Mingmong soup for the languid mind..

S.B.S. Transit

2005-11-02T13:54:00.000+08:00

I am writing this because I am Super Buay Song. Let me tell you why...

Today, I'm off work because I worked yesterday. So here I am alone at home at lunch time with nothing to eat. I looked in the kitchen and nothing available for me to cook. Therefore, I decided to go to the nearby coffeeshop to buy lunch (nearby in my case is not like a stone's throw away).

Mode of transport: Brother's bicycle.

I hopped on his bike and I realised his tires were a little low on air. But I decided to use it anyway since the I didn't want to be walking with the mid-day sun blazing down on me. There is a petrol station near the coffeshop anyway, so I can pump in some air for the ride back.

So I went on my journey. Got to the petrol station and tried to inflate the tires. Failed. Somehow, his $1,000 bike has special tires that doesn't seem to inflate like a normal bike. So I gave up and proceeded to get my lunch and hurry back.

While waiting for my food, I noticed that he had a mini air pump attached to his bike. So I figured that a special bike requires a special pump. I decided to give it a go. I pumped and pumped and pumped, but the tire just didn't seem to feel any different. Then I fiddled with this screw on the tire needle and suddenly, I was letting the air out!

GREAT. I had a flat tire. I pondered my next move: 1) push the bicycle all the way home, or 2) take a bus. Considering the weather, my lunch which I had to carry in one hand, and the fact that I might spoil the delicate premium tires by working it while its flat, taking a bus was the obvious choice. Well, there was a 3rd option which was to take 240, but then I've been taking it too often recently, so better cut back on expenses.

So I sat at the bus stop waiting for the bus. Stomach growling. Food sitting beside me. Sweating even in the shade. Bus taking a mother long time to come (which eventually was about 20 mins). All the ingredients for an irritated Mingmong.

After waiting for what felt like a year, I contemplated walking back instead. However, walking back at that point of time would not have made much sense since I had already invested 10 minutes of waiting time. Suppose I begin walking back and moments later the bus comes, I would end up worse off than if I had waited. So, I waited.

The more I waited, the hungrier I became. I looked at the packet of Hor Fun sitting beside me, and I decided to eat it while waiting. I picked it up and opened the plastic bag. They didn't give me chopsticks. Great. The Hor Fun went back to sit beside me. I sat there and wait for the SBS bus to come, wait until See Bey Sian

After 10 years, the bus finally came. The door opened. I lifted my bike and went up the bus, grateful that I can finally get some air con. BUT, the bloody bus driver, or shall I call him more professionally, Bus Captain (pwee!) said "Eh, bu ke yi!" WTF?!

I told him my tire was flat. He said "bu ke yi!"

I said I only would ride for 2 stops. He said "bu ke yi!"

I asked why cannot. He said "bu ke yi!"

WTF?!?!

I got off the bus. Incensed. The bus drove off. KNNBCCB.

In the end I had to push the bike all the way home. Dunno why today I See Bey Suay. I should have just pushed it back right from the beginning. But that is not the point. Why in the world was I not allowed to get on to the bus with a bicycle?! The damn bus was empty, so I definitely would not be taking up too much space. My bike was spanking clean. No mud, no wet tires or anything, so I definitely would not be dirtying the bus (as if SBS buses are clean to begin with). What possible reason was there to refuse me entry into a bus?! There is no sign in the bus that says "NO BICYCLES ALLOWED. FINE $500." Or is it because my bicycle has no EZ Link card? Bloody hell.

As I walked, I decided that I am going to write in to SBS to complain. Or maybe write to TODAY's forum to demand an explaination from SBS. Bloody SBS, make me Super Buay Song. In Europe, people can bring bicycles on to the buses or trains. Can bring DOGS even.

Bloody SBS always put the big big banners or posters in the interchange or on the buses to say their Bus Captain very good. Then show which drivers win what Best Bus Captain of the month or Courtesy Award or what fuck. Picture show the bus drivers all wear the green shirt and show you nice smile. Outside the bus put this kind of advertisement, but the door open to let you go in, the bus driver say "Sorri, Buay Sai!", then you lan lan have to walk home. Gahmen still want to talk about what service excellence in Singapore and what Tau Gey not enough. If I take bus and they SBS driver know how to say "Salut! Bon Soir" then maybe la.

I then went to surf the SBS website and this was what I found...

CORE BELIEFS:

We will :

Be driven by our customers’ needs
Strive for excellence in everything we do
Act with integrity at all times
Treat people with fairness and respect

blah blah blah.....

PWEE! Customers' needs kee lan. When I NEEDED to take a bus, they tell me I NEED to walk back. I think they write that statement wrongly la, should be "we will DRIVE our customers' needs". They decide what their customer needs.

After I came home, I went to take a shower to cool down. Refreshed, I ate my Hor Fun. Food cheers me up. I thought I would forget the whole incident, but then I picked up the newspaper and I see the front page headline, "Service on the road to KL goes first-class". Basket I didn't know there were first class buses to KL. I thought take bus to Malaysia only have 2 kinds. One is the normal bus that everyone squeeze into and no leg room. The other is the buses with big seats and lots of leg room. Wah now have buses that have even more leg room, personal entertainment system, and serve meals! As I read the article, I remembered the bloody SBS driver. Small bus company can try to provide good service to customers, but SBS control the public bus network already they bo hiew what customers want. Then SBS think they biggest bus company in Singapore then they See Bey Saat, want to fight SMRT and control train network also by building NEL. But in the end, build one Buangkok only for white elephants to use.

After reading that article, I thought I should just forget it since I can't boycott SBS, unless SMRT send their buses to my house area. Then I go to the next page of the newspaper. Na bey. Headline: "SBS takes fresh look at providing real-time bus info". SBS today really out to make me dulan man. I read the article and SBS say they want invest in building a system to let commuters have real-time information about bus timings. They say it will help commuters plan their trips. Pwee. Put the system there let people know when the bus coming, but when the bus come, cannot go up the bus. Then they will say their costs going up la, then must raise the bus fare again. Or even better, they say people cheat on bus fare then they lose a lot of money, so must raise fare. I think they should spend the money on training their drivers instead. Or build disabled friendly buses. OR buy more buses so don't need to wait so long.

SBS. Spoil my holiday only. Pwee.

P/S : Apologies to reader's outside of Singapore (eg. Scotland, France) for using Singaporean lingo.

F.A.T.

2005-10-18T21:42:00.000+08:00

Ever since I posted my "Before & After" pictures a couple of weeks ago, I have been getting people disturbing me about my new found flabs.

For example...

"Eh, why don't you put up your fat picture (referring to msn pic)"

While others might put it in a more complimentary way though only complimentary in PAST TENSE...

"Wah, can you (referring to 3rd party who knows me) introduce me to the BEFORE Mingmong?"

Some would subtly question my ability to actually be slim at one point in my life...

"Wah, Mingmong got abs ah!??!?!!?!?!?!" (sarcasm detected)

Or in the most direct manner....

"No comments."

It seems like I am indeed the butt (definitely a taut one) of my own joke.

But then, what is it about being fat and slim? Why does the word FAT always bring about a connotation of unattractiveness or being undesirable? This issue about being FAT is becoming more widespread nowadays. All the slimming centres and slimming pills. Now they even have a reality show about fat people trying to slim down called Villa Wellness.

In the past, I don't think there was such an issue about being fat. I think men in the past thought fat women were hot! For example, Yang Gui Fei who was of Rubenesque proportions could charm an Emperor Tang Xuanzong and caused the collapse of a dynasty. Miss Féi would have probably created a new trend among women of her time. While you see models all having the Vogue look now, models of the past would be eating whole cows to get that Chub look.

Imagine how times have changed...
Now you have a comedian on stage that goes...
"Your mother so fat....when she jump....she get stuck".
And everyone laughs..

During the Tang dynasty, you might affectionately say to your girlfriend..
"Si3 fei2 de4! You very look much fatter today!"
and you wouldn't get a Ru Lai Shen Zhang to your face.

What is a man's most feared question?
Nope. Its not "Will you marry me?".
Nope. Its not "Are you gay?"
Nope. Its not "Dear...are you firing blanks?"

But it is "Darrrrrlllliiinnnnggggg........Do I look fat?"

That is the only question in the world that cannot be answered. Not even by Einstein himself. Why? Because there is no correct answer to it.

Yes = xiang long shi ba zhang to the face.
No = Lie = give you cold shoulder until you spend some moolah on her shopping to make her happy.
Shopping = trying clothes in the fitting room
Trying clothes = "Darrrrrrllllinnnnnnggggggggg..........do I look fat in this dress?"
Yes = 18 xiang long shi ba zhang to the face
No = Lie....

However, I suspect that this question was also unanswerable in the past.
No = suffocated to death between your girlfriend's butt cheeks.
Yes = Lie = cold shoulder until you spend some gold taels on her lunch and dinner to make her happy.
Lunch + Dinner = "Darrrrlllliiinnnggggg.......do I look fatter after eating?"
No = death by aphyxiation between layer 1 and layer 2 of her belly.
Yes = Lie....

So, yes I am FAT, but then its time this becomes trendy again. So I have decided to be the one to start it! So why not everyone follow suit and let's see who has a bigger belly!

I am stopping here because I am feeling sleepy after a full lunch. Time for bed.

How to be a famous blogger

2005-10-08T13:48:00.000+08:00

Over the last 2 years, blogging has evolved from an online diary to a fad/craze/in thing. In addition, blogging went one step further by offering people a fast track to becoming a celebrity. For example, Miss Xiaxue, Singapore's very first celebrity blogger seems to be getting sponsorship deals, media-related jobs/invites to parties, and has transformed her into a somewhat celebrity of her own.

What exactly makes these people so famous? What is it about their blogs that attract hordes of readers such their daily hits far exceeds the monthly hits of a normal blog like the Mingmongster?

Well, I have gone through some of these famous blogs and I think I know why my blog is not as popular.

These are the factors that contribute to a famous blog and you shall see why the Mingmongster is not celebrity blog material.....

Rule #1 : Post lots of pictures, and master the Photoshopping Skill.

If you take a look at Xiaxue, you will find a multitude of pictures. Approximately half of her entries are littered with pictures. Most of which are naturally of herself. Narcissitic you might say? Maybe. But it allows readers to know who the protagonist actually is. However, it is useless to just put up pictures of yourself because a whole lot of people do that too. So what would distinguish yourself and enhance your pictures (and possibly your face) is to be an expert in Photoshop.

This poses another question. If you are an expert at Photoshop, your pictures might not be a true reflection of yourself, which contradicts the point about how readers like to know who the writer is.

Aha! Now this is the tricky part. Now your readers will start wondering (for example), if Xiaxue as hot as she looks on her blog? Or...Are Xiaxue's boobs as big as they look on her blog? This would certainly cause readers to make return visits to your blog in hope of satisfying their curiosity by waiting for you to post a real, unedited picture of yourself.

Then this poses another question. What happens then if you post a real unedited picture of yourself? Wouldn't your readers finally satisfy their curiosity and stop coming back to your blog? Now comes the ultimate secret to keeping your readers forever: Post some edited, ugly pictures of yourself! How would this help you might ask? Well, firstly, your readers would see a hideously ugly picture of yourself, but they know you have edited it with your exemptional Photoshop skills. Then one fine day when you decide to post a real, unedited picture of yourself, your readers would not be able to identify whether that is an unedited picture or not. They might probably think (for example), "Oh, its another one of those edited to be ugly picture of Xiaxue again. Boy this time its really Fugly. Man, she's good with Photoshop!" when in actual fact its her real picture. So this goes on and on, and readers will keep coming back to your blog.

But then again, there is a flaw to this tactic. You must not be seen in public. However, Xiaxue has masterfully provided an answer to this loophole. In her recent 24 Sept post "My make up secrets revealed", we discover that she has mastered the penultimate level of the Photoshopping Skill: Make Up. This allows her to Photoshop her real face so that even when she goes out, her readers will still be mystified by her looks and still not know how she looks au naturel.

If one day she learns Sun Wu Kong's 七十而变化（don't know why the chinese characters don't seem to come out properly but this is qi1 shi2 er4 bian4 hua4), then she can 称霸武陵 (cheng1 ba4 wu3 ling2).

Well, I think I have posted a substantial amount of photos since I started blogging, but then, I have failed to master even Level 1 of the Photoshopping Skill. But then, I have always posted real pictures of myself. People get bored looking at it after a while. Therefore, I shall model my blog after the genius Xiaxue and edit my pictures too!

Although I cannot get Xiaxue the Photoshop 神 (shen) to be my 师父 (shi fu), but I shall not be disheartened...because I once heard a saying...by a chubby dude...who can't drive for nuts...

"其实神也是人。但他做了一些人做不到的事，才会称为神。“
(qi shi shen ye shi ren. dan shi ta zhuo le yi xie ren zhuo bu dao de shi, cai hui cheng wei shen)

Thus, I decided I could also learn her skills myself too! I figured, maybe with some makeup on, I could probably get that aura of mystery too...

Wonder if this will work....

Rule #2: Look irresistably hot/pretty/sexy/gorgeous

Another famous blog that I have come across would be that of Daphne Teo. She also has loads of pictures on her blog, but they are not photoshopped at all. How come this works for her? Well, the answer is obvious...she's too good looking to need any editing. Readers (guys who fantasize about her, and girls who just admire her) will keep coming back to check out her latest pics.

Even Xiaxue has hot pics of herself too! (Sorry XX, ripped w/o permission)

This guess proves why my blog isn't such a hit.

But then...I guess I can't improve on this aspect much since you have to be born with it...can't really expect popularity to come with pictures like this....

But then, I have to try...

I am comforted by the story of the ugly duckling...and the frog prince...and those movies where an ugly girl eventually becomes the prom queen...and Extreme makeover...

I can be hot too!!!!!

(thanks to a highly skilled photoshopper: my sis...I can also be hot!)

Rule #3: Show off your pretty clothes and shoes and bags etc etc

In addition to her beauty, Daphne's wealth helps in the popularity too. Girls probably just dig her clothes, accessories, bags, shoes, blah blah blah. She regularly goes shopping and displays her new buys on her blog...definitely to the envy of those who don't have such a deep pocket..

Unfortunately for me, I have no fashion tips to offer nor pretty clothes to share with everyone...
I prefer dress more casually...

Rule #4: Be as vulgar as possible.

Currently, my favourite read is Rockson's blog. This dude if bloody funny. And bloody vulgar. I figured that it was the way he writes that makes his entries so entertaining. The distinguishing factor about his writing style is his offensively vulgar critiques. However, if you were to read carefully, you would realise that it is actually some really intelligent banter and political satire, barring the profanities of every different dialect found after every 5 words on average and leaving no part of the human anatomy unmentioned.

This made me wonder...if I were to add in such profane expletives into my posts, would it also get me more readers?

Just compare the following...

Rockson wrote (lifted from his latest post):
"He also very excited when he call me. He said gahmen going to pump $160 million to make his Aljunied (he live in Simei) become more solid. I say him he is like pregnant woman who forget how pain the baby last time make her cheebye, and now want to seh baby again.

Everytime got election, gahmen like to give us many goodie, like neh neh for us to suck. Singapore share (is like Indon gahmen give rupiah to the village to vote them), upgrading the flat (because last time they too ngeow never install the lift), plus promise this and promise that. Hope that people smell the cheebye already will forget the bad thing in the last four year.

More Simi Lan Cheow Good Year."

If I were to write something like that...it would probably turn out something like this...

Mingmong wrote:
"He sounded exhilarated when he called me. He said that the government has decided to invest $160 million to upgrade Aljunied (but I could not comprehend why he was in such an ecstatic mood because he lives in Simei). I kindly reminded him of the old saying 'once bitten, twice shy' as I felt that he should not forget what happened in the past and fall into the same trap again.

Each time there is an election, the government would offer us many perquisites. For example, the Singapore shares (some would argue it is similar to the way the Indonesian government paid villagers to vote for them), HDB upgrading (which was delayed due to insufficient funds), and many other promises. All these in hope that people would recognise the incumbent government's competence and vote them in again.

The best is yet to come."

Now, I believe everyone would have fallen asleep reading the 2nd passage. Whereas Rockson keeps you constantly entertained, or keeps you constantly cringing with every penis he mentions.

Therefore, I think its time I changed the way I write!

But, I wouldn't want to copy Rockson's dialect-styled writings. I shall have mine in English only, which would draw more readers since I would cater to readers from abroad also who do not understand our Singlish.

Fuck.

I can't do it. I can't bring myself to publish a paragraph of obscenities.

Sigh...

What's that you say?

Why? You think I am a pussy?

Penis understand!

Ok...that's too much for me..

I think I shall just remain as the simple ole Mingmong...

Don't yearn to be a famous blogger. Just in case I end up famous on the newspapers and join the other 2 in jail tomorrow.

I guess I should just be original and not try to copy what the successful bloggers have done and model my blog after them, nor my pictures.......

I'm back!

2005-10-01T20:47:00.000+08:00

Its been a long time since I updated my blog. Many reasons why I haven't been blogging of late:

1) Work. After I officially started work with my team, there was a 2 week period where I worked late everyday. Late = averaging 8 - 9 pm. So by the time I get home, shack already, all I want to do is sleep.

2) Condor Heroes. Being a fan of Louis Cha's 4 famous stories, I naturally will watch the latest remake of the Condor Heroes, even though its a China version. I couldn't wait to watch 2 episodes every Saturday so I bought the dvds. Consequently, on the days when I get home earlier, I will plop into the sofa and indulge in Guo Jing and his adventures. However, I was quite disappointed with how they ended the show. Still think the older versions were better.

Anyway, now that my brain is occupied for most of my waking hours at work, I have little time to think of things to write, let alone sit down by the computer for an hour typing an entry. In fact, I already stare at the computer (2 monitors at once in fact) at the office the whole day, I automatically shun my own computer when I get home. I think I am also going blind looking at tiny little numbers everyday.

Just to update the happenings from the last post. In the end, I decided that the Chinese dude was not entertaining me enough, and I decided to bo hiew him. However, he did send me a copy of his passport.

This picture can be found on yahoo. How do I know? Well, because I was anticipating that he might as me for a copy of my passport too. So I went to yahoo images to look for passport pictures and I found some that look like this too. And this Mr Chu is such a moron. He just typed his English name over the original one, but left the Chinese characters unchanged. Little did he know that I can read Chinese.

Well, nothing much to write about since I haven't put much thought into this entry. Nothing to do on a Saturday night so I decided to put something up so that my dear readers will be surprised the next time they refresh my page.

Since there is nothing I have to write about, I can only write about what my life has been all about: WORK.

Well, work is great. Lots of learning everyday. However, I think my laptop doesn't like me. For the first 2 weeks, it gave me endless problems. Everyday I would go to office and find some problem with a program or monitor or mouse etc. And I will go looking for the IT lady to come help me fix it up. I think sometimes she comes to my desk 2-3 times a day. So after a while, if I see her in the morning, I would say, "I hope I don't see you again today!".

Apart from working, I also eat a lot. I think I am grabbing an ice-cream from the fridge almost everyday. Ha. Especially when I know I am going to stay late, an ice-cream really cheers me up man. Other than that, there are also the free lunches we sometimes have. Just this week, a new guy joined my department and we had a welcome lunch for him. This is a common practice, and I also did have mine too and it was at Spizza. This time we went to Keppel Club just down the road from Harbour Front. Ate at this Italian restaurant where the food was quite ex, but good. Other than that, from all that I remember in the last month, I think I've had quite a few free lunches. Helps me save money. Ha.

Anyway, I've mentioned how amazing one of the pantries in my office looks. Not sure if I am allowed to do this, but since I didn't mention what company I am in, and its only a pantry, I shall give you all a glimpse at it.

Do you believe me if I said this is my pantry?

Well, I think I get the same response when I show someone this picture. But, yes, this is then nicest pantry in the office. Facing Sentosa somemore. And just a couple of weeks ago, we had a Haagen-Daaz party to celebrate us reaching another milestone for the year. I was just expectign them to bring in some tubs of Haagen-Daaz and we go take when we want to eat. But, they called in the Haagen-Daaz people to set up a booth and scoop for us, as many scoops as we want, plus toppings! Also, there was also Haagen-Daaz ice-cream mooncakes!

Another cool event was APPEC (Asia-Pacific Petroleum Conference). Went for one of the party nights organised by my company. Saw Rachael Lee there. Some friends have asked me if Rachael Lee was also doing the same thing as me, and I had no clue. Well, now I know. She isn't an oil trader. She's kinda like a broker. It seems some broking houses hire pretty ladies to be brokers because they help bring in business. And true enough, she was with this other hotter gal going around passing their namecards to the guys. But oh well, women who have looks definitely have an advantage sometimes.

Me and my friends we the newbies, so it was hard talking to people there. Some are quite pragmatic, and prefer to talk to people who can offer them business.

On the left is a Vietnamese dude from NUS. Then comes an Actuarial Science genius from my school. And beside me this brother from India. Bloody smart guy. When he told me all his paper qualifications, my jaw just dropped in disbelief. I think he is more qualified than any guy in the office man. He is only 25 or 26 i think, but he has 1 Bachelor, 2 Masters, is a Chartered Accountant, and is taking Level 3 CFA next June. WTF!!! What's more freaky is that he is among the top 1% in his MBA school in India which happens to be the top Indian University. WTF!!!! And he dealt me the killer blow when he said he worked in Goldman for a year, and when they offered him a permanent job as an equities trader, he rejected it. WTF!!!!

This is what makes me stress sia. Competition is strong in the office. I am surrounded by geniuses.

Anyway, I have realised that working has changed me. Coming out from school and starting work changes a person, ALOT. For example, in school I sleep at least 8-9 hours a day. Sometimes even more. I do brainless things like watch tv, chat online, watch movies on my comp, sleep, and think of rubbish to blog about etc etc. Now, no time to rot man! So sad. Heh.
Also, now cannot have blonde hair, cannot change hairstyle every few months, cannot wear berms etc. But actually, I still got coloured hair la. Ha. And still wear jeans to work la. Quite relak one. But still...Now have to look a little bit more professional liao.

This is pictorial evidence of what I mean....

Unfortunately, that is not the only change. That is only on the outside. From Ah Beng, become working professional. That's good. But then, on the inside, not so good picture. Everyday eat, sit at the computer in office, eat, go home sleep. No exercise. Company give me ice-cream, canned drinks, and chocolate to eat everyday. How to not grow fat?!?!?!

Look!!!

Before was just in June when I was in Spain, but now....HAIZZZZZZZZZZ.

The worst thing that can happen next would be me starting to bald (CHOY!). heh.

Kenneth, have I just proven your fears? Hahaha.

Signed up for the Stan Chart marathon with the company. Think I am gonna die after 1 km. Jialat.

Alrights, nothing to type liao. Shall end off with this picture of my naughty Tiny.

Somehow, he looks like a Stingray when he sleeps like this.

And, does anyone know how why he loves to bite people?!?!?!?!?! And, anyone knows where is a good place for me to send him for obedience training? He is getting to naughty for me. Bite non-stop. Sometimes play play, but sometimes damn hard. Also, he is shedding fur like mad! HELP!!! Anyone know the reason and cure please tell me too!

Till next time! (hope it won't be another month later. Ha.)

The China Scam

2005-09-06T22:51:00.000+08:00

Been having late nights at work for the past few days. Shack. But glad that the busy days are over for now. Anyway, here's a follow up on the previous post. I know this is a lazy way of blogging since this is just cut and paste, but all my brain juice is used up by the time I get home. Oh well, for now you will have to make do with this, till I settle in properly at work and have more time to think about the out of point things I used to think about in the past.

sengchen chu wrote:
Dear Goh Yit Shyt,

Greetings to you,I received all your updates and now I am very certain that you are ready to give the required assistance and execute this business with me. I apologize for this late response as I was attending a Summit in Beijing with insufficient time for sensitive matter as I do not want any mistakes in this business. hope this will turn out be a long and lasting bussiness relationship together.This transaction is 100% safe and legal as you'll get to see as we go along, all procedures leading to the transfer of the funds to your local account or through our correspondent bank has to be secured with strict adherence to statutory provision of the law. As soon as the machinery to commence is set in motion, all the proof and copies of the documentation shall be sent to you in the course of the transaction and as at when due.

Due to the very sensitive nature of this pending transaction, please bear with me if I am being a little vague at this early stage as I am as skeptical as you are with communicating with a total stranger, but please be rest assured that the funds will be backed up with documents stating the origin of the fund and that it being funds for an inheritance going by the documents that will be secured, you will not have anything to worry about. It is a given thing that trusts is earned, it is not given out lightly, however, because of my dire need for a foreign partner in this transaction, I request your assistance to pose/ stand as the next of kin to the beneficiary of the estate of the deceased and all that is contained in the Will as shall be drafted and prepared by a notary public attroney. The WILL and other supporting legal documents shall establish you legally as the next of kin and sole beneficiary and executor of the estate and WILL of the deceased.

For this, I urge you to propose a reasonble percentage of the total funds as your share and as an _expression of my gratitude for your assistance and partnership, thus encouraging you to guaranty that my share of the funds will be secured and transferred to me as when required. I shall require some information and a brief profile of yourself and upon receipt of the information, I shall immediately begin the processes which will lead to the approval and release of the funds to you as the bonafide executor and next of kin of the depositor going by the documents that will be secured. After all the necessary documentation for the funds release are met and satisfied, an approval shall be given by the legal department of my bank for the eventual release of the funds to your nominated local account, or via our accredited correspondent bank. When the funds gets to the correspondent bank and into a account with the bank that you shall be required to open, you can transfer the money to your local account or any other account at your convinience and transfer a certain percentage of my share of the funds to me through an account that I shall give to you at that time. Please note also that the funds can be transferred to your local account if we meet the requirement for the direct transfer. I shall equally require your assistance in advising me on good investment opportunities in your country as I might invest the remaining part of my share of the funds in your country for the obvious security reason that might be breached if we come to back to my country with my share of the funds.

It is my hope that the funds can be transferred into your account within ten (10) banking days from the date you provide me with the information that I need to prepare the documents, but for now, I need to ascertain your ability to control and safe guard a large sum of money and guarantee that I shall get my share of the funds from you as soon as you receive the money in your account, I need to following from you:

Your full name and address;
Your confidential telephone and fax numbers:
A brief profile of yourself:

I might be able to contact you via telephone and once I clarify your willingness and ability to proceed with the transaction, I shall immediately give more insight as to what is expected of you for this transaction to come true. You may send me an e-mail with further information about yourself so that I can provide you with the rest details for us to proceed further. Should you decide not to render this assistance, it will be taken in good faith as this will enable me source for another person in the event of non-interest on your part.

I will not be able to send you my pass port ok as am not comfortable with this ok,because i still dont know who you are and this is a very huge amount of funds,so am always very carefull letting out the confidentiality of this transaction,but you can give me a telephone call on my confidential number as it was gotten forb this transaction alone for top most cnfidentiality. +88 21621527285

Kind regards,

Mr. Chu Sengchen
CHINA

Ps: I am a parent with 4 children and a wife, I cannot do anything that will keep me away from them so berest assured. All you need to know as regards my bankand other detailed information shall be brought toyour attention during the course of this transaction. Yea yea, try telling that to a real business partner. Having 4 kids and a wife my ass. Although the 1 child policy is gone, isn't there still a restriction on the family size?

Dear Mr Chu Sengchen

I understand your position with regards to security of information. However, being vague is not helping me in making a decision. I have understood your proposal with regards to this transaction and the further investment of your share of the funds in my country, but I still have my reservations with regards to the security of my personal information.

I would request that you can provide me with some form of collateral as assurance so as to reduce any risk of my personal information falling into the wrong hands. I can provide you with the following information as such:

Name: Goh Yit Shyt
D.O.B. : 29 Feb 1973
Country of residence: Malaysia
State: Si mi lan jau (this is a real place!)

I am currently working in an investment bank as the Vice-President of the Mountebanking Division. I have 10 years of working experience in the finance sector and you can be assured that I can help direct your funds to the areas which will reap the largest return.

As you are also working in a bank, I am sure you are familiar with the credit policies of a bank, which includes running a background check on the creditor or counterparty to ensure that he does not default on his payments. Therefore, I hope that you would be most understanding in my requests for a more detailed profile of you as well.

Also, I would like to inform you that I have roped in a friend of mine as my business partner in this deal. His personal information is as such:

Name: Yew Pang Tsai (the T in Tsai is silent)
Occupation: CEO of Major Sanitary Business Provider

Unfortunately, I am unable to provide you with a secure bank account number at the moment as I am still in the process of applying for a Swiss bank account to allow you to deposit the funds into. Do allow a few business days for the application to be processed by the Swiss bank.

I will forward my bank account number to you as soon as it is ready. In the meantime, I hope you would furnish me with more information about yourself and also a picture of yourself.

Sincerely,

Goh Yit Shyt (pronounced "Go-Eat-Shit")

sengchen chu wrote:
Dear Ming,

Greetings to you,I want to apologise for the delay in my response to you,I was assigne to an official asignement in bergjin with now privacy time to get back to you,anyway I nhave just gone through your correspondences and I want you to know that your informations is not enough to get this transaction started,this is legal documentataions that will be drafted by the accrdited attornys,this legal documenetaions cannot be contested afterwards,so any wrong informations you send down will jeopardise this transaction as a very huge amount of funds is going to be incured for the services of the attorney.

I have surcided in letting out alot of vital informations to you which am not comfortable about as I have still not confirmed your willingness to assit with this transaction,the attorneys has since being on stand by and nothing has being done till now,please I want you to know the urgency of this transaction and also please confirm your full willingness to assist and lets get started by providing your full name and address,this will be started in the WILL ok so its very important you supply the correct address. (all right, I will give u my full name and correct address...)

