [15 pts]. Whip out 2 wine glasses and pour out some red wine [2 pts], but she doesn't like red wine [-5 pts].
After the meal, you start talking [0 pts], about the future with her [5 pts]. She talks and you listen [0 pts] and you ignore the couple making out on the next bench [5 pts]. You decide to kiss her. Its a good kiss [2 pts]. Your hands remain firmly on her waist [3 pts]. You then ask her to close her eyes while you prepare her for a surprise [1 pt]. She waits quite long [-5 pts]. She hears a lighter and thinks you are sneaking a smoke [-10 pts]. She opens her eyes and sees a line of sparklers spelling out "I LOVE U" on the sand [25 pts]. She runs forward and hugs you. You hug her back [2 pts]. But the flame dies out too soon for her to enjoy the moment longer [-1 pt].
You send her home [0 pts]. You walk her to her doorstep [2 pts]. You tell her how much you like her [1 pt] in a nice sweet poetic way [5 pts] You kiss her goodnight [0 pts] You say goodbyes and go home. You call her before you go to sleep and talk to her till she is sleepy [5 pts].
Congratulations! You proceed to the next round.
Well, my plan is not 100% guaranteed to succeed though...there is one thing that can cause any plan to fail...
IT'S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You try to talk to her [-100 pts]. You don't talk to her [-150 pts]. She has cramps. You try to comfort her [-10 pts], but its useless [-50 pts]. You don't comfort her [-100 pts]. You still wanna kiss her at the beach [-200 pts]. You seem to be enjoying yourself [-500 pts].
Ok that's all crap...jus in case I get slammed by girls...
V day is no longer like it used to be...maybe tonight I might try to make it work with my hot date tonight...Guess all of you must be wondering who she is...decided to post her pic for all to see..Took this while she was lying on my bed sexily with her top slightly open..
Yes ryan, I'll be working real hard on her tonight. Sometimes on the table, sometimes in bed, till I'm spent and fall asleep. But no cuddling for her though.
Extra
Wah kao...seems like ryan and trini really thought there was a gal. Need better disclosure man, if not wait everyone think so too, esp since Trini (RJC/RGS) and RYAN (NJC/TCHS) both didn't realise I was describing my book. Lemme explain in clearer english..instead of the literary descriptives which earned me an A1 in Lit. HA.
1) She is intelligent and she teaches me audit. Duh she is a textbook
2) Her skin is white as snow. Notice the book is white? Duh
3) I understand her well. Note I said "I READ HER LIKE A BOOK"
4) I known her only this sem and I see her in sch and hall almost everyday. I jus took audit this sem and she's on my table. Duh
5) I ate and read the textbook once with my dad around.
6) She a little squarish. Yes. A little cos she is more of a rectangle.
Luckily Ryan came storming to my room after reading to spy...otherwise maybe everyone else would also think there is a real 'date'! *faints*
Friday, February 11, 2005
Happy Lunar New Year to everyone!!!
CNY went by so quickly and now its back to school. The holiday mood was getting to me already and when I had to go back to school today I felt so sad..
Anyway, this CNY has been alot more happening than all my previous years put together. Usually, I my visiting would be done by 3 in the afternoon. I just have to go to my grandfather's house and that's it. That's because we don't really know our extended family, in fact, I dun think I have even seen any 2nd cousins. So I jus have to visit my dad's side where everyone will gather at my grandfather's house, while my mom's side, there isn't really anyone.
Anyway, as I was saying..this CNY is different from all other CNYs for many reasons...
Firstly, this year there is mahjong! Yes, I just picked up the game seriously last june and I have been hooked since. So after the scrumptious reunion dinner my mom whipped up, I went over to alex's house for mahjong to show my filial piety for my parents. Why? Cos mahjong thru the night, then I stay up late, which translates into longevity for my parents! Good son huh...
Next, this year I had a lot more visiting to do. Went to grandfather's house and dad's fren's house on the first day. So the extra house visit notched us an extra ang pow. Wasn't too interesting since we din know most people there. Luckily the kids were watching 'Exorcist' and that helped kill some time while the adults fraternised.
