The day has finally come. I will be flying off in 5 hours. A disgustingly long 13hr flight awaits me. Once again, I still am unable to get those front row seats where no one sits in front of you. Its really irritating to see short-farts taking those seats when tall people like me are the ones who really need the leg room. Got myself an aisle seat, but hopefully those sitting beside me will not have a running tap under their pants and wake me up from my slumber.
Flying has always been a dreaded affair since I was young. It all began when I was probably 4 when I took my first plane ride to Penang. All I remember from that trip was having a pain in my ears, and puking for the rest of the day. Don't remember anything else about that trip at all. Then came my next ride when I was 9. I was fooling around with other children in the tour group on the plane, and soon I realised I was giddy, and some serious stomach hurling followed, all the way to the hotel in Perth. And since then, travelling has become a chore, especially long haul flights, which was much longer in the past when aviation technology was inferior. A trip to Los Angeles took me 20 hours with a transit in Tokyo. That was pure hell for an 10 year old boy plagued with air-sickness.
What's interesting about this "sickness" of mine is that it is not motion induced. Its evident since I already start feeling queezy and sometimes even puke before the plane even takes off. After years of mental and physical torment, I sniffed out the cause of my human-to-merlion transformation. I attribute it to the smell of brewing coffee in the cabin. I don't get affected by the smell of coffee on land, but somehow, the smell of coffee in the airplane is just different.
So anyway, I finally got over my spewing spells once I hit 18. Realised it when I started frequent trips overseas after a 4 year hiatus. Managed to get through most of my flights since then unscathed, barring a few times where I just retched to make myself feel better. Although I have not suffered serious bouts of violent heaving in a long time, I still feel the pre-flight gitters, fearing a relapse. Barfing is definitely not on my favourites list. Which is prolly why I decided that getting piss drunk is dumb. Hopefully, this time I will be fine again.
This is just one of those quirky traits of the mingmongster. Another would be my abhorrence for Bee Hoon, which is another story altogether.
Anyway, as a preventive measure, I always try to sleep most of the journey on the plane. Neither do I eat much of the food they serve on board. Neither do I go to the toilet much. And only when I feel good inside, I will stay up to watch the movies. Therefore, I think I am the perfect customer for the airliners. Unlike Alex, who shamelessly proclaimed that he drinks as much as he can on his flights. Stewardesses loathe him for constantly pressing the call button. Passengers shun him for his drunken stupor. Airliners wish they have less of him on their flights. The only time I think he fits in well with the other passengers is when he flies to/from India. I hear the Indians are alcohol guzzlers on board. Probably because its free.
Personally, I don't maximize my air fare in the same way. The only time I make the stewardesses work for me is when I hand them my stomach juice filled air sickness bags to dispose of. I've always wondered what they do with it. Do they chuck it down the toilet bowl? Which reminds me of another thing I've always wondered about. Do they store the shit and pee in the plane while its in the air? Or do they release it sometime during the flight? If they do release it, I suppose its over the sea, since we don't ever see shit/pee falling from the sky. Only things that fall from the sky are: rain, dead birds, planes (choy! lucky I'm typing on a wooden table), and mangoes.
Funnily, as much as I hate flying, I love travelling. I hope that someday, someone will invent a teleport machine.
Anyway, as I type this, I am talking to Winnie, not the Pooh. She's telling me the type of guy she is attracted to...
Winnie: I like someone with ambition and determination, knows what he wants and how to get there and is doing something about it.
What it really means... Winnie likes someone who will have a good career and earn big bucks, so that she can sit at home and be a tai tai and shake leg and spend all his money.
Winnie: I like someone who can communicate with me, and I can be quite extreme in temperament, so he has to take it.
What it really means... Winnie likes someone whom she can bully. Keeping quiet and not complaining when being bullied constitutes being able to communicate with Winnie.
Winnie: I like someone who can be fun, and boring at times too, cos I can be very boring. I just wanna stay home and read my book.
What it really means... Winnie is a boring girl. She likes nerds who only stay home and read books with her.
She just had a recent Hong Kong trip with frens. She was with 2 couples and a single guy. On that single guy, whom she denies having any romance blossoming during the trip...
Winnie: I believe in attraction. For that other guy on the trip, there wasn't any.
What it really means... The other guy on the trip is butt ugly, thus Winnie was not attracted to him.
Sometimes, its really easy to decipher what girls really mean. Heh.
Alrites, time to rest and prepare to check in. Maybe I'll blog when I can when I'm over there. If lucky, maybe can upload photos.