I have nothing to get from you ok rather am bringing joy to you and your family as am a family man myself and I dont want to do anythong to hurt another be rest assured. (he seems to love ending his emails with this family shit)

I wait to get informations from you and lets get started.

Thanks Partner
Mr Chu Sengchen

Dear Mr Chu,

This is the information you have requested.

Name: Goh Yit Shyt
Address: 369 Upyerass (pronounced "Up-Yer-Ass") St, Suite 4, 554845 New York State, USA

I hope you can now also similarly provide me with your personal details.

Sincerely,

Goh Yit Shyt

sengchen chu wrote:
Attention: , Goh Yit Shyt,

* This information is very confidential. It is for you only *

Now I am certain that you are willing to give the required assistance and I must maintain that we shall succeed as we are about to commence this deal,I was a little hill so this is couse of my delay to you anyway, Let me reiterate here that I seek an assistance from you that will benefit us immersely. I beleive in the principle of look before you leap, that is why I am sending you more information to enable you have an indepth and total understanding of this transaction before we commence. If after reading this detail you deem it fit to render the desired assistance, then give me a call so we can proceed, if your response is in the negative, please do well to inform me via email and destory all the communication we have shared.

I feel safer to divulge some vital information about this transaction to you at this time as I have done above by giving you my data and to bring you into the full picture of this deal with your apparent understanding of the need for utmost confidentiality and secrecy about every detail of this transaction till such a time when it is safe to do otherwise.

What must be done:

I have already take the information you have provided to the Attorney who will prepare the necessary documents and affidavits which will put you in place as the next of kin. The attorney will draft a Will which will name you as the beneficiary/sole executor of the Will. This WILL will be backdated to purport that it had been written and signed by the depositor himself. The attorney will file in the High court with an appropriate affidavit in order to empowering you as the next of kin/Sole Beneficiary and Trustee/Sole Executor of the Estate of depositor which includes the sum of US$30M lying in the account number which I shall give you. All these processes will be accomplished within 7 working days and money will be transferred to your account immediately. The very good thing about this transaction is that it will be done in a very proper and legal manner.

Upon preparation of these documents and approvals from the relevant authorities, then our correspondence bank in Europe/Canada will now transfer the money to your nominated account. The attorney will handle all the processes of obtaining the approvals on your behalf and therefore I ask that you be very certain of the bank information you have provided. On completion of this transaction, you will be required to hold this fund in your account until I come over to your country for the sharing of the money.

There is no risk at all as all the paperwork for this transaction will be done by the Attorney and my position as the Branch Manager guarantees the successful execution of this transaction. Please observe utmost confidentiality, and be rest assured that this transaction would be most profitable for both of us. I hope this will be an enduring partnership, because I will need your help to do a research into viable and feasible investment options for me; because I shall require your assistance to invest my share in your country as any attempt for me to invest my share of the money in my country will only trigger off attention to me and a chain of investigation will ensue.

It is of utmost importance that you communicate only with the provided telephone and fax numbers, So please call me on my telephone number to acknowlegde the receipt of this e mail so we can discuss to smoothen out entangle issues that you do not understand.

Please note that you did not include you confidential telephone number,as this is very imprtant,I need to speak to you on the telephone fo better discussion and aquintances.

(what happened to all the family shit???)

I await your call/response while anticipating your full co-operation.
Partner
Mr Chu Sengchen

Dear Mr Chu,

This is my office telephone number:
(65) 999-7356-244 (if you observe carefully, if he calls this number, he will reach our friendly neighbourhood policeman)

However, I often fly out of the country for business trips and you might not be able to get me in the office. If you can't reach me, please leave a message with the operator. Tell her your name and I will get back to you as soon as I can.

Once again, you have ignored my request for your personal details. You claim to be a Bank Manager and you have an attorney, but I need proof. I also need proof that you are who you say you are. Therefore, I would really appreciate it if you could provide me with some form of evidence that the person I am conversing with actually exists. Ideally, a copy of your passport would be sufficient.

I hope you would not ignore my request again because I have fulfilled my side of the deal by providing you with my personal information, but you have failed to do so. Verbal guarantees alone would not be sufficient.

Regards,

Goh Yit Shyt
Cc: Yew Pang Tsai.

Alrites...that's the latest email he sent me today. Almost time for bed....working life si bey sian..
These are the 10 easy steps to being a working professional.
1) Sleep,
2) wake up,
3) go work,
4) eat lucnh,
5) work,
6) eat dinner late,
7) go home,
8) wash up,
9) repeat step 1

Optional: 10) take care of dog.

If step 10 is applicable, please add "early" to the end of step 2, add "the dog" to end of step 8, and add "late" to the end of step 1.

Fraud & Frauder

2005-09-03T12:35:00.000+08:00

A week ago, I received an email from a Mr Chu Sengchen. I opened the email, and I found that it was one of those email scams that has been going around for a long time. I used to ignore them, but this time, I decided to have some fun....

Here's what the dude had to say....

MR CHU SENGCHEN wrote:

Dear friend,

I am Mr. Chu Sengchen , Branch Manager. I have urgent and very confidential business proposition for you.

On November 6, 1999, a British Oil consultant/contractor with the Chinese Solid Minerals Corporation, Made a numbered time (Fixed) Deposit for twelve calendar months, valued at US$30,000,000.00 (Thirty Million Dollars) in my branch. Upon maturity, I sent a routine notification to his forwarding address but got no reply.

After a month, we sent a reminder and finally we discovered from his contract employers, the Chinese Solid Minerals Corporation that he died from an automobile accident. On further investigation, I found out that he died without making a WILL, and all attempts to trace his next of kin was fruitless.

I therefore made further investigation and discovered that he did not declare any kin or relations in all his official documents, including his Bank Deposit paperwork in my Bank. This sum of US$30,000,000.00 is still sitting in my Bank and the interest is being rolled over with the principal sum at the end of each year.

No one will ever come forward to claim it. According to Laws of Republic of China, at the expiration of 6 (six) years, the money will revert to the ownership of the Chinese Government if nobody applies to claim the fund.

Consequently, my proposal is that I will like you as a foreigner to stand in as the next of kin to the man so that the fruits of this old man's labor will not get into the hands of some corrupt government officials. This is simple, I will like you to provide immediately your full names and address so that the attorney will prepare the necessary documents and affidavits that will put you in place as the next of kin.

We shall employ the services of an attorney for drafting and authorization of the WILL and to obtain the necessary documents and letter of probate/administration in your favor for the transfer. A bank account in any part of the world that you will provide will then facilitate the transfer of this money to you as the beneficiary/next of kin. The money will be paid into your account for us to share in the ratio of 80% for me and 20% for you.

There is no risk at all as all the paperwork for this transaction will be done by the attorney and my position as the Branch Manager guarantees the successful execution of this transaction. If you are interested, please reply immediately via the private email address above.

Upon your response, I shall then provide you with more details and relevant documents that will help you understand the transaction. Please send me your confidential telephone and fax numbers for easy communication.Please observe utmost confidentiality, and rest assured that this transaction would be most profitable for both of us because I shall require your assistance to invest my share in your country.

Thanks and regards.

Mr. Chu Sengchen

I figured that since most people already know about such scams, this Mr Chu must be feeling really bored cos he is not receiving any replies. So I decided to entertain him...

Date: Sat, 27 Aug 2005 18:58:45 +0800 (CST)
From: "XXXXX"
Subject: Re: Business proposal
To: c_seng2@yahoo.com.cn

Dear Mr Chu,

My friend who received this email from you has informed me of your proposal.

I am very interested in your business proposition. I have recently finalised a similar deal with a Nigerian businessman and earned a hefty US$10,000,000.

However, before I provide you with my private information, I would like to ensure the integrity of this email and the authencity of your identity.

Please provide me a direct telephone number which we can use to converse and also a photograph of yourself with your passport and company logo in the background.

I hope you understand my concerns before engaging you in this deal. Being a banker yourself, you would know credit risk procedures that need to be performed before entering into deal, especially one that involves a large amount of cash.

Therefore, I hope you have been sincere in your proposal, and I look forward to your most favourable reply together with the contact number and photograph I requested.

Sincerely,

Goh Yit Shyt
Vice-President
Mountebanking Division
JP Longan Chase & Co.

I figured that there would only be 2 possible outcomes to my reply...

1) Mr Chu has a good command on English (which seems evident from his email), and he will realise that I am giving him a load of shit.

2) Mr Chu is a dumbass fraudster and he is going to get conned by Mingmong the mountebanker.

Tune in for more developments to this story of fraudster vs fraudster.

SNAKE ATTACK!!

2005-08-23T21:40:00.000+08:00

A huge snake came into my house that day!

Fortunately, Tiny the Serpent Slayer came to the rescue!!! Finally, he is showing his natural instinct as a hunting dog.

That day, I walked out into the living room and then I saw a long thinggy on the floor from afar. Initially, I thought it was a cloth, but when I got closer, I realised to my horror that it was a bloody huge python!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!!

I screamed! "TINYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!"

And Tiny went "Woof Woof!" and came running out of the room to answer my distress call.

Tiny saw the slithering serpent on the floor as it waited for the right moment to strike. But, brave ole Tiny struck first!!!

Tiny dived headlong into the leviathan creature and bit it!!!!

BRAVE TINY!!! I tried to restrain him and hold him back, but he was too fast for me. He took a few tiny steps forward and took a big bite into its leathery reptilian skin.

Tiny looked so small compared to the Brobdingnagian serpent which started to coil itself around Tiny.

Tiny looked like he was in grave danger!

The serpent spun around Tiny and opened its gargantuan mouth, and tried to bite Tiny in the neck!!

But Tiny is a better fighter. As soon as the serpent was about to sink its fangs into Tiny, Tiny ducked to the left and the serpent missed! And it bit itself!

What great reflexes Tiny!

The serpent hissed in pain.

But it recovered quickly and counter-attacked!

The serpent whipped its tail at Tiny and kept him busy, while it arched its malleable body the and tried to launch an attack from the rear!

But once again, Tiny got the better of it. As the serpent moved in to take a chomp at Tiny's ass, Tiny spun around and took the serpent by surprise...

Tiny bit the serpents tongue!!!

The serpent struggled in pain to break free but in vain. Tiny clung on to its tongue and refused to let go no matter how much the serpent writhed.

After a long tussle, Tiny finally let go and the serpent retreated in pain. But Tiny took the opportunity to deal his finishing blow. It pounced on the serpent and sunk its teeth into its neck!

With a whirlwind twist, Tiny broke the serpent's neck (I know snake's don't have a neck to break, but just take it as such la).

The serpent was finally slayed.

And Tiny stood proudly beside its defeated intruder and gleamed at me.

There you have him, Tiny, the Serpent Slayer!!

*applause*

.
.
.
.

A few minutes later, Tiny pees on the carpet...

Mingmong: "TINYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

There you have him, Mingmong, Pee and Shit cleaner.

*

Brought Tiny to the vet over the weekend for his vaccination, and I saw this litter of 4 Husky pups! So cute!!!!! And so well behaved unlike my Tiny. They all sat quietly on the bench and waited for their turn.

Think you can only see 3 here cos the other is in the laundry bag.

*

So as expected, work is tiring me out each day and Tiny doesn't help much by waking me up in the middle of the night.

But when I said I love my company, I do mean I love it!

Here's a few materialistic reasons why...

1) First day I went to office, they brought us to see the wonderful pantries. Great coffee maker they had. Good snacks and chocolates. Fridge of coke, ribena, milo, nescafe, green tea etc. All my kinda drinks. Then in the other fridge, fruits, fruit juice, milk, etc. Then best of all, in the freezer, MAGNUM AND CORNETTO! MAGNUM...omg... all time favourite ice-cream.

2) They so generously gave me a new handphone and corporate line and an Amex.

3) Every other week, they call in a masseuse for foot and shoulder massage. WTF! And as if the chairs weren't comfortable enough.

4) New IBM Thinkpad also just for me.

5) And of course, the fact that I haven't worked that late yet. But I think that will be striked off real soon.

and many more perks la...so shiok. They really know how to make their staff happy. No wonder people stay for 10-20 years. There's a lady who's been with the company for coming 30 years already. Power.

Alrites. Time to sleep.

Haze Daze

2005-08-18T21:39:00.000+08:00

The haze is back again. Fortunately, it hasn't reached Singapore, yet. But then, it seems like its the worst haze ever this year. Some parts of Malaysia have been declared a state of emergency because of the high PSI levels. I remember the first time the haze hit Singapore many years ago, it was like standing beside a bonfire and inhaling the soot. And at those times, the PSI levels were around the high 100s. This time, it reached as high as 500+ in Malaysia!!!

I wonder how our poor neighbours are handling it...

Imagine if we had such a haze............

Mingmong can't sleep because the air stinks and it even comes through air-con. So he decides to go out...

He finds the visibility to be very poor, but decides to walk on...

He walks....

and walks....

sniffing and suffocating...

he can't see far...

BOINK!!!!

$#%@....

He looks up...

Really must walk slowly man...if not accident like me...

He sian 1/2...so decides to go home and watch TV...

But then...

Kua bo sai...

Machiam got static...

He sian 1/2...decide to go back to sleep...

So he go toilet and have a pre-sleeping pee...

But...

Kua bo sai...

But he bo hiew...

He just pee...

And go back and sleep...

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

This is a totally out of point post. Too damn tired from work to write something proper. Wait till the weekend then.

I love my company.

Tiny

2005-08-14T20:53:00.000+08:00

He's Tiny, he's toony, he's all a little loony...(tune of Tiny Toons)

I've decided to keep Tiny. He can be a little irritating at times when he gets loony and starts biting everything, my hands and legs included, but he is also so cute at times that its hard to resist keep him.

See...how to resist?!

He's also very toony. Comical at times because of the stupid things it does. Most of the time its because he is so clumsy. For example, he runs after me and there is a step from my room area to the living room. He jumps up but sometimes he jumps too early and his legs trip over the step and he tumbles over. hehe. He just loves to trip over himself. As he is still young, I guess he still hasn't got the hang of braking. So he runs and then sometimes he can't brake in time, he bangs into something, or when he makes a turn around a corner, he skids and falls. haha.

There was once, it chased me around the sofa. Beside me sofa there is a bean bag. And as I went around the corner of the sofa, he followed hot on my heels and he couldn't brake, so he crashed into the bean bag head first. haha. But at other times he isn't so lucky to have a soft cushion to crash into. I wonder if he keeps hitting his head against things, or falling on his head, he will become dumb.

It loves to bite everything. Newspapers, wires, me, etc. It found a new toy yesterday. The door stop. It will go pick it up and walk all the way to the sofa where the carpet is and lie there to bite it. So young know how to relak already, must choose nice place to lie on and bite his toy.

Also, I've been trying to get it to sit before I feed it. And it seems like I have succeeded in doing just that. Now I don't even need to say anything it will automatically sit. So guai!

But then again, the best time is also when it sleeps. Today it fell asleep on me while I was using the comp. But then now it refuses to keep still when I put it on me as I type this. So I just let it run around the room. But every now and then, I have to pull it out from under the bed, or get the wires out of his mouth...etc.

So, I've decided to keep my baby. However, tomorrow is my first day at work. Its gonna be home alone from morning till evening. Poor thing. Just hope its able to keep itself occupied. I leave the radio on for it to listen when I'm not around, so that he hears people's voices.

*

Tomorrow marks the end of my long holiday. Or rather, it marks the end of my LAST long holiday. So sad. Bad thing about my office at Harbour Front is that no one else works there. Raffles Place is much better cos all my frens are around the area, the food there is SHIOK (can eat from a different place for 1 month without eating the same thing even), and the gals are hot too! heh. I think the Harbour Front area only have the market and the food court to eat. Nothing else to do there except go Sentosa. Then must change train at Outram, so mafan. But then again, soon the new clubbing arena will be opening there. Oh well, let's see how my first day goes.

Watched Dim Sum Dollies last night. It was superb. Hilarious to the max. I encourage everyone to go watch it. They just extended the show for another 5 days. So hurry and get all the good seats!

Alrites, time to iron clothes and prepare for tomorrow's big day.

Baby Blues

2005-08-11T09:47:00.000+08:00

Ok. I suppose I am not such a good writer, and you all are clever people.

This is my baby...

Cute?

I've always wanted to get a dog when I had my own place and all. But somehow, the idea of getting it sooner just popped into my mind recently. So I decided to go to the pet farm to check out the puppies. Little did I expect to see the cutest things in the world. So cute that it just made me want them even more. I always wanted either a Golden Retrieve or a Collie. Ideal situation, I have both. And the Golden pups I saw were just soooo cute. Irresistable. Seeing the real thing certainly swayed my decision to get it now. But, I decided to wait and thinking it over carefully.

I went home, surfed the net for pictures, looked around for people who might be giving away Golden pups, sounded out my parents about the idea of getting a dog though they didn't want one.

Then 3 days later, I happened to have lunch with Xinyi in Pasir Ris, and I suddenly thought about going back to the pet farm to check out the puppies again. This time, I felt even more certain I wanted a dog with the 2nd look at the pups. After going around the Pasir Ris Farmway 2 area and checking out the farms there, I still decided to go home and think about it. But, as we left, I suddenly thought about just getting it then since I was already there. Somehow, I convinced myself that now was the best time to get a pup since I still have abt 1 1/2 weeks before I work, so I have time to help it adapt to its new home.

So, I went back to the shop, the guy took the pups out for me to choose, it was so cute, I got it.

Cost me a bomb.

But I was very pleased with my acquisition.

I knew my parents would flip when they saw it. Indeed they did. Didn't really take to the dog.

Then came the cleaning up. Never expected that taking care of a puppy is so tedious. Wakes me up at night when it pees/shits cos I am a light sleeper. After meals, it has a peeing spree. It can pee up to 8-10 times in 2 hours. I can just clean up one spot, then I find it peeing again.

The only time I am free is when it sleeps.

Yes, it is super cute, but its also capable of driving me up the wall sometimes.

Another funny thing abt Tiny is that I got him on Friday. I didn't realise the significance of that day until I was told Friday was the first day of the 7th month. Ha. Fancy buying a dog on such a day. You know how people say that dogs can see things. Maybe I should have called him The Eye or something. Or Sixth Sense. Or Zhong Kui. Ha.

Anyway, on a lighter note, this is quite amusing...

http://search.yahoo.com/search?p=singapore%20girl%20photo%20bikini%20ntu%20nus%20jc&ei=UTF-8&amp;fr=FP-tab-web-t&fl=0&x=wrt

Some TK was looking for "Singapore girl photo bikini ntu nus jc". Nothing too amusing anymore now that I constantly see such searches on my statcounter. But then, I noticed something familiar on this search. I saw the phrase "My paper heart". I thought it sounded really familiar. Then I looked at the URL, and OMG! Its Pingpong's blog! hahahahaha. Pingpong, I guess you're also listed as a porn site by yahoo. Ha.

Tiny is sick with diarrhoea. Jialat. Been cleaning tons of shit for the past 2 days. Gonna bring it to the vet later. I think this is karma. I made fun of shit last week, this week I am actually coming up close and personal with shit itself. And now with Tiny's dirrhoea, I see it, smell it, feel it countless times a day. Fortunately, I don't taste it.

I was cleaning up after Tiny a couple of days ago after it had its dinner. I still hadn't had mine. So I walked past the dining table where my parents and bro were eating happily, while I was sweaty and dirty. So when I walked by, I saw what they were eating.....

Great. Beef stew. My mom has been in the mood for beef stew the past few weeks. So there I was cleaning up Tiny's stew, then later I had to eat my beef stew.

So I saw them eating heartily as I walked by to the back to throw Tiny's shit away. I looked at the food and said, "Hmmm, that looks like what I have in the newspaper."

Muahahaha.

Of course I still ate it later on.

Yesterday, my mom said she will stop cooking beef stew for cos she doesn't think I will be that interested in having it for now. I think she is right.

Now I know why people think shit is gross. Looking at your own shit is ok. But looking, smelling, picking up someone else's shit is just gross. Esp, if its in semi-solid/liquid form.

Oh yes, a new description for the semi-solid/liquid form is "Pudding". So when you see chocolate pudding...you will remember this very entry. Ha.

Ok, off to the vet. Just hope he doesn't do it in the car. Sian.

Shotgun has changed my life

2005-08-08T18:47:00.000+08:00

Dear friends, I urge you to always think with your head before you act. People seldom heed this warning until its too late. One moment they are free to enjoy themselves, the next moment, you're holding a baby in your arms. Having a baby is no joke. It requires you to spend most of your time with it, watching over it, cleaning its pee/shit, waking up in the middle of the night when it wakes up, feed it at fixed timings, bathe it...etc. Basically, it changes your life and your life will practically revolve around it.

Often, visual pleasure causes us to do things at a moment when our senses are highly charged. I call this fatal attraction. Because of temptation that attraction brings you, you will indulge in that which people say is what Man sometimes love the most. I would say it is even Man's best friend. ;) However, you will realise that you have paid a heavy price and maybe you should have stopped for a while before you plunged into that act. But then again, I now understand how hard it feels to abstain and pull yourself away once you've entered a place, which just numbs your mind and lets your senses lead the way, to an unexpected, long term commitment with a baby.

I am now speaking from experience. I regret to say that I might not be able to blog as often as before. Initially, I thought that starting work would be a life changing moment. But now, 1 week before I start work, my life has changed beyond my wildest expectations.

On Friday, I became a father of a baby boy.

This is why I am writing this to warn everyone. Think, before you do something that you might live to regret. Think, before you enter a place you know will just make you go weak in the knees. And even if you are intending to have a baby, think, and research, so that you know what it takes to be a parent of a child.

I always pictured myself having 3 kids. I never imagined having a baby could be this difficult. I think I just didn't realise how much commitment, patience and effort it takes to raise a child and provide it with all that it needs. Now I know.

Now, I spend most of my waking hours cleaning my baby. Each time it pees/shits, I have to clean up the mess. I think I have done more cleaning in the past few days than I had all my life. I have to wake up early every morning to feed it, when I used wake up anytime I want. I cannot sleep late anymore because I am so tired after looking after my baby that I need to sleep once it goes to sleep. Also, because if I don't sleep, I won't get enough sleep as it wakes me up in the middle of the night too. I cannot go out because I cannot leave him alone at home. I can't pass on the burden to my family because I am responsible for it after all. But even when I did go out for a while, my mind was on him all the time, worrying if he is alright, worrying about everything, such that I will be so bothered by it, I will just go home as fast as I can. I have rejected pple asking me out since then because I prefer to be at home with my baby.

In contrast, although I love my baby, and it is irresistably cute, he does get on my nerves sometimes. All that cleaning, when I am tired, hot, sweaty, sleepy...etc, makes me irritable. I initially thought of putting him up for adoption, because i didn't know what to do with it. I was going to work in a week, I wouldn't be home to take care of it, my parents work too, my sis and brother have school, there would be no one to take care of him. And when I was tired and cleaning up so much, I just wanted to give up.

But then, it is my baby, how can I give it away just like that. But then, what if I don't give it enough care and it suffers in my hands? I am really between the devil and the deep blue sea.

Even now, I am typing this with the little time I have while it is asleep, the only free time I have now. I didn't even have time to turn on my computer the whole of yesterday. Thus, I guess I wouldn't be blogging much anymore in future, unless I am lucky to have time, in addition to my work.

Therefore, I once again urge all of you, to think properly before you act. You might not be ready to be in my shoes. Especially if you are young. Neither might your parents be that supportive of your baby.

Yes, you may be tempted when you see/hear friends doing it, but that doesn't mean you must do it. Wait. Till you are mentally, financially, emotionally ready, to commit to a living being.

Remember, it is a life we are talking about.

And it changes the way you live. Trust me on that.

Paint

2005-08-04T13:42:00.000+08:00

Anyway, I just realised I could draw my own pictures for my MSN pics using Paint.

The MSN pic I drew for myself was...

Then I decided to do what I'm best at...

This is my specialty drawing, ever since secondary school...

My cow.

Notice that the cow is shitting.

No, I am not obsessed with shit.

I call this painting "The Cow". I imagine this to be a famous painting in 100 years, where it will be hung in the Lourve and it will have a small passage explaining my painting to the public...

"This is one of Mingmong's most famous paintings. His trademark cow appears in this idyllic setting of nature where the cow seems to be enjoying the marvels of its lush habitat. A pink flower lies to the left of the cow, symbolising the goodness and beauty of Mother nature. However, a pile of shit lies to the right of the cow in a bed of mud, a blotch in this otherwise perfect scene, symbolising that the imperfections in this world. A butterfly flies around the flower, while flies can be seen around the shit. This signifies that in this world of good and evil, there are always those who are attracted to the good and those who thrive on evil. Also evident in his painting, Mingmong tells us that there is more good in this world than evil as shown by the proportion of the painting that the shit occupies.

However, neo-mingmongian aficionados have a different perspective of this painting. They feel that this painting signifies that evil will exist in this world despite the majority of it being good. That evil exists as a balance to the otherwise perfect world. Also, they feel that flies were chosen because they thrive on the shit and they spread the bacteria to people when they land on their food, signifying that the evil ones will always try to spread their evil and the ease with which people are led astray. In contrast, the butterfly does not spread the goodness of the flower to people, signifying how it is more difficult for goodness to be passed on to one another.

In stark contrast to the above mentioned interpretations of Mingmong's famous painting, extreme perspectives have also been offered. For example, Scatologist say that Mingmong's painting depicts the fundamentals of Scatology: You shit what you eat. The cow eats the grass, and it shits it out. Also, it relates the interesting cyclical relationship of shit and food. The cow eats the grass and shits it out. The shit fertilises the ground and grass will grow. The cow then eats the grass and the vicious cycle continues. Simply put, you eat shit and you shit what you eat.

Another extreme viewpoint was offered by the International Cooking Council. They felt that Mingmong painted the cow as his trademark because he loved eating beef stew.

Finally, the most absurd interpretation ever heard was by the Mingmong Fan Club, founded in 2005. They claim that when Mingmong first put his famous painting up for public viewing, he had told them on his personal webspace, the Mingmongster, that this painting is was painted because he wanted to help his Shitology students remember his theories of making shit better. The message of this painting to his students was simple...

When you think of shit, think beef stew.

Thus the shit and the cow together in the picture.

The musuem strongly denounces such an absurd interpretation and firmly believes in the first interpretation."

I wonder, do those arty people actually know what they are talking about when they try and interpret art? The Mona Lisa could just be a courtesy campaign painting that Leonardo drew in the past, to remind people to "SMILE more".

Cow.

Kaoz.

Psycho Attack!!!

2005-08-04T11:14:00.000+08:00

I had a really funny adventure yesterday!! Here's what happened...

I was in Orchard yesterday walking around to kill some time before I went home. Its one of those times where you come out early in the day for a while then feel sian to go home cos its so early, so must walk walk a bit jus for the sake of it. So I had some lunch and I decided to go to the Wisma basement toilet to wash my mouth, cos when you have braces on, eating is just such a chore with the food getting stuck in your teeth. This was when my day became so much more fun than I expected it to be...

I went into the toilet and was trying to get this small bit of lunch out from between my teeth. There was this guy beside me who was washing his hands. He was middle-aged, chubby, and Chinaman looking. Then as I was looking into the mirror at my teeth, I saw him giving me a weird look. But I thought he was wondering what I was doing with my teeth, so I thought nothing about it. Then he went into one of the cubicles. Sounded like he was taking some toilet paper or smtg. Oh there were other people in the toilet as well. Then he came back to the sink area and washed his hands again, and again giving me a look. Then, he went to the urinals behind. I was thinking to myself, "why the hell does anyone wash his hands twice before he pees?!". I mean, wash once, ok la, maybe he just ate so his hands dirty then din wanna dirty his ****, but then, wash twice!? Ok maybe his hands were REALLY dirty.

So I was still trying to get this stubborn piece of bread out from between my teeth. Then he emerged from the urinal area and came and wash his hands again. I was expecting him to go off after that, but...he didn't! Instead, he went back to one of the cubicles again. At the same time, I was done with me teeth, so I walked over to the cubicles to pee, then as I approached an empty one, the dude saw me and he went back into the cubicle. So as I peed, I decided that he was one of the tee ko uncles who stick around the guys toilets to check out the guys. Yes, there are such perverts in the guys' toilets. Seen many before. How do I know? Well, if an uncle stands at the urinal for damn long and when you go beside him, he doesn't follow the urinal rule of "look straight ahead only" and he looks in your direction and down. Then, sometimes, you might notice some excessive movement.

Ok, so I come out of the cubicle, wash my hands and didn't bother about the tee ko Chinaman since I was going to go. So I left. As I walked past the Wisma Giordano, I happened to turn around to look behind, then I saw the Tee Ko Chinaman (from now on shall be just called TKC) coming out from the toilet. So, I just continued walking on and decided to head upstairs to maybe check out Topshop. So when I went up one level, walked by the Sistic counter, and began up the next escalator, I saw TKC again. I just thought, "typical Chinaman face". Then I continued up the escalator and turned right towards Topshop. (ok, i am gonna be really detailed in my walking path, and I am expecting everyone to be familiar with town that you can picture what I'm talking about.)

Then I just walked slowly, somehow, half expecting to see the TKC behind me. As I approached the bend at the entrance of Topshop, I stole a glance to the rear. I saw TKC! He stopped and seemed to pretend to be looking at the shop just after the escalator. Then I thought to myself, "SHIT, he's following me! Cos he definitely looked like he saw me turn to look and he stopped in his tracks and pretended to be looking at stuff at the shop in front of him. But, if you know Wisma well enough, what do you see when you walk from the escalator to Topshop? On the right, its a woman's boutique, and the leftside in front of you, its the new lingerie shop. So why the hell was he stopping to look into a shop that's not for guys!?