Then, that night I decided to hop on down to zouk on the instigation of Jane once again. First time there on CNY, thought it would be fun...But...I was wrong. It turned out to be the worst zouk night ever. It was packed! (though less packed than some other times I've seen) And this time I actually queued. Din get to cut queue unlike all other times when someone was in the queue nor was ryan ard to bring me in by the fast lane. It started out well inside phuture, bought loads of drinks. Trini was getting drunk double quick time...and the crowd was coming in triple quick...Was getting squashed cos we were by the bar and the crowd was going past us constantly. Could barely move. The crowd got to me and after a while I got sick of it so I went out to grab a bite by the snack bar. Then, the night got worse. I was chewing on my sandwich when my braces wire broke. -_- Totally killed my mood for the rest of the night. So i told minimingmong to msg me when he wanted to leave while i waited outside for him. luckily leon came to join me so not so boring. Anyway, we left early and I am definitely never going zouk again on a public hol. And, forgot to mention that organiser Jane disappeared after stepping into zouk for 5 mins. Must have been her ploy to trick us there...heh
2nd day of CNY, went for a special house visit. Went to Pingpong's house. My long time friend. It was a reunion for my parents and her's since they haven't met in eons. So the story goes that Pingpong has a really interesting dad, who's called Bucks. First thing I saw him, I shook his hand and he spinned me 360 degrees like a ballerina and then nodded in approval, leaving me dumbfounded. Later he explained that he was checking if I was wearing an earring. Luckily I decided not to that day. Hah. Apparently he doesn't like guys who wear earrings. The other time when Pingpong had her bday party at her house, her dad told all the guys to take of their earrings! And when he saw the photos, he saw me with mine on and told pingpong that he missed me! hehehe...so this time he made sure he checked me throughly.
Then, another thing happened moments after I met him. He told my parents that I am a 'Stingy Fart' and my brother is a 'Playboy'. *lost look*. Later, he explained... He said..."this one go out with my daughter, ask her to pay half the cab fare! so he is a Stingy Fart! the other one go out with my daughter and 2 other girls at one time, so he is a Playboy!" *deadpans* Before everyone starts to believe that I am a stingy fart, lemme explain. I took a cab with pingpong to zouk before I believe, and with others pple too! so we shared the cab fare. and my brother went out with pingpong and she called 2 of her frens along. So...that somehow translates into Stingy Fart and Playboy. Interesting. Seems like pingpong has been telling Uncle Bucks all about us...complaining rather...no more cab rides with pingpong!
So anyway, I had my fun at their place irritating the shit out of pingpong while our parents chatted...then some where along the way I heard him asking my mom to check if I wear purple underwear...(*????*) he asked her to check if i am gay. So I became a Gay Stingy Fart. -_-
Before we left, Uncle Bucks warned me not to terrorise pingpong anymore, otherwise he will use his dunno what belt in taekwondo on me...seems like I have to get a better belt than him before I start terrorising pingpong again!
Anyway, we took a photo together to remember our reunion...was an interesting time with Uncle Bucks i must say...Next time I return, I will have my taekwondo black belt prepared! (notice I am rather reserved in my entry this time cos I know pingpong show's my blog to her parents! Hello uncle and auntie!!! heh)
Parting shot: Uncle Bucks, U never give me angpow...STINGY OLD FART!
(heh...couldn't help being so reserved...)
So that's quite all for my CNY so far...think might have a bit more visiting tmr...and SAF decides to give me a special angpow too...they might mobilise my unit tomorrow...bloody hell...
Didn't take much pics during the new year though...but...a couple of weeks ago at a family gathering....
The 3 musketeers decided to show their unity...
Yeap, thats me, my dad and minimingmong. We didn't plan to wear these shirts...seriously...it was pure coincidence...it was so hilarious we decided to stick with it and not change out of it...hah... A soviet communist, china communist and a swiss
My cousins...who are all older than me, my bro and sis (on my right) except for that intelligent (i refrain from saying toot) looking little cousin of mine in yellow...heh..
Finally...I love my food..