The day has finally come. I will be flying off in 5 hours. A disgustingly long 13hr flight awaits me. Once again, I still am unable to get those front row seats where no one sits in front of you. Its really irritating to see short-farts taking those seats when tall people like me are the ones who really need the leg room. Got myself an aisle seat, but hopefully those sitting beside me will not have a running tap under their pants and wake me up from my slumber.
Flying has always been a dreaded affair since I was young. It all began when I was probably 4 when I took my first plane ride to Penang. All I remember from that trip was having a pain in my ears, and puking for the rest of the day. Don't remember anything else about that trip at all. Then came my next ride when I was 9. I was fooling around with other children in the tour group on the plane, and soon I realised I was giddy, and some serious stomach hurling followed, all the way to the hotel in Perth. And since then, travelling has become a chore, especially long haul flights, which was much longer in the past when aviation technology was inferior. A trip to Los Angeles took me 20 hours with a transit in Tokyo. That was pure hell for an 10 year old boy plagued with air-sickness.
What's interesting about this "sickness" of mine is that it is not motion induced. Its evident since I already start feeling queezy and sometimes even puke before the plane even takes off. After years of mental and physical torment, I sniffed out the cause of my human-to-merlion transformation. I attribute it to the smell of brewing coffee in the cabin. I don't get affected by the smell of coffee on land, but somehow, the smell of coffee in the airplane is just different.
So anyway, I finally got over my spewing spells once I hit 18. Realised it when I started frequent trips overseas after a 4 year hiatus. Managed to get through most of my flights since then unscathed, barring a few times where I just retched to make myself feel better. Although I have not suffered serious bouts of violent heaving in a long time, I still feel the pre-flight gitters, fearing a relapse. Barfing is definitely not on my favourites list. Which is prolly why I decided that getting piss drunk is dumb. Hopefully, this time I will be fine again.
This is just one of those quirky traits of the mingmongster. Another would be my abhorrence for Bee Hoon, which is another story altogether.
Anyway, as a preventive measure, I always try to sleep most of the journey on the plane. Neither do I eat much of the food they serve on board. Neither do I go to the toilet much. And only when I feel good inside, I will stay up to watch the movies. Therefore, I think I am the perfect customer for the airliners. Unlike Alex, who shamelessly proclaimed that he drinks as much as he can on his flights. Stewardesses loathe him for constantly pressing the call button. Passengers shun him for his drunken stupor. Airliners wish they have less of him on their flights. The only time I think he fits in well with the other passengers is when he flies to/from India. I hear the Indians are alcohol guzzlers on board. Probably because its free.
Personally, I don't maximize my air fare in the same way. The only time I make the stewardesses work for me is when I hand them my stomach juice filled air sickness bags to dispose of. I've always wondered what they do with it. Do they chuck it down the toilet bowl? Which reminds me of another thing I've always wondered about. Do they store the shit and pee in the plane while its in the air? Or do they release it sometime during the flight? If they do release it, I suppose its over the sea, since we don't ever see shit/pee falling from the sky. Only things that fall from the sky are: rain, dead birds, planes (choy! lucky I'm typing on a wooden table), and mangoes.
Funnily, as much as I hate flying, I love travelling. I hope that someday, someone will invent a teleport machine.
Anyway, as I type this, I am talking to Winnie, not the Pooh. She's telling me the type of guy she is attracted to...
Winnie: I like someone with ambition and determination, knows what he wants and how to get there and is doing something about it.
What it really means... Winnie likes someone who will have a good career and earn big bucks, so that she can sit at home and be a tai tai and shake leg and spend all his money.
Winnie: I like someone who can communicate with me, and I can be quite extreme in temperament, so he has to take it.
What it really means... Winnie likes someone whom she can bully. Keeping quiet and not complaining when being bullied constitutes being able to communicate with Winnie.
Winnie: I like someone who can be fun, and boring at times too, cos I can be very boring. I just wanna stay home and read my book.
What it really means... Winnie is a boring girl. She likes nerds who only stay home and read books with her.
She just had a recent Hong Kong trip with frens. She was with 2 couples and a single guy. On that single guy, whom she denies having any romance blossoming during the trip...
Winnie: I believe in attraction. For that other guy on the trip, there wasn't any.
What it really means... The other guy on the trip is butt ugly, thus Winnie was not attracted to him.
Sometimes, its really easy to decipher what girls really mean. Heh.
Alrites, time to rest and prepare to check in. Maybe I'll blog when I can when I'm over there. If lucky, maybe can upload photos.