So I contemplated going into Topshop to see if he followed me in, but I decided to give it a miss and walk on and make a "U-turn" back to the escalator. Then as I reached the escalator, TKC wasn't there anymore. Then I looked behind me, I saw TKC walking past Topshop and coming in my direction! Ha. Seems like I outsmarted him. So obviously he was following me. Why would anyone walk one big round for nothing. He definitely didn't look like someone who would shop in Topshop (he wore white polo tee and jeans, tucked in). So I went up the escalator. As I reached the top, I turned right at the Nike shop and looked down the escalator. TKC was coming up too! So I decided to go into Flash and Splash. I went in, went to the sandals section where there the glass panels were not obstructed, and waited. TKC walked by. He seemed to notice me inside. He carried on walking.

So I spent a few minutes inside, just "browsing" around. Then I made my exit, looked around, TKC was not in sight. So I thought maybe he gave up cos he might have realised that I knew he was following me. TKC seemed experienced in tailing people. He kept a very good distance from his target. So I thought, ok that's the end. I walked towards Isetan, then I saw the toilet and decided to go give my mouth another rinse. So I rinsed my mouth, took about 3 minutes or so. Then as I was about to walk out, TKC WALKED IN!!!!!!!

From then on, it was 100% obvious he was following me. Who the hell goes to the toilet 2 times in 5 minutes (besides me of course, but I was rinsing my mouth). As he walked past me, he gave me a look again. And the thing is, the kinda look he gives is not the tee-ko look, or psychotic look, or perverted look. Its just a look. Dunno how to describe it.

So I walked out of the toilet, walked past coffee club express, past tannlines, past the lift, then I turned back and I saw TKC. Obviously he didn't go to the toilet to pee cos he was out so fast. Then I went down the escalator. As I went down, I looked from the corner of my eye, and I saw him standing at the lift, pretending to wait for the lift, but he was looking in my direction. Smart guy I must say. Totally like a pro stalker. But, I was smarter. Ha.

So I got down to level 1 from level 3. I got off the escalator turned to the Sistic counter and I saw the lift coming down. As you know, Wisma has glass lifts. So I looked and I didn't see TKC. SO I knew he was definitely gonna come down by the escalators, since he was following me. Then suddenly, I had a thought, why not I take a photo of him?! And the best time would be to catch him on the escalator as he was coming down! So I whipped out my handphone, waited a few seconds, then I went back up the escalator. Just nice, TKC was coming down. I held my handphone up, trying hard to pretend I was smsing. But, TKC seemed to know what I was thinking. He then turned and face the other direction! Meaning, he was going down, I was going up, he turned such that his back faced me and he was kinda like shielding his face from me. I was like "SHIT!" then as I went by him, I tried to take his face, but he turned as he went by me and faced the front! DAMMIT!

So this is all I got of him!

Highly irritated that I couldn't get a good shot, I was determined to get another! Haha. So I hurried back down the escalator. I saw TKC taking a few looks to his rear, obviously trying to see where I was, and he looked worried. And he walked briskly in the direction of Isetan, past G2000. So I saw him, and now it was time for me to turn the tables and give him his own medicine. Now I was the PREDATOR, and TKC was the prey. Muahahahaha.

So I hurried along, following him at a distance. TKC was smart too. Once he reached Isetan he continued on and didn't go in, making that "U-turn" like I did at Topshop. Then as I came out from the bend, he saw me and he walked on. Great, now he knew I was following him. Haha. But who cares! So I followed. He went down to the basement and walked towards Taka. I followed, and I could see him easily from a distance. He was relatively tall, and so happened, it wasn't a white day for people. In the crowd, his white polo tee stands out. Also, I am tall. Hahaha.

So walked quickly along the Wisma underpass to Taka, trying not to lose sight of him (he was surprisingly cool, didn't run, just walked briskly). Then, I was stopped in my tracks! I met Gerald, AC friend and we talked for a minute. Then when we said our byes, I looked ahead and he was gone! I ran forward and decided to try the route up to Levis instead of down to Mos Burger area. Heng ah! I saw the white polo tee again. This time he was in front of British India. Looked like he was half checking to see where I was, and deciding which way to go. Not sure if he knows his way around Taka, seemed like he didn't. Ha. So he decided to go up another level. He went to the escalators at Guess. The way up was from Zara, so as he made his way to the far side at Zara, I waited at the near side along the railings. Stood at the corner and waited, handphone in hand. Then he went up the escalator, looking around. Think he didn't see me. So I got this shot, though not close up again.

Seemed like he was looking to see if I followed behind him. I took this picture, and ran to the escalator to follow him up. When I got up to the escalator landing, I looked around, and saw him walking towards the Taka departmental store/Hugo boss area. So I followed. Then he turned left suddenly and exited the building! I looked through the glass door and saw him walking along the outside of the building. So another thought came to my mind. I ran forward on the inside of the building to the next entrance. All Taka entrances are glass doors as you all know. So I got my phone ready as I ran to the next entrance, wanting to picture him as he walked past the door. But as I reached the door, he too, turned to walk back in. I got a shock when I turned and saw him then I couldn't pull off a shot. SHIT.

He saw me, and gave me a worried look, then he hurried to the central escalators at Hugo Boss and went up. I followed. I wanted his mug shot bad.

Again, as I was going up the escalator, I saw an NTU friend going down the otherside and I said my hellos and all. Then when I turned back, I couldn't find TKC. Didn't know if he went into Takashimaya or he turned the other direction. I decided that unless he ran, I would be able to see him if he went into Takashimaya. So I turned the otherway and didn't see him around Tiffany's either. So I looked outside at the taxi stand place. I saw him walking away. Fast! And he was checking his back frantically.

So I went out, took my phone and took a picture. Too far!

So I zoomed, but, too blur!!! So I deleted the picture and tried again.

But then this time, he crossed the road...

then I thought to myself, "aiya, no air-con, so hot. don't want to chase already la."

So I didn't go after him.

That's the end of my little adventure. And this is for real! I didn't just randomly take a few photos of this guy to cook up a story. Though the pictures look like it. Ha. Hope I see him again. This time, I won't let him off so easily. Hehe.

Minggy Monka and his Chocolate Cake Factory

2005-08-02T17:44:00.000+08:00

Warning: Do not proceed further if you have coprophobia/fecophobia!

I was just chatting on MSN just now and I needed to pang sai. So I had to tell my friends to wait. However, they didn't seem to appreciate that much detail. For example...

Mingmong: Eh, I need to go and pang sai.
Friend: You can just tell me to wait.
Mingmong: Orh. Ok. Wait...I need to go pang sai
Friend: Why you and XXX the same! Must tell me when you go pang sai! I don't need to know!
Mingmong: Orh...Sorry. Next time I won't tell you if I need to pang sai.
Mingmong: But now I really need to go and pang sai!
Friend: Just go!!!

After I came back from down-loading, I started telling another friend about my Shitology theories. Similarly, she too was grossed out.

Another friend (girl) also gets really irked whenever I mention shit in our conversation. It seems as though something that comes out of you everyday (almost) is a taboo. However, it seems that only girls are disgusted by it. If I were to tell my guy friends that I need to pang sai, they will just take it as it is. In fact, my guy friends love to go shit together even. Like when a girl wants to go to the toilet, she'll ask her galfrens, "anyone wants to go to the ladies?". Guys don't bother asking when they need to pee, but if its the big one, then they'll go, "eh, anyone want to shit?".

Therefore, I think there is a area where further research can be done in Scatology, on explaining the abhorrence girls have towards scat. But for now, let Professor Minggy Mongka, doctorate in Shitology (more commonly known as Scatology), and owner of his own chocolate cake factory, teach you the basics you will need to pass have a minor in Shitology.

To be able to pass Shitology 101, you will need to answer these simple questions...

1) How is shit made?
2) Why is shit brown?
3) Why does shit smell?
4) What are the 3 states of matter that shit exists in?

To make all these facts easy to remember, we must first imagine the process of cooking beef stew.

First, we need to chop up the ingredients which is beef, carrots, celery, onions, etc. Similarly, to make shit, we also need ingredients. For shit, we are not so fussy about the ingredients. Anything goes! Which is why it is so simple to make! So we chop up the ingredients by putting it in our mouths and chewing. Then, we marinate the ingredients with a special sauce, saliva.

Then, if you want soft and tender beef in your stew, you will need to massage the meat first! Similarly, we definitely want soft and tender shit coming out of our ass, so we leave the massaging to our oesophagus through the process of peristalsis, where our ingredients are slowly massaged through muscular contractions and further marinated with mucus.

Then, once you are done preparing the ingredients for your beef stew, you dump them all into the crockpot where you mix the ingredients and add water, salt, pepper, thyme, garlic, onions, etc and whatever spices needed. Then leave it to cook for a few hours. Similarly, the ingredients will go into your human crockpot, which is your stomach. There it is mixed and churned together and it is left to cook in there for some time.

Then, sometimes for certain recipes, you can choose to add in some lemon juice and parsley after a while to add a more tangy taste to the stew. Similarly, your stomach automatically throws in something similar to lemon juice too! Just that its a little more acidic, in the form of hydrocholoric acid, and instead of parsley, enzymes are dumped into the stew.

Next, although you just leave the stew in the crockpot to cook for 8-9 hours, making shit is similar, just that you have to imagine the intestines as part of the crockpot too, just a very long crockpot. So after the stomach, the stew slowly passes through the intestines where it continues to cook. The great thing about our special crockpot is that it automatically adds spices/herbs to the stew throughout the cooking process, unlike cooking beef stew where you just dump it all into the crockpot overnight and serve the next day. So, through the intestines, your pancreas, gall bladder, liver etc, all add some salt (bile salts) or other spices like enzymes into the stew.

After cooking for about 6-8 hours, it is finally ready. If you are not ready to eat your beef stew yet, you can leave it in the crockpot to simmer until its time for you meal. Similarly, when you are not ready to shit, it will all go to your rectum where it will be stored temporarily and simmered as well since its inside your body.

When you're hungry and ready to have some stew, just open the crockpot and serve. Similarly, when you're ready to down-load, just open those anal doors and serve.

This is how shit is made! Easy isn't it?

Now, why is it brown and why does it smell? This is simple. Why is your beef stew brown and why does it smell so great? Well, the stew is brown because of the spices or sauces you used, maybe Worschershire sauce? Similarly, shit is brown because of the sauce you used, which is bile, and also the bile salts.

And why does the beef stew smell so good? Common sense tells you that its also because of the herbs/spices you used! But you are forgetting something. It is also because it was cooking in the crock pot for over 8 hours and the smell was just trapped within the crockpot, fermenting the stew with a concentrated and overwhelming fragrance. So once you open the crockpot, the smell will just hit you like how the carbon dioxide rushes out of your coke bottle when you first open it. Similarly, shit has such an overwhelming smell because it has been stored for as long as you refuse to shit. The longer you store, the more fragrant it gets! But of course, the main cause of the smell is the bacteria that's in it.

For the final question, what are the 3 states of matter that shit exists in? Just think of beef stew again. In beef stew, you have the solids (beef), you have the liquid (gravy), and you have the gas (the wonderful fragrance!). Similarly, shit exists in the same way. You have solid shit which is your normal scat if you eat properly, your liquid shit if you eat crap, and your gas shit which is just fart.

However, unlike water, shit can exist in different states together at the same temperature. For example, you can fart (gas) before just before you shit, and then you shit (liquid or solid). You could shit both solid and liquid together. And sometimes, you can even have all 3 at one down-load.

There...isn't Shitology 101 simple? Nothing too taboo or disgusting about it if you can just think of it as beef stew. I hope you've all enjoyed today's lesson!

I know after this lesson, some of you might be more interested in this field of study. However, I would recommend not venturing into the area of Coprophilia/Fecophilia. That is one phenomena which I myself cannot fathom.

Also, although I've heard that the Japanese actually practice Coprophagia, I still prefer to stick to the mainstream Japanese food. It might sound hard to believe, but its true. Alex (who majors in cooking) watched a documentary which featured a restaurant in Japan that actually serves shit. And apparently, it is a delicacy! They have different flavours even! How it works is that you have to pre-order the shit you want to eat, say carrot shit, maybe 1 week in advance. Then they will get their "Chef" to go on a carrot only diet for the rest of the week. And just before you come in, the Chef will prepare his carrot shit just for you. Weird? Its bizarre I say!

Finally, just for those who are interested in Shitology, a more challenging question, or food for thought...

Q: If making shit is akin to making beef stew, what happens if you use beef stew as your ingredient for cooking shit?

Maybe you can think about it over dinner or something...

Shiat...I really attracted more people here...

2005-08-01T15:03:00.000+08:00

Jialat. I think because of the previous post, more guys in search for porn have landed here.

Just check this out...

http://sg.search.yahoo.com/search?p=singapore%20sexy%20babe&toggle=1&ei=UTF-8&fr=FP-tab-web-t&b=101

And also...yesterday there was someone searching for "Asian Babe" too.

Anyway...Here's a HI! *Waves* to all porno seekers!!! =)

Unexpected visitors

2005-07-28T21:15:00.000+08:00

I've been rather baffled by the people who end up at my blog after searching for something on Google. In the past, I've never really noticed people coming here through a search engine, but in just this 2 weeks alone, its been quite frequent.

The funny thing is, some of the word searches that churned up my blog are just baffle me.

For example, about a week ago, there was someone who searched for something like "boxers down (dunno what) breast", can't really remember the whole phrase, but my blog came up in the searches! WTF! Then I realised, it was linked to one of my posts where there was the word breast. Kaoz. I suspect that person was actually looking for porn. Then when he clicked on my blog, he thought he might have found a great one, since I have a huge breasted KFH woman on the skin, but then he would soon realise that its just a lame ole blog.

Then there were other word searches like "NTU Hall 6" or "Daphne Teo", or "Shawn Yue", or for today, "Xunwen Oh blog", all showed up on google searches, linking them to a post where the word is found. Wah seh.

But, why no one search for my name leh!!!! heh. Only Mingmong was used.

Ok, I guess I have to do some thing to increase my readership. Ha.

For the porno kings...
BREASTS
BIG BREASTS
CHIO BU
SEXY GALS
PRETTY GALS
HOT GALS
CUTE GALS

For the girls...
EDISON CHEN
EDISON CHEN
EDISON CHEN
JAY CHOU
EDISON CHEN
TAKAESHI KANESHIRO
EDISON CHEN
BRAD PITT
HUNKS
CUTE GUYS
EDISON CHEN
MINGMONG!!!!!!!!! (HEHE)

For everyone else...
EVERY WORD IN THE WORLD!

ok..I am expecting my stat counter to jump to 6 digits by next week, and become the new blogging star of Singapore after Xiaxue....

Mingmong! aka Tu4 Xue3

Ok, I am just bored...

Agent Harry

2005-07-27T20:32:00.000+08:00

Insurance agents, the bane of the mingmongster. In recent weeks, I've had a couple of cold calls from these agents trying to sell me their stuff. Somehow, they seem to have a knack for calling at times when I most do not want them to. For example, I received a call while I was overseas, thus paying IDD, or calling me when I am sleeping which is definitely the WORST time to do so. And the problem with these guys is that they just do not know how to put down the phone. And the problem with me is that I am nice, so I try my best to get them to put down the phone without me directly asking them to get lost. The result is that nice people like me lose, and they talk longer and longer and longer. Therefore, I think I need to devise a way to get them off my back, at the shortest time possible, but at the same time, trying to be tactful.

Somehow, I suspect that all new insurance agent wannabies are put through a boot camp, where they are taught how to talk non-stop, undergo a skin graft (to make their skin as thick as possible), and learn the art of stalking (aka pestering/harrying). So these new Agent Harrys (as I call them for their unrelenting harrying methods), fresh from boot camp, eager to become Prince Harry or even the King of all the Harrys, are the most petrifying of its kind. Their favourite hunting grounds are the MRT stations. They camp outside the entrances, eyeing the crowd for potential victims who would willingly put their pen to paper and sign their moolah away.

In a recent article I read, Agent Harry, along with the property agents or car salesmen, rank among the most disliked professionals among people. I suppose Agent Harry knew that they aren't very well liked in society, and that means less people want to become Agent Harry, so they decided its time to give themselves a better name. They gave themselves a new moniker, Financial Planners. So when they introduce themselves to people, they might go "wooooo" or "ahhhh". But of course, once you know that they are actually Agent Harry under a guise, we stay clear of them anyway.

Agent Harry has the same tactics all the time, which is why I suspect they all undergo a centralised training. Agent Harry says the same things all the time, no matter what company they come from.

There was this Agent Harry who called me up in Europe, and I told him I am overseas, so I couldn't talk. He asked when I would be back. I told him. He said he'll call me back again. When I came back on Thursday night, he called me the following Monday morning, when I was asleep. Nevertheless, I still tried to be nice. And these are some of the things you should never say to Agent Harry, because they are prepared to counter it...

Mingmong: I'm sorry, but I'm not really interested in insurance at the moment. I don't really want to think about it at this time.

Agent Harry: Oh, that's the problem I think most people have. They don't really have an interest about insurance, and they don't think about it until they need it. I have a client who didn't buy insurance, but then he suddenly got ill and found that he needed insurance coverage, but by then it was too late.

Mingmong: (nabey, you cursing me so early in the morning ah) Errr, ya but then I have a policy that my Dad took out for me already.

Agent Harry: Oh, what type of policy is that may I know?

Mingmong: Life. I think.

Agent Harry: Oh, a life policy only covers a loss of life or disability...(blah blah blah). There are many other policies available especially for someone of your age.

Mingmong: (Still trying to get him to give up) Err...ok but I am have not started earning yet, so I think I want to wait till I earn a proper income first, before I get my own policies.

Agent Harry: Oh, I see. When do you start work?

Mingmong: August

Agent Harry: Oh, in that case, why not we meet up and allow me to share with you more about insurance first? No obligations at all. I just need 30 minutes of your time.

Mingmong: (irritated) Sorry, but I am not interested in knowing about insurance since I am not thinking of getting any at the moment, maybe next time.

Agent Harry: Ohh, I see. But I think that's the problem with most people. They are not really informed about what insurance is about...(blah blah blah). Would it be ok if you spare me just 30 minutes, we sit down for a drink and I just share with you. I just want to help you since you were recommended to me by you friend.

Mingmong: (makes mental note: tell all friends not to ever give my number to Agent Harry, otherwise they will use that against me) Nah, its ok. I don't really know when I will be free. I have a lot lined up over the next few days. Anyway, I also have friends who are in this line. I think I can approach them if I need anything.

Agent Harry: Oh, may I know what company your friends are from?

Mingmong: P*********

Agent Harry: Oh, but its ok, since your friend recommend you to me, I can help you as well.

Mingmong: (makes mental note: kill that friend) Ok, but I think I AM REALLY not interested at this point of time. Maybe later on when I am financially stable, and I find the need for it, then I will consider this (and I was thinking maybe 1 year later).

Agent Harry: Oh, ok. That would be fine. You start work in August am I right?

Mingmong: Yes.

Agent Harry: Ok, then is it ok if I call you at the end of August just to see how you are doing?

Mingmong: (Pengz! I give up!) Okok. Anything la.

Agent Harry: Ok thanks Eu Ming. I will sms you my mobile number, and this is my office number. If you have any queries regarding this, do feel free to call me anytime.

Mingmong: Ok. Bye.

That's just an excerpt of the main conversation. But it did go on for at least 20 minutes. Never has anyone asked me out for a "date" again immediately after I've just rejected them. I wonder if they are also this aggressive when it comes to chasing girls.

Just to prove my point that Agent Harry says the same things, uses the same tactics all the time, this is another conversation with Agent Harry. This time it is a girl, and I was awake, and more prepared. She said similar things to me, though they're from different companies. This time Agent Harry said she was in Wealth Management, another new "professionally" coined moniker that recently emerged. Same Agent Harry, just different product. This one's more investment based.

Mingmong: You're trying to sell me insurance right?

Agent Harry: Oh, no no. Its not the same. What we do in wealth management is to help people manage their money and offer them attractive returns as well.

Mingmong: Sorry but I am not working yet, so I have no funds to offer you.

Agent Harry: Oh, when do you start work?

Mingmong: Soon. In August.

Agent Harry: Oh, I see. But would you like to meet up for a coffee, and I can share with you more about what I do?

Mingmong: Erm, no thanks. I'm not really interested to know right now. No interest in this.

Agent Harry: Oh, but I think that's common among most people I meet. Which is why I want to help you, and share with you the potential benefits. Basically, we help manage the money people put with us...(blah blah blah).

Mingmong: Its ok, because I think I would like to manage my own savings.

Agent Harry: Oh, but we will definitely offer you a better return than the bank.

Mingmong: No, I meant I would rather invest my money myself in stocks etc.

Agent Harry: Oh, but we have specialists who can actually help you do a good job with that.

Mingmong: Ya I know, but I think I rather try it out myself and learn.

Agent Harry: Oh, but don't you think you might end up with DISASTROUS results?

Mingmong: (irritated) Well, I think that's a risk I have to take if I want to learn. And I think with my work, I will have the relevant experience to do it myself. (a bit exaggerating here)

Agent Harry: Oh, err, if you don't mind sir, what will you be working as?

Mingmong: (heheh...I think she's gonna be speechless) I'm gonna be a Trader. (I deliberately stopped short of saying oil)

Agent Harry: Oh. Err. Hmm...

Mingmong: (Muahaha!) Ya, so as I said, I think I can apply what I do at work to my own money, so even if you can help, I still want to do it myself.

Agent Harry: Oh, ok then. *pause* Err, is it ok then if I add you to my birthday calendar? I will send you a card or give you a call on your birthday or something.

Mingmong: (damn!) Alright. My birthday is XXXXXX.

So, typically, Agent Harry always wants to date you, Agent Harry loves to 'help' strangers as they claim, and the love to call you back again. Most importantly, they know how to talk. So, I have decided that I should be more prepared for the next cold call I'm gonna receive from Agent Harry, or maybe if he ambushes me outside the MRT station.

This is how I think I will reply their commonly used phrases, and hope they will give up...

If they try to date you...

Agent Harry: Can I meet up with you to share with you more about what I do? I just need 30 minutes of your time. No obligations at all, just need a little of your time over a drink.

Mingmong: Har...Where got 30 minutes? I need to bathe and change, already 30 minutes. Then I take bus and mrt down from my house to town another 1 hour. Then meet you 30 minutes. Then take mrt and bus home 1 hour again. Then give another 30 minutes miscellaneous admin like go toilet, altogether 4 hours leh. Too long la.

Agent Harry: (assuming he counters me) Oh, I can meet you closer to your house, then you don't have to travel so much.

Mingmong: Har....since you come closer to my house, then might as well come my house la.

Agent Harry: That's great, so I'll meet you at your house then?

Mingmong: No la...I say you come my house fetch me go out la. You say meet for drink, then you think you come my house I give you drink meh. Where got such thing? You ask me out for drink of course you buy me drink la!

Agent Harry: Oh, ok. I might not have a car available to fetch you.

Mingmong: You dunno how to take cab ah.

Agent Harry: (starting to think he damn lugi, but instructor say must persevere, tough customer also must lun4) Oh, ok. I'll come pick you tomorrow then and we'll go to Tampines Mall for a drink?

Mingmong: Eh dey, what Tampines Mall? I thought drink means drink alcohol? Go pub or what la. Say first, must open bottle one.

Agent Harry: (siao liao la! but bo pian, must lun!) Ok, tomorrow night we go Harry's ok? I can tell you more over drinks.

Mingmong: Steady la!

(at the pub...)

Mingmong: Eh, we must drink first then talk. You all always entertain clients, sure good drinker right? Come! I drink one you drink two. Bo tah bo lam pah.

Agent Harry: (lun. lun. lun.) Ok, cheers.

1 hour later, Agent Harry is drunk. Mingmong zhao go home and sleep.

If they try to "help" you...

Agent Harry: I want to help you. There are people who realise they are in need of money but have no insurance coverage. / I want to help you. You can put aside $50 with me each month instead of spending it without even knowing it. I am helping you to save for the future because I think people don't have a habit of saving...etc (and what ever help save the world shit...)

Mingmong: Wah, you practising for Mr/Miss Universe Q&A ah. You should say world peace la. You say so much, confuse the judges only. They like only 2 word answers then the let you win liao. Next time just say world peace!

Agent Harry: No no sir, I truly want to help you. I believe in my company's products and I feel its good for people. At least I share with you and inform you of how it can help you...(blah blah blah)

Mingmong: Wahhh...so noble ah. Ok la, since you just want to help people, means like volunteer worker la! Its hard to find people these days who are willing to help people and not reap any benefit. Ok la, I better not waste your time, I think more people need your help. I go find another guy to buy. You helping people not for the commission, so you better go talk to those who don't want to buy. I give someone else the commission to someone else la.

Agent Harry: Oh, no no sir, its ok, I can help you too. Don't need to look for someone else. Let me serve you.

Mingmong: Orh, ok la, since I'm talking to you already. But then now I got no time la, why not you type out everything you need to say then you send to me. When I free then I read la ok? Ok byebye.

And if they try to call you back...

Agent Harry: Can I call you back maybe at the end of August to see how you are?

Mingmong: Cannnnnnnn! Send me all your contact numbers ok! So I can call you if I need help also.

Agent Harry: Great!

Mingmong gets the numbers, save in his contact list. When the number calls, kup the phone.

Or...

Agent Harry: Can I add you to my birthday calandar and send you a card or give you a call on your birthday?

Mingmong: Cannnnn! But I don't want a call, nor a card, I want a present. I am currently in need of an iPod.

Agent Harry: Oh, err I'm sorry but its company policy not to send gifts to clients.

Mingmong: Liddat ah...ok lorrr. Too bad then.

Agent Harry: Ok so when is your birthday?

Mingmong: 29 Febuary 1981. Do send me all your contact numbers so I can contact you if I need help in future.

Agent Harry: Sure, thanks alot!

And as usual, save the numbers, kup the phone if they call.

Anyway, I have some friends who have decided to go into this industry (this is not a direct attack at you guys!), and I told them not to preach to me about their products, and that I will look for them when I want it. If anyone of you is in this line, don't look for me either. Since I have people I know doing this, what for give strangers the business right? So dear friends who sell insurance or do financial planning or whatever, so long as you're Agent Harry, don't be angry. This is just for fun la. I will still give you some biz.

Europe Roundup - Amsterdam

2005-07-24T16:46:00.000+08:00

To continue from the previous roundup, the next place we went was Amsterdam.

Amsterdam is a special place in this world where prostitution and drugs are commonplace, and very legal. I find it funny how the people and government of Amsterdam can actually accept and legalise prostitution and drugs to the extent that they actually seem quite proud it. Souvenirs commonly depict porn or grass, you have sex museums, cannabis museums, and whatever museums to do with sex and drugs.

I mean...even their national monument is a phallic-like obelisk.

And once we walked out of our hostel, abt 50 metres later, we found...

I deliberately resized the picture to smaller than usual, in case the under-aged readers are able to see the details in the background. Also, in case I am guilty of putting up pornography. Ha. And as you can tell, Gary really loves those stuff...

Well, we definitely did not do drugs, and we didn't even drink in Amsterdam. Its funny that we were in Amsterdam, where most people go to party, that we just didn't do what Amsterdam is all about. We did take a walk one night through the red-light district where all the "fish tanks" were. The area is actually quite organised and the girls seem to be segregated along different streets based on age, ethnicity, looks etc. For example, we would walk along one street where all the gals are fairly hot, then turn around the block and we're looking at older women. Or we check out the asian chicks and then suddenly the next street are the big gals. Best of all, you can bargain. Heh. Also, as I walked along the streets, some guy will come up to me and ask if I want cocaine. Naturally, I declined. But he was nice, he walked with me and talked a little, and he even knew how to speak some Mandarin (not just the standard "ni hao").

There wasn't much that we did in Amsterdam actually. On the day we arrived, we dumped our bags in the hostel and took the train out to the countryside. We went to this town called Zaandam, where we could find the windmills. There is also Keukenhof, which hosts the world's largest garden of flowers. Too bad we missed the flower season by a couple of weeks. The place only opens during the flower season between March and May. Nevertheless, Zaandam also has its charms. An old, quaint town with windmills by the river and farms. Definitely better than Amsterdam itself I feel.

So basically, this is what Zaandam is all about...

The windmills in the background...

Then we went to this small farmhouse that makes cheese...and I took the opportunity to take a photo with 2 Dutch milkmaids. Hot milkmaids.

And played with the farm animals...I tried feeding the ducks some of my milkshake...

Cute little duck seemed to love it...and wanted more..

But somehow, they seemed more interested in Huijing. The birds, the ducks, the whatever, all kept flocking to her. And Huijing was rather terrified of them, so she stayed on the bench...

Then, when the ducks were distracted, she would run across to the bench on the other side to take cover, but somehow, the ducks and birds just followed her there and stood below the bench, watching her, stalking her...

Soon, the ducks got a little more bold and tried flying close to her, possibly trying to kiss her...

That's when Huijing panicked...

She stood on the bench and refused to come down...

Gary and I decided we finally know why she always gets the animals during mahjong... because she has a natural ability to attact animals, alive ...or tiled.

After watching Huijing being chased by farm animals, we went by the river, lay down beside it, and slept. Shiok. Refreshing.

So anyway, that was it with the countryside, and it was back to the city. The next day, we set out to see the main touristy stuff in Amsterdam. First up, the sex museum. Its like a museum of porn, but in a rather academic kind of way. There are pictures depicting all kinds of human fantasies, and they try to explain what and why these "ideas"/"acts" come about. Then there's this section where they have a collection of porn photographs dating all the way back to the early 1900s or earlier I think. Like a history of porn. Kaoz. Then they're also those crappy stuff like sexual ornaments and stuff. I was quite surprised the girls didn't feel grossed out la. Cos some of the stuff really quite gross la. Like 47cm "Long Dong Silver" I mentioned before.

Just an example of the crap they had inside...

Long Dong Mong, at your service...