If u thought that was bad....look at what I found in pingpong's house?!
wonder why i can never resize my pics correctly..some pls teach me!
Monday, February 07, 2005
People wonder why in the world am I mingmong, so I decided I shall explain why once and for all.
It all starts with my dear friend of 15+ years Choo Yi Ping. One fine day, trini or someone decides to call her Pingpong. And somehow, I was included in the picture and became Mingmong. I can't remember who started it, it could be trini or pingpong or someone else, but that's how it came about. Funnily, pingpong didn't stick and mingmong did and soon pple started calling me mingmong.
So what is mingmongster??? Nothing. Its only cos i couldn't get mingmong.blogspot.com cos its already in use, so I had to cook something up.
This made me wonder how come someone else would use mingmong as a username? So this prompted me to google mingmong, and this is what I found...
The Ming Mong association of Australia. Seems like I have fans down under huh..
Anyway, what the hell is this all about? Apparently, Ming Mong is some game in which people send insults to each other via messages, and I guess the one who insults better wins and the one who can't hitback loses. They claim that this sport started way back in the stone age where people used dinosaur bones to carve these messages and deliver them by hand. This often caused fights since the insults were delivered in person. Later on in history, some professor used seagulls to send mass messages to people. Sounds like the chinese who use fei ge chuan shu..
Now, with the advent of handphones have brought Mingmonging to new heights as people are able to send SMSes via their phones. Thus, competitors have to think fast, and reply fast. That's probably why they have the fingers on the association sign...u use your thumbs to type SMSes...this slowly became more advanced with the use of MMS, so now Ming Monging is done mainly through picture msges
This seemed like total crap at first, but somehow it seems to be a genuine game..
For those who are interested in joining my association, please go to www.mingmong.com.au
What's even more interesting is yet to come....
Trini decided one day that my brother Wei Ming shall be called minimingmong, since he is my younger brother. And guess what? They have Mini Ming Mong too!!
This is ming mong using traditional text msges....
I think maybe I should be their spokesperson, cover model or mascot since I am the real mingmong...
Once again now..Everyone put ur fingers together and go..."Mingmong!"
Sidetrack:
Shall explain the story of why pingpong is my long time friend of 15+ years although I really only knew her 1 year ago.
I got to know pingpong through Trini cause pingpong needed help with some school photo shoot. So nice mingmong decided to help her. But then, a few weeks ago, my mommy was surfing around my minimingmong's blog and visited pingpong's blog. She then decided to check out her photos and she stumbled upon a photo of pingpong and her family which was taken during her bday. My mom screamed for me. I was in the room then and I was wondering what in the world did I do wrong...or was it a cockroach...then my mommy came looking for me and asked if I knew a Ping..so I said yes I did and I asked why. My mom then said she saw the pic and she knows her parents! Gasp! What a small world!
So the story unfolds... Apparently, my mom was the one who introduced pingpong's dad to her mom way back when they were in Uni...My mom says her dad was a joker/havoc type and her mom was a quiet demure type. She was surprised her dad asked to get to know her mom. So my mom played matchmaker and so that is the main reason why Pingpong is living today. Imagine, if my mommy din introduce her parents...there wouldn't be a Choo Yi Ping in this world!!!! Pingpong certainly owes my mom her life...
Anyway, the story unfolds further... My mommy said that pingpong's dad used to disturb my mom alot last time. This is really interesting because I think I now know the reason for me being born: To terrorise pingpong. I was born to settle the scores of the previous generation. The very first time I met pingpong during the photoshoot, we had dinner at a food court. She sat beside me. She left her food on the table and went off to get a drink or smtg. At that moment, I dunno why...something inside me prompted me to do the unthinkable. I took a bottle of chilli powder and poured it into her food. This is not smtg I wld do normally although the tricky master has a million and one tricks which many have fallen prey to. But this time it was weird, cos I barely knew pingpong! But this voice inside my head jus kept telling me to DO IT! So I did. And then she came back and gobbled her food down and started complaining its bloody spicy and she doesnt take chilli. Till recently, pingpong couldn't forget the first time we met. But now, we know the real reason why that happened.