Then there was this special chair. When you sit on it, and lean back against the back rest, this thing under the chair starts poking ur ass area from beneath the seat cover. Then we decided to play a prank on the gals. We told Huijing to take a picture with us at the seat (which just looks like an ordinary seat in a resting area), then we made her sit on the "special" one while we sat beside her, then Gary and I put our arms around her back and pushed the back rest. Well what happened next was...

Huijing: "OH MY GOD!"

And she jumped out of the seat. Then she decided to have another go at it. (I wonder why). With her happy meal box in her hand. She looked kinda happy.

Next target was Jiawei. But she already suspected something was amiss so the mission failed. She tried figuring out what was wrong with the chair, looking up, down, left, right, above, under etc...so in the end we told her the secret. Then she decided to give it a go. And somehow, there was no "oh my god" unlike HJ, but she jus sat there thinking, and smiling, and she really did sit there for a while. Ha.

So anyway, that's that. Then, we went around Amsterdam on bicycles. Most of the pple there travel with their bikes. There are special lanes catered just for bikes. Well, HJ somehow always seems to be in the thick of the action. She's not really a good cyclist and somewhere along the way, she buanged, and broke her fall with her chin. Poor girl. Heh.

We went to the Heineken brewery. Walked through the place for a history of the beer and stuff. And also had the beer too, all included in the trip.

I think the nicest part of the whole Heineken Experience was the Heineken bar.

Nice decor with the lighting and the Heineken bottles behind the bar... I think its similar to the one that was in the advertisement.

Then, we also had a picnic lunch in the park, Vondelpark, biggest park in the city if I am not wrong. We kinda got accustomed to slacking around in parks and any patch of grass we see. Somehow, just didn't feel like walking and seeing and walking and seeing, prefering to take it slow.

This is just one of the many 5 main canals that runs across the city of Amsterdam...

This is the typical street around the area too...

So basically, that's it for me in Amsterdam. 2 days. Half of it spent in Zaandam, and the rest in the city just selectively browsing through the sights. Unless you're there for some hardcore stuff, I guess 2 days is sufficient.

And then we hopped on board a train to Berlin to meet Alex...

And on board the train we played Texas Hold'em! An American who stayed in our room taught us the game which is "really big in the US". And, I found that it is the only game I can actually win money from HJ. Ha.

Ok..that's all for now....

For those who believe in luck

2005-07-23T00:19:00.000+08:00

If you believe in luck and want one of those 4-leaf clover thinggies, my friends shop is at the Concourse along Beach Road. If its too inaccessible, you can visit the website at

www.julieroberts.com.sg

Here's some free advertising for you Josh. =)

P/S: My mahjong kakis will be turned away. There can only be one 4-leaf clover on the mahjong table. And it would be mine. Heh.

Redang

2005-07-22T23:04:00.000+08:00

Just got back from a dive trip to Redang last night. Redang is definitely a better place to dive than Tioman. The visibility was very good, at least 12-15 metres at times, and there are loads to see. I saw more stuff in a single dive than the 7 dives I had in Tioman. In the first dive alone, the moment I descended into the water, the dive master pointed out a black-tip shark to us.

The trip was fun apart from the diving. We talked crap, relaxed by the beach, played cards (and I realised that Hearts is actually a damn fun game), sang karoke (since its free) and slept (my favourite pasttime). The food was edible, but since its free, I shan't complain, and since there wasn't any other alternative source of food (unless I go fishing) I had no choice. We stayed at Redang Kalong Resort. Not too bad, but nothing compared to the reknown Laguna Resort where Xia Ri Mo Mo Cha was filmed. Huijing and gang arrived there 1 day after me, and I walked over to check it out. The beach was somehow nicer than the one outside my room, even though it was jus the beach next to ours. Pay more, get more I suppose.

The only downside of the trip was the bus ride up and down. 10 hours there, 12 hours back. The ride there was overnight, and I was expecting to sleep my way through it, only to find that it was impossible. The bus had the most screwed up suspension. Each time I find myself slipping into a slumber, I would be jolted out of my sleep by a bump, or I would just find myself airborne for half a second. The way back was just as bad, but I think I was too shacked out that I KO-ed the moment the bus moved off. Slept quite soundly despite being in oscillatory mode. Some kid in front of me puked halfway too. Sian 1/2. The funny thing is, both buses were different. Conclusion? Never take buses from Enjoy (the bus company). Enjoy? Enjoy what? Maybe they should rename their company, call themselves "Suffer", maybe.

Also, the sea got the better of me this time. We took a small little speed boat out to the dive sites and each time I got out of the water from the dive, climbed up the boat, my stomach would give way and I would feed the fishes. The waters were quite choppy and with the boat anchored, it would just sway side-to-side, and a small boat makes it worse.

Anyway, some pictures to show the beauties of the underwater world.

First of all... Me. Ha.

Alright, kidding. Here's Josh and I fooling around.

Upclose shot of a sea anemone

And the Nemos found in it. They're apparently very friendly...

A Moray Eel. It bites.

Met my childhood sweetheart, Ariel,

and her friend Sebastian too...

A huge school of fish (not decide whether they are fusiliers or snappers) which we swam beside. Found quite a few hundred of them hanging around the reef, so we swam behind/beside them, like herding sheep.

A huge turtle. Find them amazingly cute...despite their age.

See...so cute!

And many, many more...just don't want a picture overload cos I noticed my blog is becoming more like a picture book, especially with my heavy picture posts of Europe coming up.

Once again, whatever I typed disappeared because of a blackout in the house. I was just about to hit the publish button when the lights just went out. Sian half.

Off for a jog with my sis. Bet she's gonna whip my ass at it.

NKF - Mingmong version

2005-07-17T23:07:00.000+08:00

The story that has been the talk of the town for the past week has been the dispute between Singapore Por-c Hua (SPH) and the Never-ending Kitty of Funds (NKF).

The main characters of this National Kidney Fiasco are:

T.T. Dulan - Disgruntled by people snooping around his private toilet, he decides to take them to court. Also an afficionado of toilet fittings and gold. Famously known as "the man who never flies first class".

Darth Vinder Singh - The powerful "dark" lord who has sentenced one too many high profile characters to their downfall. A cunning linguist, he withers his victims down slowly till they yield to him.

Prior to the hearing, reporter of the Mingmongster, Ming monster, had an interview with our protagonists...

Ming monster: Hi Mr T.T. Dulan, would you mind if I ask you a few questions?

T.T. Dulan: Sure!

Ming monster: Ok. Firstly, what...

T.T. Dulan: First? No I don't fly first class.

Ming monster: ?!?! Err...ok...what do you think of your chances in winning this case?

T.T. Dulan: I am very confident of winning. I have a first class lawyer to help me with this. Opps. Wait. I didn't say first class did I? I never fly first class.

Ming monster: What about the gold plated tap? What do you have to say about that?

T.T. Dulan: Firstly, it was within the guidelines set by the Board. Secondly...wait. I didn't say first did I? I never fly first class.

Ming monster: Err...okayy. I guess we should stop here. Thank you very much Mr Dulan.

T.T. Dulan: Not a problem. If you need me, just call me at 1900-112-6868. Anytime. If you hear an operator, it means I'm not in, but just keep calling till I pick up the phone. *wink*

Ming monster: Ok. Thanks. Oh, by the way, too bad you don't fly first class. The service is really good and the flight attendents, whoa, they're usually the young and hot ones!

T.T. Dulan: Oh yes yes! I totally agree! The service is simply impeccable. And, I usually drink wine like nobody's business. But one thing I feel airlines should improve in the first class area is their toilets. I mean, we deserve better toilets. Maybe a gold plated sink or something.

Ming monster: Oh...but I thought you never fly first class?

T.T. Dulan: (turns to his lawyer) He knows too much. I want him in c0urt too.

*

Ming monster: Mr Singh, would you spare me a few moments of your time?

Darth Vinder: Sure!

Ming monster: What do you think of your chances against Mr T.T. Dulan?

Darth Vinder: T.T.? No, sorry I don't drive the Audi TT.

Ming monster: No, I said what do you think of your chances against Mr Dulan?

Darth Vinder: *adjusts his helmet* Oh, I'm sorry. Sometimes I tie my helmet too low that it covers my ears. Yes, about the case, I have confidence in breaking Mr Dulan just like I have with all my other victims, such as Mr Cheep Soon Kuay.

Ming monster: Do you have a different approach to this case?

Darth Vinder: Nope. Same as always, I will use my famous TTTTTT tactic.

Ming monster: TTTTTT?

Darth Vinder: Haven't you watch Toyko Raiders before? They introduced a drug called TTTTT: Till They Tell The Truth. But I went one T further. I don't use drugs (otherwise I will get hanged), I just Talk Till They Tell The Truth.

Ming monster: Wasn't that a chinese/cantonese movie?

Darth Vinder: Eh why? Singh cannot understand chinese isit? Even Gurmit Singh can speak chinese. *Makes heavy breathing noise*

Ming monster: Oh no no, I didn't mean that. Well, all the best to you Mr Singh.

Darth Vinder: Thank you.

*

The trial was a heated affair. Both Dulan and Darth Vinder engaging each other with their oral skills. Darth Vinder was in the driver's seat, taking the more active role, trying to penetrate Dulan's defences. Dulan tried to respond to each and every move Darth Vinder had but Darth Vinder was always on top of him, lapping up everything that came out of Dulan's mouth and shooting more attacks back at him. Darth Vinder got more aggressive and thrusted more at Dulan. The trial reached a climax when Dulan finally came...to his senses and slumped back into his chair, spent. Dulan was visibly worn out by the oral prowess of Darth Vinder. He then decided he could not meet Darth Vinder's request for more...answers, and so he relented and decided to come clean.

*

Revelations of Dulan's remuneration package shocked the people. Let's examine the public sentiment with regards to this earth-moving piece of news...

Ming monster: *walks over to the nearby kopitiam* Err...Uncle ah, can I ask you a question regarding the NKF issue?

Uncle: *puts down his mug of beer* Cannnn...no problem. *hic*

Ming monster: What do you think about the salary the Mr Dulan is receiving?

Uncle: *takes another sip of his beer, looking dissatisfied* Umm... Peanuts.

Ming monster: !?!? Peanuts?

Uncle: Ya, I need more peanuts to eat, can help me take?

Ming monster: *deadpans*

*

The trial has since ended with Darth Vinder victorious once again and the NKF waving the white flag and retreating. But questions still remain in the minds of the people, many of whom feel cheated and misled into donating to a worthy cause.

The NKF, does it really Need King-like Facilities in its toilets? Was our sympathy and empathy for the needy a fallacy that caused us to Naively Keep Funding the NKF's call for donations? Or was it those National Kindness Facades that they show on television that cajole us to pick up the phones to dial that all too familiar number (which even a person who never donated (eg. me) would know that number by heart)? Among those who railed against the "Non-profit-making Kidney Foundation, it would probably be the poor who feel the most injustice. A man who earned $1000 a month could have donated $50 to the Never-ending Kitty of Funds, only to find that the good people over there have Nipped Kidney Funds for their personal benefit. As a result, the donations from the public will fall and penalise the kidney patients. These patients now need a new NKF, they Need Kind Forbearance from the public to continue donating to their cause. However, with no more trust in the organisation, not all donors would be able to bear such cognitive dissonance. Fortunately, the Never-ending Kitty of Funds seems to be enough for more than a decade as revealed, and it is unlikely that the fall in donations will be a short-term problem.

Personally, I still prefer to see who my money goes to. I say, why not help the needy who do not have the fortune of having media publicity to help garner donations. For example, that blind man selling tissue in hawker centres or that old lady collecting cans from rubbish bins. In contrast, the blind man singing in the Orchard underpass is probably getting enough money from passerbys over the years. The old man selling towels in Chinatown with 2 retarded kids also had some media coverage to improve his income. Thus, I prefer to divert my donations to those who get less of the pie.

*

After the stepping down of the Board and the CEO, the staff of the NKF cried. One would wonder why they responded in a way that was so different from that of the public. The Ming monster decided to investigate this phenomena...

Ming monster: Excuse me auntie, why you so sad ah? Everyone asking for them to step down but you and your colleagues seem to want them to stay.

Auntie 1: *sobs* Aiyah, boss go already, no more nice toilet to use la!

*

Ming monster: Excuse me auntie, you in-charge of cleaning toilet right? Why you also so sad ah? Now no boss to make you shine his toilet bowl already you should be happy what.

Auntie 2: *Wails* Aiyah, I still haven't finish scrapping off all the gold from his tap la!

*

DISCLAIMER

Characters in this post are all fictional. Any similarities or resemblances to real-life people or names are intentional, but with no defamatory, calumnious, nor pejorative intent. Readers should read at their own discretion and should bear in mind that the content was written purely for entertainment and humour, and real-life people bearing any semblance to these fictional characters should be held in a good light.

*

Ok, just had to be sure I included that in case I become the next talk of the town with a visit to court.

Convocation

2005-07-15T16:23:00.000+08:00

The past few days have been quite packed for me. So glad I can stay home and slack today. If I am so tired just by going out each day, I wonder how I'll survive when I start work. *shudders*

On Tuesday, I went down to my future office to get my contract signed. Finally settled all the administrative procedures and now all I have to do is sit and wait till 15 August when I officially step into the corporate world. Caught Initial D after that. Now I know what the fuss is all about. Jay Chou, Edison, Shawn Yue for the gals, fast cars for the guys. But then, don't you all think the whole show is just a super long Jay Chou MTV? Also, I think in the next few months, there will be an increase the number of road accidents as many people will be trying to drive like Jay Chou. Left hand on the stering wheel, right hand supporting the head and resting on the door. Tried it already. Ha. And being a right-hander, I can't control the car as well with the left hand. Nevertheless, I think the show was entertaining enough, though they really could have chosen a better looking female lead.

Wednesday. Convocation day. The ceremony was what I expected it to be: Boring. Just sat there waiting for my 3 seconds of fame on stage. The pro-chancellor for my session was Wee Cho Yaw. Unfortunately, I didn't get to shake his hand. With my surname being Lim, I was the 303rd person to go up on stage that morning and somewhere around the 200s, I think he started to get quite shack, so I think he asked someone to take over.

My main motive for going was to take pictures. After the ceremony, everyone was busy doing that. Or rather, most people were busy doing that. Others were, however, attacking the food at the reception upstairs, which I didn't even know existed. When I finally did find out that there was a reception, all the food was gone. Didn't get to take many pictures in the end because some people rushed off to take pictures with their family around the school (smtg which I don't seem to fathom), and others were just hidden in the sea of people. The main reason was because they split the whole graduating class from NBS were split into 3 sessions in the day. So I didn't get to see those in Biz, and those in Acc whose surnames start with T and onwards. Also, I was using the new Sony Cybershot. The camera is great, high res and huge screen and all. BUT, the images are blurred with the slightest movement when taking a picture. And when you get pple to take a picture for you, sometimes, they don't do it right and it doesn't come out well, while others just can't keep their hands steady. So I think when it comes to digital cameras, Canon is still the best.

Decided to ditch the traditional white shirt and go for a more unconventional purple one for the day.

Purple shirt, purple tie and to top it off, purple rubberbands on my braces. Ha. Wasn't really planned when I went to the dentist on Monday. But once I pulled on my shirt and tie and looked in the mirror, I realised it matched! Ok out of point.

Anyway, some of the pictures I took...

Me and Gavin. Smart joker who played in team NTU with me. Stuck my head behind his ass in scrums, while he sometimes cupped my ass in line-outs.

Me and Shuyi. I guess its out in the open now, so no harm saying that she is Mrs Gavin.

My FYP mates (the guys) and one of the top brains in school, Xunwen.

Mahjong kakis.

Alex and his teddy bear, and me.

Gaohan the brain.

Travel mates less Gary who is a Tan.

The Goddess of Gamblers, mahjong slayer, self-pick demon, and round tummied ice-cream and chocolate monster.

This is the only picture I took with the motar board on my head. You see that the girls are the ones with it on their heads because they pinned it to their hair.

We just HAD to take this picture of throwing the motar boards. I think after this picture, I finally understood why it is called a motar board, and not a hat, nor a helmet, nor a cap etc. It is because, when you throw the damn thing up in the air, it comes down like a motar bomb, and when it hits your head, good luck to u.

I AM actually in this picture. Just that my face is blocked by a hand. It doesn't pay to be tall. In future, when pictures are taken, short ones behind please.

And finally, Gary Tan. Waited till the next session so I could take a picture with him before he went in. And in typical Gary-fashion, he came fashionably late.

That night, we decided to go down to Zouk. Its been more than 4 months since I stepped in. I found that they reverted back to the old pricings where Phuture is a couple dollars more expensive than Zouk, thus pple entering through Zouk can't go into Phuture but not vice versa. Which is great cos I think that lessened the crowd in Phuture, though its still too packed. And once again, I derived no pleasure from the night out. I think I am really past it. Its time for a switch to a new environment that better suits me. Maybe next time it will be Velvet, or as Alex suggests, Balaclava, which does look quite happening from the outside. Gone are the times where dancing and trying to get drunk seemed like fun. I think now I just wanna sit down, have a drink and relax friends. Chill out, so to speak.

Thursday. Went to meet Josh to get my dive equipment. Will be going to Redang on Monday to dive. Decided to invest in my own equipment since I expect to be taking this up as a leisure activity in future. Spent quite a bit on a wet suit, mask, snorkel, fin, booties and sausage. Feel the pinch man. Think I am gonna go bankrupt before I even start work at the rate I'm going.

Josh brought me to his Dad's shop as well. His dad's place sells gifts and ornamental stuff. Their most popular items has been the 4-leaf clover collection for the past 2 years or so. As we all know, the 4-leaf clover is supposed to bring you luck. In the car, Josh was telling me how many of the people who bought the 4-leaf clover items came back to tell his dad that they struck 4-D or toto. There was even a woman who struck 1st, 2nd and 3rd prize 3 times each in 4-D. And many more testimonials. Well, I found it hard to believe actually.

Anyway, I went to his shop and on the way there, an insurance agent called me again to push her products. I shall go into this some other time, but if just for the record, I find insurance agents irritating. Anyway, I was on the phone, and I stepped into his dad's shop and decided to step back out to finish talking first before I could talk to Josh's dad. Then as I turned and walked back out, I notice something on the floor outside the shop. It was 2 folded $10 bills. WTF! Was what Josh said true?! So anyway, Josh showed me all the testimonials of the customers who struck 4-D and toto. They came back to the shop, took a photo with his dad and the shop and all. And it wasn't just 5 people. There was a STACK of A4 size testimonials, each with different people on it. It was probably about 20-30? Sounds too good to be true. Coincidence or does the legend really actually hold true? Anyway, I decided to use the $20 to get one of those 4-leaf clover stuff from the shop and also since Josh drove me around to get the cheap dive stuff, and also cos I hoped that maybe it would work against Huijing's mahjong prowess! So I got the handphone chain.

It costs $31 btw. Well, it is quite high for a handphone chain, but well, it has a reall 4-leaf clover in it. Not something you will find in Singapore. And since I found $20 outside his dad's shop, I should just "give it back". Well, about its mystical powers, I don't know if it exists, neither do I actually believe in it, but I did put it to a test. I played mahjong last night and I still lost. But then, Alex says, maybe it did help, it helped me lose less. *Deadpans*

Anyway, they didn't start selling this because of the superstition thing. They only started collecting testimonials when they realised there were quite a lot of people coming back to tell them about their winnings and introducing friends and all to them. Their shop is not in town or somewhere prominent, proves that the power of word of mouth is indeed a KSF to any successful business. Anyway, let's see if my luck changes.

Met up with my travel mates last night for dinner after getting my dive gear. Had a couple of hours to spare so I walked around Orchard. I deliberately went into Zara to check out the prices of the shirts I bought in Spain. I was pleased. Price in Singapore for their long-sleeved office shirts are $89.90 (though I thought it used to be $79, but oh well, all the better if its $89). Price I got mine in Spain: 29.90 euros, which works out to about $62 bucks or so. Heh. That's not all. Those I got on sale were 19.90 euros, although they are the previous season's collection, but still nice anyway. Talk about my shopping sprees when I talk about Spain next time.

However, I decided to walk into Kenneth Cole to just check out the belt prices too. Bought a KC belt from somewhere in Europe too (forgot where), and it was on sale. Got it for about SGD$50. Found that the belts here are twice the price. Ha. But then...went over to see the leather shoes and realised that the pair I bought before I left for my trip was on further reduction. Sigh.

After dinner with the guys, Alex, Huijing and I (eager to test my 4-leaf clover) adjourned to my place for mahjong. We picked up HJ's friend on the way since we're short of 1 ka. During mahjong, HJ's fren made a worrying revelation. She suddenly recalled an incident a while ago when she was on IRC. This guy came and tried to talk to her. Then he introduced himself as Jansen. Then he sent her pictures of HIMSELF. At that time, she already met me before cos we've played mj together a few times. So, she recognised the pictures this Jansen guy sent to her as ME. *STUNNED* I asked her how the photos looked like, and she said there was one where I was in a red T-shirt. So immediately I asked if I had gold hair. She said yes. Damn, it was my picture! Then she said, there was another he sent with me in the toilet. Damn, I knew that one too! The guy deinitely ripped them off my friendster profile. BLoody hell.

Then, she pressed him further for more details about himself, and he seemed to know stuff about me like I am from NBS and all, evidently he just took what ever minimal information he had from my friendster profile. As she pressed further, and asked if he was REALLY the person in the picture, he logged off. This is worrying. Someone using my picture to chat up gals! I don't even know a Jansen. Worst of all, he was on the NTU/NUS channel. Alex says someone is out to destroy me. Shuming (HJ's fren, the "victim") says someone is trying to sabo me. I say...he should not use such a ugly name as Jansen. Heh. Just kidding. But who ever goes onto IRC now? I always thought its dead. But this is serious. What if it was one of those guys who solicit sex on the Internet, and the girls are those who don't know me but see me in school or on the streets! OMG. IF anyone sends you my pictures, please get his number and arrange to meet him, and I will meet him personally.

AND...THOU SHALT NOT RIP ANY PICTURES FROM MY BLOG UNLESS AUTHORISED!

On a lighter note...You would think that girls are overwearing pink when you see this scene before you....

3 Girls, wearing a pink top and jeans in a row at a single ATM. There was actually another girl in pink top and jeans drawing money before I managed to whip out my camera, so that makes 4 girls in pink and jeans and withdrawing money from 1 single ATM at the 3rd floor of Wisma. Maybe its time to redo your wardrobe gals and guys(since guys are also into pink now)...pink is too IN to be IN in pink. So try why not try purple like me? Heh.

Ok enough for a day.

Europe Roundup - Brussels

2005-07-11T20:27:00.000+08:00

Bloody hell. I hate it when blogspot screws up and I have to retype everything. This one will certainly not have the same amount of enthusiasm.

Ok. From where I left off, I took a flight over to Brussels to meet the others after spending a week in the UK. I think I should first introduce each of them so I wouldn't have to point them out again in future.

First, Gary. The girls said that they thought of him as a serious person on first impression. Confident in his work, "zai", hardworking etc. But now they have revised their impression of him. In fact, it only took Peishan and Huijing 1 day to change their minds. Gary IS full of shit. 90% of the stuff that comes out of his mouth is rubbish. But of course it adds to the fun.

Next, Alex. Think I have talked about enough for me to leave out the introductory description. But there's one mystery about Alex which bugs me... He shits every day...but why he still so full of shit?

Huijing. Yes, the one who constantly milks me dry on the mahjong table. We found out her secret during the trip. Chocolates. All gambling fans know that the God of Gamblers, Gao Jun (Chow Yuen Fatt for those who dunno), loves chocolates. Huijing stuffs herself with chocolates everyday. Even if its not chocolates, she still has sweets, ice-cream, or nutella, or anything sweet she can lay her hands on. She eats so much sugar a day, we actually wonder where it all goes inside of her. (God of Gamblers is a show for those who REALLY don't know)
We are also speculating that putting tea bags on your eyes when you sleep helps you develop the power of looking through the back of a mahjong tile.

Jiawei. She's both brains and brawn. Top student of NUS Biz Ad. Don't pray pray. Soft-spoken, reserved most of the time, but once in a while, she also does take a gibe at us guys.

Peishan. She is independent, loves to take lead when we walk, so we let her to the topo, and then we hide while she does her usual charge ahead. Lucky for her, she managed to escape my camera.

Anyway, we only spent a night in Brussels because there wasn't much to see. Its a really small place, the city centre that is, and most of the sights are all a short walk away from each other. We completed all we wanted to see in just one afternoon.

First we went to check out the Grand Place, the most famous square in Brussels which is lined with nice buildings that were once guildhouses in the past, thus the tinge of gold on their exterior. The sky was overcast, so the pictures didn't turn out too well, otherwise the golden facade of the buildings around the square would have been nicer with the sun shining.

Just off the Grand Place is a statue of Everard 't Serclaes, some 14th century hero. Rubbing his tummy supposedly gave you good luck. But, obviously, as I have learnt, its a load of bull since I didn't win mahjong.

Next, we headed to see the famous statue of the Manneken Pis. Along the way, Huijing (not surprising, she loves sweet stuff) and Gary (not surprising, he's fat) decided to try out the Belgium waffles we kept seeing along the way. The stalls were everywhere. Just like Starbucks in the US. Unfortunately, I didn't think it was anything great. Wasn't that nice.

But Gary seemed to be enjoying his waffle.

And so did Huijing, such that she decided to leave some for tea. When we walk, and she craves for sugar, she would stick out her tongue and lick the sides of her mouth.

As we neared the site of the Manneken Pis, I noticed a crowd. Immediately I knew it was the statue. As I got closer, and saw the statue, I was thinking..."wtf, everyone comes here just to see this boy piss?!". Well, we know legend has it that this boy kinda saved the town from a fire by peeing, but then I expected the statue to be at least quite big or quite grand? But...its puny! Maybe when the little boy whipped out his hose and peed to put out the fire, that gave the fire fighters at that time to start using hoses to spray water instead of using buckets.

Up close...

Maybe its the way he poses that appeals to people? One hand on the waist, the other hand on the...and the back arched in a sexy pose. But, if that's the case, I can pose better. No hands even.

I was so disappointed. I decided that I would be a better Manneken Pis.

Anyway, we moved on. Met these 2 little kids along the street. Highly cute.

I love ang mo kids. I think they're the cutest, both in actions and in looks. Somehow, Asian kids just doesn't seem to be as cute. Unless of course, its me. Heh.

Ok. So we walk by this cathedral that looks very similar to the Notre Dame in Paris.

The girls wanted to go in and take a look, probably because they haven't seen much cathedrals yet. Gary and I have seen so many in Italy that its all the same to us now. And once you've been to the Vatican, no other cathedral can compare in terms of grandeur and majesty. But, this cathedral still had a nice big pipe organ mounted on the walls. Think its supposed to be one of the biggest in Europe or smtg if I remember correctly.

And also, the stained glasses which you'll probably find in every cathedral.

Next, we headed towards our final destination (yes, there is that little to see), the Royal Palace. En route, we walked through a park and decided to laze on the grass for a while. Rest and air our feet.

Huijing decides that she is a horse, and tries to sniff the flowers (weeds actually) on the grass. In Europe, people love to take their dogs everywhere the go. In the train, at the cafe when they eat, shopping etc. Some places, like Paris, you'll find dog shit everywhere, while other places, I the people bother to pick up after their dogs. So, Gary wondered, maybe a dog just shat on that same flower that Huijing just sniffed. Of course Huijing denies the possibility cos she didn't smell any shit. Then, we wondered, maybe a dog shat there before, that's why there are flowers there! Shit on soil = more fertile soil!

So, after lazing around in the sun, which wasn't hot since the weather was cool, we walked to the Royal Palace. Once again, nothing too fancy, even for a palace.

The highlight of the day was probably dinner when we had mussels. Gary says mussels and seafood are cheap in Belgium, so we should try it. Not really a mussel fan, but then it still tasted not bad. So long as the food is good, I'm a happy man. (Tip for the gals: The best way to Mingmong's heart is through his stomach. heh.)

Went back to our room which we had all to ourselves and played cards till we KOed. The next morning we had to catch a train down to Amsterdam.

Check out our bags (especially mine). Slowly you might notice that it gets bigger in size, things start to be hanging outside the bag and I have more things in hand. Think I started the trip with the heaviest bag pack at 18 kg.

En route to Amsterdam for 2 nights...

Shall type again tomorrow or smtg. Pissed off by blogspot for tonight.

P/S Alex is missing cos he only joined us in Berlin. He went to Copenhagen first.

Quarter-Life Crisis

2005-07-10T16:12:00.000+08:00

Warning! Mature and serious content.
Long rant ahead. Reader discretion is advised and if you feel bored, just skip this post.

As the title says it all, I am indeed into a quarter of my life, or maybe even more than that depending on when my time will come. Hopefully, it will come only after I have done all that I set out to achieve in this lifetime of mine.

Quarter-life crisis. Happens to people around my age, and I do see it happening, and feel it myself too. General characteristics include: insecurity about the future/career, re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships, disappointment about one's job, holding strong opinions about certain issues, nostalgia for the good ole days when we were younger etc...

Now I understand the meaning of quarter-life crisis: The start of adulthood and maturity. Its not a major problem unless the person is actually so bothered by these issues that he goes into recluse. For me, I think its just a period where I evaluate my life hitherto.

After reading Lance Armstrong's first autobiography, It's not about the bike, it just got me thinking about my own life story. Armstrong began his own reflection when he was diagnosed with cancer, which also happened to be when he was in his mid-20s. The cancer, which he was given a mere 3% chance of survival by his doctors, changed his life and how he decided to live his life.

However, I think that we shouldn't wait till we're threatened by death before we start looking back and changing ourselves for the better. But then again, as a leopard never changes its spots, I guess change never usually happens unless something drastic comes along to provide a cause for movement from your comfort zone, even though this comfort zone is not entirely good. In simple physics, F = ma. Without a force, there will be no acceleration, thus no movement.

In my own quarter-life crisis, it is more or less the same issues which niggles the mind of people in my boat.
1) Career
2) Lovelife
3) Family
4) Friends
5) Religion

1) Career - The balance between money, interests, and a life.

The foremost topic on the minds of my peers would be their careers and their financial stress. Everyone is fresh out of the University, searching for that "DREAM" job. Some take action about it, while others just sit back and complain. This has been a topic which has become a "must have" topic in a conversation. Sitting around in a coffee shop with friends, or meeting an acquaintance in the streets, or even just coming back from a holiday, and one of the first few things people will ask you is, "So where are you going to work?". This question is often a lead up to the question that most people are more curious about, "So...what is your starting pay?". Some ask it outrightly, some ask it subtly, while other's might see it as a sensitive thing to ask.

In my field, most of my peers would be answering the knell of audit, while some other lucky few would be joining the elite in the finance & banking sector. Obviously, it would be those who have to do audit that would be unhappy with their lives. I just met Teckie last night and this was what he said, "After that training trip to Bangkok, some people were already thinking of quitting". The trip was free and it was 3-4 days. Even Teckie, who since sec 3 has set out to do accounting all his life and used to proudly proclaim that he will be happy in audit all his life, was highly demoralised. I, myself dreaded the idea of going into audit, and thank God that I was given a path out of it.

Entering the working world marks the start of our liberation from financial dependency, but accompanying it are many other responsibilities. For some it may mean helping out with family finances, for some it may mean more shopping, while for others it could just mean saving to start a family in future. This is how different starting work can mean to people. While some people are complaining about how little pay they will get and how long they will have to work (I was guilty of that), others just can't wait to receive their first pay because their family needs it or so that his/her old father can retire from driving the taxi.

Finding that dream job is also on the minds of those around me. Some are lucky to get well-paying jobs with good prospects in the big banks or MNCs. Others are still holding on to audit and looking for an alternative. However, there are also those who do not have a job on hand yet. What exactly is a dream job? Is it a job that is able to pay you well now and in the future? Is it a job that offers u security and stability? Or is it a job that you love doing and feel happy doing? I say its all 3. But then again, how possible is that? A dream job could only be a dream. People always say that you have to love your job in order for you to be successful at it.

Steve Jobs recently talked to some Standford grads. He said that your work will be a huge part of your life and to find satisfaction in it, you need to do great things. And to do great things in your work, you need to love your work. Never settle, he says, and keep looking.

How often do we find people like Steve Jobs who starts a multi-billion dollar company doing what he loves in his garage. Or similarly, a Michael Dell who started his version from his university dorm. Yes, we have heard it all. School dropouts who made their mark eventually, entrepreneurs who started an empire out of their love for something. But how often does your love for something coincide with the possibility of being rich? Or rather for some, do you even know where your interest lies? My dream job would be to be a professional sportsman. But how feasible is that in Singapore? People in Europe can play football all their life for the love of it and make millions.

I also just met a friend who is currently interning in Merril Lynch. I have been disturbing him about the treats I should be getting in view of his future potential earnings if he were to be offered a permanent job upon graduation (which is usually the case after an internship). I have other friends who are also waiting their entrance into the Investment Banking. Somehow, I find it disturbing that still have some reason to be unhappy. Investment Banking = no life, they say. Well, my rebuttal would be, what about the auditors? They have a starting pay that is a quarter of yours but they also probably work the same kind of hours as the IBs. Isn't it weird that people are trying so hard to get into IB, but they are complaining it doesn't give them a life? It seems to me that people don't actually know what the hell they want. How can you want something and still complain about it? Personally, I say give me IB and I will be happy to work the long hours.

Auditors complain they have no life and no money. I-Bankers say its not all that glam and they have no life, but they don't complain that they have loads of money (OR they say they have the money but no time to spend it). The local soccer players complain they have no money, but they don't complain that what they are doing is what they love. However, the jobless and unemployed will worry because they have no money, which certainly means that they won't have much of a life.

I think it is clear that there are 3 legs to this stool. Money, Interests, and a Life. Without any one of it, we would all never be satisfied with our jobs. And when you are not satisfied with your job, you will probably be dissatisfied with your life. However, before you complain about how little you earn, or how boring your job is, or how little social life you have, think about that Bangladeshi worker at the construction site down the road who has no money, no life and probably no interest in his work.

I suppose it all boils down to the our insatiable innate desire for more. Its funny how the rich are never satisfied, and the poor are the ones who demand less. This can be explained even with Economics using the marginal utility curve. But here, the relationship between marginal desire for more against affluence is a concave curve instead of a convex one. When you have less money, comfort and luxury, you desire for less because you derive much utility from every little bit you get. But once you have too much of it, you derive less utility and need much more to be satisfied.

Therefore, my question is: What is it you want in your job: good pay, interesting work or one that doesn't affect your social life? I don't deny that there are jobs that fulfill all 3 criteria, but to do that is difficult because I think it is the interest part that depends on you. I think most people's interests do not coincide with the jobs that are available to them. Personally, I think my interest in business, finance and accounting was cultivated over the past 3 years because that was what I chose to study. Definitely not something I wanted to do since young. I knew nuts about the business world when I entered Uni to be honest. Although I am not passionate about it, it is still where my rice bowl lies. I can't just go do what I would like to do because that is just not pragmatic. Ideally, I want to just travel around, work somewhere until I'm bored of the place, then move on to another country. But, that is an idealistic thought that is not practical because there would be no security in finances, no savings for future, can't support family or can't get married even, etc...

The job I got fits just nicely into this mould that I have for a job. I don't get the best of the 3 worlds, but at least I get a bit from each. It has a competitive pay, I think its challenging and its not monotonous, and more importantly I relish the chance to work overseas. It isn't a "dream" job, but I look forward to it because it I still do get some of the 3 aspects.

Therefore, I think we shld all first decide what's most important to us. Money, a challenging and interesting job, or having time to relax outside of work. For me, I chose the challenge and interest part of work. Doesn't really matter how much the pay is, but I think being able to work overseas was most impt to me. Therefore, although we can keep looking for that ideal job, we should also try to isolate and prioritise on some aspect of a job, so we wouldn't be too dissatisfied with it for not having all the aspects u desire. More importantly, I think you shouldn't keep comparing with those who have better paying jobs than you because it will only make you more dissatisfied, but also think about those who are having a tougher time, then maybe you will realise you are actually quite lucky.

*Time out. Just received a life changing call. Somehow, it seem so coincidental that I received such a call at a time when I am reflecting on the past. How apt.*

2) Lovelife

Love. Something which seems to have eluded me for the past few years. Incidentally, it was the trip to Europe that got me thinking about this seriously. There was one night where the 6 of us were all huddled in the room talking about our love life. And of course when you are facing the most romantic scenes around you in Europe and see loving couples around, you can't help but wish you were in their shoes.

What is this thing called love? Why do you get together with someone and decide to spend the rest of your life together? Through our debate that night, I realised that there are 2 main schools of thought. Those who go more by the heart, and those who go more by the mind. Those who go by the heart, go by feelings first, then the mind, and vice versa. I think I belong to the Hearts, but I slowly find myself becoming a Mind.

Hearts are those who go by what their feeling tells them. You have strong feelings for this girl, you'll spend the rest of your life with her no matter what. Minds are those who probably have pre-determined criteria in their heads about what type of partner they want. They see someone who has the traits they require in a partner, then try and see if they can feel for them, but even if they don't feel so strongly, they remain committed. What does this mean? Hearts will stay with someone until the love is gone, while Minds will remain committed despite having no more love. Which is the better one?

From the perspective of a Mind, commitment is what makes a relationship work, while a Heart would only need love and the relationship will be sustainable. Is it right for someone to just leave his/her partner when he feels nothing for him/her anymore? Or is it wrong for someone to remain with his/her partner even though he/she feels nothing more towards his/her partner and as a result, behave differently or feel miserable inside.

If we look back in history, we find that marriage was set out to be something of a commitment, rather than out of love. Why do we take marital vows? Because it is a sign of commitment. Why do we now sign a marriage certificate? Because it also signifies we are entering a commitment. In the past, parents used to arrange marriages and both husband and wife will not even know their partner's favourite colour and they're in bed together on the wedding night. If you watched "Tou Fu Jie" last time, it was also a classic example of pure commitment of a wife to her child husband. There was no love between them. If you want the earliest example of a relationship, Adam felt lonely and needed a companion, so God gave him Eve. No choice here and just commitment.

Evidently, love was not a big part of people's lives in the past. But why is it that people now keep saying that its love that keeps couples together. Love is something that has been romaticized and propagated by Hollywood and TV. All those soppy love stories and fairytale endings are probably what caused the world to forget all about commitment and only think about love. Brad loved Jen, Jen loved Brad and they looked like the perfect Hollywood couple in love. But, now Brad says that he realised he has found his true love, playing Tomb Raider. It seems as though love is what breaks people up instead of keeping them together.

But now you may ask, why stay with someone you don't feel anything for? So no love means break up? Its either you suffer in silence and spend the rest of your life with someone you don't love, and maybe make your partner feel miserable too because you're no longer loving, or you could end the misery and allow yourselves to move on. I suppose what love has brought us is dating, which entails no form of long-term commitment.

Therefore, which is the right thing to do? I think that when we're young, we watch a lot of TV, we get influenced by Hollywood's portrayal of romantism, and we picture ourselves having this similar fairytale ending. We go out in search for this true love, and sometimes in the process break hearts along the way. Let's face it, hardly do we find people who marry their first and only partner.

However, I feel that this process is not entirely bad. Experiencing heartbreak at least once in your life is a growing experience. At least you would know how to handle such things early on in life, rather than risk handling it when you are in the midst of your career or worse still, when you're married. The stakes are just much higher when you are older, working and have other responsibilities. I still think that we need to feel for someone in order to make a relationship work. I see Western couples who are old and lovey dovey, walking hand-in-hand in the parks, going on holidays together etc. But when I look at most Asian elderly people, I hardly ever see them lovey dovey with their spouses. In fact, I think most of our grandparents don't even sleep in the same bed or room. Watch "Zhen Qing" and you will see Liang You (Grandfather) and the Grandma sleep on different beds. However, we see less divorce cases in Asia than in the Western countries, which is precisely where the big Hollywood sign is in California. Westerners go more by love, while Asians probably go more by commitment. But you don't always get a happy ending on both sides. It would be perfect if you have both.

Therefore, in my opinion, I think I am now 60% Heart 40% Mind. Although I conciously tell myself to get a girl who has all the virtues I need, I still need to feel. Some people say they want a smart, rich, pretty, confident husband/wife etc...but what if you don't feel for them. Some people say they will love his/her partner no matter what because love overcomes everything...but what if you find someone else you love more? So therefore, I say, date only with a long-term perspective. Don't treat it like a dressing room. Try, not nice, then try another. Love and commitment must come together, and should not be mutually exclusive. When love disappears, commitment has to continue to hold it together.

I guess this might not mean much to the young adolescent readers, but maybe when you come of age and start looking for a lifetime partner, this might make more sense. But still, a long-term perspective is always best despite the age. Although Alex advocates that relationships should only come when you are of a mature age, i.e. in university.

I have my regrets when it comes to this. Nevertheless, its all part of growing up and we learn from our experiences.

3) Family

Blood is thicker than water. But do we actually practice that? How often are you guilty of putting your friends ahead of your family? Could be anything from going out with your friends rather than having a Christmas dinner with your family, to actually liking your friends more than you like your family members.

When we're a small child, we love our parents more than any person in the world. What they say is always right and you will listen. However, the older we get, we tend to be quite rebellious and what our parents say is always wrong and you will do the opposite. We often find our parents' nagging to be irritating, but have we thought rationally about why they are nagging? For example, your mom goes, "ALEXXXXXXXX! Why didn't you keep the clothes?!!" Then you think to yourself, why the hell is she nagging again. But then you don't think that some of the clothes outside are yours too.

That's the thing about people living together. Just like how Economics predicts that people will contribute different amounts to a public good as try to reap as much benefit for their self interest. Similarly, when you live with someone (be it friend, family or spouse), you need to contribute fairly. Just like working on school projects, you will hate the free riders who put in minimal effort but get the same grade. In team sports, you will hate the ass who did not put in his full effort and resulted in the team losing. When you stay in hall with a roommate (friend or stranger), you always complain about the room mate who doesnt clean the floor as much, or help keep the room tidy, and I've heard of frens who fell out just because they lived together in hall for a year. So this definitely justifies why your mom will come after you when you dirty the house or don't help wash the dishes or keep the clothes. So if you can, do try to help out, it will help minimise the frequency of the naggings you will get.

I think we are guilty of taking our parent's for granted. We expect our Mom to wash our clothes, cook, clean our rooms etc, and see our Dad as a walking ATM. Unless of course, you have a maid and a sugar daddy, then your Mom will be your outlet for screaming and your Dad will be your other walking ATM. I once played mahjong with 2 other friends of one of my usual kakis. One of them was evidently quite well to do since her house was huge. Well, she kept complaining to her friend about her mom nagging her and stuff. First impression, typical spoilt rich girl. The other friend also talked about her mom's naggings and how she could escape it when she went back to the US to study. But her saving grace was when she said she actually missed her mom's nagging when she was gone for so long.

Now, if you were to see yourself 10 years down the road as parents and you are now in your parents' shoes, would you want your child to be like that? I think you will only realise then what your parents felt. But you can try to understand now, before getting irritated immediately when they come after you about something. Although this doesn't mean that parents are always right, sometimes they also just have too much pent up frustration in them, be it work or chores or both, and they need an outlet to release some of the steam. In such cases, as I've learnt, just shut up and let them talk till they're tired and they'll stop. I mean, you have your bad days too, and I'm sure you also take it out on friends, parents or bf/gf. Girls do that every month even! So, parents are also human.

Finally, sometimes I think that we are less patient with our family/parents than we are with friends. I guess its quite common because I think the closer you are to a person, the more freely you express yourself, less reserved I would say. To a friend, you might be more patient with him if he irritates you, or you might just hold it in and not show it. In contrast, you might just show your parents some attitude if they get on your nerves. Even between friends, I would say I would voice my discontent to a close friend at work rather than just a casual colleague. However, as much as I think this explains it, we should still bear in mind that we should respect our parents. So the best way to handle any situations with parents and anger, just shut up. More input will cause a longer nagging/quarrel, so input from one side is enough.

4) Friends

I have come to learn that friends are important in life. Contray to what people say about friends being there for you only in good times, while family is always there, I think good friends are also there for you all the time. I am thankful to be blessed with a bunch of great friends, most of whom are my wonderful team mates since Sec 2 where we share both glory and failure, sweat and tears, blood and even bones, on the rugby field.

There are also the special few individuals who really helped shape my life. Kimono is one person I never expected to be able to relate to since we were never exactly close in our long history dating back to Pri. 3. I guess he was always too mature for me when we were younger, and of course it took me a while to catch up with his level of maturity. But, I have always admired his charisma and maturity since Sec 1. Very rational, level-headed person whom at my darkest hour, I knew was the person I could count on. The other would be DJ, who is probably the most lovable live teddy bear to girls and likeable dude to the guys. Totally different from Kimono. Always cheerful, optimistic, FAT. heh. I think when someone chaperones you through hell and sees you in both happiness and sadness, you will never forget him. I think the difference lies in them being my chaperones during such times.

Another special character would be the Dengue. In the Sec sch when I sat next to him for 2 whole years, I shunned him like the Dengue Fever. Reason being, he was being too kaypo, always trying to probe into my highly confidential private life. And of course, he was too motherly at a time where I was rebelling against my own mom at home half the time. I certainly didn't need another Mom in school nor in trainings to boss me around. However, now as I look back, well yeah, he certainly has done a lot for me as a friend, and I appreciate it a lot. But then again, he says he is thinking of entering the oil industry next year too. What if he sits beside me in the office? I think I prefer him to sit outside my personal office room in future. heh.

Since the ruggers, I haven't really allowed other friends to come within my comfort zones. But I guess after 3 years of Uni, that changed. Teckie and Alex would be the most significant people. Teckie, just known him for 3 years but I can say that he is one of by best buds in Uni. Although we have fought while working together, and he constantly burns a hole in my pocket on the mahjong table, but I'm sure no love is lost. Somehow, he feels a little like the Dengue of old. Alex on the other hand, also goes back to Sec 1, but I only knew him better in Uni, though we spent sec sch, JC, and even army in the same camp! He is one classic character. Serious on the outside, but bloody hell full of shit when you are with him. But then, he still exudes maturity of thought, and an optimism and easy-going nature that I admire. He seems like a combination of Kimono and DJ. However, do not be surprised if hear of a certain Alex Han being exiled 10-20 years from now, cause he is likely to try leading a political revolution in Singapore.

While my list is not exhaustive, many others have played apart somewhat in shaping my life thus far, in big or small ways. Friends are important, good friends are a blessing. Though they might not come before your family in future, one day you might just have to put them ahead of your home. When? When you quarrel with your wife and you're handed a pillow.

5) Religion

After that phonecall I had, I've decided not to talk about religion because I think it is a never ending debate. The more I talk about it, especially to people who are more staunch believers, I feel as though I am questioning the religion although my I do not question my faith. Ultimately, it is my wish to improve the spiritual aspect of my life.

Conclusion

Many dissatisfactions in life result when you compare with others. Most of the time, what people compare is their material wealth and possession. This is something people love to do, and when they compare, they always focus on what they are lacking which others have, and also comparing with people who are better off rather than those who are worse off. Being from a so-called "rich" secondary school put me among the upper class people of society. Fortunately, none of my close friends were of the filthy rich category. But even so, I still found ways and means of comparing what material possessions they have and what I don't. And in those teenage years, it was really easy to feel envious. For example, I would look a particularly trendy friend who would be decked in his surf wear and think I why I don't have those. But, I never once looked at the simple, easy-going friend who was just happy with his T-shirt and jeans.

Come army, I was experiencing a whole new different story. I lived with the uneducated guys my age, those who have been to jail, those who have half their bodies covered in tattoos with battle scars to show. In those 2 years, I never felt any envy towards them. They were not well-to-do, some had financial problems, loanshark problems, child problems etc. It was then that I saw the other side of society that I was never exposed to since young. I felt that I was so lucky to be born with although not a silver spoon, but at least a spoon. I deliberately wore my lousiest and unbranded clothes to camp. Carried a lousy bag. Wore crap shoes. With them, I didn't have much to compare about like I used to and feel like I am missing out on something. Instead, I began to compare in the other direction which most people don't do: with the less fortunate. I was able to count my blessings for once and know how lucky I am to be able to drive my Dad's car, or how lucky I am to have money to buy nice clothes, eat at nice restaurants etc.

On the other hand, I think if I had gone to OCS and been an officer, I MIGHT have earned a hefty army salary, and splurge it on expensive clothes, IT Gizmos, a $1000 bicycle, etc. Then I might not notice the poor dudes under me and focus more on the friends outside who are richer, drive their Dad's Merc, or have their own car, or get added pocket money on top of the disgustingly meagre officer pay. Result would be a very dissatisfied person who will be complaining of being broke, not realising that its not because of the meagre officer pay but that its gone to the gizmos.

Thankfully, I chose to be a lowly paid corporal instead. I thought of it as a mistake at first, but then I saw the benefits and enrichment I gained later and realised it was actually a great choice.

What I hate about money is how it can be the root of quarrels between couples, how it can break up a family when family members fight over it, or how friends can also be lost through it. Funny how we can just give up family and friends for money. Money vs family, a creation of Man vs what creates Man. What an irony.

Therefore, try counting your blessings instead and you'll probably be a happier person. When you live with people, be it your friends or family, compromise is important and free riding is definitely the source of conflicts. Always respect your elders and parents. If they offer you the car to go out and they take the bus instead, please do not take the car. If they nag at you, just shut up and listen, or block it out (without covering your ears please). Treasure your friends, especially your close friends, for they will also be your pillar in times of need, as you will be to them.

Ok. End of rant. Writting this was therapeutic enough to sort out all my thoughts of my quarter-life crisis. I have never spent so much time on a post before and my wrist feels like its cramping. I am not trying to enforce any ideas on anyone, nor do you have to agree with what I think. But I do welcome alternative views too.

Tomorrow I will be back to posting about my trip.

Europe Roundup - The UK

2005-07-09T01:16:00.000+08:00

Managed to settle one of the stuff on my "Things to do" list: Go do my hair. I know the phrase is typical of a gal but then that's practically what I did. I just wanted a hair cut, and was contemplating dyeing. So I went down and decided to cut and colour. Then my stylist asked if I wanted to try perming my hair. I was like, "har?!? perm?!". Then she said just perm the sides so that it won't be so "pong" cos the sides always stick out when its short. So, I decided...what the heck, just try lor. Think after so long, she knows that I am always game for trying new stuff with my hair. In the end, I sat on that chair for 3 whole hours. Luckily I brought a book to read. But I am quite satisfied with the cut and the colour. Hopefully its acceptable enough for work though. The perm...well, I can't really see any perm at all honestly. But it does look like it stays down now.

As a result of that unexpected 3 hours spent sitting on the salon chair, I was late in meeting Joe Tang Kim Bin for dinner. Had dinner at Gluttons Bay, which I never knew existed (I am quite a sua ku when it comes to Singapore). We then adjourned to Harry's Bar, which is also my first time setting foot in, and I don't mean first time in Harry's Bar Esplanade, but first time in Harry's. I delibrately ordered the Sangria to check out the Singapore standard. The verdict: It tastes similar, but then as I watched them mix it, I knew the alcohol content is probably as much as jolly shandy. Like 3 quarters of it was juice. In Spain, when I watched them mix it, I was horrified that I was actually guzzling so much hard alcohol. It must have been like half a bottle of red wine, then add in the whisky, gin and brandy, then a small little can of Fanta Lime, then the ice and the citrus fruits. At Harry's, it was filled with a little cherry brandy and brandy, then 3/4 the jug was ice and orange and lime juice, then she slowly added exactly 4 shots of red wine. Kaoz. Oh well, no more Sangria in Singapore for me.

Something really embarassing happened last night too. While at Harry's, I noticed a lady who looked really familiar, but I couldn't recall where I met her. Then at that moment, she turned around and looked in my direction. I thought she had that look as though she recognised me too. Then she waved, so instinctively I waved back thinking that I was right about recognising her. Then she smiled and told her fren something and her friend looked over too. So I was thinking to myself, that seems like I did meet her somewhere before and I was trying real hard to recall whether I met her at the BP interviews or she was from KP. But somehow, I couldn't seem to remember seeing her in BP nor KP! Joe and Bin asked me to go over and chat a little and try to indirectly find out where I met her, but I decided not to. So the whole night until we left, I couldn't figure it out. Then when I stood up to go, I wanted to say bye, but she didn't look up from the table. SO I was more baffled. I walked out and asked Kimmy if I should go back in and say bye, just in case she was gonna be working with me. So I walked in and went right in front of her table to say bye, BUT SHE DIDN'T LOOK UP! Totally bo hiew me! So I just walked back out immediately,sensing something was amiss. I went out and I told Kimmy about it and still he didn't think much about it. I told him that I suspected that maybe I didn't know her and she was actually waving to a waiter behind me or smtg. Then, on the way home, it suddenly all dawned on me. I DID recognise her, but I never talked to her nor was she from KP or BP. I recognised her because she was one of the HR pple from UBS or Barclays and she was one of those speakers during their recruitment talks I attended. Alamak! I think she really must be waving to a waiter or someone else la, then after that see me wave then laugh to her friend that a moron over at the bar thought she was waving at me. Then she is like at least late 20s or 30s even! Must be laughing her head off that a young boy tried to pick her up. See bey pai seh man. Bet her friends (confirm 30+ pple) must be having a good laugh man...esp when I went back in to try and say bye.

Anyway, back to the recap of the past 6 weeks. Shall start of with the week in the UK.

As mentioned before, I took more than 24 hours to get to Glasgow, partly due to the long transit I had in Stansted airport. Landed in Heathrow and took a bus to Stansted which cost me 20 GBP. Super heart pain. Reached Stansted and couldn't get on an earlier flight into Glasgow, so I had to nua at the airport for 7 hours or so I think. My first meal in the UK was this breakfast set which I got from the cafe in the airport. Cost me 6 GBP. Ouch.

Then came lunch which I tried to save on by looking around the whole airport for the cheapest sandwich and cheapest Coke. After trying to sleep, study, read, but invail, it was finally time for me to board the plane. Was a pretty short flight of just over an hour into Glasgow. Landed and too a train into the city centre where I met my friend Xinyi who's there on exchange. Free lodging from her and her Scottish friend Gareth certainly helped save some money, esp when its Pounds we're talking about.

Anyways, it was quite cold in Glasgow. It was bearable with just my thin windbreakers though, unless I walked in the rain, which I did one day because Xinyi insisted on doing so. Cold wind, drenched jacket, drenched shoes and socks. My toes almost felt like they were dropping off.

Wasn't really much to see in Glasgow though, among those I checked out were...

George Square, which is kinda like the main squares of the city centre. You see this kinda square with nice buildings around it and a tall pillar monument in the centre and many statues all over Europe btw, as you would notice in my photos of the other places. Just like cathedrals and palaces and castles, they're everywhere such that its all the same most of the time.

Sauchiehall Street, one of the main streets of the city centre where most of the shops are. Its pronounced "SUCKY HALL" by the way, well at least thats what the Scottish people call it.

Goya Museum. Not a famous museum, but check out the statue outside the museum.

Apparently, some people who get high on their drinks somehow love to climb up the statue and put that cone on the head of the dude riding the horse. The police will always remove it, but after a while it will appear again. So, the police decided that they're wasting their time taking it down all the time and prolly looking like morons climbing the statue, so heck it and leave it there. Absolutely hilarious.

Provand's Lordship. Just some small little house which wis supposed to be the oldest dwelling in Glasgow that was built in the 15th century. People then were smaller in size, so I had some trouble entering the doors.

Glasgow University. Just took a look at it for the sake of looking at it since I was already at West End, which is like the other happening place other than the city centre. Its like Bugis Junction. Somewhere off the main city centre and full of life. But I didn't see much life there when I went though. Heh.

On the other days, I just hung out with Zhi Hui, also there on exchange, and some other Singaporeans I got to know there as well. Went to this tea house for English tea. The tea house was not just any ordinary teahouse, but a teahouse designed by a famous Mckintosh, a famouse Scottish architect, which Xinyi seems so impressed with. Didn't really impress me though. He jus kinda like to put mosaic patterns into his buildings or smtg like that.

Anyway, it was the food that I was more concerned about. Unfortunately, I was highly disappointed by the tea, which I just didn't like. I think I'll stick to chinese tea, green tea and teh. I tried gingerbread just for the sake of trying it, and guess what?! It came as a Gingerbread Man!!!!

Not! I cut the shape myself. Ha.

Went over to Edinburgh for a night cos I had to take my CFA there. Just an afternoon there was enough for me to see all there was to see, which basically is just the Edinburgh Castle I guess.

I like Edinburgh more than Glasgow. I get the old town kind of feeling like I'm in a medieval town, probably cos the architecture of the buildings are the old Victorian kind. The buildings were preserved since the 16th century or smtg. For example, along the Royal Mile, the road that leads up to the Edinburgh Castle, the buildings are typically what was found in the 16th century.

Saw this bag-piper along the way. Wonder how he withstands the cold breeze blowing up his kilt. Hope he is wearing some thermal underwear to protect his "bag" and "pipe".

The major highlight, the Edinburgh Castle. Didn't get to go in because I was there too late. But I didn't feel the pinch though cos I knew I had more castles in store for me in the rest of Europe.

As I mentioned before too, Gareth took us on a road trip one day. He drives at an average speed of 140km/h. Scared the shit out of me. Anyway, we went to Falkirk to see the Falkirk wheel. An amazing structure which carries boats from a lower canal to a higher one.

This is how it starts off. The boat enters at the bottom or the top...

and the thing spins 180 degrees to lift or lower the boat into the higher or lower canal respectively. Power ah.

Then we went to Stirling to see the Wallace Monument. I'm sure you all have watched Braveheart to know who William Wallace is. Anyway, I got some wonderful views from the top of the monument which I had to climb by foot. Just like in Secondary school Geography lessons, the meanders of the river. In years to come, with continued erosion on the river banks, a cut-off would form, and following it, an ox-bow lake would develop. Heh. Dun pray pray, I top the level in Geog before ok!

Sidetrack: Melvin Deng (aka Dengue)... I remember that you always tried to beat me in Geog but failed! muahahaha. There was once, we got back our exam scripts and he had a higher mark than me and he was over the top! I was in shock! He finally beat me at my pet subject! As he celebrated, I checked through my paper in disbelief. BUT...I discovered the marker totalled the marks wrongly! HAHAHA. I had some extra marks added and poor Dengue was over the CLIFF. muahaha.

Ok back to the main story. Then we went to Dundee, which I've said is a dump. So nothing much to show. Then we headed to St Andrews, which is where Prince William is studying and of course home to the world's most famous golf course and the home of golf itself.

Went past some castle ruins by the sea and took pictures of the coastline. I love the sea and coastline btw.

Then this was where we saw this girl stripping down to her underwear. They heard us laughing from below the cliff cos of the echo and the girl started shaking her bon bon when she saw Zhi Hui trying to take a picture. She then jumped into the freezing cold water and swam in that "pool" of water from the North Sea. It was low tide so the sea water was trapped in that pool-like structure that must have been part of the castle in the past. Her frens then joined her in the water too.