So why do I know pingpong for 15+ years? Cos apparently we supposedly met in my house 15+ years ago, but none of us could remember it. Maybe when we met then, I was tugging her hair and making faces at her since it is a natural instinct for me to terrorise her. Guess its not her fault, blame it on the shang4 yi1 dai4 that we have to settle the scores of old...
So that's the story of my l0ng lost friend pingpong.
Finally, to add more coincidence into the story between me and pingpong....I quote Mr Rupert Bowman, Secretary of the Ming Mong Association, who looks like a moron..
"Ming Mong - The international game of messaging ping pong. It isn't just a game of insults. It's a game of skill. A game of love. A game where the best players doesn't win - everyone does."
There you go...ping pong is here in this quote with me even...and pingpong is somehow very tickled by this...she is flipping now.
Before reading.... This entry is rated R(A) and kids under the age of 21 are advised against proceeding further....If you insist on proceeding, parental guidance is advised..
Kailin (from hereon shall be called Kailing cos she prefers the G) was on the receiving end of another of the tricky master's tricks..
Kailing: eh what topic you doing for fyp?
Mingmong: sex patterns of Singaporeans..
Kailing: wah..interesting topic..u chose it or the tutor ask u to do?
Mingmong: I took a GE called sex, drugs and life and my tutor approached me to do FYP on this cos he said i look like i have experience and show interest in class..
Kailing: U HAVE?
Mingmong: no la..i told him i very innocent..but he said its ok cos FYP is for u to learn
Kailing: wah he so nice..
(conversation goes on..i crapped abt how it involves doing research on sex..like the research Kinsey did..watch the movie for those who dunno who he is)
In the meantime, kailing is really convinced that i am doing such an fyp...
Kailing: your tutor good or not?
Mingmong: yeah not bad...
Kailing: what's your tutor's name?
Mingmong: Vivien Balakrishnan
(a minute later)
Kailing: eh i can't find him in the database leh....
Mingmong: he is from CS (comm studies)..maybe u can try the CS staff directory..
Kailing: oh ok..then how to check his availability?
Mingmong: dunno, i can help u ask him when i see him...
Kailing: ok! but is he available?
Mingmong: no..he's married..
Kailing: for FYP la!!
Mingmong: oh..i'll check with him..
The conversation goes on with me telling kailing how i interview couples on their sex life for my research data..and how some invite me and my group mates to orgy parties so that we can get observational data....(already i was trying to make it sound real absurd)
Kailing: So you interview couples on the street?
Mingmong: No, we ask around for volunteers and we also get customer data from Durex to get pple who might want to do the survey
Kailing: wahh..that's the big condom company!!!
Mingmong: yesss...
Kailing: so far got any problems or not?
Mingmong: ok la..some pple are very shy..while others talk too much and show too much..
Kailing: Show??
Mingmong: ya..some are very explicit..they talk abt orgies even..then invite us to their parties where everyone does their 'stuff' openly..
Kailing: DUN BLUFF ME LEH!
Mingmong: never bluff la! our tutor asked us to go and he say its part of this kind of research..we even had a conclusion of the optimum number of people for an orgy..
Kailing: huh....
Mingmong: ya lor..u sure u still wanna do this topic??
Kailing: sounds a bit scary liao...
Oh well..it goes on..but she doesn't realise anything amiss..
Trini says poor kailing..and that i'm mean. But, i didn't plan to take her on a ride..when i told her my tutor was Vivien Balakrishnan..i thought the next thing she would say was "CHI DA BIAN LA"..but then....now i know girls read more magazines than newspapers...maybe only if i said my tutor is LKY then maybe she will realise its all bull...
Moral of the story: Girls, read more newspapers..otherwise u will be cheated by guys..
Thursday, February 03, 2005
Scene: Canteen drink stall. Was buying a drink with a girl in front of me.
Girl: Auntie, 1 calamari..
Drink stall auntie: ?!?!?! (*baffled look*)
Girl: *wonders why auntie is not moving*
Drink stall auntie: ?!?!?! (*still baffled look*)
Me: *dum dee dum* (looks at watch)
Girl: OH! Auntie I want 1 CALAMANSI!