Then, they beckoned to us to go down and join them. Crazy as it sounds, I did. Zhi Hui and Gareth chickened out. I walked slowly into the pool and f***! it was cold! Not just cold, it was ice cold! In addition, the sea breeze was already cold to begin with. I was already quite cold with my clothes and windbreaker on, I didn't know why in the world I would take it all off (save for my underwear and singlet) and go in the water. And no, its not because the girl was hot, she was not. Ah ma panties? Definitely an immediate turn-off! Heh. Nevertheless, it was refreshing. But, I had numb toes for the next half hour.

So that basically sums up in short what I did in Scotland. Can't possibly load every picture cos I took more than 800 pictures i think. 512mb worth of pictures.

Left Scotland after spending about 6 days there. Went over to London for a day before my flight to Brussels. Actually, taking BA was perfect for me to go over to Scotland because I had to transit in London. So the next time you have a transit, make full use of the trip there and stay in that place for a while first before getting your next flight. It was just nice that BA stops over at London before going on to Brussels, allowing me to go up to Scotland.

Anyway, I didn't really take much pictures of London since I was there 2 years ago. I just wanted to catch Les Mis that night. Pictures in London all quite dark and gloomy, its usually cloudy and overcast most of the time there, or at least the times I was there I barely saw the sun.

Whatever time I had before the show, I just walked around taking some pictures, which would be all too familiar to most people. The Big Ben, River Thames, Westminister Abbey, blah blah blah...no need to show pics la, I'm sure you've seen those places even in Mr Bean.

But I'm sure you never knew I had my own place in London...

One other thing I saw in London that not everyone would see is...... well actually its someone......

Ewan McGregor.

Was walking back to the hostel after Les Mis when I saw a crowd of people outside the theatre just down the road from my hostel. So as a typical kaypo Singaporean, I went to check it out. And I saw girls, mainly, crowding around this dude, whom I soon recognised as Obi-Wan. But of course it wasn't the premier of Star Wars, but he was acting in a new Broadway musical "Guys and Dolls" which recently came to London. He was signing autographs after the musical for the gals and so I just took a couple of pictures of him just because.

So that's about all for the 1 week in UK. There was much more fun when I met up with the others. Talk about it in another post soon.

Return of the Mingmong

2005-07-08T05:35:00.000+08:00

Its been 12 hours since I touched down and I am still awake. Time now - 5:40 am. My body time - 10:40pm. Still feel damn awake and I just had my "dinner". But somehow, I don't feel the need to quickly change my body clock to the Singapore time since I am looking forward to some late night mahjong soon. Also, I am not working (yet), so I have all the time to nua (sorry to those who have already started work. heh.).

Anyway, the flight back was a long one. About 18 hours of it from Portugal with a transit in London. In all the British Airways flights I took this trip (4 of them), I experienced turbulence. On the way to London, the plane suddenly dropped for a moment, like a roller coaster where your insides feel the drop. This wasn't the worst one I experienced though. The first and worst time was just last year on a Qantas flight to Australia. The plane dropped suddenly while everyone was eating, and the trays almost fell to the ground. On the flight home yesterday, the plane kept shaking left and right once every hour, and sometimes went up and down. Terrible. Is it BA/Qantas that's the problem? I've been flying BA/Qantas for the past 3 years and continue to do so cos I have my frequent flyer miles. But seems like I might have to reconsider changing to SIA. SIA has SIA girls to beo (though I doubt there would be any stunners, but at least better than the male stewards and lao chios on BA), SIA's movies can start anytime you want while BA/Qanta's movies run in fixed cycles, and SIA hasn't crashed before (less Silkair). Maybe the next flight I take I'll try SIA.

Before I boarded the plane, I heard that London won and they're gonna host the 2012 Olympics. Not too much of a surprise even though Paris was supposed to be the favourite. When I touched down in Singapore, I heard that London got bombed. What a sudden turn of events after a plane ride! One moment I expect London to be celebrating their "Waterloo" over the French and how I wish I could have been there to soak up the atmosphere, the next moment I was so thankful it wasn't Heathrow that they bombed cos I had a transit there. The first thing I thought of when I heard about the bombing was that it was because they won the Olympic bid. Terrorists trying to dampen their celebrations or the mafias lost money in underground bets on Paris and were angry so they bombed their public transport system. Seems like a lot of big news involving the UK in just 1 day. Their IOC victory, G8 summit in Gleneagles, the shocking G8 transfer to Chelsea (Steven Gerrard, his jersey is 8) which of course has now broken down, then the bombing.

Anyway, I was reading the UK papers in the airport and this picture was plastered on BOTH The Daily Telegraph and the Daily Mail.

When I saw it, I told Alex that David Beckham came down to Singapore. Then after he took a look at the picture, he said, "look at all the sua kus behind taking photos". I took the papers and looked carefully, and oh man, almost every person behind David Beckham in the background were girls and they were all giggling, smiling and had their cameras out trying to take even the back of his head. I mean its understandable for fans to take photos like at the airport or when he's on the streets and all. But that picture was taken during some convention and the dudes beside Beckham were all trying to look serious, but behind all the young gals were going crazy. A bit the extreme la. Take picture also take the face mah, back of the head also so gian. Only "Du Shen" (God of Gamblers) has the back of his head taken in pictures.

Anyway, its nice to be back, though I wouldn't mind extending my trip. But now there're things to be done back home. Need to settle work stuff, re-arrange my room, convocation, getting everything in order for the next phase in life : working, and trying to squeeze in a couple more short trips before I start work, heh. Oh, I need to catch up on all the movies i missed too! Anyone wanna date me to the movies? heh.

Got my pictures all into the comp but I'll blog about the trip tomorrow or smtg.

Worst thing about Singapore : the weather.

Melting in Spain

2005-06-29T00:59:00.000+08:00

This is the 3rd time I am typing this because the power keeps tripping. Decided not to waste the effort again. Haven't been blogging cos I don't have the luxury to sit and blog all the time, neither is there cheap internet everywhere also. But don't worry, I will be back in just over a week and I will put up the pics and have my blog alive and kicking again. Expect heavy picture loads. I have already taken about 600+ pics... I think. And that's just my camera alone. There are 5 other cameras. Heh.

Its bloody hot here and its tiring me out quickly each day. I kinda miss the cold I had up north. This trip has been better than I expected it to be. Its been really fun and I think 6 people is really the ideal number to have on a trip. No more, no less. 6 people cos there will be enough people to keep up the entertainment and conversations. Its an even number so in buses and trains we can sit in pairs if we have to. In addition, many hostel rooms come in 6s or 8s, so we can have a whole room to ourselves. Even if we don't, we practically own the whole room. Now that Peishan and Huijing have left for home, its less noisy. Or maybe its because Huijing is the noisy one and the source of entertainment for us guys. Ha. Tomorrow, its gonna be just me and Alex gaying for the next week. But of course, it will be fun nevertheless.

We have all agreed that this trip has been an all-rounded one. We practically done everything there is to do on a holiday. Normally, coming to Europe would probably just involve cathedrals and castles and more cathedrals. But, we covered more aspects than just seeing such architecture and stuff.

We had outdoor stuff like climbing a mountain, and sitting by a stream at the foot of a waterfall. We had cultural stuff like watching a ballet and visiting art works of Picasso or architecture of Gaudi etc. We also had historical stuff like all the World War history of Germany and the monarchy of the Austrian empire etc. We had relaxing time in the parks where we had picnics, or at the beach. We had boundless scenery, some of which are the best I've seen so far. We also had some naughty stuff like porn and checking out the red light districts. Can't remember what else already but then the only thing we lack is partying! Too bad I don't think we will be doing that. Ibiza has been ruled out of our itinerary because its too expensive to go there for just a day. But anyway I not very gian to club either. Old already, clubbing not much kick.

Alright...will be back in 10 days or so. Blog when I get back. Adios.

Europe Part 4

2005-06-13T00:24:00.000+08:00

Finally found a place with cheap internet. Since the last time I blogged, I have been to Brussels, Amsterdam and now I´m on the last day in Berlin. Its been bloody cold at times here when the wind blows. Its the wind that´s the killer here, otherwise its not that cold, just like aircon. Unfortunately, I was more prepared for summer and thinking of the hot weather in Spain I will be getting, I didn´t bring much warm clothing. Nevertheless, I am still alive. Huijing still can wear miniskirt out in the cold, but only because she had a reason. Will come back to that if I have time. Have 20 mins left on the computer.

Brussels
Really small city. Can practically walk to all the attractions within a day. Fortunately we didn´t stay longer than 1 night there. Otherwise it would be a little boring. Nothing famous to see in Brussels, but just the chocolates and ate the mussels there which are quite cheap and popular.

Amsterdam
The city of sex, drugs and booze. We stayed just 2 streets from the redlight district. Took a walk through it one night and checked out the ´fish tanks´. Got approached to buy coccaine too. Of course I declined. Went to the sex museum which is depicts the history of sex and pornography. The gals seemed to take it quite well, especially with the porno pics all around, some of which are seriously hardcore. Gross at times too. There was this picture of this famous porn actor called ´Long Dong Silver´ who was famous for his 47cm schlong. The people there are quite funky, especially the junkies. Saw an Ah Ma who had a mohawk which was red in colour. Power. There was a strike on one of the days too. No buses and trams and trains. Kaoz. Apparently strikes are quite common place there. We took a break in the countryside for an afternoon though. Took a nap a river and the windmills. Quite therapeutic.

Berlin
Berlin is more of the historical heritage than scenic sights and stuff. Learnt quite a bit about the history of Germany and the wars. Just went to a concentration camp today. Interesting thing here is that the beer is cheaper than mineral water. So obviously, I get the beers instead. Another wierd pricing paradox is that small stuff are more expensive than big ones. For example, a 1.5 litre bottle of water would cost more than a 0.5 litre bottle of water. Totally wierd. I understand economies of scale but this is just bizarre. Will be taking a night train to Munich tonight. Oh, the wursts (German sausages) here are excellent. Been having it for every meal. Shiok!

Time is running out and I can only squeeze in a short post. Unfortunately, I can´t put in any pictures since they don´t allow downloads in public computers. Wait till I get home in a month then.

In other news, I am being raped at mahjong here as well. Seems like the wind and water here don´t favour me as well. Sigh.

Europe Part 3

2005-06-07T16:39:00.000+08:00

Now at Heathrow waiting for my flight to Brussels to meet the others. The past few days have been quite good. The last 2 days in Scotland were nice. Apart from the dreadful exam, I managed to get some good sights and pictures.

The exam was a snore. While everyone else was busy on their paper, I was stoning, wondering what to do. Well, I guess I don't expect to pass it considering how much effort I put in. But then again, maybe I will be lucky for once? Ha. How unlikely will that be. 240 MCQ questions. What are the chances that I will pass with guess work. Nil. On the other hand, if my surrounding neighbours did actually study hard for their exam and know their stuff, maybe I will pass. Ha. I wish I had better eyesight.

Went to Edinburgh to take the paper. Spent a night there. Its a much nicer city than Glasgow in terms of the touristy stuff. The old architectural buildings and the Edinburgh Castle are probably the main things to see. Glasgow on the other hand is more modern. Anyway 1 day was more than enough for me in Edinburgh.

The last day in Scotland was spent on the road. A Scottish guy I got to know through my friends there brought us around the area in his car. He is the most reckless driver I've ever met. More reckless than me even. He hit speeds of 150km/h on the highways. It could have been more even. Anyway, we went around Glasgow to the nearby towns. Went to Falkirk, Dundee, Stirling, and St Andrews.

Falkirk was for the Falkirk wheel. Some engineering wonder that connects 2 canals at different heights and carries boats from the lower canal to the higher one, and vice versa.

Stirling is the place made famous by Braveheart, where William Wallace defeated the strongest English army of his time with a small army of his own. Went to check out the William Wallace monument and realised that he must be the Scottish version of China's Guan Yu. He was supposedly bigger than the average person and wields a bloody long and heavy broadsword.

Dundee is a dump as my Scottish friend Gareth puts it. So nothing much there.

St Andrews is known prolly because Prince William studies there. Nothing much of the place since I am not a fan of Prince William, but its by the coast so the sea views were nice. I like scenery by the way, especially water and mountains and greenery. Did the stupidest thing ever. Went to swim in the freezing waters of the North Sea. What started out as noticing 2 gals and a guy stripping to jump into the water, ended up with me in the water too, in underwear. Gareth didn't wanna get in because he claimed he didn't have the 'right' underwear on. Wonder what that means. What kinda underwear do you need to swim in the sea?! Zhi Hui didn't want to either, cos he was chicken. Heh. Anyway, the water felt like zero degrees. In addition to that, it was already quite cold outside with the chilly sea breeze blowing and all. Lasted only 1 minute in the water. One of the girls was happily frolicking in the water, swimming around in her bikini top and panties (ah ma panties. Ha.). Must be cold blooded.

Whipped up a home cooked meal at Gareth's place for the last dinner. I cooked fried rice. Not bad for a first try at it, and it was good. At least to me and him only.

Got up early the next morning to take a plane back to London for the day. Didn't really know what to do there since I've already seen all the stuff there before just 2 years ago. So the only thing I wanted to do was catch a musical. And Les Mis was at the top of the list. Fortunately, I managed to get seats. Even better, I got front row seats for half price (student price). Which is about 20 pounds. Cheap. First time sitting soooo close to the stage. I was just behind the conductor. Initially I thought I got cheated cos it felt like I was in the front row of the cinema. But then when it started, I think it was good cos I could see the expressions on the actors. Normally, I sit somewhere in the middle of the stall for musicals and don't get to have such an upclose view. Think next time, nearer the stage the better. But, prolly not right in front. Sometimes can't see the action right at the back of the stage. Les Mis is excellent by the way. Probabaly the best musical I've seen so far. Nice songs, touching story.

Other than watching that at night, I just fast marched through London during the day to revisit some of the places again. No change since the last time. I actually typed an entry yesterday but the bloody computer shut down on me before I posted it. Highly pissed off.

London is probably the most cosmopolitan city in the world, since I've never been to the Big Apple yet, nor seen any other place that just reminds me of a United Colours of Benetton advertisement. One would think that racism in such a place would be minimal. As I was walking around, I walked past 2 guys. One of the guys pointed at me as he walked past me and said outloud, "hey! isn't that Bruce Lee?!" Na Bayyyy...What Bruce Lee. At least say Edison or Takeshi ma. Bruce Lee so ugly! Makes funny noises also. Heh. But anyway, that's not racism la. Just some moron trying to be funny.

Anyway, after walking for like 2 hours through London, I realised something.... My zip was open. Shit.

Alright, better stop. Internet at the airport is bloody ex. Just using up my loose change.

To end off, here's more Scottish lingo, courtesy of the nicest Scottish guy I know, Gareth. Actually, he is the only Scot I know.

Ming: Smelly. If you "ming", you stink.

Minger: Ugly. If you're a "minger", you're fugly. This I already knew because I have a T-shirt that says Minger in huge letters across the chest. Obviously my friends who bought it for me because its MINGer and might not have known what it meant. But then again, they might have known it described me.

Mong: Stupid. If you are a "mong", you're a dumbass.

Therefore,

Mingmong = Stupid, ugly and dumb.

Now Gareth doesn't seem so nice anymore. Btw, somehow I think he has a slight resemblance to the Smallville Clark Kent. Maybe its the hair.

Europe Part 2

2005-06-03T05:11:00.000+08:00

Firstly, I need to do this shout out....WOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Why? That's because I just checked my email and I got the offer for that job I've been gunning for. Finally, a load off my mind! Haven't been able to sleep properly for the past 2 nights because I keep anticipating them to call me, so I keep waking up to check my hp for any miss calls (I'm 7 hours behind Singapore). Now at least I look forward to going home even though it means starting work earlier than I would have in KP.

Anyway, I've decided to record down whatever I've done here cause I forgot to bring a note book to note down where I've been and what I've done etc. Too bad if its boring. Ha.

After I finished the short post yesterday, I realised I forgot to mention some interesting events I encountered. Firstly, I saw a catfight. As in a gang of girls fighting. In the open on the main shopping street of Glasgow. Not the typical Lians but they were more like young punks. Guess the gals were probably at most 15/16 years old, but it was a bunch of them. This girl was screaming hysterically at this other girl. The hysterical girl was trying to punch/hit/whack/kick the 'victim' who stupidly stood there and let her lash at her. The other girls in the group were kinda like extras. Some were trying to separate the 2 girls or restrain the hysterical one (note that I could not make out WTF she was screaming. I dunno if its the heavy Scottish accent or she just sounded like a mad woman). The other gals in the group were just standing around, using eye power. I wanted to take a picture of the catfight, but I decided that it might not be wise, even though they are small gals, but then 10 on 1, I think I might lose still. ha. As I walked on, the screaming never stopped. A bunch of guys walking in the opposite direction, heard the screams and immediately knew it was a catfight (sounds like its common here), and they rushed down to watch. Ha. I looked back down the street. This time, the hysterical gal pulled the dumb 'victim' to a tree and started pulling her against it. Like trying to bang her against a tree (thin little stemmed tree which prolly could only hurt a girl), though it looked more like a feeble attempt which lacked any strength. Anyway, it was highly amusing. 500 metres away, I could still hear her screaming. I think at the end of the day, the one 'injured' would be the hysterical one, nursing her sore throat at home. Ha.

Next thing I was highly amused by is the Scottish accent. I think the Scots by far have the heaviest English accent. I can barely catch what they say at times. It just sounds like they're mumbling. But anyway, I've always loved the Scottish accent ever since Braveheart, and hearing Alex Ferguson talk. Interestingly, their conversations (those that I hear in eating places, bars, on the street or on the hp) are laced with numerous Focks. They don't pronounce it as Fuck, but Fock. What's funnier is how they say 'shit', which they pronounce as 'shite' (shy-te).

Just a thought that came to my mind...my friend Fock Ee Ling from JC is getting married. Same age as me and getting married already. Makes me feel old...what the fock.

Glasgow is unlike cities like Paris and Rome and London where its very touristy, with loads of famous tourist attractions and all. Somehow, this is the first time I find myself having nothing to see when I'm in a foreign land. But nevertheless, I'm enjoying the weather, walking around, eating, sleeping and just relaxing. No hussle and bustle of the usual travelling which I am anticipating once I meet up with the FAGs and the BAG, since the places we're headed for probably have loads to see. Although not a great place for tourists, I hear its great for students. My other friend, Zhi Hui, who's here on exchange tells me its super relaxed, exams are a piece of cake, discounts galore for students at many pubs and restaurants, and great nightlife. So, if you're into Medicine, Glasgow University is quite reknown, otherwise, Strathclyde Uni is also known for its Naval Architectural course. Both are city unis and the hostels are all in the city. Good international community of students as well.

Observation note: Haven't seen any hot Asian chicks here. Downside for us Asian guys coming here to study. Not too many hot Scottish chicks seen as well, yet. Downside for guys staying here.

Had a tea at a Scottish tea house today. I think I am not a tea person. Tried Cammomile tea and I didn't like it. I thought that since its one of the more popular ones, I couldn't go wrong. But somehow, I didn't seem to like it. Maybe its one of those acquired tastes. Tried Earl Grey before at Coffee Club and didn't take to it either. In contrast, the English love their English tea with scones and all. Think I shall just stick to my 'teh ping', green tea and bubble tea. I tried ginger bread too, just for the sake of getting into the English tea time mood. I'll show you my ginger bread pics when I can up load it. For now, I can't upload any since I didn't bring the cable along with me. Anyway I don't think public terminals allow pple to install hardware or save stuff on the harddisk either. Wait till I finish my memory cards, then I go burn into a CD, then can upload. For now, be patient 'hahaha'. Btw, do I know you hahaha?

Finished checking out most of the places of interests here already. Tomorrow I will be headed to Edinburgh for 2 days, of which 1 day will be spent in the exam hall with my dreaded CFA paper.

Random fact: My friend's Spanish flatmate is called Blanca. When I first heard the name, I only thought of the green creature in Street Fighter. When I saw Blanca, well, somehow I seemed to see some resemblance, especially with the frizzy hair. However, she's nice. She got me a mattress to save my back from the floor.

Random fact 2: Scottish slang for sleeping with someone, is Bonk. Eg. Alex went to a pub, met a chick, and bonked her that night.

Shall stop here. Guess its easier to write when you have pics to show. But then again, nothing exciting is happening yet. Feeling really laid back over here. I spend alot of time nua-ing as well.

Europe

2005-06-02T00:02:00.000+08:00

This is the Mingmongster reporting live from Glasgow.

Day 1 of my trip was a gruelling 25 hour trip from Singapore to Glasgow. 13 hour flight to Heathrow, then I had to wait 10 hours for my domestic flight into Glasgow. There was an earlier flight but I decided not to risk missing the flight in case there was a jam on route to Stansted airport from Heathrow.

Anyway, the flight to Heathrow was surprisingly fast. I slept through most of it. Watched a movie too. Survived the whole ride without any puking though, which is most important. However, I had these 2 passengers beside me across the aisle who took off their shoes onboard. Bloody hell their feet smelt bad. In contrast, the 2 gals beside me were quiet gals who slept most of the way. Didn't disturb my sleep by going to the toilet either. Anyway, I also discovered this time that the other reason why I puke is because of the change in air pressure which somehow causes my stomach to produce alot of gas.

Spent my first pound once I stepped out of the immigration. 20 pounds for the bus to Stansted airport. Bloody hell. Got to Stansted at 930 am. Flight was at 450pm. Tried to change to an earlier flight but then it would have cost me a bomb. Decided to stick it out in the airport. Bought myself a breakfast of scrambled eggs, sausage, beans and toast for 6 pounds. Sigh. Everything in Britain is irritatingly expensive. Each time, the price looks reasonable. But then, you remember that you need to multiply it by 3.

Rotted the time away in the airport by trying to study for CFA. Disgustingly boring. Got hungry and went looking for the cheapest food I could get. Settled for a sandwich for 1.65 pounds and got a super deal of 2 bottles of coke for 1.29 pounds. ha. Had to get myself into the mood of the budget traveller. Anyhow, I finally reached Glasgow safely.

Today the weather is freezing, and on top of that, its raining. To make it worse, my friend decides to take me on a walk down Glasgow to West End, in the rain. As I am more prepared for the summer weather I am expecting as I go further south later on in the month, the thickest clothing I have with me is my windbreaker. Therefore, I had to battle the blistering cold as we walked in the rain. Best of all, she 'holland' while looking for this cheap and good italian place to have our lunch. Cold, hungry, wet and worst of all, wet in the shoes, we walked and walked. No map, and she decides to walk by instinct. Next time, I think I will have to bring a map and do the navigation.

Nothing much happening yet. Surprisingly not jet lagged. Sleeping on the hard floor last night seemed to be good enough to recover from that long journey here.

Anyhow, just signing in since I have the chance to. Will be back again.

Flying

2005-05-30T18:59:00.000+08:00

The day has finally come. I will be flying off in 5 hours. A disgustingly long 13hr flight awaits me. Once again, I still am unable to get those front row seats where no one sits in front of you. Its really irritating to see short-farts taking those seats when tall people like me are the ones who really need the leg room. Got myself an aisle seat, but hopefully those sitting beside me will not have a running tap under their pants and wake me up from my slumber.

Flying has always been a dreaded affair since I was young. It all began when I was probably 4 when I took my first plane ride to Penang. All I remember from that trip was having a pain in my ears, and puking for the rest of the day. Don't remember anything else about that trip at all. Then came my next ride when I was 9. I was fooling around with other children in the tour group on the plane, and soon I realised I was giddy, and some serious stomach hurling followed, all the way to the hotel in Perth. And since then, travelling has become a chore, especially long haul flights, which was much longer in the past when aviation technology was inferior. A trip to Los Angeles took me 20 hours with a transit in Tokyo. That was pure hell for an 10 year old boy plagued with air-sickness.

What's interesting about this "sickness" of mine is that it is not motion induced. Its evident since I already start feeling queezy and sometimes even puke before the plane even takes off. After years of mental and physical torment, I sniffed out the cause of my human-to-merlion transformation. I attribute it to the smell of brewing coffee in the cabin. I don't get affected by the smell of coffee on land, but somehow, the smell of coffee in the airplane is just different.

So anyway, I finally got over my spewing spells once I hit 18. Realised it when I started frequent trips overseas after a 4 year hiatus. Managed to get through most of my flights since then unscathed, barring a few times where I just retched to make myself feel better. Although I have not suffered serious bouts of violent heaving in a long time, I still feel the pre-flight gitters, fearing a relapse. Barfing is definitely not on my favourites list. Which is prolly why I decided that getting piss drunk is dumb. Hopefully, this time I will be fine again.

This is just one of those quirky traits of the mingmongster. Another would be my abhorrence for Bee Hoon, which is another story altogether.

Anyway, as a preventive measure, I always try to sleep most of the journey on the plane. Neither do I eat much of the food they serve on board. Neither do I go to the toilet much. And only when I feel good inside, I will stay up to watch the movies. Therefore, I think I am the perfect customer for the airliners. Unlike Alex, who shamelessly proclaimed that he drinks as much as he can on his flights. Stewardesses loathe him for constantly pressing the call button. Passengers shun him for his drunken stupor. Airliners wish they have less of him on their flights. The only time I think he fits in well with the other passengers is when he flies to/from India. I hear the Indians are alcohol guzzlers on board. Probably because its free.

Personally, I don't maximize my air fare in the same way. The only time I make the stewardesses work for me is when I hand them my stomach juice filled air sickness bags to dispose of. I've always wondered what they do with it. Do they chuck it down the toilet bowl? Which reminds me of another thing I've always wondered about. Do they store the shit and pee in the plane while its in the air? Or do they release it sometime during the flight? If they do release it, I suppose its over the sea, since we don't ever see shit/pee falling from the sky. Only things that fall from the sky are: rain, dead birds, planes (choy! lucky I'm typing on a wooden table), and mangoes.

Funnily, as much as I hate flying, I love travelling. I hope that someday, someone will invent a teleport machine.

Anyway, as I type this, I am talking to Winnie, not the Pooh.
She's telling me the type of guy she is attracted to...

Winnie: I like someone with ambition and determination, knows what he wants and how to get there and is doing something about it.

What it really means...
Winnie likes someone who will have a good career and earn big bucks, so that she can sit at home and be a tai tai and shake leg and spend all his money.

Winnie: I like someone who can communicate with me, and I can be quite extreme in temperament, so he has to take it.

What it really means...
Winnie likes someone whom she can bully. Keeping quiet and not complaining when being bullied constitutes being able to communicate with Winnie.

Winnie: I like someone who can be fun, and boring at times too, cos I can be very boring. I just wanna stay home and read my book.

What it really means...
Winnie is a boring girl. She likes nerds who only stay home and read books with her.

She just had a recent Hong Kong trip with frens. She was with 2 couples and a single guy.
On that single guy, whom she denies having any romance blossoming during the trip...

Winnie: I believe in attraction. For that other guy on the trip, there wasn't any.

What it really means...
The other guy on the trip is butt ugly, thus Winnie was not attracted to him.

Sometimes, its really easy to decipher what girls really mean. Heh.

Alrites, time to rest and prepare to check in. Maybe I'll blog when I can when I'm over there. If lucky, maybe can upload photos.

Mingmongster, Out.

Dive Trip

2005-05-26T18:59:00.000+08:00

I'm back from the dive trip to Tioman. Finally, I've completed my open water course after a 2 year wait. Hopefully I will get to do my advance soon.

Anyway, grouchy dive instructor aside, the trip was not too bad. The trip there was bloody long. Took a 3 hr bus ride and a 3 hour boat ride. Arrived in Tioman at 12 midnight. Paying $360 for a open water course plus meals, accomodation, equipment rental and transport, I thought it was a real steal. Even my Dad found it unbelievably cheap. I was told we would be staying at a resort with aircon and attached toilets. I think if you were to go to Tioman for a 4 day holiday and stay at a resort, you would pay about that price or even more, but less the diving. However, I guess I had high expectations because the resort was not really a "resort". Although its called Salang Resort, its more like a chalet type accomodation. Quite shabby but at least there was aircon and a toilet. I'm not too fussy about sleeping around anyway (alternative meaning does not apply here).

So after the neverending boat ride to the island, I was dead tired and waiting out side the resort for our room keys when I was bolted out of my weary daze by bombs raining down on us. Looking up to the sky, I realised we were standing below a mango tree. And every few minutes, a mango would drop. One mango hit a girl. Ha. It was practically raining mangoes.

Anyway, I had the privilege to sleep with the NTU dive comm since I kinda knew most of them and I went alone, so I got to sleep in a twin room while the other pple shared quads. However, my twin became a triplet because we had some room shuffling among us and stuff, and this other guy had to come sleep with me and my roomie cos his original roomie wants the room with his friend (girl). Great. So put 2 twin beds together and sleep 3 guys on it. Rule was: smallest guy sleeps in the hole in the middle since less weight means less likely to push the beds apart and fall into the hole. Fortunately, I am born big (alternative pun intended). Ha.

So the next morning we went out for our dives. First day was all training dives so wasn't much fun and little stuff to see cos it was all the training sites. Was quite nervous at first about descending down into the sea cos I was afraid of not being able to equalise since I have a little sinus problem. Nevertheless, found it surprisingly easy to equalise and after 2 dives, I was at ease underwater.

One major problem I had, and some others too, was that it was bloody cold underwater. Especially during the training dives where we have to just stay at one spot and do all those drills and wait while the instructor checks on the others. So without much movement, less heat produced in the body and I started shivering. And its really wonderful how the human body naturally protects itself with homeostasis. Everyone shivers when we're cold. A natural reflex to help generate some heat through these muscular contractions. But, we also pee more when we're cold. And this is definitely the one that I love most! Let me explain...

A wet suit keeps u warm underwater by trapping a thin film of water between your body and the wet suit. If the wet suit is too loose or overstretched, the water in the suit will move in and out more freely and thus heat will be conducted away by the water quickly. So, now this comes back to my previous point. When I was cold underwater, I peed. Unlike peeing in swimming pools where it probably just flows out of your trunks into the pool for others to enjoy/drink etc, peeing in your wet suit is different. The pee probably gets trapped in your wet suit. Disgusting as it may sound, you are practically soaked in your own pee. However, when you're cold and shivering underwater and waiting for you instructor to settle the slow bah kahs' drills, you would relish as much pee as you can get man! The gush of warm pee moving up your body through your wet suit, oh my god, is as good as sipping hot tea in winter. And somehow, I think my body knew I loved it cos I peed quite a few times each dive. Ha. My dive buddy didn't seem to like the idea of swimming in her pee. But after a few dives, she succumbed to the cold. Ha.

Gross stuff aside, my PMS instructor was awfully sweet during the trip. Never scold, suan, scream etc. Think she was kinda restraining herself cos I think the dive comm pple did talk to the instructors about not being too strict. Oh well, my instructor being sweet was a little awkward, but so long as she doesn't keep biting my head off, I'm fine.

Visibility was quite poor at most of the dive sites. Didn't really see many exotic marine life as I hoped for. I guess apart from the usual fish we expect to see, only the turtles, the Giant Garoupa and a few big bum-head parrot fish are the more memorable ones. I think the Nemos are the cutest fish in the see. Watching them play among the anemonaes is a joy to watch. Other not so memorable stuff were getting stung by a small jelly fish, and descending into a "mine field" on the seabed. I hear that if you get stung by jellyfish, you have to pee on the wound cos the ammonia somehow cures the sting or something. I didn't bother though, even though the rest of my body was covered in pee, but the thought of peeing directly on my arm... NAH! I pity anyone who gets stung on the face by a jellyfish. Or maybe the lips would be worse.

In another dive, we descended onto a "mine field" of sea urchins. The seabed was filled with those black spikey creatures. Had to watch where we stepped while clearing the area to allow us to kneel down for the drills. And while watching those black balls of spikes, I realised why I was so disgusted by the sight of it. They resembled spiders, my worst nemesis. I hate spiders by the way. Not small ones, huge ones, partly cos my house used to have frequent visits by huge spiders when I was young. A forrest used to stand opposite my house where Selarang Camp now stands.

Also, I had this Bah kah in my group. He's a weak swimmer, so I guess he's not too comfortable in the water. So I shan't fault him for that. Also won't fault him for being an oxygen guzzler, since if he's uncomfortable in water, he breathes more heavily and quickly. But, other than that, he gets a little irritating in the water. Once, I think he was quite kan cheong and din want to lose sight of the instructor, so he finned forward to get closer. He came past me and pushed me aside. WTF! Nevermind, give chance. Then I stay right at the back, so I won't get caught in the crowd trying to follow the instructor, then I get kicked in the face by his flippers. WTF! Nevermind, give chance. Then in one dive, he disappeared halfway. Alamak. Then as a protocol, the instructor will have to ascend to look for him. And since instructor goes up, we all have to go up too. Haiz. But I guess I was luckier. Another guy got "attacked by the KC spider (Kan Cheong Spider). Dunno why he suddenly panic underwater, the he wanted to grab on to something. And the nearest thing he could grab, was this other guy's regulator. I think that guy also panic sia. Someone trying to yank his regulator out of his mouth. Haha.

So basically, was a good experience but didn't see as much as I hoped for. The final night we had a BBQ, and of course beer. And that was when I was hit by a mango. Luckily not on the head, but on the shoulder, just missed my head by a bit. Karma for gloating at the girl on the first night who got hit. Anyway, we figured why the mangoes were raining down from the tree. We suspect that its the work of this monkey that roams around the trees in the area. Must be plucking the mangoes and throwing them at us.

Reminds me of another irritating kampong animal. The bloody rooster. CB, the first night we slept so late and the next morning had to get up at 630 for early morning dive. I think I only fell asleep at 4 because the bed was uncomfortable and 3 guys on 2 beds is not exactly that spacious. Then just as I slipped into my slumber, this bloody rooster started crowing at 530am. Non-stop. Moron, the sun wasn't even up!

Then after the 2nd night, the girls next door and my dive buddy found their bikini bottoms missing after they hung it outside to dry at night. Definitely got stolen by some pervert. haha. Boy were they pissed. Wonder why the hell people steal such stuff for. Prepare for the premiere of Batman Begins? On a grosser note, maybe they want to experience the scent of a woman. But then, guess the pervert must have been disappointed cos I bet it only smelt of seawater, or pee. Muahaha.

Some final notes: I am happy Liverfool won the CL. Though I am not a fan, and used to not like them since I am a MU fan, but now I think Arse and Liverfool are all good for me. The Arses play nice football, and the Liverfools have a great coach and are starting to look like they are playing real football. Its a pity they were plagues with so many injuries this season. I reckon they will be a force to be reckoned with next season. Common enemy now is Chelsea. Especially MORONho. American Idol. Waiting for the results show. I like Bo Bice, but sounds like Carrie is rigged to win it. Tomorrow is results day. Hopefully its good news. Got to go for another assessment for that job. Special case for me only, cos they wanna have a look at one component of my final assessment again. Guess its probably good news since its not an outright rejection but it sounds like they want me but just want to be sure about it cos I was overshadowed by an experienced trader in the trading simulation component. Finally, I will be flying off on Monday night with the Fags and the Bag. I realised FAG should be Four Accountancy Graduates and not Five. Because I don't wanna be a FAG. So it shall be Mingmong, the FAGS and the BAG. Effectively 2 days to study for CFA. Think I am gonna buang the exam. Sian.

Oh, I have been wondering...There are people that visit my humble blog that can't really identify. Like orange county and annoymous and annoymous and annoymous etc. Do I know you guys? Or have we never met?

Updates..

2005-05-21T13:51:00.000+08:00

Its been a while since I wrote something. Well, my school exams were over 2 weeks ago. Been kinda busy since then. Having dive lessons, interviews for my dream job which I hope I'll get, meeting up with the eurotrip guys, clearing out my hostel room, playing mahjong, and least of all studying for my CFA. On top of that, I don't have an internet connection to my own computer because I've yet to buy a network cable long enough so sitting down at the comp is not something I do at home, unlike in hall where I practically sit in front of the comp the whole day.

I've recently set a personal best for mahjong. I lost $100 in a night in 3 rounds playing 20/40. Amazing as it sounds, yes I did it. Courtesy of 2 paos max and further outflows of chips to big wins by wilSHEN and Huijing. $100...I wonder who can ever break my record man. Sounds more like the stakes were 50/1 or something. I don't know why I keep playing despite being raped by serial rapist Huijing all the time. Maybe I am just waiting for a day where it will become my turn to rape her over and over again. But for now, Teckie and I and Alex are all victims of her insatiable desire to suck us dry.

In other news, I've finally learnt how to breathe underwater. Although the lessons were just in a 2 metre deep pool, come monday I'll be heading to Tioman to find Nemo. Apart from getting screwed over by my female instructor, it was not bad so far. The instructor I got has a real attitude. First day I arrived late at 10am and the first thing she said to me was "You're late! Its supposed to start at 9am!". I said, "Oh sorry, but I thought its 930". She said "Even so, you're still late". I was like WTF?! I am paying to dive and not paying you to scold me. Nevermind, I tiam tiam. Then when getting ready the equipment, I dumped my fins on the floor. Dumped = dropped its rather than squat down to place it gently on the floor like its a vase. Then immediately she said to everyone, "guys, I hope you treat your equipment with care since you're renting it. Especially your fins, they can break also. There was one guy who broke the fins he rented by dropping it on the boat, and it was brand new even". While saying that, she stole a few menacing glances at me through the corner of her eye. I was like WTF!??! Nevermind, I tiam tiam. Then when I came home, I checked my email. There was an email from the dive centre reminding us of the lesson the next day. I read it and went WTF?!?!. This was part of what it said...

"Please remember that tomorrow's lesson is at 10am. We have a very serious problem of punctuality among the group of you. Some of you were even as late as 1 hour today."

Even when I got home, she wouldn't let it go. WTF!?!? I hope she gets poked in the ass by a swordfish one day.

Finally moved out of my hostel. Almost broke my back in the process. Shifting big heavy stuff down 3 levels. Thankfully Alex volunteer some help. He got his dad's company pickup and helped move all the bulky stuff home for me. Saved me the time, money and trouble renting a van or smtg. Furthermore, he helped a little with loading the pickup. And, as he said, I have a highly qualified driver, a Graduate Ahmad. The pickup is munual, and I haven't worked a stick since I got my license. Anyway, to reward him for his services, we had dinner at Fisherman's Village and I paid. Apart from the $20 jug of heiniken, the $50 hawker food was a rip off. Think the prices at fisherman's village is absurd. And it doesn't even taste that good. But oh well, rather than renting a van for the about the same amount, rather spend it on food and beer. Now that all the stuff is home, its just piled up at one corner. Gotta redesign and furnish my room now that I've returned home after 5 years of not staying home.

Just as I was almost resigned to entering the audit death knell, a lifeline was thrown at me out of the blue. Been interviewing for this job which seems like the perfect job for me. Never expected to get into the final round, but somehow it all just happened, and what started out as a go for fun thing became something which I really want. Getting this job will probably change my life in the future man. Well, but I guess if I don't get it, I can be proud of the fact that I'm the remaining 20 out of abt 1500 applicants from Singapore and China. They flew 10 China pple down here to stay in Mandarin for 3 nights btw. And added perks I had for the final round of 2 day interviews? 1 8 course dinner at Mandarin, and 1 lunch at the Top of the M. The revolving thing does make u dizzy. Ha.

Yesterday, I met up with the Eurotrip guys to change money and finalise our plans. I call ourselves, The FAGs with a BAG. This means: The Five Accountancy Graduates with a Biz Ad Graduate. Had the most embarassing time yesterday while changing money. Alex wanted to get the BEST exchange rates so we had to go down to Arab Street. Just nice, we were just opposite Zam Zams and I brought them there for the best mutarbak you can have in Singapore. They all agreed. Anyway, we changed like about 8000 worth of money. Suddenly we realised we were shortchanged. We suspected that the uncle hid $50 away secretly while we weren't looking and then told us we gave him $50 less. We argued with the uncle for like half an hour or something while trying to figure out whether he's trying to cheat us or we miscounted or something. We were certain we gave him the correct amount and he was indeed trying to cheat us. Finally, he wanted to close his shop cos it was way past his closing time already (becos of us). So he said he will go do his accounts and if he finds an extra $50, he'll call us. We had no choice but to accept it and accept the fact that we were cheated. Just as we were counting our euro currencies and about to leave, I asked Gary, "how much Swiss Francs did you change?" Gary said, "oh shit, I didn't give $100 for Swiss Francs yet. I just gave for the Euros I wanted to change." -_-
Wah liew, damn paiseh man. Had to say sorry to the uncles at the shop for accusing them of cheating us and holding them up and all. Bloody hell. Gary, future banker, making such a grave mistake. I forsee the headlines, "HSBC banker withholds cash negligently in forex trading payments, leading to billions in losses". And if you were wondering, if Gary din give $100, and we were $50 short, why is there an extra $50? Well, we figured that the only way for that to happen is for ALEX, who did the final count and handed over the money, gave him $50 less. ALEX, future auditor and potential trader/banker, make this kinda mistake. I forsee the headlines, "Auditor negligent in cash reconciliation causes Deloitte & Touche billions in legal fees".

Anyway, we'll be bringing a small set to Europe to help kill time and also maybe introduce the game to the Europeans. Ha. Word has it that Lady Jing plans to play a round before each meal/before getting the bill.

On a lighter note, its funny how people have been speculating about my love life. Friends, and family included. However, I'm sorry to declare that these are all groundless speculations. The recent months have been filled with relationship activitiy. Some have broken up while in 2 different countries, others have broken up after coming back from a country. Whats funny is that now the 2 separate individuals involved in those situations will be going to another country. Just pure coincidence and perfect timing maybe? On the other hand, some have gotten together, which has come as a shock to most people who were kept out of the loop. I still think that the exam period where people study together is the time when ALOT of people get involved or develop relationships. Proven time and again. However, in this camp, love activity has drawn a naught.

IN VIEW OF THE RECENT PUBLIC OUTRAGE OVER BLOGGERS BASHING GUYS/GIRLS OPENLY IN THEIR BLOGS, THE RISK AVERSE MINGMONGSTER HAS DECIDED THAT THIS PORTION OF THE POST BE DELETED IN CASE THE MINGMONGSTER HIMSELF GETS FEATURED ON THE NEWSPAPERS AS WELL.

HOWEVER, DIVE INSTRUCTOR BASHING HAS NOT CAUSED ANY DISSENT AMONG THE GENERAL POPULATION AND THUS MY DIVE INSTRUCTOR REMAINS BASHED ON THE MINGMONGSTER.

Ok, I think I've digressed immensely. Time to study a little. A $1500 investment is at stake.

Disclaimer: Nothing in this post is aimed at anyone, anything, any situation or any dive instuctor in particular. Don't sue me.

Amazing!

2005-05-03T01:26:00.000+08:00

This little boy really controls with his balls amazingly well!

http://www.jean-carlos-chera.com/

Partial freedom in 1 day.

Night @ Wala's

2005-05-01T19:02:00.000+08:00

Well, seems like there was some activity in my routine life recently. After the paper on Friday, I decided to take a break for the afternoon and watched Coach Carter on my comp. Good show. But I guess it only applies to me cos I have a thing for inspirational sports shows. For example, my all time favourite sports show was Remember the Titans. Coach Carter is not really as inspiring or moving, but the themes were different. Coach Carter's theme revolves around discipline and being that all-rounded individual in both sports and studies. Though its the same old predictable storyline about how a losing team gets transformed into a winning team, but this is the kinda show that I somehow take to.

Anyway, I did plan to resume studying that night but then Alex decided to play the devil's advocate and asked me and his gf at Wala's. Trying hard not to succumb to temptation, I rejected him. However, I soon discovered that Pingpong, Ryan, Jane and gang were all heading down there too cos they finished their last paper already. Since Ryan was coming to pick Pingpong from hall (hmmm...dubious), I decided to take the free ride and go down too. Later I also found out that some of my buds were also going! Wonder why everyone had the same inkling that day, but the more the merrier!

Sat with the "exam-over" gang for a while as they had their dinner before I went over to join Alex at Wala's. I don't know whether it was the weather that night, or just the pressence of certain people at the table, but it was really quite hot. I think its probably because of the 2 hottest people in NBS sitting at the table with us. One of whom was our April Hunk, Leon and the supposed April Babe Jane (who was unfortunately replaced by Fiona because she showed me her open fly).

Ryan was feeling so hot he had to go to 7-11 to get some air-con. We couldn't get a seat inside the restaurant also and that made it worse.

While everyone else was feeling hot, Kailin remained oblivious to the heat because there were more important matters bothering her: her stomach.

Anyway, I went over to Wala's to join Alex. Got myself some meatballs (good stuff!) and Wala's wings (even better stuff!) and some Boddingtons. Basket, Alex is getting from bad to worse. His PDA is getting too much for me to handle. Next time I will think twice about being alone with him and Fiona.

EIC plays at Wala's on Friday nights. They're really good I must say. Only reason why I would go Wala's considering the steep beer prices.

My buds came along late and Alex left a while after they came. Saved me from more graphic displays of affection.

Great night out with the guys and good way to relax after studying for so long.

I think Kim Liang is really changing. Though he is changing for the good, but sometimes I think he's also getting a bit crazy. I mean, sometimes the way he acts/looks, you'd jus know he's becoming a moron by just looking at him.

Its back to the same routine again now.

I've learnt something today: I should not assume things. When Eu Ming assumes, he is an ass.
Why? Because he is ASS-EUMING.

p/s. Realised I wrote wrongly in one of the pics above. Supposed to be "Whose" not "Who's". Lazy to change.

STRESSED.

2005-04-28T23:14:00.000+08:00

Dear Readers,

Please come back in 1 weeks time because the Mingmongster is currently experiencing high levels of exam stress. His brain is currently saturated with auditing concepts and his life is a monotonous "sleep-wake-study-sleep" routine. Therefore, since there is practically nothing else interesting that's happening in his life, he has nothing more to report after the previous post.

So come back in about a weeks time and I should have something up again! Studying sucks.

The worst part: after my last exam in NTU, still got CFA. Kaoz.

A Typical Mugging Day.

2005-04-21T02:30:00.000+08:00

Its been almost 2 weeks of studying already, and I have only finished my first paper on Monday, while others like Ryan are officially graduates. To further exacerbate this torment of seeing more and more people disappearing from the seminar rooms, the end is still barely in sight with another 2 more weeks to go. Fortunately, its just another 2 papers. Unfortunately, they are not 2 simple papers.

A typical day studying at the seminar rooms does not only involve hardcore mugging, especially when you're in a group. Here's a sneak peek into a typical day in the life of a mugging undergraduate...

Studying for me begins usually after lunch, partly because I love to sleep. After a heary meal, I need to let my stomach settle first before I hit the books so I spend some time on the newspapers. When the blood finally decides to move back up to my brain from my stomach, I'll bring out the books start work.

Some people like to study with music, others like me don't (it distracts me). Some people study with their galfriends/boyfriends, others like me don't (not an option for me).

Some couples like Lydia and Teck Wee study side-by-side....

But they keep their levels of PDA to a minimum. PDA = Public Display of Affection.

However, for Teck & Lyd's case, they are more reputed for excessive PDV, Public Display of Violence. The receiving party is of course none other than Teck. Well, who's to decide what's the best way of showing your love for your bf/gf? Some people make love, while others prefer SM (Sado-Masochism).

Conversely, Alex and Fiona prefer to be more intimate when studying...the (erotic) massages, the cuddling, sleeping on each other's laps....

Alex claims that it gives him that added "Omph" to the blood circulation to his head, allowing him to stay invigorated.

However, I wonder which "head" the blood actually flows to. Evidently, his daily dosage of intimacy has left him shagged out. Its the usual scenario, the guy falling asleep while the girl is left awake giggling to herself when she recollects those wonderful few seconds.

Alex, you should remember that girls need that customary cuddle!

While some couples study together, studying can also bring people together. Often you see groups of friends studying for exams together, then after the exams, you notice some of them have hooked up! Usually they try to keep it under wraps during the study period by sitting as far apart from each other....

But we all know that they are actually secretly beo-ing each other when they think no one is looking. They try hard to deny it, but sometimes, all the evidence justs corroborates our suspicions. For example, if a guy and a girl are both joining a couple for a holiday after the exams. Sure, its just a holiday with friends. Sure, the 2 guys will share a room while the 2 girls share the other. But, in substance, we all know that its a double date.

I couldn't get an shot of both of these 2 prospective lovebirds together, neither could I get a shot of You Chun (if you all remember I had a post specially for him recently). You Chun "The Hand" pinned me to the floor and groped my family jewels just to get my phone when he found out I took a picture of him sleeping. He deleted all the pictures I took of him. Oh well, I have no choice but to use whatever random pictures I have of the 2 of them and try piecing them together, see what they would look like as a couple....

Hmmm...somehow, I think You Chun's "Shotgun Reloading Hand" muscles wouldn't be getting any bigger anymore.

Alright, enough about study room romance. So, the afternoon progresses and we all study in silence, sometimes taking short breaks when someone starts talking or cracks a joke. But usually, we all are in deep concentration, just like me.

As the afternoon wears on, the words in your books/notes become the only lullaby that you can read to yourself. People start getting tired, weary, and sian. Some would take a toilet break, others just slip into slumber...

Also, some of us would get hungry and crave for some snacks and tea in the mid-afternoon. Sometimes, some would be equipped with their arsenal of chips and chocolates. When no one has any food, someone has to go get some. But, the question is...who?

Gaohan would suggest, "Brian, why don't you go get some food for us?"
Brian would reply, "why me?"
Gaohan would say, "because I am lazy."
Brian would reply, "I am lazy too. Your legs are longer, can walk faster, you go."

At this point, Gaohan would say his favourite phrase...

"F#$% You!"

Brian, obviously not liking that, would retaliate with his phletora of expletives which he learnt during his Ah Beng days...

"You don't F$%@ me, you 12345678 #$#%$^% ^%&^%&^*&R#$)

Gaohan is taken aback, he never expected such an backlash from Brian. He scrambles under his jacket to hide, shivering in fear.

Meanwhile, in the background, Clarise, Brian's gf pulls his ears for showing off his vulgarities.

When the coast was clear, Gaohan climbs out from under his jacket and resumes studying, with his stomach still growling, while Brian and Clarise refuse to look at each other.

Amid all this commotion, some people still remain unstirred...For example, some are so focused on their work that they remain oblivious to their surroundings.

While others are so focused on sleeping that they remain oblivious to their surroundings...

Sometimes, we also have "visitors" in the room. Well, technically we're the visitors since we use the Graduate seminar rooms to study, i.e. meant for MBA students only. Somehow, NTU seems to be catering the MBA program to more Chinese (note that I did not use some other term I used before because the papers slammed a PSC scholar for making racist comments in his blog) than Singaporeans. In fact, I think I only see 1 Singaporean MBA student.

Anyway, we are nice people, so we let them come in and join the party...
(this is not considered racist or communist or derogatory right?)

Anyway, when dinner time comes, we have to decide which kopitiam we will patronize for the day. With cars aplenty, we can go to any of the kopitiams around NTU. Most of the time, the gals like Lydia and Ashley wouldn't want to come along because they want to watch their 7pm chinese show on TCS 8 in the lounge. So, they ask us to "tapao" for them.

For example, Ashley might ask Brian, "can you buy 2 packets of hokkien mee for Lydia and I?"

Brian would go, "you think I what?! Your maid ah!"

Then, Brian catches the look on Clarise's face from the corner of his eye, and goes "Okok, 2 packets of hokkien mee."

After dinner, I need time for my food to settle and for my blood to return to my brain, so I play Yahoo Literati, my current favourite game. Alex on the other hand would resume his PDA with his gf to direct his bloodflow from his belly to his head.

Night studying begins. Same old routine again. Study, get tired/sian, rest, study, get tired/sian, go to toilet...

But this time, when I opened the door to go out, I was given a shock by this horrifying "Scary Movie Killer" outside the door!

Oh my, what a ghastly face...

Once we get sick of studying, we go home/back to hall to slack/blog etc.

So that's basically what happens on a typically mugging day of an undergrad.

New skin

2005-04-18T01:02:00.000+08:00

Finally! A new skin! Did this myself and being a HTML dummy, I quite proud of it! Ha. But, of course, most of you probably can tell that's its just a simple switching of pictures using the previous HTML code. Yes, it sounds easy, but still it takes effort! Had to resize the background so that it fits perfectly into the screen without having the page scroll down. Though the scroll is still there, but its minimal and heck, I have a paper tomorrow! Don't know if I am feeling too confident, studied too much of Political Econs that I'm sick of it, or just plain lazy. Whatever it is, this was a great way to keep my mind off the paper tomorrow and get myself tired enough so that I won't spend time tossing and turning in bed later.

Had this idea for a while already and finally got down to doing it. And what better time than the night before your first paper huh. If I get a C, serves me right. (hope not!)

Evidently, Stephen Chow is my idol. I love his movies. Especially those earlier shows he did. I once made it a point to collect all his comedies, but eventually I decided it was too expensive (that was in JC i think). Maybe I shall start finishing my collection.

I feel his shows are starting to lose its original slapstick humour. Kungfu Hustle was more special effects and fighting than his trademark lame slapstick, though he did include a little (the flying knives part). Maybe its because he is trying to break into the Western market now, thus the change in his shows. Nevertheless, he's still the King of Comedy. However, I think in Kungfu Hustle, the crazy woman (left) was the star.

Time for bed. Wish me luck for my first paper, which is Ryan's last. Rats.

The rise of new powers and the demise of the Great.

2005-04-17T03:18:00.000+08:00

In the past 2 weeks alone, there has been several shifts in powers around the world.

First, it was the demise of Pope John Paul II. The one and only pope known to a large proportion of Catholics, especially they younger generation. With the third longest pontificate in the history, he will definitely go down as one of the most remembered pope and face of the Catholic Church. His pressence also helped contributed to the end of Gorbachev's and Castro's communist rule. More amazingly, a mere 3 words from him, led to the liberation of Poland without spilling any blood. He survived an assasination and only to emerge with an act of stunning virtue: his forgiveness of his would-be assassin in his prison cell. Come Monday, the cardinals will gather in the Sistine Chapel to elect the next pontiff. Wonder if John Paul's successor will have as great as impact as he did.

Anyway, the Sistine Chapel is beautiful. Its walls and ceilings are covered with paintings by Michaelangelo.

This is on the main wall of the Sistine Chapel. Stretches all the way to the ceiling and corners. And trust me, the wall is HUGE. Its called "The Last Judgement" by Michaelangelo. Its really amazing how someone could actually cover the walls and the ceiling of the chapel with his paintings. Michaelangelo's famous "Creation of Man" is also found in the fresco ceiling of the chapel. Somehow, I feel that people of the past are more superior to modern man. We don't have such wonderful creations anymore. For example, I don't think the sculptures of Botero or Bourgeois are comparable to that of Michaelangelo or Donatello, bearing in mind that they didn't have high-tech tools in the past. Neither do I see the beauty in the so called "modern" art which sometimes requires nothing but a haphazard splashing of paint. It is the the Leonardos and Van Goghs that are drawing the crowds to museums. Although I couldn't see what's the fuss about the Mona Lisa, partly because there were too many people and they kept the queue moving, but Leonardo's other works are amazing. You have to see, to believe.

So, there goes the one Great man, with a new ruling power soon to to be elected.

Anyway, the picture of the Last Judgement is a poster on my room wall. Bought it from the Vatican.

Next, Monaco also has its own mourning to do with the passing of Prince Rainer. Famous for his wedding to Grace Kelly, but also expanding the principality's economy beyong its gambling base. Anyway, Monaco is a nice place, more for a day trip from Nice. Nice marina filled with yachts and the casino lined with ferraris, porsches and lambourghinis, though you need to pay to enter the damn casino.

So this also great monarch has gone, and his son Albert will succeed him. Prince Albert, though, I seriously doubt his capacity to succeed his lofty father.

Finally, the one closest to my heart. The downfall, or impending downfall of a dynasty in the local schools rugby scene. ACS(I) was once again defeated at the hands of the Saints in the B Division for the second year (at least its not the green Waffles who beat us). Anyway, Saints used to be the powerhouse of rugby when the game was first included as an inter-school sport. They ruled for years till they were overthrown by the green Waffles. The Saints have this song that their supporters always sing. "Oh when the saints, go marching in....". I guess when Waffles beat them repeatedly in the past, Saints were really marching... into the dumps. Then Waffles ruled the rugby schools fraternity for the another long period.

However, in 1994, someone in the land of red, blue and gold decided to do something. The green Waffles had to be stopped! So this burly rugby coach cum Lit teacher, came knocking on every sec 1 classroom one fine day, and pulled many innocent young boys out of their classrooms. They had their names taken down, and were asked to report for a TRIAL. Among those picked was a nerdy top student called Mingmong. heh.

Anyway, shall cut the story short, but one day I will do a story on us huh guys. Wait till I get my hands on some pics of you all.

So this team went on to win the C Div title, and the B Div title (the first in 34 years) for ACS(I). We were A students, but still we pushed aside all self-interests to go to ACJC as a team, and complete our collection of titles with the A Div title. Since our team, ACS(I) has went on to win both C and B titles for years. So did the ACJC dudes.

But now, AC's dominance as the rugby power house of the decade has been broken. Seems like the gauntlet is going back to Saints. Their rise to ascendency has finally come. Hopefully its not for long.

Sigh.

The most deadly F

2005-04-15T00:37:00.000+08:00

Since 1950, there was only 1 F known to most people. And that is F1, Formula One racing. It was a mean sport where men raced their lives away at breakneck speeds, just to finish at the podium to spray champagne at the race queens. Some rise to fame, as have Schumacher and Lauda, however, others are not so lucky and are killed, injured or comatose as a result. Thus, for most of the 20th century, the first and only F known to most people was F1 racing. This F was indeed something which is not for the faint-hearted, and only the brave will be part of it. Kudos to the F1 racers. You guys are the meanest! This F can definitely kill if you don't hit the brakes well.

Other than the F1 racers, you have the F3 fighter pilots, who also make up another group of macho men. They fly faster than the F1 pilots, and at high altitudes even. They sometimes have to go bomb some terrorists, or do spectacular stunts at air shows etc. Need I say more, they are definitely a bunch of mean dudes. Yet another F that certainly could kill.

Then, a few years ago, Taiwan decided that they too wanted to have an F too. They came up with F4. One would expect that the higher the number, the more dangerous it would be. And yes this theory is definitely correct! This F4 group of 4 blokes tinker with death in such a way that is beyond fathom! F1 racers play with speed. F3 pilots fool around with speed, altitude and war. F4 does the unimaginable. They sing among meteors. Actually, the meteors are not the scariest thing they mess around with. Its the "mountain vegetable" that some of them have to handle. Totally horrifying.

Ok that's that. Today's papers alerted us to a new F. The most deadly one of them all I feel. Its the F2N2 influenza virus. It killed almost 4 million people in the 1957 pandemic. Now that's deadly. Apparently, the WHO actually sent it to many labs around the world as part of their educational package. Now, labs around the world are rushing to destroy this virus. This is scary! What if some mad scientist decides to use it and threaten the world?! This is bad.

So which is the most deadly F of the lot? I would say F2N2.

For example, say the best F1 racer tries to mess around with F2N2...

Or, given the hunky F4 can frolic in a meteor garden, they can just try sniffing some F2N2...

The point is, the labs better destroy all of it and not let it get into the wrong hands. Otherwise...
I quote Russel Peters, "Somebody is gonna get a hurt real soon!".