Drink stall auntie: Cheyy..
Me: *wahahahahahaha*
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
After a hearty lunch today, I went to the toilet to rinse my mouth..went to this toilet at the south spine near the MLT. As I approached the toilet, a fetid odour overwhelmed me. It was the most putrid, rancid and revolting smell ever! As I drew closer to the toilet door, I realised it was emanating from the toilet. Since I just wanted to rinse my mouth, I decided to hold my breath and make a dash in, wash, and make my escape. As entered the toilet, I discovered why it the smell was so immense...
Both cubicle doors were closed. Not 1, but 2 B-52 bombers were in the midst of their bombardment. Their atomic bombs were different from those at Hiroshima. The destruction was not caused at the point of impact, but instead fatality came from the radiation.
Anyway, I braved the stench and quickly rinsed my mouth. I turned around and planned to rush out of the toilet. As I turned and reached for the door, I regretted my decision to use this toilet.
The door handle was missing. *faints* literally.
I frantically tried to pull open the door by the side where it jut out of the door frame (not sure what its called) a little..but then, based on what we learn in physics, the force exerted was not large enough to for it to cause a large enough moment about the fulcrum at the hinge. I was at a loss. Stunned, and wondered when another person will come into the toilet again. And in the mean time, I was getting free aromatherapy.
Soon, the first guy came out of the cubicle. I glared at him, and it was a fat ass chinaman (or at least he looked like one). Just when you thought they couldn't smell any worse, or their rooms are the most foul smelling things they have, you thought wrong. Its whats inside them thats the most potent! crouching tiger hidden dragon indeed. Anyway, I guess B-52 bomber 1 realised the extent of the radiation and wanted to escape too. He too clawed at the door as though he wanted to get out quick, till he realised it was useless.
So we stood there looking at each other haplessly, still inhaling..then we decided we shld combine our strengths. So we both yanked hard at the side of the door with our fingertips and the door inched open..and fresh unpolluted air gush in and my lungs never felt so good before. As we went out, B-52 bomber 1 somehow decided to help his colleague and latched the door with the hook on the wall. I looked and first thought, how considerate he was..thinking how the previous person who left the toilet did not stop to think of others. Then, as I walked off, I had a sudden thought in my mind...I felt like walking back to unhook the door and leave B-52 bomber 2 to fend for himself and enjoy his home-made aromatherapy scents for a while. But of course, nice mingmong decided not to..
Disclaimer
Anyway, just in case any chinaman/woman somehow reads this, and to prevent another chinaman-singaporean furore, I should add that this is not meant to be discriminatory. It is factual that the chinamen in hall here stink. Not only do their rooms stink, they make a mess of the toilet, the kitchen, with no consideration of the other residents in hall. So, not that I am discriminating them, I just stated a fact when I said they smell. In fact, smelling is nothing wrong. I smell too. Just that there are different levels of smells. Some are fragrant (me), some are not (chinamen). But look on the bright side, smelling bad is not that bad, its just your natural pheromones. And the chinagals love such pheromones apparently.
Sidetrack
Story of a chinaman that made me dislike them totally. In year 1, I lived on a level with a chinaman nearby, so we shared the same toilet. The toilet did not have urinals. It only had 2 cubicles. Instead, in place of the urinals that are available in some toilets on guys' levels, there is the washing area. Meaning there is a tap and a place to wash mop or watever stuff. So, every normal person (local) pees in the toilet bowl. However, I dunno why this chinaman decides to pee at the washing area. I dunno if he thinks thats a singapore style urinal or he is just used to peeing on the floor. And this made the toilet bloody smelly everyday, esp on weekends when the cleaning auntie doesn't come. Somewhere in that year, someone probably complained to the hall office and they stuck a note on the wall at the washing area saying "this area is meant for washing only". And one fine day, I saw that chinaman peeing there again right in front of the notice. I'm glad I moved out of that level since. Just one of the many ah tiong stories that jus pisses you off.