Petals around the Rose

2005-04-14T00:41:00.000+08:00

Just when the exams are round the corner, and you're feeling unconfident of your intellectual abilities, here's a test to prove you right, or wrong! Ha. Well, seems like my brain is still working well.

Try this. Petals around the Rose.

I got it in 2 tries. Heh.

I know someone who got it in one try though, Daphne Teo's bf, cos I got this from her blog.

Good aunties, bad aunties

2005-04-13T01:53:00.000+08:00

Last Saturday, the day I got piss drunk, on the way home from hall, I stopped by NTUC at Jurong Point to get some wine to bring to my friend's place. I was browsing around the pathetic variety of wine at the wine section was having a hard time deciding what to get. Then I noticed board describing the various types of wine etc. So I took some time to read what they had to say. They mentioned the Cab. Sav., Merlot, Shiraz, Bordeaux, etc.

So there I was, with my earphones in my ears, listening to Michael Jackson's "Beat It" (well, his pedophiliac ways certainly did help create some publicity for him), and getting myself immersed in reading about wines, when I heard a whisper in my ears. I thought it was the music playing tricks on my me. But the next moment I felt a pressence beside me. I looked down from the board and turned to my left. Got taken aback by the sight of a curly brown haired Auntie with luscious red lipstick and heavily powdered face. She was gesturing to her face and saying something which I couldn't quite hear because Michael was saying "just beat it" quite loudly.

I took out my earphones and said "HAR?!".

Auntie who looks like a mamasan says, "Xiao di, ni yao bu yao mai cream lai zhi ni de pimple scar?" (translated in English: Ah boy, do you want to buy cream to cure your pimple scar?)

I stared at her for a moment. I rolled my eyes. Stuffed my earphones back into my ears. Turned to the wine board and gave her the hand sign that says... Beat It!

This is one of the things which gets to me sometimes, and I don't understand why these cosmetic companies actually hire such Aunties to promote their products. Somehow this seems to happen to me a lot. In another recent instance in JP Guardian. I went in just to get myself a face wash. So I was looking around the shelves for the Garnier one I use. Then I was attacked by this Auntie.

Auntie: Xiao di, ni zai zhao se me? (Ah boy, what are you looking for?)
Me: Face wash.
Auntie: Yao bu yao wo jie shao yi ge gei ni? Hen hao de! You xiao xiao li de dong xi zai li mian......(basically, she said why not I introduce you a good one. There's microbeads inside to help you wash away the dirt and blah blah blah. When I asked how much, she said $25. WTH!)

So I just said no thanks, and continued looking. Just as I took 3 steps to the next shelf, I was attacked by another Auntie. This time, the new auntie said (in chinese but I shall translate), "ah boy, you want to try a pimple cream?"

Wah, I couldn't believe the just won't leave me alone. I just need a face wash! I found what I wanted, paid and quickly made my way out of the shop. As I was heading for the exit, I noticed another auntie. She was selling slimming products. I siam-ed to the other side of the exit.

How can anyone sell something when the first thing that comes out of her mouth is a direct shot at your face? I mean, I know I have "a few" pimple scars, but don't need to tell me in the face mah! Wonder if they actually sell any with the marketing skills they have.

On Sunday night, while I was waiting for a bus home, I was at this dark bus stop at Bedok. Was just sitting there waiting for my bus when I noticed a fat cockroach crawling on the floor. It crawled nearer and nearer me. Then it stopped about a meter in front of where I sat. And faced me. I looked at it, and thought to myself, "Fuck off!". Well, I was didn't really expect the cockroach to be able to read human minds. Well, apparently they do. And they listen to what you tell them to do too.

The bloody cockroach opened its wings and flew straight at my face. Luckily I reacted quickly, and I jumped out of my seat. I turned and looked behind and it was no where to be seen. Then, I heard someone call out to me from behind. It was an auntie.

Auntie (whispers as though she's afraid of something) : "Boy, its on your back..."

I froze.

Then I jumped and took a swipe at my back. Felt nothing.

Then came this young and quite pretty girl from behind, used her purse and too a swipe at my back. Felt something crawl up my hair! I didn't dare move. She took another swipe and I saw the cockroach fall to the ground.

I turned around and thanked the pretty lady. Then the auntie who was hiding behind, walked up and said to the girl in awe, "wahh, you not scared ah?"

Actually, there is no point in this post. Just talking crap while waiting for the Bayern-Chelsea match to start, which has started incidentally.

Hangover

2005-04-12T01:40:00.000+08:00

Exams coming. Weekend. Study? No.

Saturday night. Got dead drunk. Worst ever in fact. Think its because I haven't been drinking/clubbing for quite some time, so my alcohol tolerance went down. But, then again drinking 5 bottles of wine between 4 people, think that's not too little either. After 4 bottles, my dear friend KO-ed. He spent some time in the toilet being our reknown Singapore landmark....

Just a point to note, never be the first one to go down when drinking in a group. Because the poor soul who goes down first, usually gets the worst things done to him by those who are still sober. Eg, drawing the body/face with a marker, stripping, taking nude photos...etc

After he went down, the remaining 3 of us opened the 5th bottle. Think that was what killed me. Had to down 2 glasses at 1 go. After that, the world started spinning. Tried to walk it off, but well, when it gets to ur head, there's no escaping it anymore. So, it was my turn to visit the toilet, and I just plopped down on the sofa and slept. Throughout the night, I had regular visits to the toilet and it was pure misery. I hate puking btw. In the morning, I had to get up at 730am to send the car back home for my dad. And, driving back was tough man. I was still feeling the effects of the alcohol on my brain. But, I still managed to get back in one piece and plopped right back into bed. Oh, visited the toilet again before I slept. Gonna expect some nagging from my mommy for drink driving. She didn't know about it but now she will. But too bad Mom! I won't be home till after exams! Muahahahaha!

Anyway, I had to get up at noon because I had a pre-arranged date. Had to force myself out of bed, spend some time in the toilet heaving again. At that point, nothing much was coming out already, but I just had to do it. Pure torture and suffering. I really wonder why I subject myself to such misery. From that moment, I decided to stay away from excessive drinking. Forever!

If only there was a "morning-after" pill to cure hangovers man. In fact, I think I am still feeling the after effects of that night. Still feel a little giddy in the head.

Anyway, for that pre-arranged date, I went to watch Boeing Boeing, a local production by W!ld Rice. I highly recommend it to everyone. Its the best local play I've watched so far. Basically, its about this dude (Lim Yu Beng) who has 3 girlfriends who are all air stewardesses. One Singaporean, one Honkie and one Japanese. The 3 girls were really hilarious, especially their various accents. If you thought Russel Peters was funny, they are even funnier!!! Not to mention the Filipino maid character also. So, to those who are damn free, or wanna take a break from studying, go watch Boeing Boeing. They run till the end of this month, so DO NOT MISS IT! You can pay about $45 to get the best seats in the Stall, but if you don't wanna spend too much, you can always get the cheaper Circle seats. But, its worth every cent. Its great for a date, and also great to watch with friends. Watch it!

Anyway, just to update, the winner of this year's Cleo's 50 most EB is none other than Brendon Lim. Well, I guess the theory is once again proven. The winner is always on the cover of the magazine. So its all bullshit when they say the winner got the most votes cos its all predetermined, aka Kelong. So girls, next time don't bother voting for your favourite, cos the votes don't matter. But then again, if you wanna win those prizes they offer for getting the right winner, just vote for the one on the cover.

Somehow, I cannot seem to access my own blog today. Everyone else can access it except the owner himself. This is ridiculous. I almost couldn't access blogspot too, and only managed to after trying and trying. The little irritating things about blogging.

Ok. Time to sleep. Its another day of mugging tomorrow. How fun.

Bespelled

2005-04-06T17:49:00.000+08:00

This is my latest way of slacking. Bespelled. I've always had a thing for word games like Scrabble, Text Twist, etc. All of which, of course I am excellent in. Haha. Ok maybe not excellent, but I would like to think that I have a knack for it. Just like how I always save my Mommy from dying at Text Twist by answering her cry for help, and appearing in time to guess the 6 letter word to let her go to the next round. She recorded a high score of 200000+ with the help of yours truly.

Anyway, this is just to show that I'm not just into Mahjong. Like I told Josh, Mahjong is a game which stimulates your mind, exercises your arms as you swim and trains your concentration. So the conclusion is, I play INTELLECTUAL games. heh.

Anyway, Teckie/Annie introduced this to me last week when we were bored in the lab while waiting for our next lesson. So he decided to challenge me to it. Him being a seasoned player, and I, a newbie. Well, of course he knew how the game works so he had a higher score than me when it was time to go. But he goes for small little words while I go for the big ones. Anyway, I tried it out after I went back that day and got the hang of it.

Till now, I've played it 4 times. And here's my score.

I would say this is not too bad for a 4th timer huh. Heh.

Just in case you all can't see it too clearly... My score is 1268010. My longest word is FAMINES. My best word is UNDER (3900 points). And my rank is SUPER DICTIONARIAN (can't remember what level that is, maybe level 15 or smtg)!

Click HERE to try it out! How about a drink to someone who beats my score? haha. Oh yes, I still owe Pingpong and Meryl a drink. Haha. But, if I beat your score later on, then too bad.

WARNING: This game takes a hell of a long time to play. I had to leave the comp on overnight and go to sleep because I couldn't seem to die! Had to continue the next day. Hah. Actually I got quite sick of it after a while, so I had to let myself die. heh.

So, those with exams, don't say I didn't warn you! But of course, maybe you wouldn't last so long. hehe.

Ok, I'm officially starting work TONIGHT. Cannot "put water" to Annie anymore, otherwise he "look me no up".

Hunk and Babe watch 2

2005-04-04T23:55:00.000+08:00

Alright alright, that was a poor April Fool's Joke. And Josh had to comment immediately that its a joke, that's why the censure came in. Haha. Oh well, guess those who know me well enough would have figured it out. I suppose the date gave it away. Though I did get some pple asking me why I wanted to close down the blog. Heh. I guess I wouldn't close this down, but more likely I will soon have no more time to write as much with the exams coming up. Then after my last exam in NTU, have to study for CFA, then I will be gone for my trip for a month or so, then it will be out to the dreaded working world. But it the meantime, enjoy this "free entertainment" (I quote Teckie) while it lasts!

Over the weekend, I finally walked around the Esplanade for the first time. I know I sound rather suaku, but single guys really don't go out much. But, I have watched Singing in the Rain at the Esplanade before, just that I didn't walk around the place to check it out. So now I know what's at the Esplanade mall, I know where the breakdancers do their stuff, and I ate the chocolate strawberrys. Felt just like one of the tourists there. To top of the evening was a hearty meal at Marche. Haven't treated myself to such good food in a while man.

Got cheated also this weekend by Sportslink. Bought a new skipping rope because the one minimingmong lent me is kinda spoilt. Skipping a bit now to burn some fats and do some self-physio for my leg. Its much less boring than running. Anyway, I saw this skipping rope which was going at $18 because it had a ticker to count the number of skips you do. The normal one was going at $7. So I decided to make that added $10 investment. BUT, I just tried it out and the bloody ticker doesn't work! Bloody hell.

Also during the weekend, we had our final Mahjong session before the exams. It was the worst night I had ever man. First, my nose started to give me problems. It was already a little runny the whole day but when I was in the air-con room, it got worse and at the end of the night, I used up 3/4 box of tissue, rubbed my nose till the skin is broken, and I've got a pimple on my upper lip now (somehow I attribute it to blowing my nose too much). While I was playing, I also started to develop a headache, which just made me lose all concentration. BUT, the worst part of the night was getting RAPED by Huijing. Imagine, playing 20/40, she can win $80, and I lost $65. *Faint*. She broke my record of the most winnings in a night, and I broke my record of the most losses in a night. The rampage came halfway through the 2 1/2 rounds where she started to win almost every single round with not less than 4 tai. The ultimate was when she hit that 7 tai via a HUA SHANG (add 1 tai) that KA the 1,2,3,4 flowers (add 2 tai) and it was a MEN QING (add 1 tai). After that, she still continued with a few more 4 and 5 tais until I finally surrendered to her and to my headache. Had to stop the game cos my headache was getting too painful.

After the night where Teckie and I were raped by Huijing and her friend Mel(Alex wanted to "study" that night, but he was just hum ji) Teckie lost $26, and he had nothing much to say to Huijing, so he just let his fingers do the talking.

What his fingers or finger was trying to say, is that "This is the last time you will rape me like that. Next time we meet, it won't only be my finger that's gonna talk."

For me, I had nothing more to say... I just collapsed in shock...and foamed...

Alrights. Its a new month, and its time for the mouth-watering segment again. After much thought, I have decided who shall be this month's hunk.

Mr Leon Foo!

This is Ryan's current fitness instructor. I was actually thinking of putting Ryan as my hunk this month since he is really working hard at becoming one with his daily work-outs and his smoothness with the gals. Just look at the number of girls who publicly declare their love for him on April Fools Day. But, then I figured since he is still a half-baked hunk, I should not call him one yet, otherwise he might get complacent and stop his work out regime. So the spotlight thus shines on his Commando trained instructor.

Leon Foo. I usually refer to him as Leonie. And when he drinks tea, he's Tea Leoni. He is the hottest guy in NBS, with a fan base as large as Ryan's Tummy. Along with Jane, who's also his good friend, they make heads turn as they strut through the canteen or computer labs. Jane of course is the hottest gal in NBS, and Leon is the hottest guy. But fortunately, they're not a couple. Leon is fit, reputed to have great abs, and is an awfully nice guy. He's highly socialable and seems to make friends as easily as Ryan gains weight. A very good example is how Ryan and him have become good friends overnight. And I think the barely knew each other just a month ago. Now, Ryan even calls him Furby so intimately.

Here are some exerpts from my interview with Leonie...

Mingmong: Hey Leon, aren't you gonna have something to eat?
Leonie: Nah, I'm fine with my tea. After training Ryan, I told myself to never let myself be so fat, ever.
Mingmong: Ryan? Oh yeah, seems like he's getting bigger these days. He's really trying hard to be a hunk like you huh?
Leonie: Yeah. But its hard for him I guess.
Mingmong: Why's that?
Leonie: Haven't you heard? How hot you can be is determined by how many words you can make with your surname by adding a letter to it.
Mingmong: Oh? That's new. I haven't heard of that. *baffled*
Leonie: Yeah, see I can make 4 words with my surname. Food, Fook, Fool, and Foot!
Mingmong: Wow! Let me see if I can do that. *ponders*.....I think can do 5! Lima, Limb, Lime, Limo and Limp! Does that mean I can be hotter than you???
Leonie: Err...No. Because you need to be able to make a sentence with the words before its applicable.
Mingmong: Har? Can you?
Leonie: Yeah! Its like this... FOOK! I dropped my FOOD on my FOOT! I'm such a FOOL!
Mingmong: I see...let me try... I was in LIMA drinking LIME juice and listening to LIMP Biskit when I was knocked by a LIMO and broke my LIMB.
Leonie: Alright. You're hotter than me. Sigh. But now you know why Ryan can't be a hunk. You can't make a single word with Goh!
Mingmong: Yeah that's true. Poor Ryan.

Next, the babe of the month. I actually wanted Jane to be in it, since she and Leon are the Hottest 2 people in NBS. But, I decided to introduce someone else instead.

Ms Fiona Cai.

Well, this is to compensate her since she seemed rather unhappy this afternoon when I told her that her zip was undone. Well, though she was like 10 metres away, I had to prevent other guys in the canteen from seeing her open zip, so I shouted out to her and told her about it. She was of course embarrassed about it and used the file to cover her "privates". I thought she would thank me for telling her about it, but she called Lydia to complain to her and I got the usual "ferguson-style hair-dryer treatment" from Lyd. Then she told Rika about it and I got a tongue-lashing too! Oh wells, next time I see her zip open, I better not tell her. But since she was a little "pek" with me, I decided to be nice and let her be my babe of the month.

Anyways, Fiona was 3rd place in the NBS pageant 2 years ago. She's tall, very slim, tanned for now, and my chikopek marketing tutor's favourite student. Currently single, and is attracting a lot of attention from people. Eg. Refer to previous post. heh. And also, my year one neighbours asked me last week, "who's that year 3 nbs girl in our hall you always talk to? Very slim and pretty one." And of course, I'm sure there are a lot of other suitors coming along.

Anyway, I had a short interview with her too...

Mingmong: Hey Fiona, not in pants today?
Fiona: Nah, I'll stick to skirts. Zips are too troublesome.
Mingmong: Well, I didn't really see much. Its not as bad as guys who have their zips open and their shirt sticking out through it.
Fiona: Yea yea, luckily I was prepared that day.
Mingmong: Yeah, good thing you listened to your mama.
Fiona: Alright change topic.
Mingmong: Nice ipod you've got there. So what's your favourite song?
Fiona: Oh. I like Open Fly for All Guys by Showcase.
Mingmong: You mean, Pretty Fly for a White Guy by Basketcase?
Fiona: Oh yah, that's the title, keep forgetting it.

Alrights, before she slaughters me the next time she sees me, I better put up a better picture of her.

I admit. I ripped it from her friendster, but I had no choice cos I don't have any glam pics of her!

I know I said I wouldn't close down this blog. But, if I don't post anything up again after this, I am probably murdered and lying in a ditch with my zip undone.

Till next time!

The end of Mingmongster

2005-04-01T23:59:00.000+08:00

Effective from today, Mingmongster shall be permanently shut down. This is due to numerous anonymous complaints and attacks saying that the entries display a poor sense of humour and lack of intellectual depth. In addition, some have expressed their displeasure at being the butt of some jokes while others feel that they have been misrepresented.

To prevent further complaints and salvage whatever friendships the author has with his friends, Mingmong regrets to announce the end of Mingmongster. He thanks the minority few who have supported him thus far and seeks forgiveness from those who have been unintentionally hurt in the process.

Thanks.

Redken

2005-03-31T00:28:00.001+08:00

Did the Redken hair show on Monday and Tuesday for the Singapore Fashion Festival. Initially I thought I didn't get it but luckily I did. Usually I pay more than what normal pple pay to get my hair cut, that's why this show was all the more gratifying, cut hair and get paid somemore. Ha. Was thinking of changing my hair anyway and to have this show was just perfect.

Anyway, I spent half of Sunday at L'oreal getting my hair darkened. Sadly no funky colours like I hoped for. Last year they did weird colours like purple for some people, but this year, only 1 gal got blonde and the rest were all dark colours with some highlights here and there. So, that was Sunday. Monday was the actual show itself. But, I had a quiz on Monday morning too! So that meant little sleep the night before, and after the 830am quiz, I rushed down to taka for the rehearsals and stuff. The show was at 730pm but we were kept busy most of the time before that anyway with the hair stuff and rehearsals. Didn't get my hair cut on Monday because they wanted me to go down the next day for the seminar where they will cut my hair. Of course that was good news because that means more $$$ for another day's work.

So anyway, my wish came true when I wished for something DIFFERENT. And I always wanted to do dreadlocks and stuff, just that its way too expensive to do it here in Singapore unlike in places like the US where I think it should be cheaper since the African Americans love dreadlocks and stuff. Higher demand, lower prices. So, I GOT DREADLOCKS. How? You might wonder. They put this magic stuff on my hair that made it grew longer overnight!

Ok just kidding. They gave me hair extensions. Before the stylist told me he was doing dread locks, I feared I would remain like this...

The others were disturbing me initially because I had to rehearse like this for a while. Some said I can act as a gu niang in a gu zhuang show. Others said I look like a trans from Bangkok. But I think the best was when this dude Joseph and I did the classic Stephen Chow antic: guy walks up to "chio girl" from behind then tap on the shoulder and say "xiao2 jie3 ni3 jiao4 she3 me4 ming2?", then the "chio girl" from behind turns around with one finger in the nose and say "wo3 jiao4 RU2 HUA1". haha.

But this didn't look too promising either at first.

But in the end, it actually looked quite cool! But I was still the xiao jie/tranny for the night.

Now I know how I'll look with long hair man. Anyway, the stage was great, not too long and wide enough. The backdrop was also damn nice with all the special lighting and all during the show itself.

Oh. And guess who was doing the show too? A lantern! Heh. Ok its Alan.

Talked to him quite a bit and found out he was from Accountancy too. I always knew he was from NTU but I thought he was from Engine. But, the more surprising thing was.... HE'S FROM HALL 7 too! haha. He was Hall King in his time too. And he stayed in 36 5th floor in first year (my block) and 40 single rooms in 2nd and 3rd year. He's actually quite cute in person.

So anyway, the make up was kinda bad because it just further accentuated my Tranny look with the dark eyes.

Then while waiting for the show to start, we took pics. Used my phone to take some pics with some of the guys...

Some of the dudes: Jeremy (he was one of the finalists in the Next Big Thing on Channel U), Joseph (youngest guy there), Alan and Me. Joseph taught me a card game called Shithead. Its damn fun!

Cindy (Shithead 1) and Me (Shithead 2) cos we were both new to the game and we lost. Btw, she bloody tall. With heels, she's almost as tall as me.

Eugene. This is my 4th show with him this year. One of the nicer fellas I've done shows with.

If you thought my eyes were bad, check out Batgirl. She was the one I mentioned who had bleached hair, plus extensions. And she was lucky enough to be able to keep the extensions for herself. The rest had to take it off after the show. Apparently the extensions are damn ex and its real hair. Anyway, Joseph kept asking her why she got punched in the eyes.

This is Daniel, my partner on stage. Had to keep reminding each other where to walk.

Seraphina and me. Big hair was kinda like the norm for the gals that night. And we both look like we have the same hairstyle. I think I looked like one of the gals.

Jade. Joe maybe you might have seen her in school before too? She so hardworking, bring her laptop to do work while waiting la.

Kat and Remy. Remy was on Female's 50 most gorgeous people last year I think. He's a trainer at California too.

Paige. What a nice name. Think maybe next time I will call my daughter Paige.

Eugene's and My boss, Zee!

Finally, this is Samantha who apparently knows my sister cos they are in the same year in JC and she was a volunteer there. So SUKS, u know her or not? See her must say hi leh. She asked me if I am "Su Kuen's Brother". Gave me a shock. But luckily she took a photo with me otherwise I wouldn't have a pic of my favourite outfit for that night. She was also gushing and oogling over Jon Jonasson, just like Ms Jas Koala. Btw Koala, she has a topless pic of Jon Jonasson and he looks HOT. WANT? heh.

So that was that. The show went well, nothing funky and unusual about the hair this year. The colours were normal, save for my dreadlocks and a few girls with red/white extensions. Better than last year where a girl got a Mohawk with purple on the sides and blonde on the mohawk. So I went back feeling bushed. Slept little that night again because next morning it was back down at 830am for the hair seminar. Finally it was time to get my hair cut. Was hoping it would be something different that I haven't tried before, but then I wasn't the case.

Looks kinda like my usual hair cut, but oh wells, at least its not a disaster. It was my turn to be Batman.

The 2 stylists who were flown in specially for the 2 day event are on the extreme ends. Left is Stefan who's from Redken Canada and right is Sam Villa from Redken NY. Stefan was the one who did my dreads.

And these are the 3 gals who had their hair done on Tuesday too. They didn't do the show though. Guess I'm the only lucky one to get to do twice! and get more $$$, which is most important.

So after it all ended, I went back and KO-ed from 9pm to 9am. Couldn't sleep in peace also because I kept waking up thinking of the report I needed to do. But, the tiredness was too overwhelming and I just succumbed to it each time my alarm rang and I snoozed the whole night through.

If only I could have kept my dreads. Think the tutors will freak out when I step into class man. Ha. That would have been the perfect way to leave an impression on my last few weeks in NTU.

Exams coming up soon, sigh. Time to sleep.

Someone's coming back too! ;)

Just for You Chun

2005-03-29T01:28:00.000+08:00

My dear friend You Chun asked me why I haven't posted up a new post. I told him I just did so yesterday and he said he needs more because he is bored. So as a good friend, I shall accede to his request no matter how tired I am.

You Chun often has crushes. The lastest of which is this Korean actress who acted in A moment to remember. Can't remember her name although You Chun just told me a while ago. He sent me this picture to show me how demure and pretty she is. He claims that she looks great without make up too.

Well, I agree she looks kinda sweet and cute.

Btw, You Chun is well-known for one special feature about him. His right wrist. His secret to having a strong wrist is to constantly exercise it.

Its this big because of girls like the Korean one shown above that keeps his right hand constantly working. Of course what I mean is that he spends a lot of time on the computer scouring pictures of his crush that his wrist muscles becomes bigger over time (due to the clicking of the mouse with his right hand of course, what else could it be?). I certainly do not insinuate anything else regarding why his wrist is so strong. Of course, he has recently said that he has switched to using his left hand when he views pictures of his babes. Soon we might expect his wrists to finally even out in size.

I hope you are touched by special post just for you.

Damn tired now. Slept very little last night because I was studying for a quiz today at 830am. Then, I sped off after finishing my paper to work. Yes work, for the whole day till 1030pm. Did the Redken hairshow tonight for the Fashion Fest. Will put up some pictures soon. In the meantime, time to sleep cause I gotta go down again at 830am.

Sleeping beauty

2005-03-27T19:24:00.000+08:00

Jac had her bday party on Good Friday at her house. Food was good, weather was good, dog was cute, crowd was good, babes were good and in all it was fun. The highlight of the night has got to be playing Taboo. Played it with the whole RJ gang of gals, Ryan and Minimingmong. Initially, we really doubted Ryan's ability to play Taboo because of all the English mistakes he has been making on his blog. heh. But of course, Ryan boasted that he has the game at home and he is highly skilled at it.

Some hilarious moments of Taboo, much of which was contributed by Ryan the GREAT Taboo player himself...

Just within minutes of boasting how good he is at Taboo, it was his turn to describe the word. For those who don't know what Taboo is all about, Taboo is a game where one person has to describe the word on the card to the rest of the team. The card contains 5 words that cannot be used in the descriptions. So obviously, if you have a word to describe like "Poison-Ivy", the card would forbid you to use words like plant or poisonous etc etc. Well, Ryan really displayed his wide vocabulary by describing it as...

"A DEADLY VEGETABLE".

It left his whole team baffled as they tried hard to guess what it was. In the end, he gave up and passed. When everyone saw the word, it sent us into guffaws.

Another incident in the game was when Ryan was describing again. I shall let you all try to guess what the word was...

Ryan: Err...err...patterns!...err..up! Patterns up on top!!!
Ryan's Team: *baffled*

Can you guess what it is? The answer is...*drumroll*...

Rainbow.

In another classic Taboo moment, Minimingmong was describing a the second largest planet in the solar system. His team (which is Ryan's team) couldn't guess it, and they started listing some of the planets they know.

Mini's Team: Mercury?
Mini's Team: Venus?
Mini's Team: Jupiter?
Minimingmong: NOOO! The second largest!! *deadpans*
Ryan: Oh oh oh!! The U one!

At this point, I couldn't hold it in anymore and I decided to shout the answer out...

Mingmong: Ur Anus!

Obviously by the laughter I figured that most pple haven't heard that joke before. Ha. Minimingmong also said afterward that he wanted to describe it as "your ass hole" or something to that extent. But then again, it was a good tactic by me cos I caused them to lose concentration and spend some time laughing instead of guessing the next word. Ha.

There were a lot more other classic moments which made playing Taboo sooo entertaining. This game is a must at all parties! heh.

Anyway, there's a way to help you remember the order of the planets in the solar system. My primary 4 teacher taught me this and I have never forgotten it. Just remembet this formula: My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine Pickles.

The first letter of each word represents the first letter of each planet and its in the order of the planet closest to the sun till the furthest. They are...

Mercury
Venus
Earth
Mars
Jupiter
Saturn
Uranus
Neptune
Pluto

Ok, enough of the nerdy stuff. This is Jac and her bday cake, and of course, no picture is complete without Ryan, Mini and Me.

These are the babes at the party whom I played Taboo with.

I ripped these 2 pics from your blog Jac, hope you don't mind. But, it seems that you did not notice an anomaly in the picture above. Like I said, no picture is complete without Ryan, Mini and Me. BUT, Ryan and Mini are not that important. Mingmong completes all pictures. When I was young, I loved the book Where's Wally. Now, Where's Mingmong??? Ok, a drink to the first person to find me too. Haha.

In other events of the past few days, I had a conversation with a girl who really left me at loss for words. Some of the mind-boggling things she said included, "PMS is period". I was stunned for a moment and I said that PMS comes before a girl's period. But she insisted that PMS = period. *faint* I refused to explain further. Next, she said I am weird because I called myself a monster. I asked when I did that? She said my blog URL is Ming Monster. *Faint again*.

On the way back home this weekend, I was bored on the train as usual. But this time, I had some entertainment thanks to this sleeping beauty.

When I saw him I almost burst out laughing. And it certainly did not help that he does resemble William Hung to a certain extent. I don't know what he was thinking man but then it seemed as though he was taking the train just to sleep because when the train reached Pasir Ris (the last station of the East West line), he didn't get off! Instead, he woke up, stood up and walked a little, and...

went to the corner seat to get an even more comfortable position to sleep in. I didn't want to stay and find out what he was doing there and I got off the train.

Back to work, have a quiz. Glad most people took to my emoticons pics. Haha.

Forgot a face

2005-03-23T20:54:00.000+08:00

Opps. I realised I forgot a face while I was chatting. So I had to do it to make sure my list is complete. Forgot this Winking Mingmong.

Anyway, since Pingpong won the quiz, I decided to be nice and accede to her requests that I do certain faces for her....

Laugh Out Loud Mingmong

Act Cute Mingmong

F*** You Mingmong

And Pingpong really wanted to see my ass badly.

Too bad Pingpong. My ass is only reserved for special people to see. Limited access only. Heh.

Sorry Shihui, the emoticons you asked for were too hard to do at the moment! And you would need to send them to me too cos I don't have them also.

Lastly, do I look or sound gay?!?! bloody hell.